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(USA Today)   Forget drone delivery; now Amazon says it can ship packages before you even order them   (usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Amazon, delivery  
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5765 clicks; posted to Business » on 18 Jan 2014 at 10:25 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-18 07:20:04 PM  
What a coincidence, I just got my ASININE tag in the mail!
 
2014-01-18 07:31:52 PM  
Is this like those books they used to advertise on TV that if you ordered one, they'd just keep coming and coming and coming? Or is it like those record clubs?

10 records for a dollar!!!
And $18.98 apiece for the next 500
 
2014-01-18 07:32:03 PM  
Pre-retail?

Pretail?
 
2014-01-18 07:42:50 PM  

cryinoutloud: Is this like those books they used to advertise on TV that if you ordered one, they'd just keep coming and coming and coming? Or is it like those record clubs?


I think it's like on Netflix where they say, "Since you watched Breaking Bad, we think you'll like 2 Broke Girls" except they just go ahead and send you 2 Broke Girls before you order it.
 
2014-01-18 07:49:26 PM  

cryinoutloud: Is this like those books they used to advertise on TV that if you ordered one, they'd just keep coming and coming and coming? Or is it like those record clubs?

10 records for a dollar!!!
And $18.98 apiece for the next 500


The Columbia House or BMG selection of the month was automatically sent to you only if you didn't mail the card back in telling them to go fark themselves for another month.

And the selection of the month always sucked.

/Apparently, BMG bought Columbia House, and both are still around. Columbia House has shifted to DVDs, while BMG does CDs. Though it looks like BMG is only fulfiling orders for the 30 people left who haven't discovered the internet.
 
2014-01-18 07:56:40 PM  
I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.
 
2014-01-18 08:02:15 PM  

Mugato: cryinoutloud: Is this like those books they used to advertise on TV that if you ordered one, they'd just keep coming and coming and coming? Or is it like those record clubs?

I think it's like on Netflix where they say, "Since you watched Breaking Bad, we think you'll like 2 Broke Girls" except they just go ahead and send you 2 Broke Girls before you order it.


Or, for example I've started ordering water filters for my refrigerator from Amazon because they're kinda hard to find in stores. It doesn't take rocket surgery for them to know when it's time for me to replace it and ship one to a nearby warehouse.
 
2014-01-18 08:04:47 PM  
Why do I feel like Amazon is trolling us now?
 
2014-01-18 08:06:50 PM  

Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.


The only thing that did more for my CD collection than Columbia House was Napster.

/couldn't deal with BMG. They put that big white box on the back and farked up the cover art, while Columbia House didn't ruin the art at all.
 
2014-01-18 08:57:36 PM  
Instant delivery.  It arrives even before you order it.

/nah
 
2014-01-18 09:05:24 PM  
The law is pretty clear. If a company sends a product to a customer that didn't order it- that item is free.
 
2014-01-18 09:48:15 PM  
This is kind of a dumb article. It seems mostly about a patent. Patents don't mean shiat. The toxic and combative nature of our current patent system pretty much requires any large company to patent every single idea they ever have, no matter how unrealistic or how unlikely they are to use it. Additionally, it's not so much about shipping something to a customer before the customer orders it, but moving existing inventory to existing distribution centers or hubs that are closer to where the predicted orders will originate.

The rest is just fluff, kind of like that Amazon drone commercial that CBS did recently.
 
2014-01-18 10:29:05 PM  
So I will be getting  360ct Extendz  every other week?
 
2014-01-18 10:30:04 PM  

cryinoutloud: 10 records for a dollar!!!
And $18.98 apiece for the next 500


You only had to buy about 5 more at the regular price and there were other deals like "buy 1 and get 50% off the next one", so you could cancel after a few months and still get a good deal overall.

Confabulat: They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating.


I suppose that's an even better method, but I didn't have a cat.
 
2014-01-18 10:30:33 PM  
They patented that?  If that kind of thing can be patented, our system is farking farked.
 
2014-01-18 10:33:44 PM  

Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.


Hell, use kids, they can't be held liable for a "contract" being minors. HA!
 
