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(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   Professor lies about his laptop getting stolen instead of cleaning all the porn off of it   (press-citizen.com) divider line 106
    More: Fail, University of Iowa, Iowa, information technology  
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10321 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 2:35 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-20 03:50:55 PM

valkore: Pretty sure he could have figured out how to wipe his laptop and then told the university's IT department that it mysteriously stopped working.


He wanted to keep the laptop at home for himself.  He reported it stolen for that purpose.  After being caught, he tried to cover by claiming he did it out of shame at the pron rather than to steal the device.

/Based on inference, not statements of fact
 
2014-01-20 03:51:11 PM
LINKS FROM THE COMPUTER OR THIS THREAD IS USELESS !
 
2014-01-20 03:53:34 PM

HairBolus: Thingster: That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.

He's a lecturer who teaches jazz trumpet and his band, Equilateral, still has its website located at MySpace. - no requirement for computer competence here.

A "one hitter" camouflaged as a cigarette:


My calling him a professor was indicating he probably was pretty dim, at least outside of his field of expertise.

Still applies even if he's a lecturer.

But you have to be really farking dim to report a laptop stolen vs buying a flash drive or an external HD.
 
2014-01-20 03:57:18 PM

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


420auction.com
 
2014-01-20 03:58:15 PM

NASAM: GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?

[www.weedist.com image 280x162]

Have one just like it.

/tobacco use only


Best invention ever. Looks JUST like a cigarette. If you get the quartz bat the tip even glows after you light it.

/tobacco of course!
 
2014-01-20 03:58:32 PM
I used to work at a college computer lab.  People use public computers for porn all the time.  I have shouted "DUDE, IS THAT CHICK FARKING A GOAT?!?!" in the course of my duties before.  One guy was so into it that he didn't stop until the cops literally put a hand on his shoulder.  I wasn't there to investigate the variety, but he was homeless and that section of the lab was roped off for a day or two for cleanup.

People would leave used tissues behind too.  After seeing so much porn, I could never determine the difference between cold and flu season and people breaking up over the holidays.
 
2014-01-20 04:01:21 PM

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


Thank you so much for the laugh.
 
2014-01-20 04:09:53 PM

Thingster: brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.

Or just have an external drive, dump your stash before turning the old laptop in, and copy it back.

That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.


No you are all reading it wrong..

He panicked because he was going to have to hand over the old laptop to the university IT people, and 'everyone knows' that even if you delete everything some geek is going to search it and find your old, rather (or even very) inappropriate, searches and files and 'I will end up being ruined and omg what to do I know I will report it stolen'

Total dumbass of course but I suspect this was the reason not a wish to keep the stuff.
 
2014-01-20 04:14:51 PM

Unoriginal_Username: GanjSmokr: "Police executed a search warrant and found the laptop - along with a small container of marijuana and a one-hitter - in Sandy's house, according to complaints."

Well, the important thing is we got one more raping, murdering, pot-head off the street.

/this article should finally prove that all pot smokers are heavy into porn
//I am no exception.

But not all porn users are into pot.

/porn is a gateway drug.


The cops must have thought BONUS! when they found that stash.  Two for one!
 
2014-01-20 04:27:18 PM

gaspode: Thingster: brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.

Or just have an external drive, dump your stash before turning the old laptop in, and copy it back.

That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.

No you are all reading it wrong..

He panicked because he was going to have to hand over the old laptop to the university IT people, and 'everyone knows' that even if you delete everything some geek is going to search it and find your old, rather (or even very) inappropriate, searches and files and 'I will end up being ruined and omg what to do I know I will report it stolen'

Total dumbass of course but I suspect this was the reason not a wish to keep the stuff.


pull the drive, say you had confidential info on it, if needed bill you. some student worker isn't going to fark with a professor over that.
 
2014-01-20 04:28:33 PM

Odd Bird: If that pr0n involves Mary Ann, I want to be on the jury.


He's a jazz guy, so it's possible.

/Voice or theory prof, maybe, maybe not.
//Piano, probably not.
///Organ, no way in hell.
 
2014-01-20 04:29:22 PM
fc07.deviantart.net
He needed a place for his stuff...
 
2014-01-20 04:31:41 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Unoriginal_Username: GanjSmokr: "Police executed a search warrant and found the laptop - along with a small container of marijuana and a one-hitter - in Sandy's house, according to complaints."

Well, the important thing is we got one more raping, murdering, pot-head off the street.

/this article should finally prove that all pot smokers are heavy into porn
//I am no exception.

But not all porn users are into pot.

/porn is a gateway drug.

The cops must have thought BONUS! when they found that stash.  Two for one!


They prob thought 'Jesus what a dbag for wasting out time. Oh this stupid asshole has pot on his desk, llet's add that one cause fark him'
 
2014-01-20 04:37:56 PM

i upped my meds-up yours: Odd Bird: If that pr0n involves Mary Ann, I want to be on the jury.

