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(Slate)   Survey Says: Women who don't change their name after marriage bring home more bacon and fry it up in the pan   (slate.com) divider line 113
    More: Interesting, Amanda Marcotte, Double X, Daniel Luzer, AlterNet, birth name  
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3623 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2014 at 9:15 PM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-17 06:24:49 PM
i1353.photobucket.com

When I look at the working women that I know there sure seems to be some truth in it. Never really noticed it until this article. Perhaps it's by choice...but none of the women that changed their names after marriage seem to get promoted. At work even when they all have kids, the maiden name women seem to be more likely to be promoted.
 
2014-01-17 06:47:27 PM
The more obvious explanation is that those who changed their name are less inclined to pursue their career over their family.  (and vice versa)

The obvious tag should be in play.
 
2014-01-17 09:15:59 PM
There is nothing worse than dealing with a woman who changed her name and then gets divorced because they suddenly change all their contact information. J­ud­i­_husban­d­s­l­a­s­tn­ame­[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­i­a­me*c­om becomes Jud­i_­ma­idename[nospam-﹫-backwards]d­ec­ro­vi­d­to­gi*com etc...

It's annoying. Keep your professional and personal identities separate.
 
2014-01-17 09:16:45 PM
I guess my wife is a statistical outlier, then.
 
2014-01-17 09:18:08 PM
Good for her.  Now make me a sandwich, a nice BLT.
 
2014-01-17 09:19:31 PM
Then there's the psycho ex wives that keep their husbands' last names because they think it'll raise their own status.
 
2014-01-17 09:22:41 PM

BunkyBrewman: The more obvious explanation is that those who changed their name are less inclined to pursue their career over their family.  (and vice versa)

The obvious tag should be in play.


Done in two.
 
2014-01-17 09:25:08 PM
And they never ever let you believe that you're the man?
 
2014-01-17 09:25:41 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-17 09:25:55 PM
*whooosh* That's the sound of this headline's reference going over 99% of the Fark community.
 
2014-01-17 09:26:47 PM
rollingout.com

And those without last name, bring home the most of all.
 
2014-01-17 09:27:04 PM

tonguedepressor: *whooosh* That's the sound of this headline's reference going over 99% of the Fark community.


Now you know my secret pain.
 
2014-01-17 09:27:17 PM
One of my female colleagues got married and changed her name. But her new name is Hoar. WTF? Why would you change your name to THAT?
 
2014-01-17 09:27:19 PM

BunkyBrewman: The more obvious explanation is that those who changed their name are less inclined to pursue their career over their family. (and vice versa)


Probably because the name changers are marrying younger, before they get the education that increases the chances they'll bring home more bacon, while the name keepers have established their name in the relevant circles before marriage and don't want to jeopardize that with a name change.
 
2014-01-17 09:27:34 PM
But survey says the number one answer is "correlation does not equal causation"
 
2014-01-17 09:28:29 PM
Do they also get more nekkid and romp it up in the sack?

/inquiring minds
//would like to know
 
2014-01-17 09:29:11 PM

tonguedepressor: *whooosh* That's the sound of this headline's reference going over 99% of the Fark community.


33% said that show was still on live when they were a kid.
 
2014-01-17 09:31:14 PM
I had a teacher in High School named Mrs. Nunn. She divorced, remarried, and took her new husband's last name, Pope. Quite a promotion.
 
2014-01-17 09:31:51 PM
Whose last name do the kids get?
 
2014-01-17 09:32:07 PM
It's almost as if women who don't change their name after marriage often chose to do so because they are well-established in their respective fields which generally means that they already receive fairly high incomes.
 
2014-01-17 09:33:12 PM

GoldSpider: Whose last name do the kids get?


..next week on Maury!
 
2014-01-17 09:34:23 PM

GoldSpider: Whose last name do the kids get?



Being that these couples never seem to have human children, by custom the dogs get the dad's last name and the cats get mom's.
 
2014-01-17 09:40:18 PM
Correlation/causation etc
 
2014-01-17 09:41:48 PM

Mangoose: There is nothing worse than dealing with a woman who changed her name and then gets divorced because they suddenly change all their contact information. Judi_husbandslastname[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]liame[* image 7x13]com becomes Judi_maidename[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]decrovidtogi[* image 7x13]com etc...

It's annoying. Keep your professional and personal identities separate.