2014-01-18 10:34:08 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Pre-retail?

Pretail?


www.ar15.com
 
2014-01-18 10:36:47 PM  

doyner: They patented that? If that kind of thing can be patented, our system is farking farked.


The system has been farking farked for a long time, for example US5443036 (1995).
 
2014-01-18 10:41:17 PM  
Fine. Let them ship it... If I don't order something and it shows up at my door, I am under no obligation to pay for, nor do I have to return it.

Maybe they'll "anticipate" that I'd like a gun safe.
 
2014-01-18 10:42:31 PM  

Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.


I enjoyed quite a bit of free pizza back before the credit card signup people at college started checking ID.
 
2014-01-18 10:44:08 PM  
I guess I'll go fill up my wish list with a bunch of stuff and hope they send me some of it for free.
 
2014-01-18 10:46:27 PM  

Ivo Shandor: doyner: They patented that? If that kind of thing can be patented, our system is farking farked.

The system has been farking farked for a long time, for example US5443036 (1995).


I find that extra funny because it technically wouldn't work the way they described. They referred to a laser as a "beam of invisible light". If it was invisible that would kind of defeat the entire purpose.
 
2014-01-18 10:51:32 PM  

BMFPitt: Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.

I enjoyed quite a bit of free pizza back before the credit card signup people at college started checking ID.


McLovin I presume.
 
2014-01-18 10:55:41 PM  
stream1.gifsoup.com

/instant packages
//they're in your mailbox before you even finish ordering
///and then will be now soon
 
2014-01-18 10:55:52 PM  
I wonder if they're aware that people frequently put stuff in their shopping cart and change their mind about ordering it.
 
2014-01-18 10:57:39 PM  
Isn't it against the law to ship something a person didn't order then charge them for it? In fact, that same law rules that if that happens, the item is free.
 
2014-01-18 10:58:47 PM  

Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.


Yeah, but I bet your cat's really pissed when his Visa card was declined.
 
2014-01-18 10:59:56 PM  

cyberspacedout: I wonder if they're aware that people frequently put stuff in their shopping cart and change their mind about ordering it.


Or that people look up stuff they have no interest in buying or even having if it was given to them just to see what the wierdest thing they can find is.
 
2014-01-18 11:01:46 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Isn't it against the law to ship something a person didn't order then charge them for it? In fact, that same law rules that if that happens, the item is free.


cyberspacedout: I wonder if they're aware that people frequently put stuff in their shopping cart and change their mind about ordering it.


The item is not shipped to you or charged to you, it's shipped to the nearest facility or possibly even on the truck. They assume you'll order it. If you do, it's already ready to go.
 
2014-01-18 11:02:17 PM  

Oldiron_79: BMFPitt: Confabulat: I used to abuse those CD clubs mercilessly. You didn't actually have to write a real name on those little cards you know, all the information they have is an address. They could send as many threatening postcards as they wanted, but it's not like they could ruin your cat's credit rating. Man I had a lot of CDs.

I enjoyed quite a bit of free pizza back before the credit card signup people at college started checking ID.

McLovin I presume.


I preferred to use obscure movie characters.
 
2014-01-18 11:10:20 PM  
I rather enjoyed the Guardians of the Galaxy bluray they sent me Friday.

/I am Groot never gets old
 
2014-01-18 11:19:09 PM  
Oh, hi, Frank. Say, we finally got that model D83 Swedish sure-grip suck machine that you ordered.
 
2014-01-18 11:30:44 PM  

doyner: They patented that?  If that kind of thing can be patented, our system is farking farked.


FTFY
 
2014-01-18 11:40:37 PM  
That sort of thing was problematic for food delivery for Alien and Predator...


/obscure?
 
2014-01-18 11:43:04 PM  

Mikey1969: Fine. Let them ship it... If I don't order something and it shows up at my door, I am under no obligation to pay for, nor do I have to return it.

Maybe they'll "anticipate" that I'd like a gun safe.


They can hold off on actually delivering it to you. I'm sure they can do all the steps except deliver it if you don't order it.

