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(Modern Farmer)   An Illustrated Account of the Great Maple Syrup Heist   (modernfarmer.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing  
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6541 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 2:51 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-20 02:52:38 PM
$19 for a movie ticket?  Holy shiat!  I need to get out more.  Last time I went to a movie, I paid $9.
 
2014-01-20 02:59:50 PM
Worst. Graphic Novel. Ever.
 
2014-01-20 03:00:32 PM
Now that's what I call a sticky situation.
 
2014-01-20 03:02:23 PM
Illustrated by who? A 6 year old kid?
 
2014-01-20 03:02:53 PM
hilobrow.com

/could not be reached for comment
 
2014-01-20 03:04:32 PM
You'd think these thieves would find something butterworth spending their time on.
 
2014-01-20 03:04:59 PM
And Jason Segal is starring in the movie.  I think I might want to see that.
 
2014-01-20 03:05:51 PM
Waffles sound good right now.
 
2014-01-20 03:07:06 PM

pxlboy: [hilobrow.com image 550x304]

/could not be reached for comment


blogimg.ngfiles.com
 
2014-01-20 03:07:15 PM
Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.
 
2014-01-20 03:08:57 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-20 03:12:24 PM

Flab: $19 for a movie ticket?  Holy shiat!  I need to get out more.  Last time I went to a movie, I paid $9.


It's $19.99 ($CAN) an IMAX ticket in Montreal. It's $20.99 for a D-Box simulator seat. The last time I went to an IMAX 3D movie in the evening, it was $17 ($ US) in Ohio, so that doesn't seem too out of line. It's crazy expensive, which is why I tend to avoid IMAX 3D,
 
2014-01-20 03:13:08 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


Karo pancake syrup.  Cthulhu Almighty, that stuff is good.  Probably because it's what I grew up with, and I can't get it here.
 
2014-01-20 03:15:55 PM

FrancoFile: And Jason Segal is starring in the movie.  I think I might want to see that.


I know I want to see it. It will be the sweetest heist movie ever!

/I could drink a case of you, Canada
//Still I'd be on my feet
///Unless it was a case of syrup
 
2014-01-20 03:18:52 PM

DeaH: Flab: $19 for a movie ticket?  Holy shiat!  I need to get out more.  Last time I went to a movie, I paid $9.

It's $19.99 ($CAN) an IMAX ticket in Montreal. It's $20.99 for a D-Box simulator seat. The last time I went to an IMAX 3D movie in the evening, it was $17 ($ US) in Ohio, so that doesn't seem too out of line. It's crazy expensive, which is why I tend to avoid IMAX 3D,



Oh yeah, I can't wait to see The Great Maple Syrup Heist in Ultra AVX IMAX 3D. It's rumored to have an elaborate action montage where they, like, siphon off a lot of barrels. Now, picture that, but in 3D!

This movie will print money. Mark my words.
 
2014-01-20 03:20:28 PM
Oh! Canada.   facepalms
 
2014-01-20 03:24:06 PM
Gawd, I love being Canadian!
 
2014-01-20 03:24:45 PM
And Subby didn't use the Sappy tag.  Bad Subby...
 
2014-01-20 03:26:04 PM

pxlboy: [hilobrow.com image 550x304]

/could not be reached for comment


They are chugging corn piss, a far cry from maple nectar.
 
2014-01-20 03:27:39 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.


Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.
 
2014-01-20 03:30:28 PM

InterruptingQuirk: pxlboy: [hilobrow.com image 550x304]

/could not be reached for comment

They are chugging corn piss, a far cry from maple nectar.


I just looked at a high res version of that image.
 
2014-01-20 03:31:13 PM

Dragonflew: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.

Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.


Smell a lot of corpses do you?
 
2014-01-20 03:31:33 PM
"Only 2/3 of the missing syrup has been recovered..."

Do you suppose they don't realize people can eat syrup?
 
2014-01-20 03:33:46 PM

WHY?

 
2014-01-20 03:33:48 PM

Dragonflew: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.

Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.


Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet corpses... wait, what?
 
2014-01-20 03:35:05 PM
Yet another case of supply management gone awry!
The law of unintended consequences rules.
I am looking at you, dairy and poultry.

/Not a troll
//Frustrated Quebecer
///Slashies
 
2014-01-20 03:36:26 PM
The syrup is the only reason I ever go to Crackle Barrel
 
2014-01-20 03:37:22 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.

