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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   So you're standing in an Arby's bathroom stall during the dinner rush. You're covered in red dye, furiously trying to flush $5800 cash down the toilet and wondering why the hell you didn't check to see if the getaway car was working BEFORE the heist   (startribune.com) divider line 90
    More: Fail, Arby, bank robbery, bathrooms, Baugh  
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6401 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2014 at 5:57 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-15 04:36:07 PM
It's GOOD MOOD FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!
 
2014-01-15 04:41:08 PM
The risk/reward for bank robbery doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're going to be on camera, the police are certainly going to respond, and quickly, and you're looking at serious time if you're caught. All that for $5,800?
 
2014-01-15 05:00:36 PM
It's good to see some robbers doing things the old fashioned way.  Run in, point the gun at everyone, jump the counter and tie the bank managers hands behind their back while cleaning out the cash drawers.  Old school there.  Just needed a few gun shots and maybe a car chase to complete the cycle.  Still, a B for execution and a A for effort.  They could've took the easy way out and just handed the teller a note and walked away but nope, old school was the way to go.  I say, good for them.
 
2014-01-15 05:14:36 PM
oh lord, I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me.

5 star chef of tv dinners: It's good to see some robbers doing things the old fashioned way.  .



You had me until you said run. I'm not much of a runner
img21.imageshack.us
 
2014-01-15 05:39:32 PM
If I was going to rob a bank, I'd get a job in a Wall Street firm.

Then, instead of the cops chasing me, I'd get VPs clapping politely and a glass of bubbly.
 
2014-01-15 05:47:24 PM

TuteTibiImperes: The risk/reward for bank robbery doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're going to be on camera, the police are certainly going to respond, and quickly, and you're looking at serious time if you're caught. All that for $5,800?


It never was.  Most get caught and are sent to Fed prison for a long time.  Those that get away don't get much money.  Mostly, it's a stupid crime of desperation.
 
2014-01-15 05:52:44 PM

TheHighlandHowler: TuteTibiImperes: The risk/reward for bank robbery doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're going to be on camera, the police are certainly going to respond, and quickly, and you're looking at serious time if you're caught. All that for $5,800?

It never was.  Most get caught and are sent to Fed prison for a long time.  Those that get away don't get much money.  Mostly, it's a stupid crime of desperation.


Plus banks today don't have that much cash on hand, mine has signs up stating withdrawals of more than $5,000 require 48 hours notice.
 
2014-01-15 05:59:11 PM
www.imfdb.org
 
2014-01-15 06:01:28 PM
Just out of curiosity, is there any way to get that red dye out?

I witnessed a bank robbery once, and as the robber was running past the dye pack went off and started billowing out red smoke.

The robber ran down the street and into local neighborhoods and as far as I know, got away.
 
2014-01-15 06:03:43 PM
Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?
 
2014-01-15 06:05:10 PM

Anayalator: [www.imfdb.org image 500x270]


This is exactly what I was thinking.  Frankly I'm shocked it took this long for somebody to post it.
 
2014-01-15 06:05:24 PM
He was really busy in that bathroom.
 
2014-01-15 06:06:16 PM

Tom_Slick: Plus banks today don't have that much cash on hand


My bank seems to have little ATMs under the counter that only spit out money after the teller punches in all your information.  Hard to rob.
 
2014-01-15 06:06:23 PM
Not that I'd ever rob a bank, but if I did, I'd make damned sure that no dye pack got in the money bags.

Honestly, how do people not know to check for that now?

However, if I were the criminal type and looking to take a bunch of money that doesn't belong to me, I'd probably just become a preacher, "psychic" medium, or run for public office.
 
2014-01-15 06:06:26 PM

Tom_Slick: TheHighlandHowler: TuteTibiImperes: The risk/reward for bank robbery doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're going to be on camera, the police are certainly going to respond, and quickly, and you're looking at serious time if you're caught. All that for $5,800?

It never was.  Most get caught and are sent to Fed prison for a long time.  Those that get away don't get much money.  Mostly, it's a stupid crime of desperation.

Plus banks today don't have that much cash on hand, mine has signs up stating withdrawals of more than $5,000 require 48 hours notice.


So just call ahead.  Duh.
 
2014-01-15 06:10:06 PM
Maybe it's time for you to switch careers.

What I mean is, you don't seem to be a very good thief, maybe you should try something else.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-15 06:11:02 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?


Shy bladder syndrome.
A catheter.
A colostomy bag.
 
2014-01-15 06:11:03 PM

Glitchwerks: Just out of curiosity, is there any way to get that red dye out?


Well, you can bathe in tomato juice.

