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(Mother Nature Network)   Tips for getting your children to fall asleep when the whiskey just doesn't cut it   (mnn.com) divider line 20
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3325 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2014 at 7:35 AM (12 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-18 07:45:17 AM
"Anyone awake in 5 minutes is sleeping in the garden"
 
2014-01-18 07:46:43 AM
Tell them your a super hero and have to save the world every night and if they don't go to sleep people might get hurt.

/no offspring
/or reading comprehension 82.54325% of the time
 
2014-01-18 07:50:10 AM
My parents favored screaming at us until we shut the hell up and went to sleep. If it wasn't effective at helping us sleep, we at least learned to be silent.
 
2014-01-18 08:00:02 AM
I learned the alphabet with the help of mr. giant wooden spoon.
 "Whats this letter?"
"a...a....A?"


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-18 08:03:01 AM
"A mother of 4 kids under 5..."

Anyone too stupid to keep themselves from getting pregnant every time they have sex isn't someone who has the wherewithal to give sound advice.
 
2014-01-18 08:08:28 AM
A mother of 4 kids under 5, our advice columnist reveals the tricks that work for her.

Birth control certainly isn't on the list.
 
2014-01-18 08:13:15 AM
"You're gonna take your little ass to sleep"  Not really my mother would know when we were not sleep and wake us at 5:00-6:00am to do some of the most dumb shiat she could think of.
/Spent a lot of weekends at lawn and garden stores and shopping for plus sized women's clothes.
//The killer part is she packed us a bullshiat no junk food lunch while we went on these "trips"
 
2014-01-18 08:16:34 AM
For a child they won't stay in their bed, this works. Give the child a 'ticket' (one parent used an expired gift card) and tell them they can use the ticket to get out of bed ONE TIME, but one time only, for whatever reason they need. After that they have to stay in bed. They can use the ticket for whatever reason they need: a trip to the bathroom, another story or song, a kiss and a hug (always take them to the bathroom afterward because kids know that is the trump card). After they use their ticket they have to stay in bed. If they get up again, remind them they used the ticket and return the child to bed. Every time they get up after that, no words, avoid eye contact, just put them back to bed as many times as it takes until they fall asleep. After a few days the child usually starts to value the ticket and will save it for when they really 'need' it, and they will start to fall asleep with it in their hands.

Most important, mom and dad need to have a schedule for their own day. If they don't have a schedule, the kids won't develop one. Also, by the time you notice your child is tired, they have been ready for sleep well before then. Get them to sleep early. Most children will have more difficulty falling asleep when they are overly tired, they tend to wake up more and have more sleep disturbances (night terrors, night waking). A well rested child tends to sleep better. I have talked to many parents who have children who wake at night (nightmares, 'growing pains', etc.) who start putting their child to bed 15 min. earlier and find they will start to sleep better.

TFA was really kind of disappoint. Not much substance, though Weissbluth's book is the best out there for parents.

A genuine board certified PDAtrician
 
2014-01-18 08:20:12 AM
Although the article is cloying sickly nonsense, the first tip is pretty much true: "I'll be back in 5 minutes, I need to feed the dog. Try to sleep" works 90% of the time.
 
2014-01-18 08:30:02 AM
I've found that a clear plastic bag over the twomutts Jr's head for a few minutes works wonders. Oh sure, he struggles for a few moments at first, but he's not strong enough yet to put up much of a fight so the struggles are over pretty quickly.

Now I just need to figure out why he's doing so poorly in school...
 
2014-01-18 08:33:54 AM

twomutts: I've found that a clear plastic bag over the twomutts Jr's head for a few minutes works wonders. Oh sure, he struggles for a few moments at first, but he's not strong enough yet to put up much of a fight so the struggles are over pretty quickly.

Now I just need to figure out why he's doing so poorly in school...


Good practice for diving amirite?
 
2014-01-18 08:49:06 AM
I thought the whiskey was to help the parents sleep. At that point, you don't care if the kids are still awake.
 
2014-01-18 09:25:22 AM
A great book to read is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth.

An even better book to read to your kid.
 
2014-01-18 09:34:36 AM
www.cankerboy.com

Like I'm going to waste whiskey on my kids.
 
2014-01-18 10:02:23 AM
CTRL+F "Benadryl" 0 of 0.

Good thing I saw dennysgod's picture, I was about to tell you that you all were slipping.
 
2014-01-18 11:36:45 AM

dennysgod: Like I'm going to waste whiskey on my kids.


Doesn't always work on all kids. One of mine, it made hyper as fark until he was 7.
 
2014-01-18 12:42:13 PM
Challenge them to stay awake during Solaris. They'll be snoring in no time.
 
2014-01-18 01:17:57 PM
Nyquil.
 
2014-01-18 01:27:56 PM

p4p3rm4t3: Tell them your a super hero and have to save the world every night and if they don't go to sleep people might get hurt.

/no offspring
/or reading comprehension 82.54325% of the time


dude...
 
2014-01-18 03:09:44 PM
Laugh away, but my mother really did put whiskey in my brother's bottle. Worked like a charm.
 
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