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(Gizmodo)   Thor attacks Jesus, wins   (sploid.gizmodo.com) divider line 69
    More: Cool, jesus, Christ the Redeemer, lightning storm, space researches  
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11078 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2014 at 2:11 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-01-18 09:39:08 AM  
cheaphaircut.files.wordpress.com

Your move, Son of Man. :P
 
2014-01-18 11:56:55 AM  
i.qkme.me
 
2014-01-18 02:10:16 PM  
Where is your paw now?
 
2014-01-18 02:11:55 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-18 02:16:50 PM  
Yeah well we practice cannibalism! (Symbolic if protestant)
 
2014-01-18 02:17:37 PM  

xanadian: [31.media.tumblr.com image 400x514]


Funny thing about that promise is why Jews don't convert to Christianity. Just about all of the prophecies that the Christians claim that Jesus "fulfilled" in order to call him the "Jewish messiah" have not occurred. For one thing we're all still assholes to one another, still commit to war and still have endless poverty!
 
2014-01-18 02:17:48 PM  
From the comments:  "It's alright, Jesus has dealt with hand injuries before."

Wonder what that guys Fark handle is...
 
2014-01-18 02:19:14 PM  
One thumb up!
 
2014-01-18 02:21:45 PM  
Q: So why did Jeebus gave him the finger?
A: Because he's a damn hippie freak

moltroff.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-18 02:21:50 PM  
Well, he certainly had it coming.
 
2014-01-18 02:22:35 PM  
Neato pics.
 
2014-01-18 02:23:48 PM  

www.technologytell.com


Wonders what the big deal is.

 
2014-01-18 02:29:56 PM  
I am more practical - which one is more likely to see that I am fed.

With that as criteria, Jesus wins.

Sorry Thor, but I never see you in the fields picking crops.
 
2014-01-18 02:30:22 PM  
There can be only one.
 
2014-01-18 02:31:52 PM  
Why worship a benevolent god? He's not going to hurt you. The god you need to fear and appease is the one that will smite you on a whim.
 
2014-01-18 02:32:47 PM  

K3rmy: I am more practical - which one is more likely to see that I am fed.

With that as criteria, Jesus wins.

Sorry Thor, but I never see you in the fields picking crops.


Thor doesn't need no puny crops, he can just butcher his goats every night and resurrect the damned things. Until some smartass kid gets a craving for marrow.
 
2014-01-18 02:33:21 PM  

K3rmy: I am more practical - which one is more likely to see that I am fed.

With that as criteria, Jesus wins.

Sorry Thor, but I never see you in the fields picking crops.


Thor will come to your feast disguised as a maiden, eat everything and then kill the hell out of you. Therefore he wins.
 
2014-01-18 02:41:33 PM  
Thor never turned water into wine or grass into marijuana.

Jesus wins.
 
2014-01-18 02:43:08 PM  
newmediarockstars.com

This looks pretty good
 
2014-01-18 02:50:14 PM  
I think everybody should respond to the hoots and grunts of the imaginary alpha ape they like the best.
It's called tolerance, people.
 
2014-01-18 02:51:21 PM  
So....Jesus gave us the finger? Shocking.
 
2014-01-18 02:52:46 PM  

bearded clamorer: [newmediarockstars.com image 680x389]

This looks pretty good


Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
 
2014-01-18 02:53:02 PM  

bearded clamorer: [newmediarockstars.com image 680x389]

This looks pretty good


I hope it gets made and they have a sound track with these guys. If you're into that sound. Enjoy
Link
 
2014-01-18 02:53:39 PM  

K3rmy: I am more practical - which one is more likely to see that I am fed.

Not if most of Jesus' followers have anything to say about it.

 
2014-01-18 02:53:52 PM  
Time to call Cecilia Giménez to fix it.
 
2014-01-18 02:54:04 PM  
"Wins" is a bit of a stretch.

You can see the actual damage in this video at 47s Link
 
2014-01-18 02:56:55 PM  

Glitchwerks: Thor never turned water into wine or grass into marijuana.

Jesus wins.


Jesus Was Way Cool.

