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(Gawker)   Trace Adkins heads to rehab after fighting Trace Adkins impersonator on cruise ship. Trace Adkins impersonator heads to rehab after realizing he's impersonating Trace Adkins   ( gawker.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Trace Adkins, impersonators, Country Star, fights  
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2677 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jan 2014 at 12:23 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-16 12:20:14 PM  
Has anything good ever happened on a cruise ship?

They're like floating psych wards for people on suicide watch.
 
2014-01-16 12:27:59 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Has anything good ever happened on a cruise ship?


There was that one time that Leonardo DiCaprio slowly froze to death.  That was nice
 
2014-01-16 12:28:38 PM  
Wait. You mean all 90s "country" singers aren't just impersonating the same guy?
 
2014-01-16 12:31:24 PM  
I saw him in concert six years ago.  That's a pretty big guy!  I'd hate to piss him off.
 
2014-01-16 12:35:50 PM  
Sad that he fell off the wagon.

/At least he didn't fall off the cruise ship.
 
2014-01-16 12:41:39 PM  
Who?
 
2014-01-16 12:42:23 PM  

Cheron: sigdiamond2000: Has anything good ever happened on a cruise ship?

There was that one time that Leonardo DiCaprio slowly froze to death.  That was nice


Hey, he's booked on a flight for Virgin Galactic.  One only hopes for a fiery death on re-entry.
 
2014-01-16 12:42:51 PM  
Adkins, who'd been sober for 12 years, left the ship in Jamaica and checked himself into rehab.

Uh, pardon me for being skeptical, but I don't see any references to how he was drunk again. Just something (in another blurb) about how he'd "battled alcoholism in the past." Kind of sounds like he's still sober, just lost his shiat and is now hiding until it blows over.
 
2014-01-16 12:43:27 PM  
I hear the rehab he is going to only costs $19 a month.
 
2014-01-16 12:45:09 PM  
Wow, he's like a wounded warrior or something.
 
2014-01-16 12:45:31 PM  
Stupid maple ice cream.
 
2014-01-16 12:45:52 PM  

homelessdude: I hear the rehab he is going to only costs $19 a month.


Plus a $12,000 deductible.   Thanks Obama!
 
2014-01-16 12:46:58 PM  
I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.
 
2014-01-16 12:52:35 PM  

GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.


Like sing?
 
2014-01-16 12:53:43 PM  

GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.


Details please.

/Grabs chair and popcorn.
 
2014-01-16 12:55:39 PM  
Did they spontaneously combust?

/One can only hope.
 
2014-01-16 12:57:13 PM  
Adkins, who'd been sober for 12 years, left the ship in Jamaica and checked himself into rehab."

Go into rehab over one drunken night? Sounds more like a publicity stunt than an actual need for rehab to me.
 
2014-01-16 01:00:39 PM  

EyeballKid: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Like sing?


Good one!
 
2014-01-16 01:03:50 PM  
That was a high stakes battle. If the impersonator won, he would actually become Trace Adkins. This has been playing out over millennia.
 
2014-01-16 01:05:31 PM  
He's gonna miss this?
 
2014-01-16 01:06:48 PM  
From Wikipedia:

"As a youth, Trace was in an automobile accident in which his 1955 pickup truck hit a bus head-on. Both his arms, a leg, and some ribs were broken and his nose was partially torn off. Trace was forced to give up football after a severe knee injury at Louisiana Tech. He has also experienced a number of serious injuries as an adult, including being shot by his ex-wife in 1994. The bullet went through his heart and both lungs. He survived and chose not to press charges."

No wonder he is a farking drunk....I would be too.
 
2014-01-16 01:07:39 PM  

EyeballKid: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Like sing?


He wouldn't be able to catch his breath long enough to sing with what I have planned for him.
 
2014-01-16 01:08:27 PM  

Beerguy: From Wikipedia:

"As a youth, Trace was in an automobile accident in which his 1955 pickup truck hit a bus head-on. Both his arms, a leg, and some ribs were broken and his nose was partially torn off. Trace was forced to give up football after a severe knee injury at Louisiana Tech. He has also experienced a number of serious injuries as an adult, including being shot by his ex-wife in 1994. The bullet went through his heart and both lungs. He survived and chose not to press charges."

No wonder he is a farking drunk....I would be too.


I would want him a little drunk...not too much, but a little bit.
 
2014-01-16 01:08:34 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: That was a high stakes battle. If the impersonator won, he would actually become Trace Adkins. This has been playing out over millennia.


Okay, someone get the lights.
 
