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(Gothamist)   "Yeah, sucks that your kid got killed three months ago, but that roadside memorial is an eyesore and needs to go"   (gothamist.com) divider line 316
    More: Asinine, roadside memorial, 3rd Street, Park Slope  
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11120 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2014 at 11:41 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-19 09:34:15 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com


/You want to create a memorial to your kid, do it somewhere it's out of the way or at least with something that ain't gonna blow all over the goddamned street or rot away
//better yet create a memorial fund to start teaching kids to look both ways before going into the street rather than try to slow everybody down to a snail's crawl.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 09:42:39 AM
Every time Gothamist rants about speeders I put a bullet in a bicyclist.

Just kidding, but I should probably start.
 
2014-01-19 10:13:44 AM

img.fark.net

 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 10:17:15 AM
Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.
 
2014-01-19 10:23:47 AM

twistedmetal: [img.fark.net image 500x331]


i1214.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-19 10:26:25 AM
Shouldn't the woman (biatch) in question at least have tried to work the removal of the memorial through the Streets or Parks Department (according to some of the comments to the article the site is adjacent or part of a city park) before she took it upon herself to remove it?  Her comment to the person who tried to stop her from removing material was insensitive to the extreme (there' been enough time for mourning) and deserving of a swift smack up alongside her ignorant head.

We've all seen these roadside memorials all over the country.  Most of us pass by them without giving them much thought.  However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.  Eventually, the people who felt the loss the deepest will have moved on to the point they no longer need that special spot to do their grieving and a road crew quietly shows up to remove all the materials.
 
2014-01-19 10:27:46 AM

jbc: Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.


Nice to see you're using your psychic powers to articulate what the dead have to say.
 
2014-01-19 10:29:45 AM

jbc: Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.


Hey! I loved my grandmother! And if you can think of a better way to show that than a tattered, cut-vinyl "RIP Grammy, 1965-2013" sticker on the back of my POS mid-90's Civic I'd like to hear it!
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 10:33:50 AM

Prey4reign: Shouldn't the woman (biatch) in question at least have tried to work the removal of the memorial through the Streets or Parks Department (according to some of the comments to the article the site is adjacent or part of a city park) before she took it upon herself to remove it?  Her comment to the person who tried to stop her from removing material was insensitive to the extreme (there' been enough time for mourning) and deserving of a swift smack up alongside her ignorant head.

We've all seen these roadside memorials all over the country.  Most of us pass by them without giving them much thought.  However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.  Eventually, the people who felt the loss the deepest will have moved on to the point they no longer need that special spot to do their grieving and a road crew quietly shows up to remove all the materials.


Nice to see you're using your psychic powers to articulate how the living feel about litter.

Also nice of you to condemn a woman for being bootstrappy instead of asking the government to fix a problem.
 
2014-01-19 10:44:14 AM

Prey4reign: Shouldn't the woman (biatch) in question at least have tried to work the removal of the memorial through the Streets or Parks Department (according to some of the comments to the article the site is adjacent or part of a city park) before she took it upon herself to remove it?  Her comment to the person who tried to stop her from removing material was insensitive to the extreme (there' been enough time for mourning) and deserving of a swift smack up alongside her ignorant head.

We've all seen these roadside memorials all over the country.  Most of us pass by them without giving them much thought.  However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.  Eventually, the people who felt the loss the deepest will have moved on to the point they no longer need that special spot to do their grieving and a road crew quietly shows up to remove all the materials.


There was a cross made from white PVC and adorned with cheap hardware store stick-on letters that used to be a block from my house. It was there for at least 7 years (it was there when I moved here) before the county removed it during some shoulder maintenance.

Two days afterwards, the phone pole right next to where the cross stood was painted bright pink to the height at which one could reach with a paintbrush while standing on the ground.

You know where your loved one died. Not having a distracting pile of litter there isn't going to make you forget it. The rest of us don't care. You need to let go, get on with your life and grieve in a more healthy manner.
 
2014-01-19 10:58:33 AM
I started a project to photograph and document roadside memorials around this area, where they're unfortunately common due to rough, winding rural/mountain roads

/then the computer I had it all stored on cratered and I never got back to it
//think I'll see if I can find my notes...
 
