If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   The Ultimate G Vibrator promises - DUN DUN DUN - 'Third-Level' orgasms   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 41
    More: Interesting, Ann Summers  
•       •       •

4788 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Jan 2014 at 8:18 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-17 07:35:03 AM
Name:  Orgasm
Level:  Third
Conjuration/Summoning
Area of Effect: One Person
Duration: 1 Segment per level of Caster
Saving Throw:  Nullifies
Casting Time:  Varies
Components: VSM

This spell causes intense waves of pleasure to overwhelm the subject unless a Save Vs Spell is made.  The subject will unable to complete any other actions while under the effect.  Some subjects will emit sharp vocalizations for the duration of the spell, often calling on their deities.  The DM should roll for random encounters.  The after effects of this spell may cause intense feelings of affection and susceptibility to persuasion depending on the intensity and duration of the spell.

Note:  Spell casters with high Charisma may cause the subject to Save at a minus equal to the reaction bonus of the Caster, at the DM discretion.

/I am such a nerd.
 
2014-01-17 08:16:37 AM
so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?
 
2014-01-17 08:26:19 AM

somedude210: so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?


This one goes up to 11... um, I mean, 3.
 
2014-01-17 08:27:26 AM

somedude210: so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?


This one looks like a cartoon seal beckoning you, which is... nice.
 
2014-01-17 08:30:35 AM
Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.
 
2014-01-17 08:33:36 AM

miscreant: somedude210: so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?

This one goes up to 11... um, I mean, 3.


6.  We have ....six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's... nnyeahh. Then there's two, and by the time you get to five it's like NNNGHH UNNGGGHH RRRRGHHH!!!!
 
2014-01-17 08:38:57 AM
3rd level? Woot...fireball, biatches!
 
2014-01-17 08:40:06 AM

kieran57: Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.


Dude...Melf's is 2nd level.
 
2014-01-17 08:49:28 AM
www.mcarterbrown.com
 
2014-01-17 08:56:27 AM
HUffing-Puff would have been better off getting a female staffer to write a review instead of some guy named Dicker to summarize a press release.  Seriously without any first hand sources its just marketing puffery.  Any Farkers want to take it for a spin and review it.
 
2014-01-17 09:04:42 AM
drawception.com
 
2014-01-17 09:09:57 AM
When can it multi class?
 
2014-01-17 09:21:00 AM

Fano: When can it multi class?


For men, in their early-twenties, women is mid-30s.
 
2014-01-17 09:27:07 AM
Couldn't I just hold my hand like that and drink a lot of caffeinated beverages?
 
2014-01-17 09:32:03 AM
Oh man, ours only goes to 5. There's :

-bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
-bzz...............bzz...............bzz...............bzz
-BZZ..bzz.........BZZ..bzz.........BZZ..bzz......
-bzzzZZZZZ.......bzzzZZZZZ.......bzzzZZZZZ      and
-bzzzz....bzzzz....bzzzz....bzzzz....bzzzz....
 
2014-01-17 09:41:25 AM

digitalrain: kieran57: Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.

Dude...Melf's is 2nd level.


2nd level spell - earliest caster level capable of casting the spell is 3rd... or if we've got a 3rd level spell then you need at least a level 5 wizard.
 
2014-01-17 09:45:35 AM
files.myopera.com
 
2014-01-17 09:47:24 AM

Solon Isonomia: digitalrain: kieran57: Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.

Dude...Melf's is 2nd level.

2nd level spell - earliest caster level capable of casting the spell is 3rd... or if we've got a 3rd level spell then you need at least a level 5 wizard.


The best orgasms cast Grease anyway.
 
2014-01-17 09:48:09 AM
maybe it's a prestige class thing...
 
2014-01-17 09:51:02 AM
Oh.

Oooh...

Oh, God!

Ding, leveled up!
 
2014-01-17 09:55:03 AM

MagicBoris: Solon Isonomia: digitalrain: kieran57: Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.

Dude...Melf's is 2nd level.

2nd level spell - earliest caster level capable of casting the spell is 3rd... or if we've got a 3rd level spell then you need at least a level 5 wizard.

The best orgasms cast Grease anyway.


And that's only a 1st level spell and be cast by a 1st level wizard and sorcerer, a real workhorse spell... sometimes simple is best for farking.
 
2014-01-17 10:00:37 AM
What does she mean by that thirdmetric comment? I don't get it.
 
2014-01-17 10:08:28 AM
Yes... but what is the range of the splash damage?
 
2014-01-17 10:59:48 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-17 11:30:30 AM
Meh only 3rd level? Call me when it hits 21 and we can pull out the epic rules.
 
