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(Cleveland Scene)   Ohio car salesman sent to hospital after customer's pet spider monkey bites him   (clevescene.com) divider line 38
    More: Amusing, Vermilion, Pat O'Brien Chevrolet, Ohio, hospitals  
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2076 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2014 at 11:18 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-16 08:06:03 PM
hotdamncharlotteann.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-16 08:09:07 PM
Trunk Monkey?
 
2014-01-16 08:21:56 PM

fusillade762: [hotdamncharlotteann.files.wordpress.com image 630x354]


*shakes fist!*
 
2014-01-16 08:45:21 PM
So is he going to gain the abilities of a spider or a monkey?
 
2014-01-16 09:02:18 PM
i.imgur.com

This monkey is beautiful and angular. And if it were a gas, it would be inert.
 
2014-01-16 09:03:20 PM
Now the monkey will need the whole rabies shot series

/poor little guy
 
2014-01-16 10:45:28 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-16 11:20:31 PM
On a scale of one to being bitten by a moose, how does this rate?
 
2014-01-16 11:21:35 PM
www.slashcastpodcast.com
 
2014-01-16 11:23:00 PM

MrHappyRotter: On a scale of one to being bitten by a moose, how does this rate?


Right next to getting sacked and being replaced by Mexican Llamas
 
2014-01-16 11:26:19 PM
Definitely a trunk monkey.  Trunk monkeys dont die like hookers.
 
2014-01-16 11:26:43 PM
goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2014-01-16 11:26:56 PM

MrHappyRotter: On a scale of one to being bitten by a moose, how does this rate?


Pretti nasti
 
2014-01-16 11:32:11 PM
Really? That almost never happens. Perhaps we can get the car salesman to return for additional trials/conversations with the sales manager?
 
2014-01-16 11:48:51 PM
If a monkey were to bite you, what kind of drugs do you suppose they'd give you?
 
2014-01-16 11:53:28 PM
Did he make the sell? That is all that matters, always be closing.
 
2014-01-16 11:53:30 PM

Papa Rotsy: If a monkey were to bite you, what kind of drugs do you suppose they'd give you?


The monkey? From my experience they won't even let you take a drag off their cigarette.

Monkeys are assholes.
 
2014-01-16 11:54:53 PM
The ol' bite-and-stitch trick, eh monkey?
 
2014-01-16 11:55:24 PM
Pro Tip: If you don't want to lose your exotic pet, leave it home when you go car shopping.
/should have named it Bitey
 
2014-01-16 11:59:33 PM
I would hate getting monkey-bitten by a pet spider.
 
2014-01-17 12:08:45 AM
Ohio, giving Florida a run for the fark tag since whenever
 
2014-01-17 12:11:16 AM
damn spider monkey, first thing I thought of was this exchange

Harland: Well, summer's a time for strawberry festivals.

Conan: I didn't see that coming. What do you mean, seriously, you go to strawberry festivals?

Harland: You thought I was going to say coffee festival. Yeah, when I was a kid, I'll never forget this one strawberry festival, you know I'm from Canada, and my parents took me to this one in this little town called Cloid, in Northern Canada. You know, there's no monkeys up there.

Conan: Who said there were?

Harland: Well this is the thing. There's no monkeys in Canada. So I'm at the church at the strawberry festival and I go wandering off down the street, and I'm about 14 years old, and I see this monkey chained to a maple tree. Some guy must have been with a circus at some point and there's this monkey running around on this chain.

Conan: And that's stuff you don't see in Canada.

Harland: There's no monkeys in Canada. So I go walking by, and when I come walking back, I notice that the chain's just hanging there, there's no monkey, and I'm around looking for this monkey. And it's one of those wily little spider monkeys, right, and I can't see it. So I see this other kid walking along the sidewalk on the other side of the road - he's just walking along. And all of a sudden, I see the the monkey, I guess he got off his chain. He comes bolting out from behind a tree, running 100 miles per hour, runs up the back of a car, and uses the back windshield as a ramp, and he flies through the air about 40 feet and just wraps himself around the back of this kid's head. So this kid's like: "There's no monkeys in this country! What's on my head, man?" So that's the beauty of strawberry festivals.