2014-01-16 01:11:19 PM  
What's a Trace Adkins? It sounds like the disease Greg Land must surely have.
 
2014-01-16 01:12:40 PM  
Maybe the impersonator did this:

Hi, I'm Trace Adkins. Sing it with me!  ♫ ♪   I'm a gigantic douchebag and an alcoholic... ♫ ♪

*Real Adkins punchout ensues*
 
2014-01-16 01:17:57 PM  
Who and what the fark is a "trace adkins?"
 
2014-01-16 01:25:59 PM  

cryinoutloud: Adkins, who'd been sober for 12 years, left the ship in Jamaica and checked himself into rehab.

Uh, pardon me for being skeptical, but I don't see any references to how he was drunk again. Just something (in another blurb) about how he'd "battled alcoholism in the past." Kind of sounds like he's still sober, just lost his shiat and is now hiding until it blows over.


Um...sober people don't usually check into alcohol rehab.  Also, the non-TMZ link in TFA spells it all out for the slower students.
 
2014-01-16 01:26:58 PM  

GalFriday: EyeballKid: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Like sing?

He wouldn't be able to catch his breath long enough to sing with what I have planned for him.


"Moon River..."
cdn3.whatculture.com
 
2014-01-16 01:31:45 PM  

GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.


Ewww. I wouldn't.
 
2014-01-16 01:32:26 PM  
My cousin is on that cruise.

Apparently Trace really went off the rails, and was rampaging about the ship in a loud, angry, drunken stupor.

/csb
 
2014-01-16 01:40:29 PM  

suburbanguy: Um...sober people don't usually check into alcohol rehab.  Also, the non-TMZ link in TFA spells it all out for the slower students.


I read that. "A setback in his battle with alcoholism" could be anything. That's what publicists are paid to do--lie and obfuscate. And of course sober people check into rehab--if they've got the money, honey, the rehab has the time. Especially if they're celebrities. You don't have to be drugging, you just say that you're having personal problems and might relapse.

And if that's not good enough for you, I'm speaking from personal experience. People who have been sober for years generally don't just blow it because they didn't like their impersonator, all of a farking sudden. We probably would have heard something about him blowing his sobriety before this happened.

so piss off, there.
 
2014-01-16 01:41:09 PM  

unyon: Maybe the impersonator did this:

Hi, I'm Trace Adkins. Sing it with me!  ♫ ♪   I'm a gigantic douchebag and an alcoholic... ♫ ♪

*Real Adkins punchout ensues*


Come to think of it, now that you say something, I was trying to remember the last time Trace Adkins said his name in a high-pitched voice before telling people to look at him and revealing some embarrassing truth about himself. I'm starting to think that impersonator wasn't a professional at all!
 
2014-01-16 01:43:15 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Adkins, who'd been sober for 12 years, left the ship in Jamaica and checked himself into rehab."

Go into rehab over one drunken night? Sounds more like a publicity stunt than an actual need for rehab to me.


12 years and falling off the wagon when you are at the height of your career and you have lots of money?  Doesn't sound far-fetched to me at all.
When you know where you are headed, it is wise to nip it in the bud.
 
2014-01-16 01:44:27 PM  
That's something to be proud of, I guess.

/that was him, right?
 
2014-01-16 01:45:12 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.


My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.
 
2014-01-16 01:46:03 PM  

GalFriday: unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.

My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.


blogmytv.com
 
2014-01-16 01:46:29 PM  

GalFriday: unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.

My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.


With that voice, I want to hear his sexytime sounds.  HOT.
 
2014-01-16 01:52:41 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: That was a high stakes battle. If the impersonator won, he would actually become Trace Adkins. This has been playing out over millennia.


I LOL'ed


There can only be one......


It's like in the movies when the good guy is fighting the bad guy but no one knows which one to help because they are lookalikes, so the good guys friends starts asking them questions that only the good Trace would know.
 
2014-01-16 01:53:40 PM  

Buttknuckle: GalFriday: unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.

My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.

With that voice, I want to hear his sexytime sounds.  HOT.


That would be the delicious icing on the already hot and sweaty cake.
 
2014-01-16 01:54:58 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: That was a high stakes battle. If the impersonator won, he would actually become Trace Adkins. This has been playing out over millennia.


"There can be only one, y'all."
 
2014-01-16 01:55:08 PM  

GalFriday: unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.

My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.


i1.cdnds.net

/He should have spun her like a ZZ Top guitar.
 