Unless the marriage was very brief, or if the husband turned out to be someone who should be in prison, divorced women who changed their names should keep their married names, until they get married again. Especially if they had kids from the marriage with that name. From the kid's point of view, why is mom changing her name to be different from mine? Divorce is not an undo button. You're entering a new phase of your life, not going to back to what you were before.
 
2014-01-17 09:42:37 PM

Foxxinnia: It's almost as if women who don't change their name after marriage often chose to do so because they are well-established in their respective fields which generally means that they already receive fairly high incomes.


That is why a lot of celebrity women don't change their stage names, but still change their legal names.
 
2014-01-17 09:44:12 PM
True enough, my wife is a doctor. She said she didn't work that hard to become Dr. (my last name).

/I don't really care
//I kind of do.
 
2014-01-17 09:49:12 PM
I suspect submitter is mistaken.  Those types of broads may bring home more money but I doubt they fry, or cook, much of anything.  I doubt they are very passionate either.
 
2014-01-17 09:50:27 PM

burdock: GoldSpider: Whose last name do the kids get?


Being that these couples never seem to have human children, by custom the dogs get the dad's last name and the cats get mom's.


I do know one couple where the wife kept her maiden name but they did end up having a child.  The child has the father's last name.

I don't know the wife's reason for keeping her maiden name, but I wonder if she just didn't want to have to constantly explain why a pale redhead like herself would have a Vietnamese last name.
 
2014-01-17 09:51:44 PM
The tradition of changing the name of course dates back to the beginnings of marriage, when the woman actually became the man's property. This would also be a legitimate source of resistance to the practice in modern women.

But I think that just as the meaning and purpose of marriage has evolved over time into simply an expression of love and commitment between two people (leaving aside the practical considerations of taxes, medical benefits, etc), so too should the concept of taking your partner's name along with it.

To me it represents more the solidarity of the union. You aren't just two separate people anymore, you're now 'the Smith family'. I think if we were to collectively consider a shift in the practice due to more modern thinking, that discussion would more properly be based on whether or not couples should consider the possibility of men taking their wife's name than on the idea of just having separate names. Beyond just the emotional commitment the marriage and taking of a name represents, there's still practical utility in sharing a family name. Of course, which partner's name is used in modern times would be pretty arbitrary. On what basis do you choose which partner's name is used? The one you both agree sounds better? This is one way that tradition can be useful, by setting a 'rule' everyone can follow where there would otherwise be no clear direction. And if we find need of such a tradition, why not just continue to use one that's already established? As long as we all understand that it isn't about possession or submission, I don't see where there's anything to object to.

TL;DR: relax ladies, taking your husband's name doesn't mean you're his subordinate.
 
2014-01-17 09:52:48 PM
Women Who Take Their Husband's Name Perceived as Less Competent but More Caring

/stopped reading right there...
 
2014-01-17 09:53:16 PM

GoldSpider: Whose last name do the kids get?


We hyphenated ours. In hindsight that was kind of stupid (sorry guys). A fair solution is that boys get dad's name and girls get mom's.
 
2014-01-17 09:54:57 PM

Foxxinnia: It's almost as if women who don't change their name after marriage often chose to do so because they are well-established in their respective fields which generally means that they already receive fairly high incomes.


came to say this
 
2014-01-17 09:58:23 PM
I feel like Yul Brynner.

Don't get married.  Just don't get married.


/ex wife stalks me
 
2014-01-17 10:01:40 PM
I'll probably change mine just due to being tired of having to spell it out every single time I give my name.

/greek names sound like greek
 
2014-01-17 10:01:50 PM

Johnsnownw: True enough, my wife is a doctor. She said she didn't work that hard to become Dr. (my last name).

/I don't really care
//I kind of do.


I hear ya.

/guy code
//you married female Dr. Evil
 
2014-01-17 10:08:01 PM
My husband wants my last name. He's tired of people mispelling his.
 
2014-01-17 10:08:58 PM
See, for all the silly stuff some feminists make an issue out of, I don't really understand why they let this one pass.  This "tradition" is pretty much patriarchy personified.  I mean, if you're gonna protest against one thing that doesn't really matter that much just for symbolic reasons, this would be the thing.

/would prohibit future wife from taking my name, because goddamnit I'm the man and what I say goes
 
2014-01-17 10:11:46 PM

aerojockey: See, for all the silly stuff some feminists make an issue out of, I don't really understand why they let this one pass.  This "tradition" is pretty much patriarchy personified.  I mean, if you're gonna protest against one thing that doesn't really matter that much just for symbolic reasons, this would be the thing.

