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(CNBC)   What does it say about you when you're pissed off that you only made $2,900,000,000.00 last quarter?   (cnbc.com) divider line 27
    More: Amusing, oil products, Royal Dutch Shell plc, profit warning  
•       •       •

3413 clicks; posted to Business » on 18 Jan 2014 at 5:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-01-18 01:28:42 PM  
It says your holdings should be nationalized.
Maybe name a Holiday for you.
We'll build a nice statue somewhere, uumm, OK?
 
2014-01-18 01:30:43 PM  
Time to fire you some poors to bump up those numbers again, right?
 
2014-01-18 01:56:24 PM  
To the average person it says "get ready: BOHICA."
 
2014-01-18 05:43:09 PM  
I've never figured out how to make more than 25 cents per quarter.
 
2014-01-18 05:47:15 PM  
Bad submitter-linking pages with force-play video makes the baby Jesus cry.
 
2014-01-18 05:50:54 PM  
Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard
 
2014-01-18 05:53:21 PM  
"Dammit, oil consumption is dropping and our profits are falling with them!"
"Hrm. Well, start another war in the Middle East."
"We tried that, but then Kerry had to say something reasonable and the Russians jumped on it to give the US a black eye."
"Ah, right. Bet they're feeling stupid now. Okay, suggestions?"
"Start a land war in Asia? That would get China using more -"
"No. Next suggestion."
"Sudan?"
"No oil there for us to take after. Next."
"Two words: The. Worm."
"... BRILLIANT!"
 
2014-01-18 05:54:09 PM  
Surely there must be more blood to be had from the downtrodden poor stones!
 
2014-01-18 06:06:28 PM  
Bring a bigger turnip press, STAT!
 
2014-01-18 06:07:03 PM  
"What does it say about you when you're pissed off that you only made $2,900,000,000.00 last quarter?"

Shell isn't pissed. The stock market analysts are. Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates. Lost track of how may times Apple made a ridiculous net profit that did not meet analysts' expectations so the stock went down.
 
2014-01-18 06:09:52 PM  

steamingpile: Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard


Pretty much this.

All aboard the rage train!
 
2014-01-18 06:12:26 PM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: steamingpile: Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard

Pretty much this.

All aboard the rage train!


Actually, earnings DO equal profits.

Definition of 'Earnings'

"The amount of profit that a company produces during a specific period, which is usually defined as a quarter (three calendar months) or a year. Earnings typically refer to after-tax net income.Ultimately, a business's earnings are the main determinant of its share price, because earnings and the circumstances relating to them can indicate whether the business will be profitable and successful in the long run."
 
2014-01-18 06:38:47 PM  

GrailOfThunder: Enormous-Schwanstucker: steamingpile: Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard

Pretty much this.

All aboard the rage train!

Actually, earnings DO equal profits.

Definition of 'Earnings'

"The amount of profit that a company produces during a specific period, which is usually defined as a quarter (three calendar months) or a year. Earnings typically refer to after-tax net income.Ultimately, a business's earnings are the main determinant of its share price, because earnings and the circumstances relating to them can indicate whether the business will be profitable and successful in the long run."


Well, sort of but thats too simplistic.

Earnings equal revenue minus the costs to produce whatever it is you sell.
Profits equal your total revenue minus total operating expenses.


Kinda beyond the scope of what I want to do right now. It's Saturday and my brain needs a break :)
 
2014-01-18 08:35:36 PM  
It means they're spreading that out over 3.4 billion shares in a hundred million retirement plans.
 
2014-01-18 11:57:34 PM  
If you were expecting x times that amount where x is greater than one.....   Ya I would be pissed especially when you are talking of large fractions of billions.
 
2014-01-19 01:14:57 AM  

Delta1212: I've never figured out how to make more than 25 cents per quarter.


You and your two bit jokes
 
2014-01-19 01:34:39 AM  

skinink: Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates


That needs to end. As does valuing stocks based purely on earnings.
 
2014-01-19 02:54:20 AM  
That you understand math and the concept of relative size?

/ take a business class subby.  or just use some damn common sense once in a while.
 
2014-01-19 02:57:38 AM  

WhyteRaven74: skinink: Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates

That needs to end. As does valuing stocks based purely on earnings.


What would we value them on?  Cuteness?

/ most analysts use a revenue growth valuation method at this point
// ACTUAL valuation is based on supply and demand.  period.  Very little to do with earnings.
 
2014-01-19 03:12:30 AM  
SEE!!! PEAK OIL IS HERE!!!

No wait, peak oil would lead to higher prices, not lower.
WTF?!!!
 
