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(Seven Days)   Here's a nice little article about how restaurants cope with your made up allergies, you fragile snowflakes   (7dvt.com) divider line 39
    More: Interesting, food allergies, Michael Werneke, Bill McKibben, allergies, religious intolerance, celiac disease, Fletcher Allen Health Care, gluten allergy  
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15176 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2014 at 12:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-20 12:51:20 PM  
8 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-20 01:21:07 PM  
6 votes:
i41.tinypic.com
2014-01-20 12:43:12 PM  
5 votes:
Food allergies are the eraser on the end of God's pencil.
2014-01-20 01:11:51 PM  
4 votes:
memecrunch.com
2014-01-20 12:53:24 PM  
4 votes:

Far Cough: DRTA -- is the answer "they lie"?

<snip>

You know who sucks?  Applebee's sucks.  Their vegetarian option is NOTHING.  And it's not as if they make up for it by offering great meat and fish.


Georgio - The owner and head chef at D1vwife's favorite restaurant - has been known to fill a mixing bowl full of steamed spinach and place it with great ceremony in front of anyone who dares to ask for a vegetarian dish in his restaurant.  I've seen him do it twice now and it is hilarious to watch.

/try the veal.
//no, seriously, try it.  It is awesome.
2014-01-20 01:05:44 PM  
3 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Fark that. Here's the deal: I pay, and you serve me what I ordered.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdIXrF34Bz0

Bobby: I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

Waitress: A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Bobby: Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven't broken any rules.

Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

Bobby: I want you to hold it between your knees.
2014-01-20 12:45:18 PM  
3 votes:
I'm getting to the point now that when I hear the word "gluten" I want to kill someone.
2014-01-20 09:45:03 PM  
2 votes:
i422.photobucket.com
2014-01-20 12:42:35 PM  
2 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Fark that. Here's the deal: I pay, and you serve me what I ordered off of the menu.


FTFY and the douches in TFA.
2014-01-20 12:35:23 PM  
2 votes:
My avocado allergy can honestly kill me and I carry an epipen, so I'm pretty sure it's not made up.

I am a fragile snowflake though.
2014-01-21 12:42:57 PM  
1 votes:

glmorrs1: aleister_greynight: glmorrs1: inglixthemad: Inquisitive Inquisitor: My avocado allergy can honestly kill me and I carry an epipen, so I'm pretty sure it's not made up.

I am a fragile snowflake though.

At least you have a real reaction. My cousin just got elected to the school board with three other parents. The newest initiative: You have to bring in medical documentation of an allergy.

Why? Things were getting out of farking hand. You won't believe how the 3 parents (who promptly whined) whose kids supposedly have food allergies reacted. 'Take our kids to the doctor? Verify that they have an actual allergy? Forsooth!'

/EMT, know what I'm talking about
//Don't have an epipen because my service has shiatty insurance that I'm still not yet eligible for

Although you make a valid point; I feel the need to play devil's advocate, and call shenanigans on you being an EMT.  I mean seriously, an EMT claiming not to have an epipen, is like an office worker claiming they don't take home staples or stationary.  I know they cost more like $100; I also know, from experience, that nurses can acquire them for personal use.  How much easier, for some who works with medical emergencies!  I believe severe allergic reactions, generally fall under that category...

I mean, do you want my registry number? Yeah, the epipen is only about $100, but you do have to have a prescription and that requires a doctors visit and allergen test which are considerably higher. And did you miss the part where I said I don't qualify for the company insurance yet?

And yes, I can acquire one for my jump bag, but again I need a prescription. Now, that I can get from our Medical Director, but he's really a hard ass about doing that for EMTs, even intermediates like myself. He says he's worried about us freelancing in our time off. (Lol, what time off?) but nurses and paramedics? They barely have to ask to get stuff.


How does an EMT freelance? Does he write ECNALUBMA in electric tape on the hood of his econoline and yell "wooooowoooooowoooooo" out the driver's window while speeding?
2014-01-20 06:05:01 PM  
1 votes:
The waiters and cooks put their peckers into the clam chowder, don't they?
2014-01-20 05:12:28 PM  
1 votes:
Buttknuckle:
Okay, I lol'ed.  I think you might be an alcoholic if you are risking your ability to breathe

You sound just like the ER doctor
2014-01-20 02:51:05 PM  
1 votes:

Bruce the Deuce: FrancoFile: Bruce the Deuce: Bruce the Deuce: FrancoFile: Bruce the Deuce: Anybody ever consider that it's the gluten that has changed?

