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(SeattlePI)   A North Texas man who paid $350,000 for the right to hunt an endangered African black rhino said he's had to hire full-time security due to death threats after his name was leaked onto the Internet   (seattlepi.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, North Texas, African, death threats, internet, black person  
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6587 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2014 at 9:29 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-19 07:27:10 PM  
14 votes:
From what I understand this individual is an asshole and probably past his reproductive prime and endangers others in the community and unsuited to live in peace with others.

Not so sure about the Rhino tho.
2014-01-19 04:47:12 PM  
14 votes:
He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"
2014-01-19 05:39:57 PM  
12 votes:
NewportBarGuy: I think he means to have sex with that large beast.

Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f**king charge your ass.
j_gurli13: stop, cmon be serious.
Bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
Bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli13: thats it.
Bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
Bloodninja: F**k am I hard now.
2014-01-19 04:39:14 PM  
7 votes:
I want to be intimately involved with a black rhino.

TMI, dude.
2014-01-19 09:03:13 PM  
6 votes:
Absolutely disgusting.  They're hunting this man like he's a defenseless animal.
2014-01-19 05:26:06 PM  
6 votes:
A North Texas man who paid $350,000 for the right to hunt an endangered African black rhino said he's had to hire full-time security due to death threats after his name was leaked onto the Internet

Those rhinos are a vengeful lot, aren't they?
2014-01-19 08:56:25 PM  
5 votes:
Look on the bright side: Because of the new security detail, this guy is now creating jobs and stimulating the economy. Instead of tax cuts for the rich I suggest we institute death threats for the rich. Boom. Guaranteed jobs.
2014-01-19 08:35:22 PM  
5 votes:
pbs.twimg.com
2014-01-19 08:25:45 PM  
5 votes:
This could be the basis of the action film franchise of the 21st Century.  We got this rugged man of action looking kill himself one of nature's most elusive animals.  Word gets out and PETA forms a team of ninja assassins who stalk the hunter over seven continents.  Will he emerge the ultimate prey and ultimate victor or will he meet a grisly end?  The only way out is ahead.  I'm thinking Stathan as the lead.  Give it the working title Hunter2Hunted.  Get me Weinstein on the horn, stat.  We gotta do lunch.
2014-01-19 08:26:57 PM  
4 votes:

fusillade762: Tellingthem: Oh come on and man up. I wouldn't expect anything less if i was doing something like this. People will say this kind of stuff for pretty much anything. I got death threats when I worked at a crappy college radio station.

I used to get death threats doing customer service for a pre-paid cell phone company.


Heh...ahh customer service. I also got them when I worked at a stores credit card department. I always wondered what people thought was going to happen? Oh sorry sir, I know that you're maxed out on your credit line but since you said you were going to come down here and "shoot me in the parking lot" it's been increased by 5,000 dollars. Enjoy the new bedroom set and have a great day!
2014-01-19 06:30:33 PM  
4 votes:
Be vewy, vewy quiet...

/We're hunting Elmers...
1.bp.blogspot.com
2014-01-19 10:36:43 PM  
3 votes:
Pussy

i41.tinypic.com
2014-01-19 09:44:58 PM  
3 votes:
I'm a white rhino, so I don't have to worry about this guy getting intimate with me.
2014-01-19 08:12:18 PM  
3 votes:

doglover: He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"


pbs.twimg.com

No, no no no... Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, "Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth to mouth." But instead, he just starts choking the shiat out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is he is squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet, blob of drool drips off his teeth and just "flurr", falls right onto your popped out eyeball...
2014-01-19 08:07:33 PM  
3 votes:

WTF Indeed: A man with 350k to blow on a hunting licence, but can't pass a basic middle school grammar test? I'm gonna call fake.


Texas.
2014-01-19 06:24:19 PM  
3 votes:

ultraholland: I want to experience a black rhino. I want to be intimately involved with a black rhino.

wow, dude.


My grandfather served in North Africa in World War II.  A few decades after the war, he took a trip back to see his old battlefields, and decided to do a tour of the whole continent, including a safari.

He had the opportunity to shoot a rhino.  Because they were rarely hunted by humans in that region (I don't recall where this was exactly), it wasn't scared of him, or his hunting party.  It just stared at him, casually grazing.  It didn't movie, it didn't threaten to charge.  It just stood there, staring and chewing.

