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(Telegraph)   DNA tests have solved the last mystery of the Titanic, I mean apart from why I let my girlfriend drag me to see that crap back in '97   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 77
    More: Interesting, DNA, Titanic, genetic linkage  
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9819 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 12:26 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-20 12:28:15 PM  
I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?
 
2014-01-20 12:30:28 PM  
Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.
 
2014-01-20 12:30:51 PM  

MLWS: I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?


Between that and the spec fx it was a worthwhile watch.
 
2014-01-20 12:31:38 PM  
Rapmaster2000


Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


Jesus died on the Titanic?
 
2014-01-20 12:32:08 PM  
...claiming to be the child, and apparently able to provide details thought to be known only to the family...

Sounds legit. Two year olds are well known for their vast knowledge of family lore and history.
 
2014-01-20 12:32:46 PM  
uh.  girls will do you if you watch that movie with them.
 
2014-01-20 12:33:11 PM  

MLWS: I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?


The sole redeeming feature.  I got dragged off to see it, too.  Had planned a jam with some musician buddies, instead.

/still have a partial grudge against Leo, for that
 
2014-01-20 12:33:45 PM  
Subsequent DNA tests on the paternity of your girlfriend's children will reveal that answer too, subby.
 
2014-01-20 12:33:45 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Rapmaster2000


Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


Jesus died on the Titanic?


Sure, dontcha know he was King of the World!!
 
2014-01-20 12:34:09 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


How about a spoiler warning
 
2014-01-20 12:34:12 PM  
DNA tests have solved the last mystery of the Titanic, I mean apart from why I let my girlfriend drag me to see that crap back in '97

So that you'd have a shot at leaving your DNA on her?
 
2014-01-20 12:35:49 PM  
blog.chili-tv.it
 
2014-01-20 12:37:20 PM  
If your girlfriend "dragged" you off to see it, chances are it was because you hoped to get laid. How'd that work out for ya?
 
2014-01-20 12:40:11 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


You obviously didn't stay for the post-credit scene.
 
2014-01-20 12:42:46 PM  

Mentat: Rapmaster2000: Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.

You obviously didn't stay for the post-credit scene.


Me neither. It was too long -- it went on for like 3 days.
 
2014-01-20 12:45:12 PM  
So, she turned out to be a very old god-damn liar?
 
2014-01-20 12:46:17 PM  
www.dumpaday.com
 
2014-01-20 12:47:59 PM  
The blooper shots after the credits where epic. If you didn't stay to watch, your loss.
 
2014-01-20 12:49:14 PM  
www.digdang.com
 
2014-01-20 12:50:45 PM  

Cheron: Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.

How about a spoiler warning


You jest. However, I had a visibly drunk father of a pre-adolescent girl angrily (but not loudly) attempt to engage me in fisticuffs because he overheard me make mention of the fact the Titanic sinks whilst we all were at the concession stand on opening weekend of this.

She and her sober mother talked him down and the girl was visibly embarrassed. She told me she was sorry as they walked away and entered

3 hours later, I thought to myself as I was walking to my car, "Y'know, getting in a fight and possibly getting detained/questioned by the cops would very probably would have been a better use of my time."
 
2014-01-20 12:51:00 PM  

stuffy: The blooper shots after the credits where epic. If you didn't stay to watch, your loss.


Were they better than the ones on Smokey and the Bandit?
 
2014-01-20 12:51:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


Well thanks a lot, Jerkwad! I assumed P of the C ended with Uncle Remus closing the book and singing Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. That would make more sense, really.
 
2014-01-20 12:53:12 PM  
Trust me. Be glad you saw it with your girlfriend.

I was in High School when that came out. The kids I hung out with was basically 4 girls and one guy besides me. All the girls wanted to see it, and I was the one with the car.  Not saying it wasn't bad to be the kid to have 4 relatively hot teen girls in your car, but damn man, my hormones were back-seated by the sound of them crying.
 
2014-01-20 12:53:26 PM  
I hated Titanic.  I was rooting for the iceberg by mid-movie.
 
2014-01-20 12:56:24 PM  
Titanic was the last movie I saw in a theater. The experience scarred me that much.

