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(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   Professor lies about his laptop getting stolen instead of cleaning all the porn off of it   (press-citizen.com) divider line 106
    More: Fail, University of Iowa, Iowa, information technology  
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10321 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 2:35 PM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-20 02:41:11 PM  
How the hell did he get porn on his laptop? I've never once seen a laptop with a VHS player on it.

Are there VHS players with USB compatibility? Oh my god what have I been missing out on all these years?!
 
2014-01-20 02:41:38 PM  
Porn on his work computer?

Good work professor.
 
2014-01-20 02:42:07 PM  
What the hell is a "one-hitter"?
 
2014-01-20 02:42:20 PM  
"Police executed a search warrant and found the laptop - along with a small container of marijuana and a one-hitter - in Sandy's house, according to complaints."

Well, the important thing is we got one more raping, murdering, pot-head off the street.

/this article should finally prove that all pot smokers are heavy into porn
//I am no exception.
 
2014-01-20 02:43:01 PM  
The porn was Gilligan's.
 
2014-01-20 02:43:43 PM  
i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.
 
2014-01-20 02:44:19 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


It's a pipe with a bowl just big enough for one hit.
 
2014-01-20 02:45:48 PM  
It seems his clever, cunning plan was not well conceived.

/muwah ... choke
 
2014-01-20 02:46:03 PM  
Seems reasonable.  Most people do that when they get malware.  (warning, hyperbole)

At the current cost of laptops (under $300) there's real question as to whether it's worth the time in cleaning them up versus replacing them.

/mostly full of crap

/DNRTMFA

/perhaps obviously
 
2014-01-20 02:46:37 PM  

brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.


He is a professor.  The whole "money to throw around" thing is *really* alien to them.
 
2014-01-20 02:46:40 PM  

Fafai: GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?

It's a pipe with a bowl just big enough for one hit.


SHAZAM!  What will they think of next!

Also, know as a "concert pipe".
 
2014-01-20 02:46:49 PM  

brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.


Or just have an external drive, dump your stash before turning the old laptop in, and copy it back.

That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.
 
2014-01-20 02:48:24 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


Now try to bare with me because this is Kind of complicated...
 
2014-01-20 02:48:38 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


We had "Dugouts": The one-hitter looked like a  cigarette-sized baseball bat, you pushed it down into some weed and then the tip of it held enough pot for one hit. Some of them looked like cigs too.
 
2014-01-20 02:50:07 PM  
Pretty sure he could have figured out how to wipe his laptop and then told the university's IT department that it mysteriously stopped working.
 
2014-01-20 02:51:54 PM  

Fafai: GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?

It's a pipe with a bowl just big enough for one hit.


Thanks. You would think a news article would not just use the term without definition.
 
2014-01-20 02:52:04 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?


www.weedist.com

Have one just like it.

/tobacco use only
 
2014-01-20 02:52:38 PM  
If that pr0n involves Mary Ann, I want to be on the jury.

/nuts, misdemeanors...
 
2014-01-20 02:55:53 PM  

SewerSquirrels: GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?

Now try to bare with me because this is Kind of complicated...


That's quite the invitation.
 
2014-01-20 02:56:35 PM  
Well, at least now we know what he was doing all that time instead fixing the hole in the boat.
 
2014-01-20 02:56:55 PM  
This being Iowa, the guy was a one-man crime wave.  They'll be talking about this for years, maybe even locking their doors at night for a couple of weeks.
 
2014-01-20 02:57:41 PM  
He could have said his dog ate it.
 
2014-01-20 02:58:59 PM  
Seriously? In this day and age, there are still people who consider that admitting to watching porn is more embarrassing that filing a false police report?
 
2014-01-20 03:00:09 PM  
Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.
 
2014-01-20 03:03:04 PM  

Persnickety: Well, at least now we know what he was doing all that time instead fixing the hole in the boat.


+1
 
2014-01-20 03:03:30 PM  

brandnewchair: i realize not everyone has money to throw around,
but having your own personal laptop for porn (and whatever else one might use a computer for) seems like a good investment.


I don't think there is any other use for a computer.
 
2014-01-20 03:05:10 PM  

miss diminutive: Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.


I always borrow someone else's work computer when downloading pr0n.
 
2014-01-20 03:06:52 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?



An almost perfect game.
 
2014-01-20 03:07:27 PM  

CleanAndPure: miss diminutive: Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.

I always borrow someone else's work computer when downloading pr0n.


I borrow borrowed computer's for porn.
 
2014-01-20 03:07:46 PM  
Two words, flash drive.
 
2014-01-20 03:07:53 PM  
Now he may learn how to transpose things into the key for his prison cell.
 
2014-01-20 03:08:06 PM  

CygnusDarius: CleanAndPure: miss diminutive: Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.