He's a jazz guy, so it's possible.

/Voice or theory prof, maybe, maybe not.
//Piano, probably not.
///Organ, no way in hell.


Umyeah, I was a little cryptic there. My point was, Mary Ann is a  woman.

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2014-01-20 04:40:07 PM

Pork1: Persnickety: Well, at least now we know what he was doing all that time instead fixing the hole in the boat.

+1


www.nndb.com

RIP Perfessor

 
2014-01-20 04:45:54 PM

TinyFist: How the hell did he get porn on his laptop? I've never once seen a laptop with a VHS player on it.

Are there VHS players with USB compatibility? Oh my god what have I been missing out on all these years?!


Here you go

http://www.amazon.com/ION-Audio-Video-Computer-Converter/dp/B0017PJ5 FI
 
2014-01-20 05:01:46 PM
What a One Hitter might look like:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-20 05:15:48 PM

mediablitz: The porn was Gilligan's.


Yeah, but this guy looks more like the Skipper.
cmsimg.press-citizen.com
 
2014-01-20 05:21:49 PM

NickelP: They prob thought 'Jesus what a dbag for wasting out time. Oh this stupid asshole has pot on his desk, llet's add that one cause fark him'


This, not all cops think weed is the devil. Plenty of them have better things to do though, and will put the screws to people who waste their time.
 
2014-01-20 05:34:11 PM
NickelP:

pull the drive, say you had confidential info on it, if needed bill you. some student worker isn't going to fark with a professor over that.

Well I know that, or the half dozen other sensible approaches.. but then Im not a fecking idiot like this one.
 
2014-01-20 05:38:33 PM

zimbomba63: This being Iowa, the guy was a one-man crime wave.  They'll be talking about this for years, maybe even locking their doors at night for a couple of weeks.


Not in Iowa City. Everybody has a one-hitter.
 
2014-01-20 05:54:41 PM
DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.
 
2014-01-20 06:02:39 PM

Spuddy345: DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.


Beg to differ.
 
2014-01-20 06:03:39 PM
Both ways sound fine to me in this case, and often "off of it" lends a better rhythm.
 
2014-01-20 06:05:12 PM
How about "from"?
 
2014-01-20 06:05:30 PM

Spuddy345: DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.


For all intensive porpoises, "off of" can be perfeckly cromulent in some cases.
 
2014-01-20 06:21:07 PM

King Something: Spuddy345: DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.

For all intensive porpoises, "off of" can be perfeckly cromulent in some cases.


I LOL'd.
 
2014-01-20 06:39:38 PM

99.998er: What a One Hitter might look like:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x292]


First thing I thought of. Well done.
 
2014-01-20 07:20:38 PM
Dumbass, he could have just dropped the hard drive a few times on a hard wood floor..  This wasn't that hard.  Oh no, my hard drive sounds funny.
 
2014-01-20 07:34:53 PM

reillan: brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.

He is a professor.  The whole "money to throw around" thing is *really* alien to them.


Also, contrary to public expectations, many of them have no idea how computers work, even in fairly techncial fields like chemistry.  It's not a huge surprise that a professor wouldn't realize that a computer could be traced.
 
2014-01-20 07:35:36 PM

Spuddy345: DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.


D'accord. I stop reading papers when that construction is used.
 
2014-01-20 07:45:19 PM

PanicMan: Dude.  You can get a cheap laptop for a couple hundred bucks.  Seriously.


Or a hooker.
 
2014-01-20 07:50:21 PM

zimbomba63: This being Iowa, the guy was a one-man crime wave.  They'll be talking about this for years, maybe even locking their doors at night for a couple of weeks.


I'm guessing you never spent a huge chunk of your life surrounded by 100 of miles of corn fields.  Midwesterners may be relatively straight-laced, but they also understand why someone would end up doing drugs out there.

If anything, midwestern (especially exurban) attitudes towards drugs and gang violence are often predicated on the assumption that of course our kids are going to be doing drugs if dealers extend their operation out here.  You have 8,000 kids in a housing subdivision and it's just houses; all they can do is ride their bikes as far as the highway and back.  If dealers aren't already moving in on that, something is wrong with capitalism.
 
2014-01-20 07:52:48 PM
Why is it always the music teacher?
 
2014-01-20 08:22:19 PM

EdNortonsTwin: Why is it always the music teacher?


Band camp.
 
2014-01-20 08:47:17 PM

Spuddy345: DEATH TO ALL THAT USE "OFF OF"!

Stupid construction.


"Get off that!"
"Get off of that!"

Either of those is acceptable. If you have a problem with that, you are a horrible person.
 
2014-01-20 09:06:14 PM

Iowan73: zimbomba63: This being Iowa, the guy was a one-man crime wave.  They'll be talking about this for years, maybe even locking their doors at night for a couple of weeks.

