Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Atlantic)   The lost story of American facial hair   (theatlantic.com) divider line 104
    More: Cool, White American, Frederick Douglass, dangerous jobs, Walt Whitman, early modern period, slave rebellion, Movember, history  
•       •       •

13016 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 10:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-01-20 08:19:39 PM  
And the online craft marketplace Etsy now sells a limitless variety of wares imprinted with images of mustaches,

static3.businessinsider.com
 
2014-01-20 08:31:04 PM  
I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.
 
2014-01-20 09:30:42 PM  
I had a very thick full beard.  I trimmed it back a bit recently (trimmed it back towards Riker and less Grizzly Adams), and even though I still have facial hair, my face was very cold that first couple of days.
 
2014-01-20 09:33:14 PM  
Holy hell.

Just skimmed the article.

Sometimes a beard is just a beard.
 
2014-01-20 09:36:19 PM  
How to grow a respectable beard:

Step 1: Stop shaving. This is important. You will have negative feedback in this endeavor. Count on it. Ignore it.

Step 2: Let that shiat grow out for a year or two, regardless of what friends and family might say.

Step 3: Show 'em who's boss.

Step 4: Profit.
 
2014-01-20 09:52:11 PM  

ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.


Time will come when you won't make fun of me for that. You'll be jealous. You'll be jealous wrinkly old hags.
 
2014-01-20 10:08:55 PM  
We have way too much free time on our hands.
 
2014-01-20 10:16:28 PM  
Bold flavor.
 
2014-01-20 11:01:18 PM  

ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.


I'm at the back end of that equation: I'm 51, and a full beard adds 5 to 10 years at least.
 
2014-01-20 11:02:39 PM  

bearded clamorer: How to grow a respectable beard:


Step 4: Profit.


It worked for these guys:

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-20 11:02:52 PM  

bearded clamorer: How to grow a respectable beard:

Step 1: Stop shaving. This is important. You will have negative feedback in this endeavor. Count on it. Ignore it.

Step 2: Let that shiat grow out for a year or two, regardless of what friends and family might say.

Step 3: Show 'em who's boss.

Step 4: Profit.


I can get decent enough growth in the chin region but i can't grow chops to save my life. Sad, scraggly and pathetic they are.
 
2014-01-20 11:04:33 PM  

MFAWG: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

I'm at the back end of that equation: I'm 51, and a full beard adds 5 to 10 years at least.


Yep. 45 here. I had a goatee for a while until I took a close look and saw a little too much grey in it. Which I'm sure isn't so bad, I just don't want it right now.
 
2014-01-20 11:05:22 PM  
Why couldn't it have remained lost?
 
2014-01-20 11:06:00 PM  
Thought it said "Fecal hair",

"Sir, we can do laser hair removal now as well."
"I don't think I have any laser hair."
 
2014-01-20 11:08:29 PM  

MFAWG: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

I'm at the back end of that equation: I'm 51, and a full beard adds 5 to 10 years at least.


Me too.

/"I grow old... I grow old... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled"
 
2014-01-20 11:10:28 PM  
And now the scary story of American facial hair.

1.bp.blogspot.com  diehipster.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-20 11:11:44 PM  

fusillade762: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

Time will come when you won't make fun of me for that. You'll be jealous. You'll be jealous wrinkly old hags.


That may be. Just make me a promise. Sometime within the next month you'll get a slice from Escape from New York and a Coney Dog from Nick's
 
2014-01-20 11:15:00 PM  
I've had a full beard for years, mostly because I grew tired of shaving every day. I do have to keep it pruned back, because eventually I start looking like a Chia Pet.
 
2014-01-20 11:18:30 PM  
I've got the

/ \
 v


model.
 
2014-01-20 11:19:27 PM  
Screw Duck Dynasty! Your 15 seconds of fame passed like 1421 hours ago, you pylons!

Now THESE are the BEARDS!

metaltalk.net
 
2014-01-20 11:20:14 PM  
The article says I grew my facial hair out of either white guilt or racism.  Nope, I grew it because the woman I was dating thought they looked hot.  I married her and now have to keep the facial hair.
 
2014-01-20 11:20:48 PM  
If you can get past the first few paragraphs that was a pretty interesting historical read.  Black barbershops demystified.
 