Karo pancake syrup.  Cthulhu Almighty, that stuff is good.  Probably because it's what I grew up with, and I can't get it here.


You can get it anywhere Amazon delivers. You in a drone free zone or something?

/nothing but real maple syrup in my house.
 
2014-01-20 03:37:59 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


I mix 1 part maple to 2 parts ordinary syrup.  My wife regards this as a crime.
 
2014-01-20 03:38:21 PM

Mr.Hawk: WHY?


It was a sweet idea at first
 
2014-01-20 03:38:31 PM

MagicBoris: Dragonflew: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.

Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.

Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet corpses... wait, what?


I agree. Maple Syrup has a "rotten meat" smell to it to me too. It's not precisely like it; it's kind of a sweeter version of the smell.
 
2014-01-20 03:41:00 PM
Ah, the self causing economic irregularity caused by supply crimping cartels.

Maple syrup prices are high enough you don't often find it in restaurants. Thus prices have to be high because demand is weaker than it would be if the prices were lower. Thus they have to hoard more maple syrup because the price is too high. Then people use less maple syrup. So they have to raise prices to make up for the fall in demand. And then the warehouses fill with years and years worth of maple syrup until Vermont farmers start a campaign for "Fresh Vermont Maple Syrup" pointing to the dominating Canadian maple reserves as being stale and years old. But global demand has dropped enough by this point that everyone is clamoring for fresh syrup, and Vermont syrup sells for a premium. Someone in the cartel decides to drop the price to undercut the Vermont sellers, but Vermont is winning on something other than price. Soon the price of Canadian syrup (called stale-yup by foodies) drops low enough that it shows up again at restaurants.

Gentlemen, if we do nothing to force the dismantling of the canadian syrup cartel we may have an International House of Pancakes incident.
 
2014-01-20 03:41:04 PM

NewWorldDan: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.

I mix 1 part maple to 2 parts ordinary syrup.  My wife regards this as a crime.


It is a crime, and should be punishable by slathering you with real maple syrup and tying you up and dropping you into a very large ant farm.
 
2014-01-20 03:43:42 PM
I love Canada.
 
2014-01-20 03:44:49 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


You have to boil the water off the sap before you use it.
 
2014-01-20 03:44:58 PM
OK, all you non-maple people, show of hands: who actually likes the butter-flavored syrup?

/real maple is the only way to go
 
2014-01-20 03:45:49 PM

KidneyStone: Benevolent Misanthrope: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.

Karo pancake syrup.  Cthulhu Almighty, that stuff is good.  Probably because it's what I grew up with, and I can't get it here.

You can get it anywhere Amazon delivers. You in a drone free zone or something?

/nothing but real maple syrup in my house.


OK - I could get it here in rural Northern Alberta, but with shipping it's far more expensive than the real stuff.  I worked out to about $20/bottle.
 
2014-01-20 03:47:14 PM
So they say each lb of maple syrup is worth $3?!  Wow tell that to the local grocery store.  I don't like real syrup.  Give me my Aunt Jemima flavored corn syrup.
 
2014-01-20 03:48:37 PM

MagicBoris: Dragonflew: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.

Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.

Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet corpses... wait, what?


I was trying to figure out why I think it smells like death one day, so I did some random Googling. There were countless posts about people smelling a mystery maple syrup smell in their homes and wondering if (or discovering that) an animal had died and had started to rot.  I am honestly not out of my mind.
 
2014-01-20 03:54:41 PM

Dragonflew: MagicBoris: Dragonflew: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough.

Maple is the sweetest taste I can think of, I can't even stand to smell it. Reminds me of corpses.

Ah, the smell of sweet, sweet corpses... wait, what?

I was trying to figure out why I think it smells like death one day, so I did some random Googling. There were countless posts about people smelling a mystery maple syrup smell in their homes and wondering if (or discovering that) an animal had died and had started to rot.  I am honestly not out of my mind.


Fry up a mess of THIS
s24.postimg.org
and your house will smell heavenly for a whole day.
 
2014-01-20 04:02:23 PM
Day_Old_Dutchie:

Fry up a mess of THIS
[s24.postimg.org image 431x272]
and your house will smell heavenly for a whole day.


My housemate does just that, usually followed by me leaving.
 
