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(National Review)   A brilliant conservative philosopher presents his grand liberal unification theory, linking together Pixar, racism, wine, James Joyce, Puritans, Hitler, Santa, Mormons, MLK, Goldwater, and squirrels   (nationalreview.com) divider line 82
    More: Amusing, James Joyce, Goldwater, Pixar, Martin Luther King, Mormons, Hitler, Jimmy Smits, English Words  
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1179 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jan 2014 at 12:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-17 11:42:54 AM  
img.fark.net

No, seriously. You're comparing racial discrimination that millions of Americans still face on a daily basis with some people laughing at the German language?

Excuse me. That "article" gave me diarrhea.
 
2014-01-17 11:55:30 AM  
Well, the connection between squirrels and Hitler is well known. I did my graduate thesis on it.
 
2014-01-17 11:57:07 AM  
It's his major work. His "Magnum Dopeus", if you will.
 
2014-01-17 11:59:20 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, the connection between squirrels and Hitler is well known. I did my graduate thesis on it.


Well yeah. The Squirrels were well known anti-semites, and even served in the Waffen SS.

s1.b3ta.com
 
2014-01-17 12:10:25 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-17 12:10:46 PM  
A viral video making the rounds in December bore the very descriptive title "Ten Germans Try to Say the Word 'Squirrel'" - and nobody seemed to think that it was racist or xenophobic...

For f*ck sake. Right off the bat and I am wondering what level of hell I have descended in that has derp this f*cking deep. No guy, it isn't racist. I am f*cking german you stupid douchebag.
 
2014-01-17 12:11:39 PM  
On the other hand, Americans can't say the word squirrel either.
 
2014-01-17 12:14:03 PM  

hardinparamedic: [img.fark.net image 457x750]

No, seriously. You're comparing racial discrimination that millions of Americans still face on a daily basis with some people laughing at the German language?

Excuse me. That "article" gave me diarrhea.


It happens when things are either "bad" or "good", and to this kinda person, that's all there is.  There's things that are righteous and right, and things that are actually the work of true evil.  So if prejudice is wrong, prejudice is wrong, and there is no distinction between systemic prejudice holding back millions for generations, and making fun of someone.

There's also no difference between liberals and Hitler.  Trying to understand these people the way you think isn't going to work.  They don't think in terms of "how can I minimize harm, while maximizing benefit".  They just divide things into good and bad baskets.
 
2014-01-17 12:14:07 PM  
I read every word of that article, but still don't understand what he's saying. I get what he's trying to say, but his account is not supportive.
 
2014-01-17 12:15:00 PM  
Owww. That article caused my brain to liquefy and ooze out my nose.
/Did anyone else know that the frontal lobe tastes like Tuesday?
 
2014-01-17 12:16:23 PM  

upload.wikimedia.org

Unavailable for Comment

 
2014-01-17 12:16:50 PM  
Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while. There was an attempt at a cogent argument, and it didn't go off the rails about liberals and puritans until the very end.
 
2014-01-17 12:18:48 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while.


That's one mighty low bar to jump.
 
2014-01-17 12:18:52 PM  
"Ten Americans try to say the word 'Oachkatzerlschwoaf'" would be amusing, but then I'm shallow and easily amused.
 
2014-01-17 12:19:20 PM  
And now I'm worried about all of the people out there that just read that and nodded approvingly.
 
2014-01-17 12:19:30 PM  

ikanreed: hardinparamedic: [img.fark.net image 457x750]

No, seriously. You're comparing racial discrimination that millions of Americans still face on a daily basis with some people laughing at the German language?

Excuse me. That "article" gave me diarrhea.

It happens when things are either "bad" or "good", and to this kinda person, that's all there is.  There's things that are righteous and right, and things that are actually the work of true evil.  So if prejudice is wrong, prejudice is wrong, and there is no distinction between systemic prejudice holding back millions for generations, and making fun of someone.

There's also no difference between liberals and Hitler.  Trying to understand these people the way you think isn't going to work.  They don't think in terms of "how can I minimize harm, while maximizing benefit".  They just divide things into good and bad baskets.


In order to write for the NRO, you have to have all traces of the word 'context' removed from your brain. This is how they can say 'You have an apple and I have a mailbox. We have the exact same thing' dead seriously.
 
2014-01-17 12:19:39 PM  

Flappyhead: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while.

That's one mighty low bar to jump.


No doubt. I grade then on a curve.
 
