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(WTOP)   Dating experts can analyze your relationship potential by looking at the contents of your fridge. Guess it's time to move those severed heads   (wtop.com) divider line 86
    More: Interesting, dating, interpersonal relationship  
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4086 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2014 at 1:37 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-01-21 02:54:13 PM
Didn't I read this at least a month ago? Fark, where news is almost never "new".
 
2014-01-21 02:55:25 PM
fc02.deviantart.net
 
2014-01-21 02:58:40 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-21 03:01:36 PM
i42.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-21 03:03:48 PM
Fridge = beer
food = phone call

/ bachelor
 
2014-01-21 03:04:54 PM

brantgoose: [www.wtop.com image 375x260]

What this refrigerator door is saying:

a) Little Miss Perfect Can't be Wrong here is Nicole Hollander's the Woman Who Does Everything More Beautifully than You
b) OCD, health nut, super-model with a Ph.D in Microbiology to fall back on
c) You don't stand a chance in Hell, so just be glad you missed a bullet on this one.


What are you talking about?  Those are JARS OF URINE in the door there.
 
2014-01-21 03:05:33 PM

mjjt: [i40.tinypic.com image 500x666]


Commitment issues
 
2014-01-21 03:11:23 PM

zulius: Lesse: defrosting chicken, milk, eggs, spankbank, pre-packages of salad, assortment of veggies, yeast for the bread maker, and jelly. What does that say?


You invest. Whether actual stock or the things you buy. I don't expect you to own much, but what you do own is expensive and has a long lifespan. You'd rather avoid buying cheap until you can buy expensive. That includes car and furniture.
You think ahead, are healthy though not necessarily skinny (though maybe).
You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.
Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list. Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.
You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.
You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.
You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.
You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.
Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.

If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.
If you are a lady, you will be alone until you start on your bucket list and ease up. Then a guy will pass through the moment you have your guard down.

That is if God grants you long life, which with your healthy (and currently boring. Sorry) lifestyle I don't see why not.

/I'm the Mentalist and Psychic Friends Network wrapped into one.
//disclaimer. All of this might be blown away by whatever you have in the cupboards, especially if you have chocolate cereal. But you don't, do you? You have something sensible.
///sychic slashies

Sweet, you also give and/or do charity and NO ONE KNOWS.
until now :)
I'm gonna check your profile now if there is any pic, I expect it to be in 'smart' attire. But no. You decided against putting your pic, right?
Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)
 
2014-01-21 03:21:11 PM
I have pig brains in my fridge soaking right now for dinner tonight. I'm not sure what the dating expert would think about that.
 
2014-01-21 03:27:06 PM
Phooey on all this pseudoscience.  I'll stick with tea leaves, tarot cars and the I-Ching.
 
2014-01-21 03:35:12 PM
When my dear ex-wifey and I split up, I managed to keep the house, plus an old 'fridge.  But not much else.  When the old fridge died, I didn't have the cash on hand to replace it.  So I used a cooler with ice for a few months, while I saved up for a new one.  Learned some useful habits about food costs, storage and consumption.

/new fridge was much smaller, and more efficient

//still keep a cooler handy
 
2014-01-21 03:36:56 PM
img.fark.net

onions in one of the crisper, celery in the other
I am really shocked that we havent seen more farker fridge photos yet.

why yes, I am single
 
2014-01-21 03:38:09 PM

Girl Pants: No shiat, Sherlock.


img.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-21 03:38:17 PM

wademh: mjjt: [i40.tinypic.com image 500x666]

Commitment issues


i44.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-21 03:40:56 PM

Resident Muslim: zulius: Lesse: defrosting chicken, milk, eggs, spankbank, pre-packages of salad, assortment of veggies, yeast for the bread maker, and jelly. What does that say?

You invest. Whether actual stock or the things you buy. I don't expect you to own much, but what you do own is expensive and has a long lifespan. You'd rather avoid buying cheap until you can buy expensive. That includes car and furniture.
You think ahead, are healthy though not necessarily skinny (though maybe).
You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.
Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list. Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.
You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.
You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.
You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.
You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.
Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.

If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.
If you are a lady, you will be alone until you start on your bucket list and ease up. Then a guy will pass through the moment you have your guard down.

