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(SacBee)   Sacramento police on the lookout for every male Farker. With bonus 7th grade level police sketch   (sacbee.com) divider line 41
    More: Sick, facial composite, Pocket Area, Sacramento police, Sacramento, seventh level, educational stage, males  
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14611 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2014 at 4:29 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-18 12:18:36 PM  
11 votes:
media.sacbee.com
i4.mirror.co.uk
2014-01-18 04:39:01 PM  
10 votes:
img.fark.net
teenchive.com
2014-01-18 04:32:04 PM  
8 votes:
It's obviously Justin Beiber.

Arrest him.
2014-01-18 04:39:45 PM  
6 votes:
What a good police sketch might look like:
wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net
2014-01-18 05:07:16 PM  
5 votes:
They have a sketch of his girlfriend too.

moviefarm.co.uk
2014-01-18 04:36:47 PM  
5 votes:
As she passed him, he allegedly made an unwanted comment to her, then lowered his hand toward his crotch and said, "Can I unzip my pants?"

That's,  "May I unzip my pants?".
2014-01-18 09:03:10 PM  
4 votes:
i777.photobucket.com
2014-01-18 06:05:13 PM  
4 votes:
A graduate no doubt.

www.drawmeheads.com
2014-01-18 05:00:44 PM  
4 votes:
Subby, the suspect was described as a thin male. Everyone on Fark can wheeze a sigh of relief.
2014-01-18 04:27:06 PM  
4 votes:
It took him like three hours to finish the shading on the upper lip. It's probably the best drawing he's ever done.
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-01-18 12:23:55 PM  
4 votes:
Fake. No one ever asks if they can unzip their sweatpants.

And what kind of goofball euphemism is "lewd behavior in Pocket area"?
2014-01-18 08:41:28 PM  
2 votes:
And once that hood comes off.........

file.trendhunter.com
2014-01-18 06:28:53 PM  
2 votes:

dunklemeister: Does anyone here honestly think this is an OK way to behave toward women, or that this is the sort of thing attractive people do in order to make sex happen?


Never heard of the Brute Force method?

Be straight forward often enough and you will get exactly what you ask for eventually.  Sure, most will think you're a perv or whatever, but it will get you some tail.

Maybe "wanna fark?" is a bit crude, but a lot of people use a very similar tactic.  Having no shame or fear of rejection helps this out a lot.

Try something more like really looking at her feet and say "Nice shoes, wanna fark?" of if you want to be really classy, go with something more like "Want to go halvsies on a bastard?"

Now, delivery is key, a good deliver can save you some time, but even if you're crude and leering, if you do it often enough(to different women, mind you), you still can score, in theory.

Never done it myself.  Seen plenty of people do it and it works.  Just don't expect it to work quickly, it's tough for some guys to pull off, but some may talk to less than ten chicks a night before they find a good prospect.

Of course, farkers still won't manage, because taking her back to mom's basement WILL creep her out.

Seriously though,
Women can be every bit as slutty and horny as men, and there's nothing wrong with that.  Amen.

/of course, it works much better in, say, a night club, than a grocery store or jogging trail
//Me?  I'm just a former modern drunkard that would go to a bar with any random asshole co-worker.
///of course, when you're in the military and overseas, you have to pick from what's there if you want a drinking buddy
2014-01-18 05:01:43 PM  
2 votes:
Audrey Hepburn?
2014-01-18 04:39:56 PM  
2 votes:
The act was apparently committed by Justin Bieber as he appears on a twelve-year-old girl's social studies folder.
2014-01-18 04:39:37 PM  
2 votes:
He looks glad to see me in the Pocket area.
2014-01-18 04:38:20 PM  
2 votes:
The sketch wouldn't be nearly as bad if the hood was draped naturally off the head instead of creepily sticking to the kid's neck and trapezius region like a foreskin.
2014-01-18 04:24:29 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-18 12:55:39 PM  
2 votes:
Is he wearing a hoodie under a spider man outfit or something?
2014-01-19 08:50:36 AM  
1 votes:
so he was an indian outlaw? half cherokee and choctaw?
2014-01-19 12:34:04 AM  
1 votes:
I lived in Sac for a few years and have never heard of the Pocket Area.
2014-01-18 10:29:04 PM  
1 votes:

The English Major: [i777.photobucket.com image 800x600]


img.fark.net
2014-01-18 06:53:38 PM  
1 votes:
But I thought this was the average male farker, subby?:

i1211.photobucket.com

/couldn't resist
//posting that, that is
2014-01-18 06:44:23 PM  
1 votes:

omeganuepsilon: dunklemeister: Does anyone here honestly think this is an OK way to behave toward women, or that this is the sort of thing attractive people do in order to make sex happen?