My boy has problems with it (among other things) and guess what? We don't go to restaurants.

The food is better at home, a lot of which is grown in the back yard.

That's like saying "Anybody ever considered that it's the nitrogen that has changed?"

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/modern-whe at-a-perfect-chronic-poison-doct or-says/

Hope this link works.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/modern-whe at-a-perfect-chronic-poison-doct or-says/

The "Wheat Belly" doctor is a crank and a fraud.

Say what you want but my boy was adversely affected by gluten. Stopped gluten. Got a different, much improved child.

All the medical professionals we saw pushed drugs as a solution. All poo-pooed diet change. Drugs didn't work. Diet change did.

Your results may vary.


Yeah, that's fine and dandy, and I'm glad you found a solution and that your kid is healthy now.

Your son had a problem.  The entire global wheat crop does not have a problem.
2014-01-20 02:48:28 PM  
1 votes:

Far Cough: baconbeard: Skyd1v: Far Cough: DRTA -- is the answer "they lie"?

<snip>

You know who sucks?  Applebee's sucks.  Their vegetarian option is NOTHING.  And it's not as if they make up for it by offering great meat and fish.

Georgio - The owner and head chef at D1vwife's favorite restaurant - has been known to fill a mixing bowl full of steamed spinach and place it with great ceremony in front of anyone who dares to ask for a vegetarian dish in his restaurant.  I've seen him do it twice now and it is hilarious to watch.

/try the veal.
//no, seriously, try it.  It is awesome.

That's awesome! A bowl of freshly clipped Kentucky blue-grass would be even better.

So Georgio is a dickbag then. God forbid a group of friends or family enjoy his restaurant if one member of the group doesn't eat meat.  Put some actual seasoning on the spinach, fine, that's a dish.  No reason to be a humongous dickbag about it and serve something purposely flavorless to say fark you to a paying customer.  Some "chef".


Yes, yes he is.  He won't deny it or try to hide it either.  He's about as mean as you can imagine a 70 year old Sicilian man can get.

But his food ranges from "Really GD good" to "This is the best thing I have ever or shall ever eat in my life" so he's able to get away with his Soup Nazi tomfoolery.
2014-01-20 02:26:19 PM  
1 votes:

Cyno01: pute kisses like a man: I rarely think of gluten.  it's not in a lot of foods.  have an animal, some vegetables, and maybe some fruit somewhere.  you have satisfied 3 elemental groups: soul, earth, and air (since fruits are generally in trees and fall).  you might even get some water with your soul by eating fish (was going to make a joke, like sole).  then fire is all in the heat.all 5 elemental groups can be covered without ever getting any gluten./ yes, i follow an elemental diet.  and yes, soul is very important.

[0.tqn.com image 300x200]


that picture is terrifying.

the elemental diet started as a joke.  and it still is a joke.  i was talking about pitre dish grown slabs of meat with a vegan friend, and she asked if i would give up eating dead animals if pitre dish meat tasted as good.

i said, while it would be very interesting... taste is not all that I look for.  i like to know that my food had a soul.

i made this comment as a joke, and we all laughed, though, with the wrong delivery, i see perfectly that it's an asshole thing to say to a sympathetic vegan.  however, my delivery was kind and goofy, not cruel and offhand.  so, it was a funny thing to say.  however, immediately thereafter, i started picturing the food groups of the 5 elements or the 5 kids from captain planet, and decided to create the fictional elemental diet... just in case i have to defend meat eating to vegans on the internet.

/ since, there are a million retarded diets, might as well add a new retarded diet to the mix.
2014-01-20 02:18:36 PM  
1 votes:

pute kisses like a man: I rarely think of gluten.  it's not in a lot of foods.  have an animal, some vegetables, and maybe some fruit somewhere.  you have satisfied 3 elemental groups: soul, earth, and air (since fruits are generally in trees and fall).  you might even get some water with your soul by eating fish (was going to make a joke, like sole).  then fire is all in the heat.all 5 elemental groups can be covered without ever getting any gluten./ yes, i follow an elemental diet.  and yes, soul is very important.


0.tqn.com
2014-01-20 02:13:51 PM  
1 votes:
static4.wikia.nocookie.net

Didn't read the thread
2014-01-20 02:10:05 PM  
1 votes:
"The number of people who have a food allergy is growing, but there is no clear answer as to why."

Because they are allowed to breed.
2014-01-20 01:44:05 PM  
1 votes:

Bruce the Deuce: Anybody ever consider that it's the gluten that has changed?

