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(   The pickup lines you're totally getting wrong, dude   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

9615 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2014 at 3:12 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

171 Comments     (+0 »)
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2014-01-15 02:21:15 PM  
Is heaven missing an angel? Because I've got an erection.
2014-01-15 02:23:12 PM  
1. Do you come here often?
Mr Diecke said this was the oldest and most overused line in the book

I thought it was 'lookest over there'
2014-01-15 02:33:30 PM  
Does this vodka taste like roofies to you?
2014-01-15 02:42:42 PM  
Hey babe are you a journalist....

because this article is farking shiat. here. look at how farking shiat it is. jesus. shiat.
2014-01-15 02:56:26 PM  
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because if you do I could really use one. I think I have something in my teeth.

Are those space pants? Because my apartment has very low atmospheric pressure and if they are not things could get uncomfortable.
2014-01-15 03:04:04 PM  
"Does this rag smell like chloroform?"
2014-01-15 03:05:40 PM  
Did you fall out of heaven?
Because your face is all f*cked up.
2014-01-15 03:07:17 PM  
1) Be attractive.
2) Don't be unattractive.
2014-01-15 03:12:29 PM  
Pickup lines are for amateurs. I don't have to say a word...

chattahbox.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:14:08 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Pickup lines are for amateurs. I don't have to say a word...

[ image 850x637]

2014-01-15 03:16:39 PM  

Ghastly: Is heaven missing an angel? Because I've got an erection.

Came for the Robot Chicken quote or similar, leaving satisfied.
2014-01-15 03:16:52 PM  
This is going to be hilarious.
2014-01-15 03:17:16 PM  
Do you come here often? Because I did with your best friend in the bathroom...
2014-01-15 03:17:45 PM  
Hey babe,

I live in a 31 story high rise condominium, right in the middle of the Buckhead nightlife district. Do you ever come to this area of town to shop/go out/visit/explore?

I went to an Ivy League school - the University of Pennsylvania - for my undergraduate degree in economics and my graduate degree in management (Wharton School of Business). Where did you go to school?

What activities do you currently participate in to stay in shape? I work out 4 times a week at LA Fitness. Do you exercise regularly? I usually have to be there in 26 minutes.

I am 6 feet tall, 185 pounds - what about yourself? I am truly sorry if that sounds rude, impolite or even downright crass, but I have been deceived before by inaccurate representations so I prefer someone be upfront and honest on initial contact...

I do mergers & acquisitions (corporate finance) for Limited Brands (Bath & Body Works, Victoria's Secret, etc). Enjoy any of our stores/divisions?
Do you have any other recent pictures you care to share? I have many others if you care to see them.
clatl.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:18:02 PM  
Is your father a thief? Cuz that's totally my Volkswagon.
2014-01-15 03:18:13 PM  
it rubs the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again.
2014-01-15 03:18:19 PM  
Hey! Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet. Seriously!


You want to see my spaceship?

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:18:52 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:19:22 PM  
An old, wise friend of mine (who reads fark and would probably take offense with both "old" and "wise") once told me that if a pickup line works, you didn't need the pickup line.  I've tried hard to live by that motto.
2014-01-15 03:19:24 PM  
Go away, I'm drinking.
2014-01-15 03:19:39 PM  
Hey babe, are you from Memphis?  Because I'm not particularly attracted to southerners, but I might make an exception in your case.
2014-01-15 03:19:56 PM  
Watch out ladies! I got a new play book!
2014-01-15 03:19:58 PM  
"hey slut, you like you are just gaggin for the D"  - classic works all the time.
2014-01-15 03:20:14 PM  
Excuse me, but would you like a worm-do?
2014-01-15 03:20:15 PM  

Tigger: Hey babe are you a journalist....

because this article is farking shiat. here. look at how farking shiat it is. jesus. shiat.

2014-01-15 03:20:20 PM  
mine is usually.

Hey, nice snowtires. Mind if I jerk off on your tits
2014-01-15 03:21:06 PM  
Woman sense my power and are naturally drawn to me.  I allow them to make their pitch but only the best are may come close and few still receive my spirit.
2014-01-15 03:21:13 PM  
"Women are born lie doctors"

WTF is a lie doctor?
2014-01-15 03:21:35 PM  
When going with a simple approach of saying "Hi, how's it going?" I always run out of things to say shortly after that, which leads to....umm "So you come here often?"
2014-01-15 03:21:51 PM  
content8.flixster.comView Full Size

You know what time it is? It's F__K TIME!
2014-01-15 03:21:55 PM  
chainsawsuit.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:22:03 PM  
I'll bet you bang like a screen door in a hurricane!

2014-01-15 03:22:21 PM  
"Wanna come back to my place and do coke and fark all night?"

/surprisingly effective
2014-01-15 03:22:25 PM  
Free candy over here!
2014-01-15 03:23:00 PM  
"Hello ladies...So, have either of you ever been penetrated?"

2014-01-15 03:23:20 PM  

Toma mas: Excuse me, but would you like a worm-do?

What's that then?
2014-01-15 03:23:35 PM  

Salmon: "Women are born lie doctors"

WTF is a lie doctor?

When they lie down with you for treatment. I pay for them all the time.
2014-01-15 03:25:19 PM  
So I guess a blow job is out of the question.
2014-01-15 03:25:26 PM  

Salmon: WTF is a lie doctor?

static3.bornrichimages.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:25:55 PM  
Don't be afraid to stare at their tits while spewing your old broken lines either.  Also, gyrating your hips back and forth violently (to simulate sex) shows her you can really cut up a rug.
2014-01-15 03:26:03 PM  
Two girls at the bar. One is cute and one is chubby. I sent the cute one a shot. I sent the chubby one a ham sandwich.

/left alone
2014-01-15 03:26:05 PM  
Just the tip?
2014-01-15 03:26:13 PM  
Well, you could give me a hand job in the girls' locker room.

zuguide.comView Full Size
2014-01-15 03:26:51 PM  
Me- What would you do with a million bucks?

them- (some inane answer you dont have to listen because you dont care)

Me- "everybody wants a million bucks but I'd rather have a million days with you" then ask them if they're ready to leave with you.

 It makes the panties fall off! YMMV. Works better when they're stupid or drunk or both. It helps if youre attractive too so don't be unattractive.

/always  wear a condom...if they ask you too.
2014-01-15 03:28:28 PM  
There are guys who think that complimenting a woman's shoes is a good way to pick her up? Really? It's a good way to get her to wonder if you're gay.

//Unless it's one of the guys in my running group complimenting my new Mizunos.
2014-01-15 03:29:23 PM  
But "If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little" is still cool right?
2014-01-15 03:29:43 PM  
"You've got nice hair or great shoes."

I want to use this line verbatim.

"You're really hot, come here."

Nothing turns on the ladies more than being evaluated solely by looks and being ordered around.
2014-01-15 03:29:48 PM  
"Do you come here often? " i think these days, while still being a pick-up line, is recognized by both parties as being used ironically and an attempt at humor. Everyone knows its pure cheese
2014-01-15 03:29:55 PM  
Wanna get a pizza and go fark?   What?  You don't like pizza?
2014-01-15 03:30:34 PM  
Mr Diecke said not only did it risk coming across as sleazy but also unoriginal and will make "you look like a big potato" rather than a fun and interesting guy.

 New Fark cliche in 3, 2...
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