2014-01-17 12:20:28 PM  
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2014-01-17 12:21:35 PM  

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while. There was an attempt at a cogent argument, and it didn't go off the rails about liberals and puritans until the very end.


The end of page 1 maybe. This is 3 pages of derp.
FTFA:
It is no accident that American progressives put so many of us in mind of our Puritan ancestors: not for their virtues, such as they are, but for their sanctimoniousness, their humorlessness, their grim little mouths set permanently in rictu....
 
2014-01-17 12:22:09 PM  

StopLurkListen: "Ten Americans try to say the word 'Oachkatzerlschwoaf'" would be amusing, but then I'm shallow and easily amused.


Racist.
 
2014-01-17 12:22:19 PM  

Facetious_Speciest: I read every word of that article, but still don't understand what he's saying. I get what he's trying to say, but his account is not supportive.


How? By the time I reached the second page, my brain was translating the words into farting noises.
 
2014-01-17 12:25:11 PM  
ah yes, the age old thesis that liberals are humorless
 
2014-01-17 12:26:14 PM  

kidgenius: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while. There was an attempt at a cogent argument, and it didn't go off the rails about liberals and puritans until the very end.

The end of page 1 maybe. This is 3 pages of derp.
FTFA:
It is no accident that American progressives put so many of us in mind of our Puritan ancestors: not for their virtues, such as they are, but for their sanctimoniousness, their humorlessness, their grim little mouths set permanently in rictu....


Haha, I take it all back. Didn't realize there were more pages and puritans were just a starting point for insanity.
 
2014-01-17 12:26:38 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, the connection between squirrels and Hitler is well known. I did my graduate thesis on it.


Squirrels are actually much more evil than Hitler ever was.  Did you know that squirrels planned the holocaust?
 
2014-01-17 12:26:51 PM  
FTFA:
Hitler was many things: nationalist, socialist, central planner, advocate of substantial "investments" in national infrastructure projects, in favor of generous spending on the arts. And, of course, a racist. The GOP checks off none of those boxes, the Democrats check off a few, but Republicans are Hitler because somebody on Fox News said Santa is white.

Um...GOP would definitely check off the "Nationalist" box.

This guy has been on a racism tear. That article a week back about "The White Ghetto" and now this...
 
2014-01-17 12:27:00 PM  
thurstonxhowell

How? By the time I reached the second page, my brain was translating the words into farting noises.

You have to feel your way through it. Ignore the minutiae of the babble, just feel his meaning in your gut.

Essentially, he's very concerned that the wrong kinds of racism are being alternatively supported/derided, and further, that people other than himself have different views on which kinds of racisms are acceptable/unacceptable.

This could have been stated in a single paragraph, but such is not his way.
 
2014-01-17 12:27:16 PM  
That article started out pretty strong.  He's clearly studied linguistics.  However, as I'm sure many Farkpublicans would argue about Chomsky, knowledge of linguistics does not necessarily mean you should venture out into politics.
 
2014-01-17 12:27:27 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-17 12:30:36 PM  
james joyce, nooo
 
2014-01-17 12:31:19 PM  

lockers: A viral video making the rounds in December bore the very descriptive title "Ten Germans Try to Say the Word 'Squirrel'" - and nobody seemed to think that it was racist or xenophobic...

For f*ck sake. Right off the bat and I am wondering what level of hell I have descended in that has derp this f*cking deep. No guy, it isn't racist. I am f*cking german you stupid douchebag.


I'm concerned that now "German" is a race and "squirrel" is an American word.  They do have squirrels in other places, right?
 
2014-01-17 12:32:33 PM  
no click
 
2014-01-17 12:33:04 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Well, the connection between squirrels and Hitler is well known. I did my graduate thesis on it.

Squirrels are actually much more evil than Hitler ever was.  Did you know that squirrels planned the holocaust?


I did not know they were in on the holocaust but I have seen what they can do to an attic.
 
2014-01-17 12:33:30 PM  

kidgenius: FTFA:
Hitler was many things: nationalist, socialist, central planner, advocate of substantial "investments" in national infrastructure projects, in favor of generous spending on the arts. And, of course, a racist. The GOP checks off none of those boxes, the Democrats check off a few, but Republicans are Hitler because somebody on Fox News said Santa is white.

Um...GOP would definitely check off the "Nationalist" box.


WHAR OBAMA FLAG PIN!  WHAR!
 
