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(WBIR Knoxville)   Snake-handling church services ultimately prove to be fatal for more than 50... snakes   (wbir.com) divider line 76
    More: Strange, Knoxville Zoo, Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, Campbell County, handling pastor, worship service  
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5301 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 5:44 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-20 04:24:25 PM
Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

/Didn't give God or Darwin a chance to claim their prize.
 
2014-01-20 04:27:04 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-20 04:43:19 PM
Somebody should have prayed for those snakes.
 
2014-01-20 05:01:54 PM
facultystaff.vwc.edu

Interesting book on the subject.
 
2014-01-20 05:19:54 PM

AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

/Didn't give God or Darwin a chance to claim their prize.


I can't stand snakes.  Terrified of them.  But for Fark's sake, no animal deserves that.  Farkin' religious assholes.

/I'm sure someone will be in here soon to tell us religion had nothing to do with it, though
 
2014-01-20 05:46:15 PM
What a snake handler might look like:

media0.giphy.com
 
2014-01-20 05:46:54 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

/Didn't give God or Darwin a chance to claim their prize.

I can't stand snakes.  Terrified of them.  But for Fark's sake, no animal deserves that.  Farkin' religious assholes.

/I'm sure someone will be in here soon to tell us religion had nothing to do with it, though


Uh, this is fark, remember? Anyone that ever thought of believing in a god is mentally ill, in case you've never read a thread on here.
 
2014-01-20 05:47:26 PM
None of them would talk.
 
2014-01-20 05:50:56 PM
God told us to crush snakes under our heels.
 
2014-01-20 05:52:05 PM
Meh..50 less lawyers on the Earth.
 
2014-01-20 05:54:42 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: God told us to crush snakes under our heels.


Buddha said that all beings have the buddha nature.
 
2014-01-20 05:55:44 PM
Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.
 
2014-01-20 05:59:04 PM
They might want to check the health of the people handling those sick snakes. Reptiles and birds shiat, can do a lot of farked up things to humans
 
2014-01-20 05:59:07 PM
The God that mice pray to wins.
 
2014-01-20 06:00:03 PM

nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.


I don't see a single post in this thread making fun of the religious right.
 
2014-01-20 06:03:32 PM

Satanic_Hamster: nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.

I don't see a single post in this thread making fun of the religious right.


Well in that case "in before" lefties start ranting about.......
 
2014-01-20 06:06:52 PM

AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.


Hey, you just discovered the secret of every snake handling religious person in the history of earth.
 
2014-01-20 06:09:05 PM

RottenEggs: Satanic_Hamster: nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.

I don't see a single post in this thread making fun of the religious right.

Well in that case "in before" lefties start ranting about.......


Can we just be non-partisan and make fun of religion in general?
 
2014-01-20 06:10:23 PM

AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.


So charge them with animal cruelty. Assholes
 
2014-01-20 06:11:50 PM

nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.


So both sides of church are bad (lefties & righties)?

/ agreed
 
2014-01-20 06:16:24 PM

AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

/Didn't give God or Darwin a chance to claim their prize.


Oh they milk them before each service so that they don't have any venom left in them.
 
2014-01-20 06:17:11 PM

nickdaisy: google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign


A "major donor"?

Really?

I should have known Obama was in the pockets of Big Snake all along...
 
2014-01-20 06:19:09 PM

AgentPothead: AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

Hey, you just discovered the secret of every snake handling religious person in the history of earth.


THIS

strathmeyer: AirForceVet: Sounds like the poor snakes were too sick to be much of a threat to the parishioners.

/Didn't give God or Darwin a chance to claim their prize.

Oh they milk them before each service so that they don't have any venom left in them.


And this.  Though sometimes they fail and then someone dies.  Of course, they say the person died of a heart attack or some such, though.  The fact that they were bitten by a snake in church is only coincidence.
 
2014-01-20 06:19:36 PM

poot_rootbeer: nickdaisy: google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign

A "major donor"?

Really?

I should have known Obama was in the pockets of Big Snake all along...


I think you've got that backwards...
 
2014-01-20 06:20:28 PM

nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.


That betrayal stung deep, didn't it?  You'd think the wranglers would be wary of serpents and fight against that black mamba, but they got charmed by his shiny scales, placid demeanor, and musical hiss like all the others.  And now our house of legislation is crawling in many-banded kraits, taipans, mamushis, and jumping vipers.
 
2014-01-20 06:29:07 PM

poot_rootbeer: nickdaisy: google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign

A "major donor"?

Really?

I should have known Obama was in the pockets of Big Snake all along...


Big Snake? Which Metal Gear game was that again?
 
2014-01-20 06:36:21 PM

AGremlin: What a snake handler might look like:

[media0.giphy.com image 200x291]


Is that an IHC Scout in that gif?
 
2014-01-20 06:41:45 PM
How do you "euthanize" a snake? Hatchet? Hedge clippers?
 
2014-01-20 06:45:40 PM

symptomoftheuniverse: How do you "euthanize" a snake? Hatchet? Hedge clippers?


Freezer, according to Snake Bytes (a web show made by a professional snake breeder). Or potentially lethal injection like a dog?

/those poor animals
 
2014-01-20 06:48:54 PM
Ringshadow: symptomoftheuniverse: How do you "euthanize" a snake? Hatchet? Hedge clippers?

