If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Philly.com)   Rest easy, Philly - the Swiss Cheese Pervert has been apprehended. Still at large in the area, though, are the dreaded Upper Darby Double Gloucester Dolphin-Flogger and the Pennsauken Pecorino Pud-Pounder   (philly.com) divider line 44
    More: Followup, Swiss Cheese Pervert, Swiss cheese, Northeast Philadelphia, Christopher Pagano, Norristown Police Department, Double Gloucester, Philadelphia Police, indecency  
•       •       •

1892 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2014 at 8:29 AM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-17 08:30:39 AM
This stinks.
 
2014-01-17 08:33:40 AM
Obvious cream cheese joke opportunity missed. Shame on you, Subby.
 
2014-01-17 08:34:05 AM
Real Philadelphians use Cheez Whiz.
 
2014-01-17 08:39:18 AM
The Berlin Bree Buggar-Bandit, sadly, remains at large.
 
2014-01-17 08:40:43 AM
Wow, just wow...
 
2014-01-17 08:42:19 AM
A fromage frotteurist?
 
2014-01-17 08:43:19 AM
The dairy industry will never be the same.
 
2014-01-17 08:45:11 AM
When I saw that the article was written  by Alex Wigglesworth I began giggling and couldn't finish the rest of the article.

Mr. Wigglesworth is an occasional nickname for my dog, how does this person expect to be taken seriously?
 
2014-01-17 08:46:38 AM
LandOfChocolate: Mr. Wigglesworth is an occasional nickname for my dog, how does this person expect to be taken seriously?

More importantly, did you know your dog was moonlighting?
 
2014-01-17 08:47:37 AM
His punishment should be to fill the potholes in the middle lane on the blue route during rush hour
 
2014-01-17 08:47:45 AM
i376.photobucket.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2014-01-17 08:48:39 AM
Personally, I have always preferred to be masturbated with avacadoes.
 
2014-01-17 08:49:17 AM
Good, what a creep!
 
2014-01-17 08:53:50 AM
"I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese"

Sounds reasonable.
 
2014-01-17 08:55:01 AM
I don't think "Can you help me with my dick cheese?" is ever going to be a successful pickup line.
 
2014-01-17 08:55:51 AM
But what about The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler?

/Goon Show ftw!
 
2014-01-17 08:56:32 AM

danielscissorhands: Personally, I have always preferred to be masturbated with avacadoes.


Also, avocados.
 
2014-01-17 08:57:24 AM

Carn: I don't think "Can you help me with my dick cheese?" is ever going to be a successful pickup line.


How about: "Hey, babe - wanna wrap a little muenster 'round my monster?"
 
2014-01-17 08:57:24 AM
Peccorino sounds painful.
 
2014-01-17 08:59:12 AM

jso2897: Carn: I don't think "Can you help me with my dick cheese?" is ever going to be a successful pickup line.

How about: "Hey, babe - wanna wrap a little muenster 'round my monster?"


"You ever have a hot Italian sausage wrapped in mozzarella?"
 
2014-01-17 08:59:31 AM
Goddamn Philly people and their cheese obsession. If this had happened in NEPA, he would have used scrapple.
 
2014-01-17 09:04:39 AM

LandOfChocolate: When I saw that the article was written  by Alex Wigglesworth I began giggling and couldn't finish the rest of the article.

Mr. Wigglesworth is an occasional nickname for my dog, how does this person expect to be taken seriously?


It was the nickname for my penis back in college. Make of that as you will.
 
2014-01-17 09:05:10 AM

Here Comes Everybody: Real Philadelphians use Cheez Whiz.


No, they don't.

/real Philadelphian
 
2014-01-17 09:07:53 AM

cookiefleck: "I found that women tend to like dairy products, and settled on cheese to represent the girl. thus I started having sex with cheese"

Sounds reasonable.


It's logic like this that put man on the moon. To fark its green cheese.
 
2014-01-17 09:09:55 AM
Conshohocken Chicken Choker still on the loose.
 
2014-01-17 09:13:11 AM
From Pinky and the Brain-

CHEESE ROLL CALL (Episode P4)
Lyrics by Paul Rugg.
Sung to Semper Fidelis by John Philip Sousa.
 
Pinky: A world of cheeses
       Deliciously made for you and me
       Flavors like Provolone and Brie
       Each with its own ethnicity.
       So many cheeses
       Are available all around the world for you to eat
       Especially good with crackers and meat
       A nice yummy treat.
 