/But seriously wtf, Thor? IMO just a bargain-basement Zeus (The Original Thunderer!) Cloud-Gatherer, Sky-Father, Titan-Killer!
//gives you three guesses what ethnicity he is, the first two you can use to get the homo-jokes out of your system,
 
2014-01-18 02:57:29 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Why worship a benevolent god? He's not going to hurt you. The god you need to fear and appease is the one that will smite you on a whim.


static3.wikia.nocookie.net

Vaal agrees with this sentiment
 
2014-01-18 02:57:45 PM  
You're Thor? I'm so thor I can barely walk.
 
2014-01-18 03:03:54 PM  

deadsanta: //gives you three guesses what ethnicity he is


Who, Thor, Zeus or Jesus?
 
2014-01-18 03:07:41 PM  
"Who's got 2 thumbs and walked on water? NOT THIS GUY."
 
2014-01-18 03:09:45 PM  
That seems premature. It's just a flesh wound.
 
2014-01-18 03:09:47 PM  
A lightning bolt broke off a few fingers on his right hand.

a few? how many did he have?
 
2014-01-18 03:10:49 PM  
Um, duh. Thor is a god, Jesus was a carpenter. All they have in common was wielding a hammer.
 
2014-01-18 03:15:52 PM  
static4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-01-18 03:17:56 PM  
Guess he didn't listen the first time, in 2008. (Actually it's surprising that this has only happened twice in 80 years, and then relatively close together.)
 
2014-01-18 03:18:56 PM  
Thor would hit that:
www.ilestemps.com
 
2014-01-18 03:19:08 PM  
I only post this because just today they posted the new Amon Amarth video, in which I got to be Thor.  Only posting on relevancy:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-18 03:20:29 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Um, duh. Thor is a god, Jesus was a carpenter. All they have in common was wielding a hammer.


And a shiatty carpenter at that, somehow managed to nail himself to a piece of wood.
 
2014-01-18 03:21:40 PM  
i560.photobucket.com

He's even smiting his own son these days.
 
2014-01-18 03:23:17 PM  

LeroyBourne: bearded clamorer: [newmediarockstars.com image 680x389]

This looks pretty good

I hope it gets made and they have a sound track with these guys. If you're into that sound. Enjoy
Link


Thanks for the memories. Used to be a club dj back in the 80s.
 
2014-01-18 03:41:52 PM  

Slagnasty: TofuTheAlmighty: Um, duh. Thor is a god, Jesus was a carpenter. All they have in common was wielding a hammer.

And a shiatty carpenter at that, somehow managed to nail himself to a piece of wood.


Meet your lord and saviour:

media.twirlit.com
 
2014-01-18 03:44:03 PM  
www.encognitive.com
 
2014-01-18 03:47:51 PM  

bearded clamorer: LeroyBourne: bearded clamorer: [newmediarockstars.com image 680x389]

This looks pretty good

I hope it gets made and they have a sound track with these guys. If you're into that sound. Enjoy
Link

Thanks for the memories. Used to be a club dj back in the 80s.


ahh, then you are most definitely into that sound.  No problem, what are the odds.
/if you have spotify load their name into and hit 'related artists', there's a ton of contemporary 80's sounding electronic music bands out these days.
 
2014-01-18 03:49:21 PM  
That's because he was tired from fighting Apollo.

static.comicvine.com
 
2014-01-18 03:56:30 PM  
FTFA: On average, Christ the Redeemer usually gets struck with lightning 3-5 times per year.

Unlike Touchdown Jesus who was struck only once.

bluenred.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-18 03:57:42 PM  
 
2014-01-18 04:05:52 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Why worship a benevolent god? He's not going to hurt you. The god you need to fear and appease is the one that will smite you on a whim.


So Yahweh it is.
 
2014-01-18 04:09:37 PM  

SquiggsIN: Your Hind Brain: FTFA: On average, Christ the Redeemer usually gets struck with lightning 3-5 times per year.

Unlike Touchdown Jesus who was struck only once.

[bluenred.files.wordpress.com image 485x335]

Didn't they rebuild there with another equally disturbing statue?
I don't understand how a church, the house of God, can burn down either...  wouldn't that be arson/insurance fraud?


Well, I guess.
Take god to court and see how it works out.
 
2014-01-18 04:16:41 PM  

K3rmy: I am more practical - which one is more likely to see that I am fed.

With that as criteria, Jesus wins.

Sorry Thor, but I never see you in the fields picking crops.


Thor's actually the Norse god of agriculture and fertility. He doesn't pick crops because he helps create them.

/Also disliked human sacrifice
//Generally great god all around
 
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