Conan: You never know what you'll see.

Harland: You'll never know. It's a treat.
 
2014-01-17 12:16:18 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-17 12:31:53 AM
As a car salesman, I find this story both disturbing and hilarious.
 
2014-01-17 12:47:37 AM
Another good reason to stay the hell out of Ohio.
 
2014-01-17 12:57:21 AM
img2-1.timeinc.net
 
2014-01-17 01:56:15 AM
Monkeys are not a significant risk for rabies transmission. But people freak out and think they're going to get rabies if one bites them. Health departments are generally unsympathetic and require rabies testing on the animal, which involves euthanizing the animal and taking brain tissue samples. So in spite of the risk of rabies being practically non-existant, owners are smart to get their monkeys vaccinated for it. Without the vaccination record, the car salesman could have insisted on a rabies test, and the law would have supported him.
 
2014-01-17 02:01:35 AM

Aces and Eights: Monkeys are not a significant risk for rabies transmission. But people freak out and think they're going to get rabies if one bites them. Health departments are generally unsympathetic and require rabies testing on the animal, which involves euthanizing the animal and taking brain tissue samples. So in spite of the risk of rabies being practically non-existant, owners are smart to get their monkeys vaccinated for it. Without the vaccination record, the car salesman could have insisted on a rabies test, and the law would have supported him.


Even with the vaccination record, they could potentially still insist on it. As far as I recall, the only legally approved (through the whole FDA, I believe, process) rabies vaccines are for dogs, cats, horses and ferrets.  Anything after that is likely considered off-label (so it probably works scientifically speaking, but no one spent the assloads of money needed to prove it).

The possible bacterial infection and general trauma from the bites would be a much bigger concern to me, but then I already know I have a good titer from my own rabies vaccine.

/veterinarian
//has treated pet monkeys
///can't stand the little bastards
 
2014-01-17 02:01:36 AM
Trukk not Munkey

/obscure?

/only if your not a Transformers Fan.
 
2014-01-17 02:24:17 AM
I'm curious. If some guy shows up at your car dealership with a monkey, okay, first, you're a salesman trying to establish a relationship with someone you're trying to sell a vehicle to.

"Ahh, can I pet it?"

And of course the guy is like,"sure!"

You go to pet it and the damned thing bites you.

Then the question becomes "Can I punch a monkey? Can I punch a monkey's owner? Should I be worried about Monkey Aids enough to go to the hospital?"

So many questions. Not sure how I'd react.

I like to think I'd punch the monkey.
 
2014-01-17 05:19:19 AM
Not a single Cal Worthington reference? Fark, you disappoint me.
 
2014-01-17 06:24:46 AM
Still up for debate, however, is the pressing question, Who goes car shopping with a pet monkey?

Same kind of person who goes shopping for inexpensive yet functional Scandinavian furniture with a monkey.

s22.postimg.org
 
2014-01-17 06:32:11 AM
If you go vermilion after a monkey bite it is always wise to go to the hospital.
 
2014-01-17 06:59:06 AM
So I'm the only person who heard "The Simpsoooons" and theme music in his mind??
 
2014-01-17 07:08:14 AM
Stop keeping monkeys as pets. They're not pets, they're evil, face chewing monsters
 
2014-01-17 08:30:52 AM
Somebody's not going to get $200 knocked off of that undercoating.
 
2014-01-17 09:27:46 AM

Papa Rotsy: If a monkey were to bite you, what kind of drugs do you suppose they'd give you?


s3.amazonaws.com

/Well done...
//I thought for sure I'd be the first with that...
///No one ever quotes Wings around here...
 
2014-01-17 12:20:06 PM
I think I saw that movie.

Does it involve hundreds of millions of people dying horribly from some sort of monkey virus?
 
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