That is if God grants you long life, which with your healthy (and currently boring. Sorry) lifestyle I don't see why not.

/I'm the Mentalist and Psychic Friends Network wrapped into one.
//disclaimer. All of this might be blown away by whatever you have in the cupboards, especially if you have chocolate cereal. But you don't, do you? You have something sensible.
///sychic slashies

Sweet, you also give and/or do charity and NO ONE KNOWS.
until now :)
I'm gonna check your profile now if there is any pic, I expect it to be in 'smart' attire. But no. You decided against putting your pic, right?
Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)


Ha. Sick in bed on day 3, yet you still got me laughing. Bravo sir, I have no freaking idea what's in my fridge.
 
2014-01-21 04:19:05 PM
That article (and this thread) is much more entertaining if you replace all instances of "fridge" with "vadge" and "refrigerator" with "vagina."
 
2014-01-21 04:35:27 PM

gretzkyscores: "Almost always, if there's chaos in someone's fridge, there's probably chaos in someone's life."
While I think he's onto something here, you don't really need to get to someone's fridge to determine if there's chaos in their life. Just look at their body, car interior, and/or clothing. If they're disheveled, ripped, cluttered, and overwieght, chances are they either don't care about taking care of themselves and their own stuff, or else they're so consumed with unresolved emotional issues that they simply don't recognize what a mess they are. Either way, move on to someone that is mature and centered enough emotionally and physically to take basic care of themselves and their living environments.


The real give-away is their home. Some people, and by "some people" I don't mean anyone that I ever knew well, no, not at all, can keep themselves spiffy and cleaned up--clothes are fine, hair cut, maybe they keep their vehicle clean--but it's their more private places that reveal the chaos in their heads.

Usually it will manifest itself in their vehicle, but if not, their house is a dead giveaway. He can look like Dapper Dick when he goes to the grocery store, but if you peek in his windows, you'll discover that he's a hoarder with cardboard boxes piled up to the ceiling. And if you REALLY want to know how crazy they are, check out the bedroom. Because that's where they really let down their guard. Three dressers, one in front of the other, clothes spilling out of every one? Desk hasn't been dusted since it came home from Staples? Probably not a good catch.

/My house is clean, CLEAN I tell you. And so is the fridge.
 
2014-01-21 04:38:03 PM
I've got roofies and chloroform.
 
2014-01-21 05:01:28 PM

mjjt: [i40.tinypic.com image 500x666]


Can I come over?
 
2014-01-21 05:04:09 PM

namatad: [img.fark.net image 850x637]


If was feeling more motivated, I could probably start a pretty good slightly off-topic fight about how no real drinker would ever store tequila in the fridge.
 
2014-01-21 05:20:24 PM
it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
 
2014-01-21 06:02:02 PM

Pocket Ninja: namatad: [img.fark.net image 850x637]

If was feeling more motivated, I could probably start a pretty good slightly off-topic fight about how no real drinker would ever store tequila in the fridge.


crappy tequila for my drunk friend who only drinks crappy margaritas, and is married 
so good host food, rather than impressing date food
 
2014-01-21 06:33:57 PM

MattyBlast: So if a girl has large breasts and puts out, you won't have anything to do with her if there's a piece of moldy Tupperware in her 'fridge?  Yeah, TFA-writer...whatever you say.


Something something heeling it down the drain.
 
2014-01-21 06:51:02 PM

justalittledonedout: Resident Muslim: zulius: Lesse: defrosting chicken, milk, eggs, spankbank, pre-packages of salad, assortment of veggies, yeast for the bread maker, and jelly. What does that say?

You invest. Whether actual stock or the things you buy. I don't expect you to own much, but what you do own is expensive and has a long lifespan. You'd rather avoid buying cheap until you can buy expensive. That includes car and furniture.
You think ahead, are healthy though not necessarily skinny (though maybe).
You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.
Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list. Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.
You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.
You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.
You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.
You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.
Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.

If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.
If you are a lady, you will be alone until you start on your bucket list and ease up. Then a guy will pass through the moment you have your guard down.