I always borrow someone else's work computer when downloading pr0n.

I borrow borrowed computer's computers for porn.


FTFM.
 
2014-01-20 03:10:23 PM  
Dude.  You can get a cheap laptop for a couple hundred bucks.  Seriously.
 
2014-01-20 03:11:45 PM  

Dreamless: SewerSquirrels: GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?

Now try to bare with me because this is Kind of complicated...

That's quite the invitation.


Well, I had a 50/50 shot and if I'd been wrong the other way, it's possible I would have been eaten alive.

Before anybody gets to exited though, keep in mind, I ain't no cheap ho. That and also, I'm a dude. An oldish dude...but it's your dime.
 
2014-01-20 03:12:11 PM  

Thingster: That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.


He's a lecturer who teaches jazz trumpet and his band, Equilateral, still has its website located at MySpace. - no requirement for computer competence here.

A "one hitter" camouflaged as a cigarette:

www.caprishop.us
 
2014-01-20 03:13:04 PM  
You can buy a $60 android tablet and surf all the porn you want. Jesus. How stupid are these people? shiat, use your phone, you worthless farkstain. Ugh. Christ. I don't care about his porn, only his stupid.
 
2014-01-20 03:14:43 PM  
What a sad site, the most popular articles from the sidebar are all obits...
 
2014-01-20 03:15:45 PM  

Tio_Holtzmann: You can buy a $60 android tablet and surf all the porn you want. Jesus. How stupid are these people? shiat, use your phone, you worthless farkstain. Ugh. Christ. I don't care about his porn, only his stupid.


Well what do you expect? He was high!
 
2014-01-20 03:17:03 PM  

CleanAndPure: miss diminutive: Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.

I always borrow someone else's work computer when downloading pr0n.


Make sure to spread the pr0n randomly across at least 45 separate nested folders.

It's like Easter!
 
2014-01-20 03:17:35 PM  
OH THANK GOD! THANK GOD, they hot the weed. Now we can all feel safer.
 
2014-01-20 03:17:50 PM  

CygnusDarius: CygnusDarius: CleanAndPure: miss diminutive: Downloading porn on his work computer? Idiot.

I always borrow someone else's work computer when downloading pr0n.

I borrow borrowed computer's computers for porn.

FTFM.


Can I borrow your computer?
 
2014-01-20 03:18:10 PM  

SewerSquirrels: Well, I had a 50/50 shot and if I'd been wrong the other way, it's possible I would have been eaten alive.

Before anybody gets to exited though, keep in mind, I ain't no cheap ho. That and also, I'm a dude. An oldish dude...but it's your dime.


"Too excited"...crap! That does it; I'm hanging up my keyboard for the day.
 
2014-01-20 03:19:09 PM  

GameSprocket: What the hell is a "one-hitter"?



It's close to pitching a perfect game in baseball but that's not important right now.
 
2014-01-20 03:27:36 PM  
HairBolus: Thingster: That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.

He's a lecturer who teaches jazz trumpet and his band, Equilateral, still has its website located at MySpace. - no requirement for computer competence here.


Trumpet, or skin flute?
 
2014-01-20 03:31:36 PM  
Despite the obvious confusion for some, this article was very satisfying for myself instead of "drug paraphernalia."
 
2014-01-20 03:33:24 PM  

nunyadang: HairBolus: Thingster: That must be some grade A stuff (or this guy is pretty dim - he is a professor and all), to report the computer stolen to save his porn.

He's a lecturer who teaches jazz trumpet and his band, Equilateral, still has its website located at MySpace. - no requirement for computer competence here.

Trumpet, or skin flute?


If you want an A in his class, you'll learn to play the flute.  And, remember, practice makes perfect.
 
2014-01-20 03:35:53 PM  
In all my time at various work sites I have been issued laptops not once had I ever thought about looking at porn on them. I have my own PC for that stuff. One IT dept gave me a compliment on how clean the laptop I had was after I turned it back in.
 
2014-01-20 03:37:22 PM  

Bslim: OH THANK GOD! THANK GOD, they hot the weed. Now we can all feel safer.


I hot the weed, too. Unless I'm eating it. Sometimes even then, too.
 
2014-01-20 03:44:23 PM  
I bet it wasn't that the laptop had porn on it, was because of what kind of porn was on it.   I mean there's porn and then there's porn.  Most guys won't care if people know they look at porn but don't want anyone to know if they look at porn.
 
2014-01-20 03:50:23 PM  

GanjSmokr: "Police executed a search warrant and found the laptop - along with a small container of marijuana and a one-hitter - in Sandy's house, according to complaints."

Well, the important thing is we got one more raping, murdering, pot-head off the street.

/this article should finally prove that all pot smokers are heavy into porn
//I am no exception.


But not all porn users are into pot.

/porn is a gateway drug.
 
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