2014-01-20 11:23:29 PM  
If creepy MFers hadn't ruined classical 'stache/accessory looks, I'd be fine.  I have some serious dead zones, but a natural aristocratic growth pattern for 'stache/chin area, but one of the aforementioned dead zones is smack in the middle of my chin.

Creepy, bald, roid abusing a-holes ruined anything approaching that look in the 90s though.
 
2014-01-20 11:23:53 PM  
"So slaveholders in need of grooming often turned to their enslaved workforces."

Wow, Seneca got there first by warning that the mistreated slave had you by the throat.
 
2014-01-20 11:25:07 PM  
I tried growing a beard, just shaved it off a few days ago. My problem is I have to much gray growing in it. It might look good if it was all gray, but a splotch here and a spot there just looked dumb.
 
2014-01-20 11:26:12 PM  

ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.



I'm seeing this a lot lately.

Young people wearing full (and often scraggly) beards, adding ten years to their appearance.

Beards should only be worn if you are:

1.)  too lazy to shave
2.)  the hair on top of your head has thinned or fallen out


This is how it's done:

young
hegotridofme.com

old
www4.pictures.zimbio.com

No rugs
No plugs
 
2014-01-20 11:26:23 PM  

berylman: If you can get past the first few paragraphs that was a pretty interesting historical read.  Black barbershops demystified.


I agree. The section on black barbershops was very interesting.
 
2014-01-20 11:26:37 PM  

ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.


Haha, at least people think you're an adult. I keep my scruff for as long as I can bear because I still get asked how life at [insert local High School] is treating me.

I'm 21. It's really great when bars refuse to serve you.
 
2014-01-20 11:30:28 PM  

TomD9938: No rugs
No plugs


This.

If I go bald, so be it.  I know the ol' beard will always be an option.
 
2014-01-20 11:31:27 PM  
I grow a crazy mountain man beard every winter

'cept this winter I didn't 'cause I was hoping to find a better job.

meh
 
2014-01-20 11:32:56 PM  
I grew out my beard because it's cold outside.  When you're a man and can grow a full beard in two weeks, you can do these things.
 
2014-01-20 11:34:19 PM  

TomD9938: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.


I'm seeing this a lot lately.

Young people wearing full (and often scraggly) beards, adding ten years to their appearance.

Beards should only be worn if you are:

1.)  too lazy to shave
2.)  the hair on top of your head has thinned or fallen out


This is how it's done:

young
[hegotridofme.com image 300x354]

old
[www4.pictures.zimbio.com image 360x240]

No rugs
No plugs


I'm kind of like the "old" option.  My beard grows crazy fast.  In two weeks from the time I stop shaving, I have a beard about like that.  In three, it's about where I like it.  In four, it's getting scraggly and needs trimming.

I simply get bored of looking at the same face, so I grow it in the fall and shave it off in the spring.  I live in SoCal, so it's not really necessary.
 
2014-01-20 11:35:43 PM  
By cracky!
 
2014-01-20 11:36:04 PM  

boozel: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

Haha, at least people think you're an adult. I keep my scruff for as long as I can bear because I still get asked how life at [insert local High School] is treating me.

I'm 21. It's really great when bars refuse to serve you.


I only attend one bar, where I'm known because I'm pretty much the only person who drink Chambord Royale at a sports bar. My new supervisor is 18 (don't even get me started on that). The first day he was there I was clean shaven. He thought I went to high school with him.
 
2014-01-20 11:36:23 PM  
too long; didn't shave
 
2014-01-20 11:36:41 PM  
Just what the hell are those blue strips on Mach 3 razors supposed to mean? I spent like, 24 dollars on an 8 pack, I'll keep using that razor until it's basically ripping the hair out.

But I just realized I use crappy Bic throwaway razors to shave my junk.

Huh.

I think my priorities are out of whack.
 
2014-01-20 11:37:00 PM  

ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.


Same here. Despite the beard, on my 31st birthday I got carded when I ordered a glass of wine. Then a few months later I was in Vegas, when a table attendant asked me for some ID to make sure I was over 21. Flash forward a few years later, and my manager at work guessed I was 27 - despite the fact that my hair is now noticeably going gray in places.