No, wait...that's if you're sprayed by a skunk.

Do you suppose we could get the banks to start using skunks?
 
2014-01-15 06:13:48 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?


As annoying as that is, I can understand if someone was using the urinal at the time and you didn't want to wait, or if you have a horrific deformity down there or whatever.

What I can't stand, however, are guys who insist on using the stall to pee and then PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT.

NOW NO ONE CAN USE IT, ASSHOLE! YOU'VE JUST TURNED IT INTO ANOTHER URINAL!
 
2014-01-15 06:15:08 PM
Tearise, Is that pronounced like "terrorize"? Or is it pronounced "tear eyes"?  Or is it "Tea Rise"?
 
2014-01-15 06:17:34 PM
Last time I was in an Arby's bathroom with $5,800 cash, furiously trying to clean up and flush the evidence I was covered in Horsey Sauce.

At least that's what I told the Vice Squad as they gently beat me into unconscious and booked me for soliciting.  I WANT TO CALL MY LAWYER!
 
2014-01-15 06:17:35 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?


During the last week when it was -30 or more, i was wearing three layers of pants. It was much quicker and easier to goto the stall and pull down all the layers then trying to get all the openings aligned while standing in front of the urinal.
 
2014-01-15 06:18:43 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?



Let's say there are two urinals and a stall.  When I walk in, both urinals are occupied, but the stall is not.  I move to urinate in the stall.  While I'm doing that, the two urinals become unoccupied.  Now there are open urinals while I urinate in a stall.  Then you walk in and question the size of my wee-wee.
 
2014-01-15 06:18:51 PM

Noam Chimpsky: Tearise, Is that pronounced like "terrorize"? Or is it pronounced "tear eyes"?  Or is it "Tea Rise"?


route60sentinel.com
Or maybe it's Tay-uh-Ree-Say.
 
2014-01-15 06:21:18 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-15 06:22:14 PM
I thought you said he was a getaway driver! What can he get away from?
 
2014-01-15 06:23:24 PM
Well-written headline, Subs. Solid +1 :)
 
2014-01-15 06:24:33 PM

doglover: If I was going to rob a bank, I'd get a job in a Wall Street firm.

Then, instead of the cops chasing me, I'd get VPs clapping politely and a glass of bubbly.


Why would you do that? You could get a sleazy suit from Goodwill and sell magic tap water to old people when your infomercial comes on at 3 in the morning.
 
2014-01-15 06:28:12 PM

FrancoFile: Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?

Shy bladder syndrome.
A catheter.
A colostomy bag.


Or: Some dude with a pony tail that likes to stand nice and close at the urinal. (He also doesn't wash his hands!)

I've never liked urinals, I've always been a stall man.
 
2014-01-15 06:30:12 PM
He could have pulled it off in a Burger King bathroom
 
2014-01-15 06:33:46 PM
If you're going to rob a bank, you're better off doing it the smart way by becoming bank President and buying off some politicians first.

You can ask the Bush family about that one.
 
2014-01-15 06:34:10 PM

5 star chef of tv dinners: It's good to see some robbers doing things the old fashioned way.  Run in, point the gun at everyone, jump the counter and tie the bank managers hands behind their back while cleaning out the cash drawers.  Old school there.  Just needed a few gun shots and maybe a car chase to complete the cycle.  Still, a B for execution and a A for effort.  They could've took the easy way out and just handed the teller a note and walked away but nope, old school was the way to go.  I say, good for them.


www.3ammagazine.com
 
2014-01-15 06:35:35 PM

MagSeven: He was really busy in that bathroom.


Stop what you're doin.
 
2014-01-15 06:35:41 PM

Noam Chimpsky: Tearise, Is that pronounced like "terrorize"? Or is it pronounced "tear eyes"?  Or is it "Tea Rise"?


Having dated a girl with a similar name (though not the same), I'm certain the pronounciation is

tare - ees

"tare" rhymes with "bear"
"ees" rhymes with "geese"
 
2014-01-15 06:37:57 PM

Glitchwerks: Just out of curiosity, is there any way to get that red dye out?

I witnessed a bank robbery once, and as the robber was running past the dye pack went off and started billowing out red smoke.

The robber ran down the street and into local neighborhoods and as far as I know, got away.


What about his minky?
 
2014-01-15 06:38:19 PM
Flush it down the toliet?  A real bad-ass would have started the cash on fire in the bathroom then ran off.

Plus, If you get away the police will be pretty busy putting out the eternal grease fire you just started.
 