Never heard of the Brute Force method?



Well, when the woman is literally physically running away from you in terror it might be a good idea to dial down on the Brute Force a bit. And whoever thought of that may want to think about calling it something else.

In my humble experience: women will let you know loud and clear when and where they are DTF. It really isn't as subtle as a lot of men make it out to be. And if she isn't in to it, chasing her down on a deserted jogging trail while waving at your penis isn't exactly going to turn the mood around.
2014-01-18 06:40:56 PM  
1 votes:
media.tumblr.com

hrabia_mol: He brings you love....

2014-01-18 06:10:30 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: [img.fark.net image 229x340]

Indian, in his late 20s to early 30s, 5 feet 10 inches, to 5 feet 11 inches tall, with a skinny build, and wearing a gray hooded-sweatshirt over a flannel pajama top and gray sweat pants.

Hmmmmmmm

[www.sharonknolle.com image 350x450]

/that's the guy from Big Bang Theory, if you don't recognize him


Could not be him except if he started drinking early.
2014-01-18 06:08:52 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: the guy from Big Bang Theory, if you don't recognize him


Damn, I was going to post him, but a quick google wouldn't give me one of him in a hoodie.  Though, plaid shirts abound.
This was as close as I could find:

static1.wikia.nocookie.net
/small but clearer this time
2014-01-18 06:04:44 PM  
1 votes:
The article doesn't actually say the police plan on charging him with anything. The part where he acted like he was considering running after her was the creepy/rapiest part. They may just want to find out who is he so they can talk to him, or in case something worse happens to her or someone else they can have a record of contact with the creep.

Does anyone here honestly think this is an OK way to behave toward women, or that this is the sort of thing attractive people do in order to make sex happen?
2014-01-18 05:56:12 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net

Indian, in his late 20s to early 30s, 5 feet 10 inches, to 5 feet 11 inches tall, with a skinny build, and wearing a gray hooded-sweatshirt over a flannel pajama top and gray sweat pants.

Hmmmmmmm

www.sharonknolle.com

/that's the guy from Big Bang Theory, if you don't recognize him
2014-01-18 05:41:27 PM  
1 votes:
Don't tell me this means there are no lewd female farkers? Just don't tell me that. A man needs a dream. Plus, the sketch could be a female. Maybe one with a penis, but still.
2014-01-18 05:16:36 PM  
1 votes:
That's just sad. Who did the artist have to blow to get that gig?
2014-01-18 05:11:20 PM  
1 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com
Was it this guy?
2014-01-18 05:04:42 PM  
1 votes:
Police on Tuesday released a composite sketch (pictured) of the suspect, who was described as Indian, in his late 20s to early 30s, 5 feet 10 inches, to 5 feet 11 inches tall, with a skinny build, and wearing a gray hooded-sweatshirt over a flannel pajama top and gray sweaty penis.
2014-01-18 05:00:36 PM  
1 votes:
A skinny build?

I think we're safe.
v15
2014-01-18 04:58:00 PM  
1 votes:
"As she passed him, he allegedly made an unwanted comment to her, then lowered his hand toward his crotch and said, 'Can I unzip my pants?'"

"Police on Tuesday released a composite sketch (pictured) of the suspect, who was described as Indian, in his late 20s to early 30s, 5 feet 10 inches, to 5 feet 11 inches tall, with a skinny build, and wearing a gray hooded-sweatshirt over a flannel pajama top and gray sweat pants."

Zippers on sweat pants? An Indian wearing pants? This woman is a farking liar.
2014-01-18 04:45:35 PM  
1 votes:
I was reading the article as a co-worker walked by and said "Dude that looks just like you".
2014-01-18 04:38:33 PM  
1 votes:
As the Huffington Post would headline it, "This is NOT a Photograph".
2014-01-18 03:27:21 PM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: As she passed him, he allegedly made an unwanted comment to her, then lowered his hand toward his crotch and said, "Can I unzip my pants?

This, or similar creepy-perv behaviour, has happened to me more than once. I just ignore it and jog on.


I promise I'll stop. Eventually.
2014-01-18 03:04:06 PM  
1 votes:
howtobeserious.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-18 12:18:13 PM  
1 votes:

JohnnyRebel88: Why would they use a sketch artist in hopes of catching someone that made an unwanted comment to a woman?


Why would they use an 10 year old sketch artist?
2014-01-18 12:15:01 PM  
1 votes:
Why would they use a sketch artist in hopes of catching someone that made an unwanted comment to a woman?
 
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