He refused to shoot it, stating it would be "about as sporting as shooting a parked mini-van."
2014-01-19 04:46:28 PM  
3 votes:
I think he means to have sex with that large beast.
2014-01-19 04:40:59 PM  
3 votes:
I want to experience a black rhino. I want to be intimately involved with a black rhino.

wow, dude.
2014-01-20 01:10:23 AM  
2 votes:

doglover: He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"



i.imgur.com
2014-01-19 11:29:45 PM  
2 votes:
i56.tinypic.com
2014-01-19 10:40:28 PM  
2 votes:
My violin became so tiny that it formed into a tiny spacial anomaly.
2014-01-19 08:09:27 PM  
2 votes:

Tellingthem: Oh come on and man up. I wouldn't expect anything less if i was doing something like this. People will say this kind of stuff for pretty much anything. I got death threats when I worked at a crappy college radio station.


I used to get death threats doing customer service for a pre-paid cell phone company.
2014-01-19 04:50:36 PM  
2 votes:
Black Rhinos are endangered, douchebags aren't.
2014-01-19 04:48:55 PM  
2 votes:

doglover: He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"


Jesus.
2014-01-20 02:02:00 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: ecmoRandomNumbers: doglover: He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"

Jesus.

Animals are conscious beings. Just because they're tasty and you're ignorant doesn't mean that they're some kind of meat robot. They've each got moods, personalities, memories. Even hive insects of exceedingly uniform nature, like ants, have some variations and learn by experience.

So, they do indeed have a valid perspective of what hunting is like from their end. The only hunters I respect in the day of industrial slaughter houses and high powered rifles are sniper scouts, or "hunters of gunmen" as they dub themselves.

Anyone else is cheating because animals can't shoot back.


Yet, you don't feel like a douchebag mass murderer when you scrape all the dead insects off of the front bumper of your car while washing it, do you?
2014-01-20 01:20:48 AM  
1 vote:
doctorbulldog.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-20 12:03:01 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe now he knows how the rhino feels.

img.fark.net
2014-01-19 11:53:13 PM  
1 vote:
i224.photobucket.com

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it?
2014-01-19 11:20:09 PM  
1 vote:

Joe USer: What I learned from this thread:

Most people don't get the concept of herd management.


Because nature has no idea how to manage itself without human intervention. I mean, the world of animals only got by for milliions of years without humans "managing" the herds. It's a good thing we finally got off our asses and evolved so other species could benefit from our wisdom regarding who live and who dies, and how.
2014-01-19 11:18:10 PM  
1 vote:
Since we're going to kill criminals by death penalty anyway, why not sell tickets to pull the switch?
2014-01-19 11:14:35 PM  
1 vote:

kim jong-un: In all honesty, if the animal is of an endangered species and not of a breeding stock, it probably should be killed.  And if you can raise money by killing it, all the better.

If it's not breeding, then all it is doing is taking up resources which could be applied to keeping the breeding stock alive.


Curious how your grandchildren will treat you when you are grumpy and past your breeding age. All the best to you.
2014-01-19 11:09:31 PM  
1 vote:

Pribar: JK8Fan: bojon: Rhinos don't live forever folks. After they reach a certain age they do not procreate. $350K dedicated to saving the rest of the gene pool versus $0K if the animal just keels over and dies.

I think the issue is he is just paying to shoot the thing. He isn't really hunting it. Basically what will happen is guides will point at one and say "Shoot that one" and douchebag pulls the trigger. Then, he gets to tell all of his douchebag friends about his African hunting adventure - which in reality was just driving out in a Land Rover to where some Rhinos are standing around.

Meh look at it this way, jackoff is paying 350 K to do what they would have to pay someone to do soon (at least according to TFA) since the rhino in question is turning aggressive.


Yeah, well, there you go being realistic and pragmatic and stuff.  Way to read the article, man.  Nice going.  Didn't you get the memo?  We're supposed to rush to judgement based on not having facts or logic.  You must be new here.
2014-01-19 10:59:57 PM  
1 vote:
d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net
2014-01-19 10:56:28 PM  
1 vote:
We should look to the white, liberal, entitled 20 year old children who make up fark - you know, the ones who don't pay taxes, to answer this question.

Sent with my Ipad
2014-01-19 10:55:37 PM  
1 vote:

sno man: Hoban Washburne: doglover: So, they do indeed have a valid perspective of what hunting is like from their end. The only hunters I respect in the day of industrial slaughter houses and high powered rifles are sniper scouts, or "hunters of gunmen" as they dub themselves.

