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(MLive.com)   Nurses have to deal with every jerkoff patient that shows up on their ward   (mlive.com) divider line 76
    More: Dumbass, Washtenaw County, nurses, Security Service, hospitals  
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13940 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2014 at 11:42 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-18 11:44:51 PM
i1.ytimg.com
approves.
 
2014-01-18 11:48:07 PM
There goes about 20 years of Penthouse Forum up in smoke.
 
2014-01-18 11:49:46 PM
Ah geeze dad! Not again?
 
2014-01-18 11:50:19 PM
Should have called the head nurse.
 
2014-01-18 11:50:54 PM
GARP!
 
2014-01-18 11:51:24 PM
They left out the only parts i cared about, nurse's age and photo.

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-18 11:51:43 PM
One of my last girlfriends was a nurse. A demon in the sack. Not super bright, though.

No, I don't really have a point.
 
2014-01-18 11:52:52 PM
What's his Fark handle?
 
2014-01-18 11:55:21 PM
Obviously the nurse wasn't a Michigan grad.

(No one can fap to that.)
 
2014-01-18 11:55:56 PM
img.fark.net
"The victim"
/what did she expect?
 
2014-01-18 11:56:37 PM
A friend of mines mother was a cardiac icu nurse. She said shiat like this happened A LOT. She said the easiest way to deal with it was to say, in a bored voice: "put it away I've got bigger at home" or to laugh and say "that's it? I'm surprised you'd show something that small". She said almost without fail it stopped them immediately. Apparently it happens a lot, especially with old men.
 
2014-01-19 12:00:46 AM
You mean she just stood/sat there and watched him masturbate?
 
2014-01-19 12:02:39 AM
I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.
//dude's totes cray-cray
 
2014-01-19 12:04:49 AM
data1.whicdn.com
 
2014-01-19 12:08:52 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-19 12:09:17 AM
LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).
 
2014-01-19 12:10:29 AM
Nurse Ratchet sucks...
 
2014-01-19 12:11:01 AM
He couldn't find Boston Market either.
 
2014-01-19 12:11:50 AM

glmorrs1: I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride.


How do you know it wasn't one 15-minute session with brief intermissions every 3 minutes to calm down a little? This is important stuff!
 
2014-01-19 12:15:46 AM

glmorrs1: I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.
//dude's totes cray-cray


ONLY 5 times? Amateur!
 
2014-01-19 12:17:28 AM
This is news? This is practically a daily thing on my wards
 
2014-01-19 12:19:10 AM
This is the nurse in question:


media.spokesman.com
 
2014-01-19 12:20:31 AM

steam_cannon: [img.fark.net image 269x278]


//thread
///beer run
 
2014-01-19 12:27:11 AM
I worked in healthcare - I just can't believe a nurse actually called the cops in the situation.

This happens so frequently - there comes a point when it's not even a shocking occurrence.

Must have been a public area, or most likely - guy wasn't a patient.
Not yet anyway...
 
2014-01-19 12:30:34 AM
Man, those whacky patients. Take your eye off them for a couple of secks and they get it up to all sorts of monkeyshines.
 
2014-01-19 12:33:16 AM
I work hospital security... yes this happens a lot.
 
2014-01-19 12:36:17 AM

glmorrs1: I have a patient that I transport on a pretty regular basis who likes to jack off in the back of the unit. One day he did it, no lie, five times in a 15 minute ride. Luckily he keeps it in his pants when he does it so there's no mess. Still decon the stretcher and back of the unit though.

/started turning the buckles on the straps upside down so he can't unbuckle himself.
//dude's totes cray-cray


Gag me with a spoon.
 
2014-01-19 12:36:34 AM
They've seen it all before.
 
2014-01-19 12:42:41 AM

rhiannon: Gag me with a spoon.


Kinky!
 
2014-01-19 12:45:43 AM
Based on the pr0n I've watched, that's the nurse's job, and pr0n wouldn't lie.
 
2014-01-19 12:46:02 AM

Fafai: rhiannon: Gag me with a spoon.

Kinky!


Solid, man.
 
2014-01-19 12:46:27 AM
The guy I'm seeing is a surgical tech and nursing student, so this is cracking me the hell up.

/Need to find a hospital gown...
//To wear backwards
 
2014-01-19 12:49:27 AM

Mister Buttons: They left out the only parts i cared about, nurse's age and photo.

[img.fark.net image 255x198]


Came for this, leaving sated

/just finished binge-watch all 99 episodes
//in hindsight, the Warners were actually dicks
 
x23
2014-01-19 12:57:43 AM

haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).


wat.

at least half the story is missing.
 
2014-01-19 01:04:30 AM

x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.


Sorry, I work at a pet clinic. Just had a 12 week old lab humping my arm last week...happens a lot!
 
2014-01-19 01:18:18 AM

haolegirl: Sorry, I work at a pet clinic.


Well there goes my boner.
 
2014-01-19 01:26:50 AM
images.fandango.com
 
2014-01-19 01:27:21 AM
Read "What I've learned from my patients" It's considered a slow day if they only get one of these guys in the local ER.
/DocER on that forum is the attending at a Las Vegas ER. He sees a lot worse than this.
 
2014-01-19 01:28:47 AM

Fafai: haolegirl: Sorry, I work at a pet clinic.

Well there goes my boner.


I agree. Someone should rewrite that story.
 
2014-01-19 01:51:12 AM
...and as with most professions, they can be twunts, they generally believe whatever a doctor tells em...but lots of them are jackholes
 
2014-01-19 01:53:14 AM
They're nurses. They drain boils and wipe asses for a living. Do you think this has the slightest effect on them?
 
2014-01-19 02:03:31 AM

symptomoftheuniverse: Fafai: haolegirl: Sorry, I work at a pet clinic.

Well there goes my boner.

I agree. Someone should rewrite that story.


Furry fan fiction? Ewwww!!
 
2014-01-19 02:06:30 AM

haolegirl: x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.

Sorry, I work at a pet clinic. Just had a 12 week old lab humping my arm last week...happens a lot!


I'll be in my crate ...
 
2014-01-19 02:29:03 AM
Practicing ER nurse here. Ain't nothing new. Getting groped by elderly patients is also absurdly common.

/is a dude
 
2014-01-19 02:34:37 AM
This guy must be a real shiat head.  The only time I've seen stuff like this taken to the cops or even security is when the patient is a repeat customer who always does awful things.  Eventually they screw up enough that it's worth the hassle of doing the paperwork to not have to take care of them anymore.

This is also how I learned that spitting on people counts as assault.
 
2014-01-19 02:39:07 AM

knbwhite: haolegirl: x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.

Sorry, I work at a pet clinic. Just had a 12 week old lab humping my arm last week...happens a lot!

I'll be in my crate ...


Good boy!
 
2014-01-19 02:44:28 AM

John's Long Mustache: spitting on people counts as assault.


Not if you get consent.
 
2014-01-19 02:46:18 AM

x23: haolegirl: LMAO, just now was shopping at a Bath n Bodyworks and ran into a lady who looked familiar. Turns out it was her dog who spent the entire exam licking my boob (thru my shirt!).

wat.

at least half the story is missing.


If it weren't for my horse I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
 
2014-01-19 03:29:00 AM
I went to the hospital with a broken foot and the nurse sucked me off and paid my bill in full.
OK, 2/3 of that story isn't true.
 
2014-01-19 03:42:45 AM
Couldn't she at least have "lent him a hand?" See the low-grade service Obama-care has brought us?
 
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