Well, perhaps not the last. I may go again someday. But, right now, it's not on the agenda.
 
2014-01-20 01:01:00 PM  
You must mean the mystery of how you get a girlfriend at all
 
2014-01-20 01:02:03 PM  

tonguedepressor: MLWS: I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?

Between that and the spec fx it was a worthwhile watch.


Oh hell no it wasn't. One short flash of tatas and some admittedly good special effects were not nearly enough to make up for that plodding, pretentious, period piece crap. It would have had to be nearly non-stop nudity and lesbian sex in the background to make up for everything else.

I love James Cameron and all, but that movie was farking brutal to make it through. My GF at the time hated it too. She actually apologized to me on the way out of the theater.
 
2014-01-20 01:02:38 PM  
thebarncat.com
 
2014-01-20 01:08:19 PM  

SewerSquirrels: Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.

Well thanks a lot, Jerkwad! I assumed P of the C ended with Uncle Remus closing the book and singing Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. That would make more sense, really.


Personally I don't really see that argument, surely you could say the same about most films? Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan star in a rom com - they get together right at the end. Sylvester Stallone in an action film - he kills the big bad guy at the end. World War II action film - the Allies win in the end after facing nearly impossible odds - and likely one of the main good guys (but not the main star) dies shortly before the end to show war is hell/noble sacrifices.

/never watched Titantic or Passion of the Christ as it happens.
 
2014-01-20 01:10:10 PM  

xevian: Trust me. Be glad you saw it with your girlfriend.

I was in High School when that came out. The kids I hung out with was basically 4 girls and one guy besides me. All the girls wanted to see it, and I was the one with the car.  Not saying it wasn't bad to be the kid to have 4 relatively hot teen girls in your car, but damn man, my hormones were back-seated by the sound of them crying.



Do you mean to tell me that it isn't totally normal to become fully turgid at the sound of crying teenage girls?
 
2014-01-20 01:14:02 PM  
CSB

I remember when that movie came out, one of our local, independent papers had an article written by a guy who had gone to Titanic with his girlfriend. He fell asleep and woke up right near the end when Kate W was on the door and Leo was in the water and he was doing his big speech about how she wasn't going to die there. Apparently he burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Pissed off the whole crowd.

//man, almost wish I was there for that. Almost.
 
2014-01-20 01:16:19 PM  

jaytkay: ...claiming to be the child, and apparently able to provide details thought to be known only to the family...

Sounds legit. Two year olds are well known for their vast knowledge of family lore and history.


I was wondering about that myself.
 
2014-01-20 01:19:49 PM  

Ghost Roach: stuffy: The blooper shots after the credits where epic. If you didn't stay to watch, your loss.

Were they better than the ones on Smokey and the Bandit?


Those were epic bloopers, almost as good as the ones in Cannonball Run and Hooper.  Hard to tell where the movie ended and the blooper began
 
2014-01-20 01:22:04 PM  
I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but what really sucked was hearing that dammed Celine Dion song play 50 times a day for something like 2 years at work. That, my friends, that is what drove me to madness.
www.saintvespaluus.com
 
2014-01-20 01:23:03 PM  
Bloody hell, take a look at this:

http://www.titanicslastmystery.com/
 
2014-01-20 01:26:01 PM  
i1161.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-20 01:26:13 PM  

rhondajeremy: CSB

I remember when that movie came out, one of our local, independent papers had an article written by a guy who had gone to Titanic with his girlfriend. He fell asleep and woke up right near the end when Kate W was on the door and Leo was in the water and he was doing his big speech about how she wasn't going to die there. Apparently he burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Pissed off the whole crowd.

//man, almost wish I was there for that. Almost.


Yeah, my GF and I busted up laughing at that too, and the looks we got could have melted steel...
 
2014-01-20 01:27:15 PM  
Is this where I go to make fun of Titanic in hopes to strengthen some hopelessly fleeting image of personal mainlines?
 
2014-01-20 01:28:42 PM  

RedTank: Is this where I go to make fun of Titanic in hopes to strengthen some hopelessly fleeting image of personal mainlines?


Manlyness
 
2014-01-20 01:29:43 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.


You missed the last 10 seconds. He got better.

MLWS: I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?