That is if God grants you long life, which with your healthy (and currently boring. Sorry) lifestyle I don't see why not.

/I'm the Mentalist and Psychic Friends Network wrapped into one.
//disclaimer. All of this might be blown away by whatever you have in the cupboards, especially if you have chocolate cereal. But you don't, do you? You have something sensible.
///sychic slashies

Sweet, you also give and/or do charity and NO ONE KNOWS.
until now :)
I'm gonna check your profile now if there is any pic, I expect it to be in 'smart' attire. But no. You decided against putting your pic, right?
Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)

Ha. Sick in bed on day 3, yet you still got me laughing. Bravo sir, I have no freaking idea what's in my fridge.


1) always a joy to get a laugh out of someone, especially from someone who has been bedridden for as long as you. So get well soon.
2) I really am curious to see how much I got right about Zulius. The lack of alcohol also stresses how 'conservative' s/he is. Especially in that age group. Even more so if a guy.

I could pick up bits and pieces from from the food items. The charity thing was a shot in the dark as an extension of the personality I was building in my mind.
People most probably describe Zulius a lot with the words 'Sensible/dependable'.

/you on the other hand sound lucky enough to have someone who really takes care of you. You also are forgetful. You don't do the grocery shopping either. House/apt is a decent size too.
//shot in the dark: no kids in the house.
 
2014-01-21 06:57:19 PM
By strange coincidence, a thunderstorm had been brewing when Mahon, doing his grisly work at the bungalow,  was dealing with the most grisly job of all - the head, the woman's head. He had severed it from the trunk, built a huge fire in the sitting room, placed her head upon it, then (I owe a debt here to Edgar Wallace, who edited the transcript of the Mahon trial), then the storm broke with a violent flash of lightning and an appalling crash of thunder. As the head of Emily Kaye lay upon the coals, the dead eyes opened, and Mahon fled out to the deserted shore. When he nerved himself to return, the fire had done its work. The head was never found.

A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.
 
2014-01-21 07:19:55 PM

Resident Muslim: justalittledonedout: Resident Muslim: zulius: Lesse: defrosting chicken, milk, eggs, spankbank, pre-packages of salad, assortment of veggies, yeast for the bread maker, and jelly. What does that say?

You invest. Whether actual stock or the things you buy. I don't expect you to own much, but what you do own is expensive and has a long lifespan. You'd rather avoid buying cheap until you can buy expensive. That includes car and furniture.
You think ahead, are healthy though not necessarily skinny (though maybe).
You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.
Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list. Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.
You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.
You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.
You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.
You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.
Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.

If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.
If you are a lady, you will be alone until you start on your bucket list and ease up. Then a guy will pass through the moment you have your guard down.

That is if God grants you long life, which with your healthy (and currently boring. Sorry) lifestyle I don't see why not.

/I'm the Mentalist and Psychic Friends Network wrapped into one.
//disclaimer. All of this might be blown away by whatever you have in the cupboards, especially if you have chocolate cereal. But you don't, do you? You have something sensible.
///sychic slashies

Sweet, you also give and/or do charity and NO ONE KNOWS.
until now :)
I'm gonna check your profile now if there is any pic, I expect it to be in 'smart' attire. But no. You decided against putting your pic, right?
Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)

Ha. Sick in bed on day 3, yet you still got me laughing. Bravo sir, I have no freaking idea what's in my fridge.

1) always a joy to get a laugh out of someone, especially from someone who has been bedridden for as long as you. So get well soon.
2) I really am curious to see how much I got right about Zulius. The lack of alcohol also stresses how 'conservative' s/he is. Especially in that age group. Even more so if a guy.

I could pick up bits and pieces from from the food items. The charity thing was a shot in the dark as an extension of the personality I was building in my mind.
People most probably describe Zulius a lot with the words 'Sensible/dependable'.

/you on the other hand sound lucky enough to have someone who really takes care of you. You also are forgetful. You don't do the grocery shopping either. House/apt is a decent size too.
//shot in the dark: no kids in the house.


Thanks, its appreciated. Me myself and two kids;) house is tiny but clean (housekeeper by profession so I know how to fake it where it's not) got me on the forgetful though, if it doesn't get written down I'm not going to remember. Very curious myself to see how spot on you were with Zulius(holy fark I gotta get outta this bed!)
 