       Thousands of cheeses
       The texture of some can be real gooey
       Others are quite firm and chewy
       Some are better when mildewy.
       Bountiful cheeses
       When you take a big whiff a few
       Will make you want to spew
       Especially strong is the cheese Remoudou
       A real stinkeroo.
 
       It's incredible just how many kinds there are
       From countries near and far
       It's really quite bizarre.
       Now from the mouths of cheeses big and small
       We proudly present to you
       The cheese roll call.
 
*Wensleydale: I am the British cheese Wensleydale, lightly
*             pressed and smooth textured with a subtle
*             milky flavor which is clean and refreshing.
*
*Pinky: Welcome, Wensleydale!
*
*Cheddam: G'day! I am Australian Cheddam, an
*         innocuous, golden yellow, rindless block
*         inspired by Cheddar and Edam!
*
*Pinky: Welcome, Cheddam!
 
Edelpilzkäse: I am the German cheese Edelpilzkäse, a fine,
              blue-veined cheese with a pale ivory paste
              and very dark veins traveling vertically
              through me.
 
Pinky: Welcome, Edelpil... Edel... oh, willkommen!
 
+Brie: I am the French cheese Brie, a soft,
+      unpressed, naturally drained cow's milk with
+      white rind flora, molded into large flat disks
+      and ripened for three to four weeks.
 
Pinky: Thank you, cheeses!  I want to eat you all!
 
Pinky: Oh, how I like my cheeses
       Cheese from around the world
       Cheese is the taste that pleases
       Cheese from around the world (sing with me, cheeses!)
 
+some: Oh, how I like my cheeses
       Cheese from around the world (everybody!)
+all : Cheese is the taste that pleases
       Cheese from around the world
 
       Around this great big world
       Around this big cheese world
       Around this great big world
       Around this big -- cheese -- world!
 
Pinky: Mmm... yummy! Narf!
 
2014-01-17 09:16:45 AM
This story has too many holes in it.


...Yes, I suck.
 
2014-01-17 09:19:36 AM
Kensington Government Cheese Goldbricker next on the list.
 
2014-01-17 09:33:30 AM
Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
 
2014-01-17 09:38:22 AM
Don't forget the Mainline Moussaka Masturbator, the Walt Whitman Bridge Buggerer and the Camden Stromboli Snuggler (NOT a misspelling).

/Don't miss Camden County at all.
 
2014-01-17 09:48:22 AM
Heh. I used to live in Norristown. What a dump.
 
2014-01-17 10:01:59 AM
 
2014-01-17 10:03:23 AM

Larson E. Whipsnade: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?


Disappointed at how long it took for a Python reference to show.

/Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir
 
2014-01-17 10:06:26 AM
The Cheese Shop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJhq9eq_eJg
 
2014-01-17 10:58:38 AM
The Dutch Rudder is still at large.
 
2014-01-17 11:28:11 AM
Why? Just... why? So bizarre.

I wouldn't want to be that guy's family.

Or friend. Or employer. Or neighbour.
 
2014-01-17 11:33:13 AM
The crime- and the guy- is laughably pathetic.

But the fact that he has a wife and young daughter? Those poor women.
 
2014-01-17 11:41:37 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-17 11:42:08 AM

Max Awesome: Why? Just... why? So bizarre.

I wouldn't want to be that guy's family.

Or friend. Or employer. Or neighbour.


Did you read where the neighbor says he walks around outside in his underwear carrying a gun?

Or where he says neighboring kids could come into harm if they wandered onto his property?
 
2014-01-17 12:34:33 PM

o'really: The crime- and the guy- is laughably pathetic.

But the fact that he has a wife and young daughter? Those poor women.


What!!!!
 
2014-01-17 12:39:44 PM
Looks like I just found my new Xbox Live gamertag.
 
2014-01-17 01:12:29 PM
Too bad he skipped over Wissinoming on his way from Mayfair to Bridesburg. My wife has been looking for some part-time work, and she's done weirder shiat with me for free.
 
2014-01-17 01:20:58 PM
Great band names subby.
 
2014-01-17 01:37:08 PM
He just needed a Gouda Bleu Job,
Gives a whole new meaning to Head Cheese,
He wanted to have his whey with you,
Just Quiche it baby!
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report