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(Quartz)   How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse   (qz.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Francois Hollande  
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4255 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2014 at 6:33 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-15 04:28:43 PM  
How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse surrender
 
2014-01-15 04:48:36 PM  
beat me to it.
 
2014-01-15 05:30:20 PM  

DanZero: How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse surrender


dammit
 
2014-01-15 05:54:23 PM  
Nobody cares except the Presidential Lectern Cleaner...

Why's that?

Do you know how demeaning it is to have to remove Holland Dais Sauce?
 
2014-01-15 05:58:13 PM  
It's not cheating if you're French.
 
2014-01-15 06:09:18 PM  
I'm pretty sure one of the French first ladies feels scorned.
 
2014-01-15 06:17:23 PM  

doglover: It's not cheating if you're French.


To cheat is French. To get caught is American.
 
2014-01-15 06:28:09 PM  
I gotta get my ass a spouse, I guess.
 
2014-01-15 06:35:49 PM  
Promises? fark'em.
 
2014-01-15 06:36:27 PM  
What does two out of three make me?
 
2014-01-15 06:36:54 PM  

brap: Nobody cares except the Presidential Lectern Cleaner...

Why's that?

Do you know how demeaning it is to have to remove Holland Dais Sauce?


*groan*
 
2014-01-15 06:40:12 PM  

DanZero: How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse surrender


Did you hear? The French have a new flag. It's a single white star set on a white background.
 
2014-01-15 06:41:17 PM  
Check check check.

Guess I'm French.
 
2014-01-15 06:44:23 PM  
Hollande is a worthless POS. But, all french are, except the whores.
 
2014-01-15 06:45:14 PM  

brap: Nobody cares except the Presidential Lectern Cleaner...

Why's that?

Do you know how demeaning it is to have to remove Holland Dais Sauce?


Not enough people saying anything. You are a shiatty joke god for that.
 
2014-01-15 06:45:52 PM  
How can I hate the French when they have such cute women. Besides, they gave us Alizee.
 
2014-01-15 06:46:29 PM  
"Always late" - that is so true. It's actually shocking when one the French team members are in the phone or in the meeting on time. Drives my Japanese coworkers nuts.
 
2014-01-15 06:49:25 PM  

jigger: Promises? fark'em.



thatsafairpoint.com

"If your wife cant trust you... why should I?"


doglover: It's not cheating if you're French.



And male.

/ you gotta have some boundaries
 
2014-01-15 07:02:30 PM  
img.fark.net

Fronch Dressing, and Fronch Fries and Fronch bread!

And to drink we have Peru!
 
2014-01-15 07:04:35 PM  
The French are so weird. They really don't care about affairs even though the person being cheated on gets hurt. But heaven forbid you walk into any place and don't say Bonjour, then you're a farking rude cretin. Really. I walked into a Paris shop and didn't greet anyone so got no service. Strange what the French priorities are.
 
2014-01-15 07:09:45 PM  
Works in wisconsin to. Also works with beer
 
2014-01-15 07:21:57 PM  
Wow, Dad really had it down. WTG old man. Living up to your genes.
 
TWX
2014-01-15 07:22:05 PM  

MechaPyx: How can I hate the French when they have such cute women. Besides, they gave us Alizee.


Try visiting them.
 
2014-01-15 07:23:43 PM  
Well, it's hard not to cheat with all the 'surrendering' they do to each other...
 
2014-01-15 07:23:46 PM  
Mais Non! C'est cheese, late, et a younger man.
 
2014-01-15 07:27:36 PM  
They also don't shower, and the women don't shave their arm pits and legs. So, they have that going for themselves, which is totes mcgross.
 
2014-01-15 07:29:14 PM  

TWX: MechaPyx: How can I hate the French when they have such cute women. Besides, they gave us Alizee.

Try visiting them.


Can't be any worse than any random city in the US.
/shrug
 
2014-01-15 07:32:07 PM  
I've got one of the 3..

Mmm. Cheese.
 
2014-01-15 07:43:45 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: What does two out of three make me?


Lactose intolerant?
 
2014-01-15 07:52:06 PM  

skinink: They really don't care about affairs even though the person being cheated on gets hurt.


So the way I've heard is explained is this:  Your wife is for position.  Your mistress is for pleasure.

So for a really good example of this, see General Petraeus.  Marries high military family, boinks crazy-eyes author on the side.
 
2014-01-15 07:55:31 PM  
Behold, the power of Frenchness!
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-15 08:03:41 PM  
Done in one.
 
2014-01-15 08:12:00 PM  

DanZero: How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse surrender


Done in one!!!
 
2014-01-15 08:14:27 PM  
My wife and girlfriend agree with this.