2014-01-21 07:51:15 PM
img.fark.net

The contents of his fridge are a concern, but he's cute & can cook.
 
2014-01-21 08:35:42 PM

Porous Horace: By strange coincidence, a thunderstorm had been brewing when Mahon, doing his grisly work at the bungalow,  was dealing with the most grisly job of all - the head, the woman's head. He had severed it from the trunk, built a huge fire in the sitting room, placed her head upon it, then (I owe a debt here to Edgar Wallace, who edited the transcript of the Mahon trial), then the storm broke with a violent flash of lightning and an appalling crash of thunder. As the head of Emily Kaye lay upon the coals, the dead eyes opened, and Mahon fled out to the deserted shore. When he nerved himself to return, the fire had done its work. The head was never found.

A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.


Something similarly gory happened to F-i-L (he was an alkie, used to go to sleep in chair)

Reconstruction that he woke up, had a stroke while kneeling in front of fire, probably poking it alight, pitched forward ....

In morning M-i-L came down, smelled charred meat ...
 
2014-01-21 09:34:17 PM

mjjt: Something similarly gory happened to F-i-L (he was an alkie, used to go to sleep in chair)
Reconstruction that he woke up, had a stroke while kneeling in front of fire, probably poking it alight, pitched forward ....
In morning M-i-L came down, smelled charred meat ...


Suicide.
 
2014-01-21 09:49:29 PM

namatad: [img.fark.net image 850x637]

onions in one of the crisper, celery in the other
I am really shocked that we havent seen more farker fridge photos yet.

why yes, I am single


I farking love Modelo.
 
2014-01-22 06:56:09 AM
static.rogerebert.com
 
2014-01-22 07:31:18 AM
imageshack.us

What about a Parallel dimension?
 
2014-01-22 02:16:41 PM
ZOOL!
 
2014-01-22 03:10:09 PM
First of all, there is no spankbank, I was just seeing if anyone was paying attention :P
For some reason, the investment disappeared, but, no, no investments yet. 401k just started, though.
Yes, I like furniture that lasts, I hate cheap things! BUT, that doesn't say that I DON'T have cheap furniture around that breaks anyways, so there's no point in spending too much.
Car? pfft, unless I get rich, I'll stick with my mid-size Nissan or Hyundai. I've never expected a car to "last."

Resident Muslim: You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.

 I live alone, because of hearing so many drama stories, though, I should have had a roommate when I did move out. There was one who I did live with, we don't talk about her anymore.


Resident Muslim: Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list.

No, this is not the case. No, I'm not the center of attention, but I'm certainly no shut-in. I'm usually the one flirting and making conversation with people. I love hearing people's stories. And about that "Bucket List":

Resident Muslim: Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.

I have no list. I live in the moment, so things will happen as they come.

Resident Muslim: You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.

No, standard 9-5 as a DBA, but that should change REALLLY soon as I take on my first international database client. Hobby of gaming is on hold while I get cozy with a new lady. TV Series? No. Anything that doesn't suck and make me change the channel is good enough. Though, I despise "Reality TV." The only one I enjoyed was "Cops."

Resident Muslim: You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.

Work ethic is accurate, however, I was invited to Happy Hour tonight, so there's that. I don't know you well enough to talk about close friends.

Resident Muslim: You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.

No clubs, I do Meetup from time to time, but nothing that has me hardcore. (I do trivia from time to time, but it doesn't crush my soul if we don't go...)

Resident Muslim: You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.

That could be said for the median age of Fark, eh? but, yes, I'm in that "spectrum," albeit, doesn't leave much to a 90th percentile :P

Resident Muslim: Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.

Another touchy subject, but we're getting better. The toast at Christmas was dedicated to me, so that made me warm and fuzzy.

Resident Muslim: If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.

She was normal when I met her! She turned INTO crazy! Again, one we don't talk about any more. Long story.

Resident Muslim: Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)

Blessed be or something, keep doing what you're doing :)

Resident Muslim: People most probably describe Zulius a lot with the words 'Sensible/dependable'.