2014-01-19 10:59:53 AM
Around here these "memorials" stay up for years, I'm guessing until the county gets tired of seeing one on every street corner. Yeah it sucks someone died, but "please drive safe" signs when your kid dies from texting and hitting a garbage truck - needs to really GO after a few months (happened here and the memorial has been up for a few years).

I mean they make cemeteries, give him a proper burial and then decorate the grave....
 
2014-01-19 11:03:23 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: twistedmetal: [img.fark.net image 500x331]

[i1214.photobucket.com image 238x179]


persephonemagazine.com
 
2014-01-19 11:05:38 AM

Gecko Gingrich: You know where your loved one died. Not having a distracting pile of litter there isn't going to make you forget it. The rest of us don't care. You need to let go, get on with your life and grieve in a more healthy manner.


This.

There's still a cross down the road from my mom's house where a kid with whom I went to high school wrapped himself around a tree while driving drunk. 22 years ago.
 
2014-01-19 11:28:45 AM
arguing that doing so is in keeping with Mayor de Blasio's goal of eliminating traffic fatalities by 2024

That's, optimistic.  What's he going to do, take everyone's cars away?
 
2014-01-19 11:33:15 AM

jbc: Prey4reign: Shouldn't the woman (biatch) in question at least have tried to work the removal of the memorial through the Streets or Parks Department (according to some of the comments to the article the site is adjacent or part of a city park) before she took it upon herself to remove it?  Her comment to the person who tried to stop her from removing material was insensitive to the extreme (there' been enough time for mourning) and deserving of a swift smack up alongside her ignorant head.

We've all seen these roadside memorials all over the country.  Most of us pass by them without giving them much thought.  However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.  Eventually, the people who felt the loss the deepest will have moved on to the point they no longer need that special spot to do their grieving and a road crew quietly shows up to remove all the materials.

Nice to see you're using your psychic powers to articulate how the living feel about litter.


Yes, I'm astounded by my psychic powers.  I've managed to correctly predict 911, the real estate bubble, the great recession, the election of Bush and then Obama, the deaths of my hamsters and pet bunnies.  You can subscribe to my newsletter at futuretimesfortold.com.

Also nice of you to condemn a woman for being bootstrappy instead of asking the government to fix a problem.

Condemn a bootstrappy woman?  Never.  Condemn a meddling, obnoxious busybody (mob)?  You betcha.  If you read the article, the parents of the kid who was memorialized live right across the street from the memorial, and just imagine the scene had the father or mother of the dead kid been the one who confronted the meddling, obnoxious busybody and were told they had had enough time to mourn the loss of their son in the opinion of the meddling, obnoxious busybody.  I don't know, maybe aggravated assault or attempted murder charges might have been in order.  At the very least, had the parents been capable of controlling their emotions, somebody might have referred to the law in an instance such as this and pointed out that it is the responsibility of the Streets or Parks Department to remove such memorials and would they stop being a meddling, obnoxious busybody.
 
2014-01-19 11:39:58 AM

WELCOME TO FARK PARK?


nikkigsblog.files.wordpress.com

 
2014-01-19 11:45:31 AM
There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway...
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know

DOT will be back to get the other three in just a bit.
 
2014-01-19 11:46:43 AM

Gecko Gingrich: Prey4reign: Shouldn't the woman (biatch) in question at least have tried to work the removal of the memorial through the Streets or Parks Department (according to some of the comments to the article the site is adjacent or part of a city park) before she took it upon herself to remove it?  Her comment to the person who tried to stop her from removing material was insensitive to the extreme (there' been enough time for mourning) and deserving of a swift smack up alongside her ignorant head.

We've all seen these roadside memorials all over the country.  Most of us pass by them without giving them much thought.  However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.  Eventually, the people who felt the loss the deepest will have moved on to the point they no longer need that special spot to do their grieving and a road crew quietly shows up to remove all the materials.

There was a cross made from white PVC and adorned with cheap hardware store stick-on letters that used to be a block from my house. It was there for at least 7 years (it was there when I moved here) before the county removed it during some shoulder maintenance.


Seven years seems a bit too long, however, the roadside memorial you pointed too didn't seem quite the magnitude of the piles of flowers, posters and soft, furry, stuffed bunny rabbits which many of these roadside memorials seem to become.  Just wondering did the white PVC cross cause any accidents during the seven year span?  Did you, or any of the neighbors make a bootstrappy attempt to remove it.  If not, it sounds like you agree with my main point that the meddling, obnoxious busybody wasn't appointed to become the Roadside Memorial Gestapo and had no right to tell anyone that the mourning period was officially over.