2014-01-17 12:35:42 PM  

factoryconnection: lockers: A viral video making the rounds in December bore the very descriptive title "Ten Germans Try to Say the Word 'Squirrel'" - and nobody seemed to think that it was racist or xenophobic...

For f*ck sake. Right off the bat and I am wondering what level of hell I have descended in that has derp this f*cking deep. No guy, it isn't racist. I am f*cking german you stupid douchebag.

I'm concerned that now "German" is a race and "squirrel" is an American word.  They do have squirrels in other places, right?


Yes, but in Australia they call them wozzlekumakas.
 
2014-01-17 12:35:44 PM  
factoryconnection

I'm concerned that now "German" is a race...

FTFA: "We have set the bar for racism pretty low."

He's just confirming his own position.
 
2014-01-17 12:35:51 PM  
Liberals have to have an enemy and blame racism for everything. They are dumb. Conservatives are not like this. If there were no liberals there would be no problems whatsoever. Liberals are the only problem. Conservatives are smart. This is not projection because different languages sound different or something.

/basic summary of the "article".
 
2014-01-17 12:38:43 PM  
WTF am I reading? Zombie Buckley needs to punch this guy in the cock.
 
2014-01-17 12:39:46 PM  
ahh hahaha hitler the socialist holy shiat
 
2014-01-17 12:41:17 PM  
wtfamireading.jpg
 
2014-01-17 12:42:55 PM  

Jackson Herring: ahh hahaha hitler the socialist holy shiat


"socialist" being a catchall for "any political system that isn't purely capitalist and therefore isn't given to us directly by God"
 
2014-01-17 12:44:40 PM  
Subby here.  I actually just stole the link from the Facebook feed of an in-law.  You know the type. When I was there at Xmas they went to the emergency room twice for medical care as they've never had insurance and never intend to purchase any.
 
2014-01-17 12:45:47 PM  
These are one of the articles that make you believe a site actually is satire. Everyone has been fooled all along.

Either that or the writer just "nuked the fridge" for the whole site.
 
2014-01-17 12:46:34 PM  

reillan: Jackson Herring: ahh hahaha hitler the socialist holy shiat

"socialist" being a catchall for "any political system that isn't purely capitalist and therefore isn't given to us directly by God"


You haven't done your homework.  They were called the National Socialist Party so that means they were socialists just like North Korea is a democracy because it's called the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Study it out.
 
2014-01-17 12:47:54 PM  

reillan: Jackson Herring: ahh hahaha hitler the socialist holy shiat

"socialist" being a catchall for "any political system that isn't purely capitalist and therefore isn't given to us directly by God"


Yup.  There's NO WAY a dictatorship based on lies, world domination, racial superiority and secret genocide would misrepresent itself as the peoples' party.  Once you put "socialist" in your name, that's like pinky swear.

Kaduy.
 
2014-01-17 12:48:19 PM  
He seems to have cracked the code on how you can insert the "N" work into an opinion piece and get away  with it.
 
2014-01-17 12:52:19 PM  
media1.giphy.com

"O...K. Thank you for that, whatever that was."
 
2014-01-17 12:54:36 PM  
I tried... I really tried to read this part. I ignored all of his rambling, all of his attempts to insert other languages in and act like he knew what he was talking about, but I just couldn't get past the Jimmy Smits on SNL part... That was it for me, and I think the guy even 'gets' what that skit was supposed to be about. I just couldn't handle his digressive ramblings, was there ever anything to bother reading in there?
 
2014-01-17 12:57:22 PM  
Is zombie Byrd running for office or something? Or is it simply grasping for straws to claim: "see, the Left are the real racists!"?
 
2014-01-17 01:00:23 PM  

kidgenius: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: Honestly, that was probably the best NRO article I've read in a while. There was an attempt at a cogent argument, and it didn't go off the rails about liberals and puritans until the very end.

The end of page 1 maybe. This is 3 pages of derp.
FTFA:
It is no accident that American progressives put so many of us in mind of our Puritan ancestors: not for their virtues, such as they are, but for their sanctimoniousness, their humorlessness, their grim little mouths set permanently in rictu....


You're proving his point.
 
2014-01-17 01:01:24 PM  

balthan: Is zombie Byrd running for office or something? Or is it simply grasping for straws to claim: "see, the Left are the real racists!"?


You're rather conveniently overlooking his discussion of examples from more ambulatory types.
 
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