My boy has problems with it (among other things) and guess what? We don't go to restaurants.

The food is better at home, a lot of which is grown in the back yard.


That's like saying "Anybody ever considered that it's the nitrogen that has changed?"
2014-01-20 01:38:52 PM  
1 votes:
Not good enough for the average Mom with a fragile snowflake. She'd demand that the wait staff slap the dishes containing any traces of peanuts or whatever off the tables and demand the diners vacate the premises immediately, then demand that staff don HazMat suits and scrub every last square inch of everything before her Precious would step in through the front door.

Then she'll want a notarized document hand-written about how sorry they are for having such toxic items and will pledge their entire year's pay toward some idiotic allergy-survivor's group.

And if they don't comply 100%, she'll sue all their asses for being such insensitive bastards!!!!!!

/Nothing more asshole-ish than a Mother with an allergic child.
2014-01-20 01:37:11 PM  
1 votes:
I think it's all from the last couple generations who felt that they have to disinfect every single surface in the house. If you never are exposed to anything, how do you develop a tolerance to anything? Peanuts? When we were kids, every kid in the neighborhood practically Lived off of Peanut Butter. I never knew there was any Allergy to it till sometime in my 20's. Gluten? I don't even know what that is! When I was i a kid, you ate what was put on the table and that was that. If you turned up your nose at something, Tough, that's what everyone else is eating, are you Mr. Special or something? Some things I still won't eat today though. Mrs. Pauls fish sticks. I seem to remember I couldn't put enough ketchup on those SOB's! Spam, Mac & Cheese, cut up hot dogs in beans. Seems we ate on the Cheap a Lot when I was a kid. Dad liked Liver but the 1st and only time I ate that I thought I was gonna throw up right there at the table. Later in life my Mom said we didn't always eat cheap like that. Well how come I remember it so well?
2014-01-20 01:36:36 PM  
1 votes:
I am literally standing on line at a restaurant right now waiting for all hell to break loose...

I didn't ever want to be a cook. I have no formal cooking training. I kind of hate cooking. But by god...I'm great at it and everybody is going to be making moaning sounds around here in 10 minutes at how great this food is.

That being said, I take your allergies very seriously and am happy to sell you anything that you can eat.

That being said, I hate hearing about what kinds of foods adults dislike. Grow the fark up and manage your lives...I'm not your doctor or personal trainer or crystal medicine shaman or your Mom or your...
2014-01-20 01:30:23 PM  
1 votes:
Why not put up a big sign; "*Allergen Customized for only $20.00 Extra on your order!"

Right in the front, in 12" high letters.
2014-01-20 01:13:15 PM  
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
of course not..... but maybe
2014-01-20 01:12:33 PM  
1 votes:
As the parent of a child that has bizarre "allergies"....dairy, garlic, and tree nuts...I will place a good amount of blame on the doctors/allergists.  So here's how all this starts...a baby, in due course, is introduced to table food.  The baby has a reaction to the food.  In my kid's case, it was quick development of hives.

First, we try to narrow things down ourselves...dairy was an easy one to figure out.  No idea why she still is breaking out, especially when there are no obvious allergens present (seriously...garlic?  who the #^&* is allergic to garlic?)

So now what? I'm not a doctor...nor is the wife.  So we get an appointment with an allergist and after various investigations and some testing, the results show "off the charts" reaction for dairy, garlic, and tree nuts.   Physically, when exposed to these things, hives quickly develop, but once contact is removed, they subside quickly.  Once, she accidently drank a whole cup of milk and the hives covered her face and chest for about an hour...that was the worst we ever saw.

We get a prescription for an epipen and the instructions not to give her those foods (duh).  I have no idea whether exposure would ever lead to a serious health issue...the allergist hasn't ever downplayed the risk, presumably because he would have some liability.  So the designation of allergy persists.  We hate it, but we have nothing to go on to downplay it to a 'sensitivity'.

We manage it mostly by making everything from scratch; we take some basic precautions at restaurants with regard to what we order for her, but no demands of separate grease or anything that crazy.
2014-01-20 01:06:12 PM  
1 votes:
Fark: BE AN INDIVIDUAL! BUT FARK YOU IF YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PEOPLE!
2014-01-20 01:00:50 PM  
1 votes:
"Lady at four is allergic to carrots, can you do some kale without the garnish?"
"I guess, but she had the consomme?!"
*shrug*
2014-01-20 12:59:26 PM  
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Fark that. Here's the deal: I pay, and you serve me what I ordered.