Freezer, according to Snake Bytes (a web show made by a professional snake breeder). Or potentially lethal injection like a dog?


/those poor tasty animals
 
2014-01-20 06:51:47 PM
The sermon isn't over until the snakes are back in the box.
 
2014-01-20 06:52:26 PM

Ringshadow: symptomoftheuniverse: How do you "euthanize" a snake? Hatchet? Hedge clippers?

Freezer, according to Snake Bytes (a web show made by a professional snake breeder). Or potentially lethal injection like a dog?

/those poor animals


Hey, they're only poor in money. And brains. And spirit. And hygiene.

/Seriously, poor snakes. I grew up with snakes, and never really got why people are scared of them. It's really sad they couldn't be saved.
 
2014-01-20 06:57:19 PM
So does this mean the apples are free?
 
2014-01-20 06:57:43 PM
I have one meaty snake that needs to be handled, by female pastors under 30 only. Thank you.
 
2014-01-20 07:01:57 PM
I can remember when there used to be "snake pit" roadside attractions all over the place in that area.
 
2014-01-20 07:02:02 PM

Dragonflew: RottenEggs: Satanic_Hamster: nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.

I don't see a single post in this thread making fun of the religious right.

Well in that case "in before" lefties start ranting about.......

Can we just be non-partisan and make fun of religion in general?


Sure, as long as we take care to piss off everyone, Christian and Muslim, Hindu and Atheist. Because, really, if you blow yourself up because Persian mall Santa told you to, you are an idiot. If you complain about how intolerant Christians are, and then rant about how anyone who believes in God is mentally ill, you're a bad troll. And if you claim to follow the teachings of Jesus, yet are a racist, violent, poor-hating, and hypocritical asshole, you're a Free Republic reader.
 
2014-01-20 07:02:14 PM
I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.
 
2014-01-20 07:05:57 PM

Oldiron_79: I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.


Dude, PETA has protested that fish have feelings. Fish. I don't think they would look kindly on snake abuse.

heh heh heh
 
2014-01-20 07:06:05 PM

Oldiron_79: I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.


Sounds about right to me.
 
2014-01-20 07:09:28 PM
Its sad that when I saw the headline I knew exactly which church it was, I grew up one county over the whole area was (and is) ultra religious (there was a story here a few months ago about the county I grew up in having prayer services to ask God to guide the sheriffs to the local meth labs) and even the most strident, in church every time the doors were opened folks in the area thought that these guys were farking nuts.


/joined the Marines the day I turned 17 to get out of there
//30% unemployment, the few jobs that are available are minimum wage service or manual labor types.
///what really surprised me is that they took so long to act against em, they have been passing snakes around up there since before the turn of the century, I left in the mid 70s and everybody even then knew to stay away from them
 
2014-01-20 07:10:02 PM

Richard C Stanford: and then rant about how anyone who believes in God is mentally ill, you're a bad troll


shiat like this makes me laugh so hard. I seriously have to wonder what you will do in 52 years when religious belief is classified as a neurological disorder.
 
2014-01-20 07:11:38 PM
Who wants to join a religion to handle snakes?

Let me handle otters and I'll think about signing up.

livedoor.blogimg.jp
 
2014-01-20 07:13:56 PM

Lars The Canadian Viking: Oldiron_79: I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.

Sounds about right to me.


It is (in best Alex Guiness voice) Thats no troll.
 
2014-01-20 07:19:56 PM

poot_rootbeer: nickdaisy: google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign

A "major donor"?

Really?

I should have known Obama was in the pockets of Big Snake all along...


We're Cold Slither and you'll be joining us soon...
 
2014-01-20 07:20:30 PM
I went to them tent meeting revivalist shindigs as a child.
You never saw such a pack of hillbillies.
All praisin' Jeebus and talking in tongues.
Gave me a right proper appreciation for sit down services after that.
But, it taught me that religion is crazy.
No matter how you dress it up.
 
2014-01-20 07:37:08 PM

nickdaisy: Before you lefties start ranting about the religious right, google search that church. It was a major donor to obama's 2008 campaign and in 2012 the Secret Service actually made that pastor remove two snakes from his pocket before entering the inagural ball. Interesting read.


You sound persecuted.
 
2014-01-20 07:41:49 PM

Kumana Wanalaia: Oldiron_79: I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.

Dude, PETA has protested that fish sea kittens have feelings. Fish. I don't think they would look kindly on snake abuse.


FTFY.
 
2014-01-20 07:45:06 PM
Should be a Floriduh tag. Release these suckers into the Everglades and reduce the python population. Then release the Gorillas just before the next polar votex.
 
2014-01-20 07:49:57 PM
What a snake charmer might look like:
www.haflaentertainment.com
upload.wikimedia.org
www.antons-show.co.uk
 
2014-01-20 07:53:09 PM

Oldiron_79: I have it on good athority from top men at the facility in TFA that those snakes were in good health now(although they wasnt on arrival) going to be released into the wild till the guy got off on his charges then TWRA was like" fark it kill them because we wanna show him " and you cant really argue with thw agency that give you your license to have them, if they say jump you ask how high.

Of course the organizations you would call if someone was going this with a cute fuzzy animal arent gonna give a single fark when its a reptile.


Name one of them.
 
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