Of course, it's not such a bad thing if you don't mind 20something women flirting with you.
 
2014-01-20 11:39:50 PM  

TinyFist: Just what the hell are those blue strips on Mach 3 razors supposed to mean? I spent like, 24 dollars on an 8 pack, I'll keep using that razor until it's basically ripping the hair out.

But I just realized I use crappy Bic throwaway razors to shave my junk.

Huh.

I think my priorities are out of whack.


Buy a doubled-edged safety razor.  100 blades for $10 and you''ll have clearer skin in a week or two.  You'll thank me.
 
2014-01-20 11:39:57 PM  
cdn.theatlantic.com

I'm pretty sure this image lampoons pearl clutching women much more than bearded men.
 
2014-01-20 11:40:00 PM  
Beards are back because the chances of being drafted into the military, worrying about having a solid seal on your gas mask, is a fading concern.
 
2014-01-20 11:40:30 PM  
Not recommend for your junk though.
 
2014-01-20 11:40:59 PM  

Omahawg: I grow a crazy mountain man beard every winter

'cept this winter I didn't 'cause I was hoping to find a better job.

meh


You can't do that then you might not be around late nights : (

Grow one out like Brig. Gen. Williams and well ...

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-01-20 11:42:03 PM  

kabar: Not recommend for your junk though.


Well that doesn't do me much good...
 
2014-01-20 11:43:35 PM  

boozel: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

Haha, at least people think you're an adult. I keep my scruff for as long as I can bear because I still get asked how life at [insert local High School] is treating me.

I'm 21. It's really great when bars refuse to serve you.


Get married and have a kid. Or just go with a kid. My wife and I never get carded. If you have a kid, you need a drink and I like to think the staff can understand that.
 
2014-01-20 11:43:39 PM  

doyner: TomD9938: No rugs
No plugs

This.

If I go bald, so be it.  I know the ol' beard will always be an option.


I find three days works for me, otherwise the gray starts showing.

Young with hair.  But got more tail without hair.

scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net

Old without hair and three-four days growth.

scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net

scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net

scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-01-20 11:44:12 PM  

boozel: ArkAngel: I wear a full beard because, without one, people routinely mistake me for being 20 when I am actually 30. Whilst I have been told numerous times that I'll appreciate it when I'm older, for the moment I simply find it annoying.

Haha, at least people think you're an adult. I keep my scruff for as long as I can bear because I still get asked how life at [insert local High School] is treating me.

I'm 21. It's really great when bars refuse to serve you.


It's even worse when you work in a high school with a face like that. The only reason I have a beard is so regular teachers (I'm just a sub) will quit thinking I'm a student, even though I'm wearing a faculty ID...
 
2014-01-20 11:44:27 PM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Screw Duck Dynasty! Your 15 seconds of fame passed like 1421 hours ago, you pylons!

Now THESE are the BEARDS!

[metaltalk.net image 400x294]


And sitting behind Dusty, of course, is their drummer Frank Beard, who only has a mustache.
 
2014-01-20 11:44:33 PM  

TinyFist: Just what the hell are those blue strips on Mach 3 razors supposed to mean? I spent like, 24 dollars on an 8 pack, I'll keep using that razor until it's basically ripping the hair out.

But I just realized I use crappy Bic throwaway razors to shave my junk.

Huh.

I think my priorities are out of whack.


I really hate that crap. I ended up just buying new razors with to refills just because the cartridge packs cost so damn much.

Anyway, I'm currently the owner of a short beard. Mainly because a friend once commented "You look gay with just a mustache." (NTTATWWT)

Actually considering dying the thing since at 51, its going grey in patches. It's making it look scraggly.
 
2014-01-20 11:46:18 PM  
Ah, the old "beard as white male guilt/symbol of oppression" bit. Neal Stephenson did it first, and funnier.
 
2014-01-20 11:46:24 PM  

Old enough to know better: TinyFist: 

Anyway, I'm currently the owner of a short beard. Mainly because a friend once commented "You look gay with just a mustache." (NTTATWWT)

Actually considering dying the thing since at 51, its going grey in patches. It's making it look scraggly.


Post. Pictures.
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report