Not in Iowa City. Everybody has a one-hitter.


Ssssshh!  You'll cause a panic.
 
2014-01-20 09:15:14 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
Clonezilla is free.

www.laptoprepair101.com

New, CLEAN drive is $50 $40 $30.

cmsimg.press-citizen.com

Still having a tenured professorship and not having a  rap sheet....PRICELESS!!!

If you want to live dangerously get a free disc scrubber, transfer the pron to an external drive and then scrub the blank sectors with 20+ random write overs.
 
2014-01-20 09:15:48 PM

Xcott: zimbomba63: This being Iowa, the guy was a one-man crime wave.  They'll be talking about this for years, maybe even locking their doors at night for a couple of weeks.

I'm guessing you never spent a huge chunk of your life surrounded by 100 of miles of corn fields.  Midwesterners may be relatively straight-laced, but they also understand why someone would end up doing drugs out there.

If anything, midwestern (especially exurban) attitudes towards drugs and gang violence are often predicated on the assumption that of course our kids are going to be doing drugs if dealers extend their operation out here.  You have 8,000 kids in a housing subdivision and it's just houses; all they can do is ride their bikes as far as the highway and back.  If dealers aren't already moving in on that, something is wrong with capitalism.


Live in Illinois, and went to NIU in beautiful Dekalb, so I'm use to seeing corn in all directions.  I was just joking around, at the expense of a dear neighbors.
 
2014-01-20 09:30:14 PM
So  . . . what kind of porn?
 
2014-01-20 10:24:59 PM

wambu: So  . . . what kind of porn?


It's got to be something out of the ordinary, like "lady boy" pr0n or something, to warrant such a extraordinarily stupid attempt to hide it.  Or it can be just run-of-the-mill pr0n, and this guy is really, really stupid.
 
2014-01-20 10:48:58 PM
Let's see, it's been a while but I believe
c:/ del *.jpg /s
c:/ defrag c: /x
start downloading open source videos from
http://www.open-video.org/ until you run out of room.
c:/ del *.mp4 /s
will do it, unless you work at MIT. If you work at MIT, don't use work computers for porn.
Better yet don't use work computers for porn.
 
2014-01-20 10:55:54 PM

zimbomba63: Live in Illinois, and went to NIU in beautiful Dekalb, so I'm use to seeing corn in all directions. I was just joking around, at the expense of a dear neighbors.


Ha, no kidding.  I went to NIU in the early 90s, after growing up in Oswego---where the fields are now paved.
 
2014-01-20 11:11:01 PM

Xcott: zimbomba63: Live in Illinois, and went to NIU in beautiful Dekalb, so I'm use to seeing corn in all directions. I was just joking around, at the expense of a dear neighbors.

Ha, no kidding.  I went to NIU in the early 90s, after growing up in Oswego---where the fields are now paved.


I was there a little earlier than you, like the mid-70's.  Yeah, Oswego has changed a bit, hasn't it.
 
2014-01-20 11:44:17 PM
I think if it were child porn they'd have found it.

More likely he didn't have much money and figured that he could lie about the old one, use it at his house, and get a new one issued for work.

Which is really stupid, but more likely than his story.
 
2014-01-20 11:53:55 PM
Who downloads porn anymore? Just stream it like everyone else does. If you like a video and want to watch it again later just save the url in your favorites, which can be deleted pretty quick if you need to.
 
2014-01-21 12:11:05 AM

ReapTheChaos: Who downloads porn anymore? Just stream it like everyone else does. If you like a video and want to watch it again later just save the url in your favorites, which can be deleted pretty quick if you need to.


One day the site that is hosting your favorite video is going to go under and then where will you be!
 
2014-01-21 12:44:11 AM

Jument: ReapTheChaos: Who downloads porn anymore? Just stream it like everyone else does. If you like a video and want to watch it again later just save the url in your favorites, which can be deleted pretty quick if you need to.

One day the site that is hosting your favorite video is going to go under and then where will you be!


Options then:
a) wave your dick frantically at the screen, screaming WHAR PR0N WHAR?
b) surf for more pr0n
c) find something else to fap to
 
2014-01-21 01:08:05 AM

Jument: ReapTheChaos: Who downloads porn anymore? Just stream it like everyone else does. If you like a video and want to watch it again later just save the url in your favorites, which can be deleted pretty quick if you need to.

One day the site that is hosting your favorite video is going to go under and then where will you be!


With the billions of porn videos on the net I rarely find a need to watch the same thing twice, the only time I save one to my favorites is if I didn't finish watching it.
 
2014-01-21 02:12:48 AM

Pork1: Persnickety: Well, at least now we know what he was doing all that time instead fixing the hole in the boat.

+1


After that much porn he probably NEEDED that hole in the boat.
 
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