And done, appropriately, in the bewbies.
 
2014-01-20 01:33:43 PM  
Steaming pile of chick flick.
 
2014-01-20 01:40:35 PM  

SewerSquirrels: I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but what really sucked was hearing that dammed Celine Dion song play 50 times a day for something like 2 years at work. That, my friends, that is what drove me to madness.
[www.saintvespaluus.com image 400x255]


Mouth of Madness >>>>>>>>> Titanic

/ more my kind of film...
 
2014-01-20 01:53:34 PM  
I did not think it was that bad.
comediva.com
 
2014-01-20 02:01:39 PM  

mongbiohazard: rhondajeremy: CSB

I remember when that movie came out, one of our local, independent papers had an article written by a guy who had gone to Titanic with his girlfriend. He fell asleep and woke up right near the end when Kate W was on the door and Leo was in the water and he was doing his big speech about how she wasn't going to die there. Apparently he burst out laughing and couldn't stop. Pissed off the whole crowd.

//man, almost wish I was there for that. Almost.

Yeah, my GF and I busted up laughing at that too, and the looks we got could have melted steel...


I started snickering at the Circle of Liiiiife scene in Avatar and got the laser dagger death eyes from my son.

James Cameron tickles my funny bone.
 
2014-01-20 02:09:55 PM  

SewerSquirrels: I'm not a huge fan of the movie, but what really sucked was hearing that dammed Celine Dion song play 50 times a day for something like 2 years at work. That, my friends, that is what drove me to madness.
[www.saintvespaluus.com image 400x255]


Oh, didn't you know?
When you make an "epic" Hollywood disaster movie about a ship at sea, you must include the most obnoxious song you can and payola a lot to make sure it is rotated heavily on the American Public until they are seasick of it even before seeing the inevitable steaming pile.
This is known and the "Poseidon effect".
 
2014-01-20 02:15:33 PM  
FTA: "The only mystery that remains now is who was Helen Kramer."

So DNA tests have solved the next-to-last mystery.
 
2014-01-20 02:17:05 PM  

tonguedepressor: MLWS: I thought we all agreed it was for Kate Winslet's ta-ta's?

Between that and the spec fx it was a worthwhile watch.


I love the movie, but the special effects are all over the map. Some are absolutely convincing while others like the initial pan over the front deck with laughably wooden models of people walking are terrible.

/I noticed they changed that scene in the 3D re-release. Money well spent...it's a blemish on an otherwise great film
 
2014-01-20 02:33:31 PM  

WelldeadLink: FTA: "The only mystery that remains now is who was Helen Kramer."

So DNA tests have solved the next-to-last mystery.


Jiminy Crickets! Doesn't anybody remember The Miracle Worker? Wawa! Wawa! Come on people, get with the program!
 
2014-01-20 02:37:38 PM  
The movie version sucked. The original book was much better.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-20 02:38:17 PM  

Sinbox: Cheron: Rapmaster2000: Never saw it and was a bone of contention with my girlfriend at the time. I was just uninterested. I already know how it ends. Same with Passion of the Christ. Spoiler: Jesus dies at the end.

How about a spoiler warning

You jest. However, I had a visibly drunk father of a pre-adolescent girl angrily (but not loudly) attempt to engage me in fisticuffs because he overheard me make mention of the fact the Titanic sinks whilst we all were at the concession stand on opening weekend of this.

She and her sober mother talked him down and the girl was visibly embarrassed. She told me she was sorry as they walked away and entered

3 hours later, I thought to myself as I was walking to my car, "Y'know, getting in a fight and possibly getting detained/questioned by the cops would very probably would have been a better use of my time."


Its amazing how many people didn't know that it was loosely based on an actual event. Coming out of a different movie, I ran up to a bunch of teenage girls who looked like they stepped off an assembly line, all waiting to see this failsauce abomination, and yelled "THE BOAT SINKS!" They were all "NOOO DON'T TELL US THE ENDING!"

My sisters talked me into giving the movie a try some years later, because apparently no one is allowed to judge a movie without watching it. I gave up halfway through, realizing that I can damn well judge a movie without having seen it. I knew it was gonna be boring and poorly put-together before the cassette hit the VCR.
 
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