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(   Nurses have to deal with every jerkoff patient that shows up on their ward   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass, Washtenaw County, nurses, Security Service, hospitals  
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13994 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2014 at 11:42 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-19 05:51:12 AM  
3 votes:

Man_Without_A_Hat: Practicing ER nurse here. Ain't nothing new. Getting groped by elderly patients is also absurdly common.

/is a dude

The male insurgents we captured in Iraq used to beat it like circus monkeys in front of the female MPs, at the Detainee Holding Area in the Green Zone.  It got to the point where they didn't even react to the dudes wacking off.

One got tired of waiting on some guy to finish, so she could hand out bottled water to the rest of the guys in this temporarily holding pen.  She got too close, so he threw it in her face (ala Miggs).  She flinched slightly, but kept staring at him, without saying a word.  She then calmly reached down her pants, and proceeded to smear his face with menstrual blood.  She then nonchalantly finished passing out water while he screamed his head off.

/Probably a UL, but then again, some of the chicks were mean
2014-01-19 04:28:10 AM  
2 votes:
That always sucks.  You're trying to help someone and PIFF smacked in the chops.  Next thing you know there's 6'3" 250lb me pinning all 90lbs of some poor old crazy person (who is flipping out) to the bed or stretcher hollering for help so I don't get hit again or end up breaking fingers or wrists by accident.  Got my glasses broken once that way :/
2014-01-18 11:56:37 PM  
2 votes:
A friend of mines mother was a cardiac icu nurse. She said shiat like this happened A LOT. She said the easiest way to deal with it was to say, in a bored voice: "put it away I've got bigger at home" or to laugh and say "that's it? I'm surprised you'd show something that small". She said almost without fail it stopped them immediately. Apparently it happens a lot, especially with old men.
2014-01-19 09:57:36 AM  
1 vote:
Just mess up the foley insertion, after that old dirty man won't want you near his junk.
2014-01-19 02:34:37 AM  
1 vote:
This guy must be a real shiat head.  The only time I've seen stuff like this taken to the cops or even security is when the patient is a repeat customer who always does awful things.  Eventually they screw up enough that it's worth the hassle of doing the paperwork to not have to take care of them anymore.

This is also how I learned that spitting on people counts as assault.
2014-01-19 01:27:21 AM  
1 vote:
Read "What I've learned from my patients" It's considered a slow day if they only get one of these guys in the local ER.
/DocER on that forum is the attending at a Las Vegas ER. He sees a lot worse than this.
2014-01-19 01:18:18 AM  
1 vote:

haolegirl: Sorry, I work at a pet clinic.

Well there goes my boner.
2014-01-19 12:57:43 AM  
1 vote:

haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).


at least half the story is missing.
2014-01-19 12:27:11 AM  
1 vote:
I worked in healthcare - I just can't believe a nurse actually called the cops in the situation.

This happens so frequently - there comes a point when it's not even a shocking occurrence.

Must have been a public area, or most likely - guy wasn't a patient.
Not yet anyway...
2014-01-19 12:02:39 AM  
1 vote:
I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.
//dude's totes cray-cray
2014-01-18 11:51:24 PM  
1 vote:
They left out the only parts i cared about, nurse's age and photo.
2014-01-18 11:50:54 PM  
1 vote:
2014-01-18 11:48:07 PM  
1 vote:
There goes about 20 years of Penthouse Forum up in smoke.
2014-01-18 11:44:51 PM  
1 vote:
Displayed 14 of 14 comments

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