Two days afterwards, the phone pole right next to where the cross stood was painted bright pink to the height at which one could reach with a paintbrush while standing on the ground.

I don't know, maybe contacting the phone company or streets or transportation department to have somebody paint over the pink painting might be in order.  Failing that, I doubt that a partially painted pink telephone pole would cause any more accidents than the white PVC cross did.

You know where your loved one died. Not having a distracting pile of litter there isn't going to make you forget it. The rest of us don't care. You need to let go, get on with your life and grieve in a more healthy manner.

I quite agree.  I have never built or contributed to any of these roadside memorials and the healthiest thing is for people to, as you say, "go, get on with your life."  But, some people are incapable of coming to grips with the loss of a loved one, especially a child killed needlessly in an auto accident.  Some of them never will.
 
2014-01-19 11:46:57 AM
If there was only some place where people could pay their respects, like a large home that displays the body.  And afterwards, if there were only someplace that was dedicated to mourning the dead, with granite markers, that loved ones could grieve with others.

And what happens if someone else gets killed at the same corner, you have dueling roadside memorials.


/If it was on my property, I'd throw out the crap as well
 
2014-01-19 11:48:28 AM
Remember those you have lost at their grave. Do not cause more accidents with a roadside distraction.
 
2014-01-19 11:48:46 AM

Prey4reign: However, they do give people who are in mourning at the loss of a loved one a focal point to do their grieving.


I thought that was what a graveyard was for.

That said, this woman is a horrible person for at least not working with the family or parks department to either have it taken down or moved.
 
2014-01-19 11:48:52 AM

Gunderson: If there was only some place where people could pay their respects, like a large home that displays the body.  And afterwards, if there were only someplace that was dedicated to mourning the dead, with granite markers, that loved ones could grieve with others.

And what happens if someone else gets killed at the same corner, you have dueling roadside memorials.


/If it was on my property, I'd throw out the crap as well


The problem was that the memorial wasn't on private property; it was adjacent to a park and therefore, the responsibility of the Parks or Streets Department to remove.
 
2014-01-19 11:49:03 AM
While the litter might represent a focal point for someone, it's still litter, As others have said, use the cemetery, plant a tree and place a plaque or create a scholarship. It's actually kind of creepy to focus on the scene of death.
 
2014-01-19 11:50:03 AM

jbc: Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.

 
2014-01-19 11:50:28 AM
Because nothing honors the memory of a loved-one like a rotting stuffed animal.

I'd support the family working with the city to put up a plaque -- and I'd argue the city should be in favor of this because it helps remind people that there are consequences to reckless driving.
 
2014-01-19 11:50:51 AM
There are ALREADY untold spaces for memorials for the dead, the killed, the tragic or accidental deaths, the murdered etc. Places where memories of the dead can be shared, explored, contemplated. They're called graveyards.

Unless you are BURIED on the side of the road where your car hit, then move your memorabilia to where it belongs - the graveside.
 
2014-01-19 11:51:20 AM
Sorry, but three months?
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
Or at least get it out of the public eye.
 
2014-01-19 11:52:43 AM

Gecko Gingrich: jbc: Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.

Hey! I loved my grandmother! And if you can think of a better way to show that than a tattered, cut-vinyl "RIP Grammy, 1965-2013" sticker on the back of my POS mid-90's Civic I'd like to hear it!


No no, it's always "In Loving Memory of", never RIP.
 
2014-01-19 11:53:43 AM
Ah, New York, asshole capitol of the world.
 
2014-01-19 11:53:59 AM
thumbs.dreamstime.com


Now THIS is how you troll the overly ghoulish death site memorials.
 
2014-01-19 11:54:15 AM
So did the woman commit a crime by doing this?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 11:54:54 AM
Seen fleeing the scene.

images.starpulse.com
 
2014-01-19 11:55:10 AM
Shrines to the dead are nothing new, but in most cultures they're done either as a communal effort on public property for all to use, or they're private affairs on private property.