2014-01-20 04:02:57 PM
Dragonflew:
I was trying to figure out why I think it smells like death one day, so I did some random Googling. There were countless posts about people smelling a mystery maple syrup smell in their homes and wondering if (or discovering that) an animal had died and had started to rot.  I am honestly not out of my mind.

cgraves67:
I agree. Maple Syrup has a "rotten meat" smell to it to me too. It's not precisely like it; it's kind of a sweeter version of the smell.

Sometimes, I wonder if I spend too much time on Fark. But then I get to learn something I couldn't possibly have learned anywhere else, and it makes it all worthwhile.
 
2014-01-20 04:03:00 PM

wildcardjack: Ah, the self causing economic irregularity caused by supply crimping cartels.

Maple syrup prices are high enough you don't often find it in restaurants. Thus prices have to be high because demand is weaker than it would be if the prices were lower. Thus they have to hoard more maple syrup because the price is too high. Then people use less maple syrup. So they have to raise prices to make up for the fall in demand. And then the warehouses fill with years and years worth of maple syrup until Vermont farmers start a campaign for "Fresh Vermont Maple Syrup" pointing to the dominating Canadian maple reserves as being stale and years old. But global demand has dropped enough by this point that everyone is clamoring for fresh syrup, and Vermont syrup sells for a premium. Someone in the cartel decides to drop the price to undercut the Vermont sellers, but Vermont is winning on something other than price. Soon the price of Canadian syrup (called stale-yup by foodies) drops low enough that it shows up again at restaurants.

Gentlemen, if we do nothing to force the dismantling of the canadian syrup cartel we may have an International House of Pancakes incident.


The only option left is to go to war
 
2014-01-20 04:03:01 PM
Highland County, Virginia would like to say it is shocked and saddened that its pansies got caught such a crime would take place. But since it had to happen somewhere, why not Canada? Don't forget kids, reserve your tickets now for the 56th Annual Highland Maple Festival!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-20 04:03:20 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


WTF is wrong with you?
 
2014-01-20 04:06:48 PM

MagicBoris: DeaH: Flab: $19 for a movie ticket?  Holy shiat!  I need to get out more.  Last time I went to a movie, I paid $9.

It's $19.99 ($CAN) an IMAX ticket in Montreal. It's $20.99 for a D-Box simulator seat. The last time I went to an IMAX 3D movie in the evening, it was $17 ($ US) in Ohio, so that doesn't seem too out of line. It's crazy expensive, which is why I tend to avoid IMAX 3D,


Oh yeah, I can't wait to see The Great Maple Syrup Heist in Ultra AVX IMAX 3D. It's rumored to have an elaborate action montage where they, like, siphon off a lot of barrels. Now, picture that, but in 3D!

This movie will print money. Mark my words.


Spring for the extra dollar, and you'll finally feel what it's like to be Canadian.
 
2014-01-20 04:07:34 PM

Jument: uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.

WTF is wrong with you?


Chronic acute snarkitis is my GED in medicine opinion
 
2014-01-20 04:15:13 PM
Preferring corn syrup over REAL maple? Do y'all prefer dog-turds over real chocolate as well?
 
2014-01-20 04:16:05 PM
I was in a restaurant the other day & they gave me a bottle of "breakfast syrup".

I've heard of maple syrup, and pancake syrup... but breakfast syrup is new to me.

What are you supposed to do when you have pancakes for dinner? Do they have "dinner syrup"?
 
2014-01-20 04:17:36 PM

uncleacid: Too thin and not sweet enough. Give me my maple flavored corn syrup.


Most people who think Maple Syrup isn't sweet enough (or tasteless) are using the wrong grade on their stacks. Use a Grade B. It has more flavor. Grade A sounds like it's better, but it isn't. It was graded A because it didn't have as much maple flavor, so it could be used like a white sugar in baking. Cane sugar was expensive, and sometimes it involved being shipped around blockades. Plus, cane sugar was used for rum, and rum was also in demand. That's why it was so important to come up with a local sweetener. Maple syrup is sweet, but the darker B Grade stuff infuses a really maple-y aroma and taste when it's used. The Grade A stuff was bland, and that was considered better. It would only give sweetness to the recipe, no maple.

There was a time when people were thrilled to have white sugar and white bread because they were deemed fancier. I don't want fancy on  my pancakes or waffles. I want flavor. Don't use the Grade A Fancy stuff on the grocery store shelves. Get some Grade B.
 
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