/Half French
 
2014-01-15 08:15:06 PM  
It's not cheating, it's surrendering to love.
 
2014-01-15 08:18:25 PM  

I_C_Weener: doglover: It's not cheating if you're French.

To cheat is French. To get caught assume its everybody's business is American.


From my experiences with French friends and French culture they are fantatics when it comes to privacy.
  
/vaguely remember a study that said they cheat less than the US
//they're just less likely to make a public spectacle out of it
 
2014-01-15 08:20:52 PM  

TomD9938: jigger: Promises? fark'em.

"If your wife cant trust you... why should I?"


doglover: It's not cheating if you're French.


And male.

/ you gotta have some boundaries


Perot? French. Way back anyway.
 
2014-01-15 08:25:35 PM  
Life's complicated. The vagaries of politician's love life are utterly irrelevant to his/her abilities as a political leader.

/Does not apply when you let it interfere with your job, or  when actual criminal behavior is involved.
//Looking at you, DSK.
 
2014-01-15 08:37:57 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: What does two out of three make me?


Depends which two, good-lookink no-goodnik.

Eats cheese, cheats on wife: Dutch.
Eats cheese, arrives late:  Italian.
Arrives late, cheats on wife (wives):  African.
Eats cheese, cheats on wife:  American

If you just eat the cheese, you're a Wisconsinite.
If you just arrive late, you're Indian (sub-continental)
 
2014-01-15 08:40:22 PM  
No mention of Alizee or the French weather lady Melissa Theuriau ?
/time has marched on
 
2014-01-15 08:44:06 PM  
The French are républicains. They don't really care who one of their own sleeps with as long as he doesn't try to collect taxes.

But there are rules. You can't flaunt your mistress and you can't install her under the same roof as your wife. That's just common sense. Your wife and your mistress will either fight like cats and dogs or else make cause commune against you. Most likely the later. As the French say, your carrots are cooked if it is the latter.
 
2014-01-15 08:50:09 PM  

SBWorks: "Always late" - that is so true. It's actually shocking when one the French team members are in the phone or in the meeting on time. Drives my Japanese coworkers nuts.


Yes, I've noticed that as well. And the cheese. And the wine. And the complaining about the myriad ways in which Britain is clearly inferior to France, which is the Greatest Country in the World.

Don't get me wrong, they really are lovely people as long as you're patient and a bit thick-skinned.
 
2014-01-15 08:59:53 PM  

brantgoose: The French are républicains. They don't really care who one of their own sleeps with as long as he doesn't try to collect taxes.

But there are rules. You can't flaunt your mistress and you can't install her under the same roof as your wife. That's just common sense. Your wife and your mistress will either fight like cats and dogs or else make cause commune against you. Most likely the later. As the French say, your carrots are cooked if it is the latter.


img.fark.net

What an American républicain might look like?
 
2014-01-15 09:01:38 PM  

BigOle8point: What an American républicain might look like?


Got damn, that one hit every branch on the tree when she fell out...
 
2014-01-15 09:15:12 PM  
Did anyone mention

Fight with your feet and fark with your face

yet?
 
2014-01-15 09:19:30 PM  

I_C_Weener: doglover: It's not cheating if you're French.

To cheat is French. To get caught is American.


To get all weird and guilty about it is American. And to get busted or confess, thereby making your spouse feel bad for something you did is American, too. The truly enlightened answer, the European one, is just to bear all those bad feelings in silence, and not burden your innocent spouse. You cheated without your spouse, so bear the burden alone, too.
 
2014-01-15 09:22:14 PM  
The key is to have enough money to keep the wife and GF both happy. Emotions don't kick in until the wife can't get her Botox, and the GF can't buy her Manolo Blahniks.
 
2014-01-15 09:40:22 PM  
I was watching TV and they were interviewing a French woman about what they thought of the whole situation.  The woman said something like "There's a difference between us French and you Americans.  In America, if a politician lies about an affair, it's a very bad thing.  In France, if a politician lies about an affair, it's a very bad thing, but less so."
 
2014-01-15 09:42:58 PM  
I think it'd be impossible for every french man to have a mistress unless there is a 2:1 ratio of women to men there
 
2014-01-15 10:04:09 PM  

BigOle8point: brantgoose: The French are républicains. They don't really care who one of their own sleeps with as long as he doesn't try to collect taxes.

But there are rules. You can't flaunt your mistress and you can't install her under the same roof as your wife. That's just common sense. Your wife and your mistress will either fight like cats and dogs or else make cause commune against you. Most likely the later. As the French say, your carrots are cooked if it is the latter.

[img.fark.net image 300x400]

What an American républicain might look like?


Given the above "rules", no.
 
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