Sensible? No, but I make decent choices, but I like to splurge sometimes. Dependable? Of course! I will want to deliver what I promise. Goes back to being raised proper. I've got a thing for people flaking on me, though.
Someone mentioned beer in the fridge. There is now because the lady came over last night, I needed something other than red wine to drink. Fat Tire if you want to analyze that :p

bughunter: ZOOL!


WHAT?(Danger zone?)
 
2014-01-22 04:13:43 PM
 
2014-01-22 05:57:42 PM

zulius: First of all, there is no spankbank, I was just seeing if anyone was paying attention :P
For some reason, the investment disappeared, but, no, no investments yet. 401k just started, though.
Yes, I like furniture that lasts, I hate cheap things! BUT, that doesn't say that I DON'T have cheap furniture around that breaks anyways, so there's no point in spending too much.
Car? pfft, unless I get rich, I'll stick with my mid-size Nissan or Hyundai. I've never expected a car to "last."

Resident Muslim: You live alone, or with an extremely, extremely like-minded person.
 I live alone, because of hearing so many drama stories, though, I should have had a roommate when I did move out. There was one who I did live with, we don't talk about her anymore.


Resident Muslim: Other people see you as somewhat boring. They will be surprised by what you will achieve once you hit your financial target and you start off on your bucket list.
No, this is not the case. No, I'm not the center of attention, but I'm certainly no shut-in. I'm usually the one flirting and making conversation with people. I love hearing people's stories. And about that "Bucket List":
Resident Muslim: Which you have written down, don't you? Or memorized.
I have no list. I live in the moment, so things will happen as they come.

Resident Muslim: You work long hours and might have a hobby that doesn't get the heart racing or are into very specific tv series.
No, standard 9-5 as a DBA, but that should change REALLLY soon as I take on my first international database client. Hobby of gaming is on hold while I get cozy with a new lady. TV Series? No. Anything that doesn't suck and make me change the channel is good enough. Though, I despise "Reality TV." The only one I enjoyed was "Cops."

Resident Muslim: You are very well liked at work (good work ethic), but have very few actual close friends. Nobody you'd hang out with after work.
Work ethic is accurate, however, I was invited to Happy Hour tonight, so there's that. I don't know you well enough to talk about close friends.

Resident Muslim: You might belong to a club that has something to do with the hobby, but also, well loved but no close friends.
No clubs, I do Meetup from time to time, but nothing that has me hardcore. (I do trivia from time to time, but it doesn't crush my soul if we don't go...)

Resident Muslim: You are also 25-35 with a margin of -/+ 5 years.
That could be said for the median age of Fark, eh? but, yes, I'm in that "spectrum," albeit, doesn't leave much to a 90th percentile :P

Resident Muslim: Very close (emotionally) to your parent(s) who instilled this type of thinking and personality.
Another touchy subject, but we're getting better. The toast at Christmas was dedicated to me, so that made me warm and fuzzy.

Resident Muslim: If you are a guy, you will attract and fall for a crazy lady who will be great fun but will drive you nuts and eat into your nest-egg. But you will truly love her.
She was normal when I met her! She turned INTO crazy! Again, one we don't talk about any more. Long story.

Resident Muslim: Don't change, good things will happen "in-sha-Allah" (God willing)
Blessed be or something, keep doing what you're doing :)
Resident Muslim: People most probably describe Zulius a lot with the words 'Sensible/dependable'.

Sensible? No, but I make decent choices, but I like to splurge sometimes. Dependable? Of course! I will want to deliver what I promise. Goes back to being raised proper. I've got a thing for people flaking on me, though.
Someone mentioned beer in the fridge. There is now because the lady came over last night, I needed something other than red wine to drink. Fat Tire if you want to analyze that :p
bughunter: ZOOL!

WHAT?(Danger zone?)


Hey, you asked what does your fridge say about you and I answered.
:)

I can go into detail about why I said those things, but I'm really, really tired.

Because you gave more details I was able to describe more. So I had a (much) better insight that Justalittledonedout above.
The bread maker helped a lot.
Said somebody who was old enough (past college) but not old enough (with more free time) that had a favorite bakery.

Thanks for replying and telling me how close I was.
 
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