2014-01-19 03:56:28 AM  

WhyteRaven74: skinink: Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates

That needs to end. As does valuing stocks based purely on earnings.


Do tell us how you would end those things.
 
2014-01-19 05:14:13 AM  

DrPainMD: WhyteRaven74: skinink: Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates

That needs to end. As does valuing stocks based purely on earnings.

Do tell us how you would end those things.


increase taxes on short term gains to 50 or 90%
TADA
investment in stock will be long term and companies could in theory start acting that way

Also tax options on executives when they get the options, not when they execute them.
Treat them as income at face value, taxable that year at regular income rates.

WHOOPS, you got 20 million in options and owe taxes on them? OUCHY


/no, I dont really have answers, but there are a million things we could do better than what we are doing now.

an interesting book on the subject is ....
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608193381 

very easy read, pointers to data that backs up the points which are made
some pretty compelling arguments that free-market capitalism is bullshiat and robber barons all over again.
some simple ideas for what to do ... in the end, reverting to something more like what we had from the 50s to 79.

Funny how you can compare and contrast what has happened over the decades across countries and within countries. what CLEARLY WORKED and what CLEARLY did NOT WORK.

/cut taxes, smaller government!!!!! ROFL .... assholes destroying america with those simple words. all while claiming to save america.
 
2014-01-19 07:34:54 AM  

skinink: "What does it say about you when you're pissed off that you only made $2,900,000,000.00 last quarter?"

Shell isn't pissed. The stock market analysts are. Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates. Lost track of how may times Apple made a ridiculous net profit that did not meet analysts' expectations so the stock went down.


And that is what's wrong with our economy. Nobody is simply happy to make a profit
 
2014-01-19 10:57:06 AM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: GrailOfThunder: Enormous-Schwanstucker: steamingpile: Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard

Pretty much this.

All aboard the rage train!

Actually, earnings DO equal profits.

Definition of 'Earnings'

"The amount of profit that a company produces during a specific period, which is usually defined as a quarter (three calendar months) or a year. Earnings typically refer to after-tax net income.Ultimately, a business's earnings are the main determinant of its share price, because earnings and the circumstances relating to them can indicate whether the business will be profitable and successful in the long run."

Well, sort of but thats too simplistic.

Earnings equal revenue minus the costs to produce whatever it is you sell.
Profits equal your total revenue minus total operating expenses.


Kinda beyond the scope of what I want to do right now. It's Saturday and my brain needs a break :)


The definitely specifically says after-tax net income. What else modifies income besides operating expenses and taxes? (Dividends, I guess?). There's net income, which I would define as profit, and gross income, which is just revenue.

Seems to me net income is equivalent to your definition of earnings.
 
2014-01-19 01:36:49 PM  
What does it say about you when you're pissed off that you only made $2,900,000,000.00 last quarter

It says your shareholders -- which includes pension funds, retirees, investors trying to accumulate a nest egg, etc. -- are going to take a hit, so that's good, right? Screw those leeches.
 
2014-01-19 01:38:08 PM  

Niveras: Enormous-Schwanstucker: GrailOfThunder: Enormous-Schwanstucker: steamingpile: Earnings do not equal profits but it does make simpletons scream about the evil rich companies, so congrats submitard

Pretty much this.

All aboard the rage train!

Actually, earnings DO equal profits.

Definition of 'Earnings'

"The amount of profit that a company produces during a specific period, which is usually defined as a quarter (three calendar months) or a year. Earnings typically refer to after-tax net income.Ultimately, a business's earnings are the main determinant of its share price, because earnings and the circumstances relating to them can indicate whether the business will be profitable and successful in the long run."

Well, sort of but thats too simplistic.

Earnings equal revenue minus the costs to produce whatever it is you sell.
Profits equal your total revenue minus total operating expenses.


Kinda beyond the scope of what I want to do right now. It's Saturday and my brain needs a break :)

The definitely specifically says after-tax net income. What else modifies income besides operating expenses and taxes? (Dividends, I guess?). There's net income, which I would define as profit, and gross income, which is just revenue.

Seems to me net income is equivalent to your definition of earnings.


I was breaking it out into it's constituent parts as it was originally presented as one item.  I believe my previous post demonstrates earnings do not necessarily equal profits.
 
2014-01-19 11:06:14 PM  

WhyteRaven74: skinink: Doesn't matter how much profit or loss a company has if it doesn't meet or beat the banking analysts' estimates

That needs to end. As does valuing stocks based purely on earnings.


So you're suggesting some kind of mind control to force people not to value things differently? Good luck.


And the article doesn't say anything about shell, but it does show how little subby knows about finance and economics.
 
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