Personal shrines to the dead on public property or property that doesn't belong to you is a bad idea.  You have my sympathies, but if you feel that strongly about it, then build a shrine to your lost ones in your backyard or in a small side room of your home.
 
2014-01-19 11:55:58 AM
Why do I have a weird feeling that the cross memorials on the side of the road where someone died is more of a "lets use this death as an excuse to be able to put my Christian religion's symbol on public property", than an actual memorial to that person's memory. An actual memorial to their memory would be a grave site, and you as a family remembering how they lived (maybe even have an archive of mementos to remember them by). You don't see people of other religions putting their religious symbol up on the side of the road to memorialize the person after the collision.
 
2014-01-19 11:57:41 AM
We use to stop at one in cambodia about 1/2way to the sea to burn some stuff drink some water at the mountain pass . They say the red khmer killed and pushed few person over the side the time .
 
2014-01-19 11:58:07 AM
We get it. Someone you love is now dead and you NEED to let everyone know about it for months or years on end. Yeah, that's healthy.
 
2014-01-19 11:58:38 AM
She should have just removed it by driving her car through it.

Too soon?
 
2014-01-19 11:58:51 AM
I hate them. They are creepy and distracting. Although when there's a bunch in one spot, it does make me think this might be a dangerous stretch of road.
 
2014-01-19 11:58:51 AM

Hermione_Granger: There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway...
Why there's not four of them, now I guess we know

DOT will be back to get the other three in just a bit.


Thanks alot.  I had almost forgotten the Great Country Glurge Wars of the'00s.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 11:58:52 AM

Dicky B: Gecko Gingrich: jbc: Memorialize how the person lived, not how they died, Litterbugs. That crap doesn't belong in a right of way or on other people's property.

And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.

Hey! I loved my grandmother! And if you can think of a better way to show that than a tattered, cut-vinyl "RIP Grammy, 1965-2013" sticker on the back of my POS mid-90's Civic I'd like to hear it!

No no, it's always "In Loving Memory of", never RIP.


Some of the dumbasses use "RIP" so they can crank the Old English font up to 480 point or more.
 
2014-01-19 11:59:07 AM
Roadside memorials other than maybe a simple cross are a sign of people who can't deal with grief.  Yes, it is the ultimate suck that your loved one died on that road, but how does putting up a bunch of stuff that looks like hell in a week commemorate your loss?

Get these people into therapy already.
 
2014-01-19 11:59:13 AM

miss diminutive: Benevolent Misanthrope: twistedmetal: [img.fark.net image 500x331]

[i1214.photobucket.com image 238x179]

[persephonemagazine.com image 500x212]


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-19 11:59:37 AM
DNRTFA
DNRTFT

This roadside memorial shiat is a recent development.

Stop it. Stop it now.

And stop saying "Ahm Uhh Vick-Tim" with equal heavy emphasis on each syllable.

And stop piercing your baby's ears.
 
2014-01-19 12:00:50 PM
Until fark I didn't know so many people were opposed to these things. I barely notice them.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-19 12:01:21 PM
AngryDragon: She should have just removed it by driving her car through it.

I am amused when a speeding car takes out a speed limit sign meant to slow traffic. Kind of sad that the kid who went through the sign died, but irony is funny. And sad. And funny.
 
2014-01-19 12:01:56 PM

jbc: And while you're at it, stop putting their names on the back window of your car. If they could do anything about the tacky way you're treating their memory, they'd haunt your sorry asses.


I saw this the other day. Pickup truck back window, huge, ugly and tacky.
It occurred to me it was a cry for attention and sympathy.

We live in a nation of children. And by children I mean adults who act like children.
 
2014-01-19 12:02:03 PM

wildcardjack: miss diminutive: Benevolent Misanthrope: twistedmetal: [img.fark.net image 500x331]

[i1214.photobucket.com image 238x179]

[persephonemagazine.com image 500x212]

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x224]


iambrony.dget.cc

Dammit, now I want a milkshake...
 
2014-01-19 12:02:10 PM

AngryDragon: She should have just removed it by driving her car through it.

Too soon?


Perfect
 
2014-01-19 12:02:58 PM
I'm ok with roadside memorials. For one, it gives some comfort to those who have lost a loved one. For another, they remind us all, those with no connection to the departed, that there is a larger world out there outside of ourselves, a world of love, life and loss.
 
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