They will probably anticipate that 100 dudes in the area will want it and make 100 boxes and send it to the warehouse near you. When you order it, it will look like the warehouse close to you has one in stock and you get it really fast.
 
2014-01-18 11:45:40 PM  
I Know What You Need
 
2014-01-18 11:52:28 PM  

Fano: I Know What You Need


Nice... Just re-read that a few weeks ago.
 
2014-01-18 11:53:43 PM  
I could actually see this being helpful for certain things, like say preorders for a big game like GTA5 that's about to be released.
 
2014-01-18 11:53:53 PM  
I had a fake baby to get an extra 5% on my Subscribe & Shave orders. Thanks, lil Fortinbras Crudbucket III.
 
2014-01-18 11:54:30 PM  
I am an Amazon Marketplace Dealer. I welcome them a means to sell high margin items. If my $75 dvd has to go for $50 I will be disapointed.
 
2014-01-18 11:56:12 PM  

Crudbucket: I had a fake baby to get an extra 5% on my Subscribe & Shave orders. Thanks, lil Fortinbras Crudbucket III.


Damn you, autocorrect!

/although I do get razor blades and shaving cream
 
2014-01-18 11:57:21 PM  

mr0x: Mikey1969: Fine. Let them ship it... If I don't order something and it shows up at my door, I am under no obligation to pay for, nor do I have to return it.

Maybe they'll "anticipate" that I'd like a gun safe.

They can hold off on actually delivering it to you. I'm sure they can do all the steps except deliver it if you don't order it.

They will probably anticipate that 100 dudes in the area will want it and make 100 boxes and send it to the warehouse near you. When you order it, it will look like the warehouse close to you has one in stock and you get it really fast.


What would be really nice is if they'd make it so that every time I ordered through their company, I don't get a fraud notice from my Credit Union with in a week or so. I'm not kidding, I don't order much through them at all, and the 4 or 5 times I've used them have resulted in 3 or 4 calls front he CU because someone is trying to but something with my debit card info in Moose Balls, MN or Injured Groin, AL.

Of course, the joke is on the assholes who picked MY card to try and hijack...
 
2014-01-19 12:02:45 AM  
So, if the item you are going to order is sitting in a warehouse 30 miles away instead of in one on the other side of the country, how do they expect to justify the shipping charge? Or is that why they bounced free shipping from $25 to $35? To get you to order more stuff that is already pre-positioned for delivery to you.

/be even scarier if they joined forces with google
//and then changed their name to Weyland-Yutani
 
2014-01-19 12:06:08 AM  
Well they already ship packages I don't REMEMBER ordering, so this seems like a small step.

/thanks ambien
 
2014-01-19 12:11:49 AM  

Fano: I Know What You Need


It's slippery shoes, isn't it?
 
2014-01-19 12:20:15 AM  

GBmanNC: Well they already ship packages I don't REMEMBER ordering, so this seems like a small step.

/thanks ambien


So are you saying this Swedish made Penis Enlarger pump is not your's baby?
 
2014-01-19 12:31:42 AM  
Maybe they can send me reminders of things I need to order too. I don't remember I need to order cat food until my cat knocks over the storage bin and declares war on the catnip mice.
 
2014-01-19 12:32:50 AM  
To minimize the cost of unwanted returns, Amazon said it might consider giving customers discounts or even make the delivered item a gift.

Any unrequested merchandise they ship me is automatically considered to be a gift under law. I say go for it, Amazon!
 
2014-01-19 12:32:56 AM  
It sounds more like they are working on a more efficient warehousing system.


DigitalCoffee: So, if the item you are going to order is sitting in a warehouse 30 miles away instead of in one on the other side of the country, how do they expect to justify the shipping charge? Or is that why they bounced free shipping from $25 to $35? To get you to order more stuff that is already pre-positioned for delivery to you.


What's a shipping charge?
/amazon prime ftw
 
2014-01-19 12:39:05 AM  
Q: Do you have more than 3 cats?
A: OK, here's the "50 Shades of Grey" sequel
 
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