2014-01-16 01:57:47 PM  

cryinoutloud: suburbanguy: Um...sober people don't usually check into alcohol rehab.  Also, the non-TMZ link in TFA spells it all out for the slower students.

I read that. "A setback in his battle with alcoholism" could be anything. That's what publicists are paid to do--lie and obfuscate. And of course sober people check into rehab--if they've got the money, honey, the rehab has the time. Especially if they're celebrities. You don't have to be drugging, you just say that you're having personal problems and might relapse.

And if that's not good enough for you, I'm speaking from personal experience. People who have been sober for years generally don't just blow it because they didn't like their impersonator, all of a farking sudden. We probably would have heard something about him blowing his sobriety before this happened.

so piss off, there.


My alcoholic father has gone 5-10 years at a time and then goes off the rails for 2 years straight.  Has at least ten times.  And he was able to hide his drinking so well that when he was found half dead in his apartment people had a hard time believing this pilar of the community was a lush.

Trace was recently in my town and go rip roaring drunk and bought a local bar an entire round.
 
2014-01-16 01:59:15 PM  

internut scholar: HotWingConspiracy: That was a high stakes battle. If the impersonator won, he would actually become Trace Adkins. This has been playing out over millennia.

I LOL'ed


There can only be one......


It's like in the movies when the good guy is fighting the bad guy but no one knows which one to help because they are lookalikes, so the good guys friends starts asking them questions that only the good Trace would know.


"Shoot the real one!"
"But which one's the real one?"
"AW HELLWHUTCHOOYOUKNOWHOOOOIIIIIIAMMMMMMBOUTNOTHINSOMETHINGSHOWYOUWHATIMA WNGETFARRRDUPPENANDFFLZDKELRSMPTLLL..."
"That's the real one! Shoot the other one!"
 
2014-01-16 02:02:37 PM  

cryinoutloud: suburbanguy: Um...sober people don't usually check into alcohol rehab.  Also, the non-TMZ link in TFA spells it all out for the slower students.

I read that. "A setback in his battle with alcoholism" could be anything. That's what publicists are paid to do--lie and obfuscate. And of course sober people check into rehab--if they've got the money, honey, the rehab has the time. Especially if they're celebrities. You don't have to be drugging, you just say that you're having personal problems and might relapse.

And if that's not good enough for you, I'm speaking from personal experience. People who have been sober for years generally don't just blow it because they didn't like their impersonator, all of a farking sudden. We probably would have heard something about him blowing his sobriety before this happened.

so piss off, there.

http://www.ocala.com/article/20140115/APE/1401151005#gsc.tab=0

His publicist said he was boozing...
 
2014-01-16 02:03:53 PM  

cryinoutloud: suburbanguy: Um...sober people don't usually check into alcohol rehab.  Also, the non-TMZ link in TFA spells it all out for the slower students.

I read that. "A setback in his battle with alcoholism" could be anything. That's what publicists are paid to do--lie and obfuscate. And of course sober people check into rehab--if they've got the money, honey, the rehab has the time. Especially if they're celebrities. You don't have to be drugging, you just say that you're having personal problems and might relapse.

And if that's not good enough for you, I'm speaking from personal experience. People who have been sober for years generally don't just blow it because they didn't like their impersonator, all of a farking sudden. We probably would have heard something about him blowing his sobriety before this happened.

so piss off, there.


Yeah, this is totally a one time snap fall of the wagon. There's no way this could have been an extension of him slipping over the past short time. No way. We would have of that. Because he doesn't have publicists who are paid to lie and obfuscate to cover up his mishaps.

Listen, I didn't say he got wasted one night and then checked into rehab. I said he checked onto rehab because he's having alcohol issues. As supposed to being clean and sober. If he was having other problems, but was sober, he would have just said stress, personal, problems, whatever. I didn't say he snapped just once. Don't start a straw man argument that I did.
 
2014-01-16 02:16:40 PM  

GalFriday: unfarkingbelievable: GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.

Ewww. I wouldn't.

My god, I would.  All 6'6", dirty jeans and greasy hair.  I would do things to him that would make a hooker pray.


You sound awesome, girl! It's a matter of preference.  I like a darker, Mediterranean/Italian/Greek smoldering look. Black hair, brown eyes. I'm not really attracted to men with blonde hair and light eyes.
 
2014-01-16 02:52:34 PM  
imagizer.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-16 02:52:43 PM  
He looks like a caveman.
 
2014-01-16 03:15:42 PM  

GalFriday: I would let Trace Atkins do so many bad things to me.  So so so so many bad things.


I'd let him do even worse things to me.
 
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