With that attitude, you are surely getting a little extra "something" in your food.
Bon apetit.
2014-01-20 12:56:22 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: "The number of people who have a food allergy is growing, but there is no clear answer as to why."

nyulocal.com

Everyone else is doing it?  Hell, statements like "the number of people who have a food allergy is growing," is partially responsible.  The number of people who claim to have a food allergy is growing.  That I'll believe.

Also FTFA: "I think some people come in with a food intolerance that they think is an allergy."

And guess what, ignorant people are also loud (I think of them as co-morbid disorders).  If you're insecure in your specialness, you're going to pitch a fit to prove how important it is (and how important you are).

Have a serious reaction?  Take it seriously.  You think you're allergic?  Experiment.  Quietly please.
2014-01-20 12:55:17 PM  
1 votes:
Eventually everyone will be allergic to everything.  It's a self-solving problem.
2014-01-20 12:55:06 PM  
1 votes:

mr_a: I really am allergic to shellfish, but mostly my interaction with restaurants is asking if there is shellfish in a dish, and ordering something else if there is.

The real problems are when I travel in Asia...there doesn't seem to be a word in most Asian languages for "shellfish". I actually have a little card that I carry, written in the native language, which explains the problem.


I'm sure your situation is real, and a risky allergy is no laughing matter.

Having said that, I still choose to imagine your card to be like the poorly translated chinese tattoos on sorority girls.

It actually says "Picky American. Just nod and smile then serve standard dish."
2014-01-20 12:52:05 PM  
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Fark that. Here's the deal: I pay, and you serve me what I ordered.


You sound like a self-entitled "dream customer."
2014-01-20 12:50:25 PM  
1 votes:

Inquisitive Inquisitor: My avocado allergy can honestly kill me and I carry an epipen, so I'm pretty sure it's not made up.

I am a fragile snowflake though.


At least you have a real reaction. My cousin just got elected to the school board with three other parents. The newest initiative: You have to bring in medical documentation of an allergy.

Why? Things were getting out of farking hand. You won't believe how the 3 parents (who promptly whined) whose kids supposedly have food allergies reacted. 'Take our kids to the doctor? Verify that they have an actual allergy? Forsooth!'

The allergy card is played all too often today. I wonder how these kids survive trips to the grocery store sometimes. 'Little Tommy has a nut allergy' while mom walks right by a display of peanuts somebody is scooping out into a bag. 'Little Janie is allergic to wheat.' as mom walks by the bakery where wheat flour is in the air.

FFS! There are people with legitimate allergies that are marginalized because you think your precious snowflake might be allergic because you fed them something and it didn't sit well in their tummy. You think the kid is allergic to X product? Take them to the doctor and get the test done, otherwise let the other kids have their PB&J sandwiches and their wheat flour breads.

Not only that, but it'll stop the 'it doesn't agree with your kid's tummy' that parents think are allergies. I think the article used 'intolerance' in it. When you're lactose intolerant, it means you don't digest milk like many people can. Being in the vicinity of milk isn't deadly. Some people who think their kids have nut allergies? The kid's bodies just don't process nuts properly. There isn't a question the kid won't like it if they eat nuts, but they won't have an allergic (and life threatening) reaction to them.
2014-01-20 12:46:47 PM  
1 votes:
My favorite part was where they mentioned it is unknown what is causing all these allergies and sensitivities to suddenly pop up. I have a theory. We've been making the world TOO safe of a place. The weakest herd members are no longer being culled, on a wholesale level. To paraphrase Jeff Goldblum: natural selection uh, finds a way.
2014-01-20 12:40:09 PM  
1 votes:

Inquisitive Inquisitor: My avocado allergy can honestly kill me and I carry an epipen, so I'm pretty sure it's not made up.

I am a fragile snowflake though.


thedish.restaurant.com

You poor poor bastard. I'm so sorry for you.
2014-01-20 12:38:05 PM  
1 votes:
Submitter is soooo witty, saying food allergies are fake.
2014-01-20 12:36:04 PM  
1 votes:
Fark that. Here's the deal: I pay, and you serve me what I ordered.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-20 12:23:40 PM  
1 votes:
Though Prohibition Pig stops short of providing a dedicated gluten-free menu, it tries to guide special-needs diners by indicating 'V' beside vegetarian items and 'G' beside gluten-free items on the menu.

I have seen similar markings on menus around here for years and years. Maybe not always gluten-free, which is a new fashion, but vegetarian and vegan.
 
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