As someone who eats meat, I'm perfectly fine with "ethical hunting."  That is, hunting overpopulated (or at least not underpopulated) animals that would otherwise starve and eating and/or donating the meat.  A deer that gets killed in the wild has a much better life than a cow in a factory farm.  There is not really a "good death" in nature.  Animals usually die of starvation or getting eaten by other animals.  Being put down by a skilled hunter is probably one of the cleaner deaths possible for wild animals.  True fair chase deer stalking is actually very difficult and physically taxing.

The rhino is endangered and I seriously doubt this guy is planning to eat it, or that it will be a fair chase scenario.  I imagine he'll be driven by a guide in one of those safari jeeps, get relatively close, the rhino will be like "Ehh, whatever" because he's used to people in jeeps, and the guy will just shoot him.  That's a farking shiatty, cowardly thing to do.

You may personally be opposed to all types of hunting, but let's at least separate the reasonable from the ridiculous.

And as bojon pointed out this is a very specific hunt of a small number of post procreating animals with the proceeds of the lottery going to preservation efforts of the herd. I'm putting this on the reasonable side of that equation.


Nope. This is all about how hunters are evil and have 'micropenises' and shiat. Don't you dare inject logic or rationality into this.  WHY DO YOU HATE UNINFORMED HATRED??
2014-01-19 09:53:36 PM  
1 vote:

quatchi: Christ, what an asshole.


Stop picking on doglover
2014-01-19 09:44:28 PM  
1 vote:

Secret Agent X23: I want to be intimately involved with a black rhino.

TMI, dude.



You have a dirty mind. He just means like Ace Ventura:
www.tryredemption.com
2014-01-19 09:05:10 PM  
1 vote:
ken_ashford.typepad.com
2014-01-19 08:37:29 PM  
1 vote:
Micropenis...
2014-01-19 08:19:54 PM  
1 vote:

hardinparamedic: doglover: He's a hunter. fark him. He knows how the game works.

You're sitting at home, peacefully eating lunch with your family when BLAM a bullet rips out your lungs. You gasp uselessly as blood froths out of mouth and collapse. The last thing you see in your tunnel vision is your wife and children covered in your blood as you fall to the floor. A man in an orange vest kicks in your door and starts to decapitate you, because all he wanted was your head on his wall, but while your family is running away he takes a nice long look at your son and says "Soon, I'm coming back for him!"

[pbs.twimg.com image 500x500]

No, no no no... Like, a big sweaty fireman carries you out of a burning building, lays you on the sidewalk, and you think, "Yeah, okay, he's gonna give me mouth to mouth." But instead, he just starts choking the shiat out of you, and the last sensation that you feel before you die is he is squeezing your throat so hard that a big, wet, blob of drool drips off his teeth and just "flurr", falls right onto your popped out eyeball...


Sploosh!
2014-01-19 07:54:46 PM  
1 vote:
"They're wanting to kill me," he said. "They're wanting to kill my children. They're wanting to skin us alive."


Maybe you should use some of that blood money for remedial grammar lessons, you stupid farking yokel.
2014-01-19 06:55:41 PM  
1 vote:
Opposed to is a strong word. Nature is the process by which overwhelming force exploits weakness relentlessly. Can't blame the orb spider that the fly is just a defenseless juice pack on wings.

But humans don't have to hunt, and when they do they don't have to hunt endangered animals. Especially not megafauna. Megafauna serve a vital role in the food chain. Their feces are an important resource to all many of autotrophs and insects, which are the foundation of the whole chain. By killing off a single rhino, you've eliminated years of fertilizer leading to lower nutrition, less seed migration, fewer flies, and if they're around the dung beetles aren't gonna be happy. Everyone suffers.

Normally, this wouln't be a problem. But we're 10,000 years into a bad case of humans. Rhino levels are at an all time low and many megafauna species are extinct worldwide. Shooting a single rhino at this point is like punching a guy in the ICU in his arm. It might not kill him, might not even hurt him, but it's ain't gonna help nobody.

If you want to hunt, get a machette and go clear out the pythons from the Everglades. Pile the nutria to the moon. Get an underwater submersible and use it to spear every asian carp near the great lakes. But don't shoot a rhino. Every rhino is helping. Want to experience one? Bring a camera, not a rifle.
2014-01-19 04:57:18 PM  
1 vote:
media.tumblr.com
 
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