/would prohibit future wife from taking my name, because goddamnit I'm the man and what I say goes


Wtf are you smoking?  Feminists biatch over that all the time.

And you sound like a whipped puss.

/why yes I had a rough day
 
2014-01-17 10:13:15 PM
I am mostly irked by the argument "Well it's still my father's name." when people respond to why they will/have changed their last name if women. Sure your father most likely had your last name (I do) but you know what else was given arbitrarily at birth? Your first name.  I wasn't born Maggie_Luna Surname. I was born and it was decided I would be Maggie_Luna Surname.   It just strikes me as stupid.  You're most likely not the only one with your first name, you know?

/my name is not my username or related at all to it.
//I won't change my name if I marry simply because I identify by it.
 
2014-01-17 10:18:50 PM

lack of warmth: Johnsnownw: True enough, my wife is a doctor. She said she didn't work that hard to become Dr. (my last name).

/I don't really care
//I kind of do.

I hear ya.

/guy code
//you married female Dr. Evil


I was in the same boat for awhile till I tossed her overboard.
A great doctor but probably the most selfish person I ever had the misfortune of falling in love with.
 
2014-01-17 10:20:03 PM

walktoanarcade: Wtf are you smoking? Feminists biatch over that all the time.


Not really.  I mean, you can always find some loudmouth making an issue of anything, but there's never really been an organized feminist attack on last names that's gotten traction in the same way that attacks on gender-specific job titles, or even gender-specific pronouns has.
 
2014-01-17 10:22:20 PM

ChadM89: The tradition of changing the name of course dates back to the beginnings of marriage, when the woman actually became the man's property. This would also be a legitimate source of resistance to the practice in modern women.


I see you've met my ex-girlfriend!
 
2014-01-17 10:23:38 PM

aerojockey: I mean, you can always find some loudmouth making an issue of anything


You too!  Christ, how many Farkers has my ex farked!?!

/I keed, she had her faults, but "loose" was not one of them  :)
 
2014-01-17 10:24:26 PM
My words to my current wife when the issue arose (she planned to keep her name): I wouldn't take your name; why the hell should you take mine? In fact, if you did take mine, I'd respect you a lot less.

I really don't understand all the insecure men who insist on their wives taking their names. What the hell do you care? Either you love each other and it'll work or it won't. Taking the same name won't make a difference.
 
2014-01-17 10:28:23 PM

aerojockey: walktoanarcade: Wtf are you smoking? Feminists biatch over that all the time.

Not really.  I mean, you can always find some loudmouth making an issue of anything, but there's never really been an organized feminist attack on last names that's gotten traction in the same way that attacks on gender-specific job titles, or even gender-specific pronouns has.


Oh, well when you put it that way.

To each their own, but for me I feel a duty to pre-screen the next woman for her willingness to take my last name. It's got to do with the fact that I'm the last of my line, so...yeah..I want kids and I want the wife to take my last name. It's important to me. I can see how it's unimportant to others, or whatever.
 
2014-01-17 10:31:55 PM

aerojockey: See, for all the silly stuff some feminists make an issue out of, I don't really understand why they let this one pass.  This "tradition" is pretty much patriarchy personified.  I mean, if you're gonna protest against one thing that doesn't really matter that much just for symbolic reasons, this would be the thing.

/would prohibit future wife from taking my name, because goddamnit I'm the man and what I say goes


It's not about what I say goes. Its about being on the same team mentally.

Gift of the Magi and all that.

If my ex would have said "I would change my name for you because you are that important to me", I would have said "and because I love you I wouldn't want you to."

Instead she said "this is how I want it and everything shall revolve around me".
So I said enjoy your cake Miss Haversham. See ya!
 
2014-01-17 10:34:13 PM

Johnsnownw: True enough, my wife is a doctor. She said she didn't work that hard to become Dr. (my last name).

/I don't really care
//I kind of do.


Maybe its 'cuz your last name is Wu.
 
2014-01-17 10:37:15 PM
My dream in life is not to become a good husband; it is to become a trophy husband.  I am willing to change my last name for the right offer.
 
2014-01-17 10:41:47 PM
Any broad that wouldn't take her husbands name isn't worth two shiats in my book.
 
2014-01-17 10:42:01 PM

tonguedepressor: Maybe its 'cuz your last name is Wu.


That name does come with a bit of a stigma around here...
dudespaper.com
 
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