2014-01-17 11:47:57 AM

Ennuipoet: Name:  Orgasm
Level:  Third
Conjuration/Summoning
Area of Effect: One Person
Duration: 1 Segment per level of Caster
Saving Throw:  Nullifies
Casting Time:  Varies
Components: VSM

This spell causes intense waves of pleasure to overwhelm the subject unless a Save Vs Spell is made.  The subject will unable to complete any other actions while under the effect.  Some subjects will emit sharp vocalizations for the duration of the spell, often calling on their deities.  The DM should roll for random encounters.  The after effects of this spell may cause intense feelings of affection and susceptibility to persuasion depending on the intensity and duration of the spell.

Note:  Spell casters with high Charisma may cause the subject to Save at a minus equal to the reaction bonus of the Caster, at the DM discretion.

/I am such a nerd.


You forgot "Male characters go to sleep at the end of the spell."
 
2014-01-17 11:50:49 AM

Solon Isonomia: digitalrain: kieran57: Awesome. Now my orgasms can cast Melf's acid arrow.

Dude...Melf's is 2nd level.

2nd level spell - earliest caster level capable of casting the spell is 3rd... or if we've got a 3rd level spell then you need at least a level 5 wizard.


You're right...my bad. I was thinking in terms of actual spell level, not the level of the caster needed to cast it.
 
2014-01-17 11:59:53 AM
This is clinically pertinent to my professional interests. Too bad the press release doesn't involve any usage reporting.
 
2014-01-17 12:35:24 PM
DING!
 
2014-01-17 12:40:05 PM

Ennuipoet: Name:  Orgasm
Level:  Third
Conjuration/Summoning
Area of Effect: One PersonSelf
Duration: 1 Segment per level of Caster
Saving Throw:  Nullifies
Casting Time:  Varies
Components: VSM

/I am such a nerd.


'Cos let's face it: no one else is gonna do it for you.
 
2014-01-17 12:58:20 PM

ArcadianRefugee: 'Cos let's face it: no one else is gonna do it for you.


You really need to let loose and let your freak flag fly
 
2014-01-17 01:05:34 PM

Ennuipoet: Name:  Orgasm
Level:  Third
Conjuration/Summoning
Area of Effect: One Person
Duration: 1 Segment per level of Caster
Saving Throw:  Nullifies
Casting Time:  Varies
Components: VSM

This spell causes intense waves of pleasure to overwhelm the subject unless a Save Vs Spell is made.  The subject will unable to complete any other actions while under the effect.  Some subjects will emit sharp vocalizations for the duration of the spell, often calling on their deities.  The DM should roll for random encounters.  The after effects of this spell may cause intense feelings of affection and susceptibility to persuasion depending on the intensity and duration of the spell.

Note:  Spell casters with high Charisma may cause the subject to Save at a minus equal to the reaction bonus of the Caster, at the DM discretion.

/I am such a nerd.


Cast Orgams with the Quickened Metamagic feat.
 
2014-01-17 01:43:20 PM
This thing is almost worthless. It reminds me of John Cleese's stampeding to the clitoris line. This is a tool designed for simultaneous direct stimulation of both the g-spot and clitoris only. Both of those need to be worked up to and the bizarre shape isn't going to help much with that.

/still think that a tongue and index finger can do the same thing without costing north of $100
 
2014-01-17 01:59:54 PM

xanadian: miscreant: somedude210: so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?

This one goes up to 11... um, I mean, 3.

6.  We have ....six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's... nnyeahh. Then there's two, and by the time you get to five it's like NNNGHH UNNGGGHH RRRRGHHH!!!!


And has your girlfriend pressing her boobs against the window because it's so good she has to share it
 
2014-01-17 02:04:32 PM
This one is gasline powered, and comes with three different girths:

img.diytrade.com
 
2014-01-17 02:38:58 PM
Klaumbaz:
You forgot "Male characters roll over, fart, and go to sleep at the end of the spell."

/FTFY
 
2014-01-17 03:11:50 PM

xanadian: miscreant: somedude210: so wait...how is this any different than what vibrators/dildos do already?

This one goes up to 11... um, I mean, 3.

6.  We have ....six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's... nnyeahh. Then there's two, and by the time you get to five it's like NNNGHH UNNGGGHH RRRRGHHH!!!!


Approves:
mutantreviewers.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-17 05:15:28 PM

the8re: Yes... but what is the range of the splash damage?


Lily Thai involved? Unerring on the Prime Material Plane.
 
2014-01-17 06:18:49 PM
Meh....WeVibe is more fun.
 
2014-01-17 08:00:09 PM

cgraves67: Oh.

Oooh...

Oh, God!

Ding, leveled up!



And in my head i just heard the victory music from Final Fantasy VII
 
2014-01-17 10:27:56 PM
img.fark.net
 
Displayed 41 of 41 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report