2014-01-15 06:40:00 PM

Don the Plastic Shroud: Let's say there are two urinals and a stall.  When I walk in, both urinals are occupied, but the stall is not.  I move to urinate in the stall.  While I'm doing that, the two urinals become unoccupied.  Now there are open urinals while I urinate in a stall.  Then you walk in and question the size of my wee-wee.


Also, if they stand outside the stall, waiting to use it, I piss all over the seat to get back at them for judging my wee-wee.
 
2014-01-15 06:40:00 PM
Could have been worse.

He could have tried to "blend in" by first eating at Arbys, before retiring to the bathroom for his currency and intestinal distress.
 
2014-01-15 06:40:12 PM

5 star chef of tv dinners: It's good to see some robbers doing things the old fashioned way.  Run in, point the gun at everyone, jump the counter and tie the bank managers hands behind their back while cleaning out the cash drawers.  Old school there.  Just needed a few gun shots and maybe a car chase to complete the cycle.  Still, a B for execution and a A for effort.  They could've took the easy way out and just handed the teller a note and walked away but nope, old school was the way to go.  I say, good for them.


Still amateurs though. They should have left the car running. You never switch of the engine when you do a heist for the exact reason that the engine might not start when you need it to start.

And they didn't have a backup plan...
 
2014-01-15 06:40:46 PM

ZeroCorpse: Noam Chimpsky: Tearise, Is that pronounced like "terrorize"? Or is it pronounced "tear eyes"?  Or is it "Tea Rise"?

Having dated a girl with a similar name (though not the same), I'm certain the pronounciation is

tare - ees

"tare" rhymes with "bear"
"ees" rhymes with "geese"


Fark it. Just call him T-bag.
 
2014-01-15 06:41:32 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-15 06:45:35 PM

weapon13: 5 star chef of tv dinners: It's good to see some robbers doing things the old fashioned way.  Run in, point the gun at everyone, jump the counter and tie the bank managers hands behind their back while cleaning out the cash drawers.  Old school there.  Just needed a few gun shots and maybe a car chase to complete the cycle.  Still, a B for execution and a A for effort.  They could've took the easy way out and just handed the teller a note and walked away but nope, old school was the way to go.  I say, good for them.

Still amateurs though. They should have left the car running. You never switch of the engine when you do a heist for the exact reason that the engine might not start when you need it to start.

And they didn't have a backup plan...


Backup plan?  Their plan was flawless, they didn't need a backup plan!

/Assume getting caught in an Arby's bathroom was part of the plan.
//You know what they say about "Assume"....
 
2014-01-15 06:49:09 PM
Now his boyfriend will never be able to afford that sex change operation. ATTICA! ATTICA!
 
2014-01-15 06:50:34 PM
Mmm, I'm thinkin Arby's
 
2014-01-15 06:51:32 PM
Fun fact: Arby's stands for,"America's Roast Beef Yes Sir"

/the more you know
 
2014-01-15 06:54:02 PM
I remember reading avg haul is less than 7K. So you're an idiot if you rob a bank. A smart person works for the bank and does standard white collar crime so they don't do time. Look at all of that stuff BOA and the rest did. Heck most of it wasn't illegal, and if it is illegal, you just pay a fine that is much less than you stole. Step 3. profit by the boatload.

/exception: There are places that do transport and what not that are holding millions in cash.
 
2014-01-15 06:54:44 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?


I don't always use urinals due to the splash back of a lot of urinals.  Nothing like piss splattered pants!  And if I have to stand toilet far away from the urinal I might as well piss in the toilet!
 
2014-01-15 06:56:31 PM

Mark Ratner: Fun fact: Arby's stands for,"America's Roast Beef Yes Sir"

/the more you know


My mother moved to the US from Iceland in 1972, and apparently the Arby's jingle was the first American advertising that she heard.  To this day, if she see's an Arby's, she sings it.  "I had Arby's today, and if I had my way, I'd have it everyday!"

/She sings it with more gusto...
 
2014-01-15 06:59:39 PM

TuteTibiImperes: The risk/reward for bank robbery doesn't seem to make sense anymore. You're going to be on camera, the police are certainly going to respond, and quickly, and you're looking at serious time if you're caught. All that for $5,800?


Split three ways, don't forget.
 
2014-01-15 07:01:13 PM

Perducci: Semi-related rant:
One of my pet peeves is guys who stand in bathroom stalls.  If you're just peeing, use the damn urinal. Get out of the way of the guys who actually need the stall.  What's the matter...?  Afraid the rest of us will make fun of your tiny wee-wee?


Well if you're really taking that much interest in what another guy is doing in the stall maybe you are trying to look at wee wees
 
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