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(Slate)   A guide on how to talk to a woman without complimenting her hair or clothes. Uhhh...."nice ass?" Oh, hold on, it's a guide for women talking to other women. Uhhh..."do you like girls?"   (slate.com) divider line 103
    More: Amusing, Nice Ass, clothing, hair  
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5229 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2014 at 3:32 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-15 01:19:59 PM
please go green please go green please go green
 
2014-01-15 01:42:44 PM
How young are you?

Really? Asking a little kid how old they are is cute and appropriate. Asking an adult how old they are (even couched in a barfingly-cutesy way by replacing the world old with young) is ridiculous. I hope anyone who thinks this is a good idea gets responses like "28 and three quarters" or "422 months".
 
2014-01-15 01:53:41 PM

exick: How young are you?

Really? Asking a little kid how old they are is cute and appropriate. Asking an adult how old they are (even couched in a barfingly-cutesy way by replacing the world old with young) is ridiculous. I hope anyone who thinks this is a good idea gets responses like "28 and three quarters" or "422 months".


This article has everything: not only is the premise flawed but the author gives what is mostly catastrophically bad advice and to top everything off, it's pretty sexist.
 
2014-01-15 03:21:35 PM
"Speak in small words, no more than 2 syllables. Otherwise you risk confusion, fear and a fight-or-flight response, causing them to expand their neck frill and spit corrosive venom toward your eyes. This is no way to gain access to their fertile oviducts."
 
2014-01-15 03:31:29 PM
Wanta go for tacos?
 
2014-01-15 03:31:45 PM
"What's your favourite political cause?"  Seriously?

"What's your favourite wearable technology?"  "My IUD. fark off."
 
2014-01-15 03:35:23 PM
The key is to be unreasonably catty to an unsuspecting third woman on the other side of the room.
 
2014-01-15 03:35:43 PM
"Why, no. That skirt hardly makes your ass look big at all."
 
2014-01-15 03:36:56 PM
Just tell her all the women she hates at work are jealous.
 
2014-01-15 03:38:33 PM
What to do if you see a Woman

If It Does Not Approach
If spotted in the distance, do not approach the woman. Make a wide detour or leave the area immediately.
If you are at close range, do not approach the woman.  Remain calm, keep it in view.  Avoid direct eye contact.  Move away without running.

If the Woman Approaches
If the woman is standing up, it is usually trying to identify you.  Talk softly so it knows what you are.  If it is snapping its jaws, lowering its head, growling or making 'woofing' signs, it is displaying aggression.
Do not run unless you are very close to a secure place.  Move away, keeping it in view.  Avoid direct eye contact.  Dropping something may distract it to give you more time.  If it is a large woman, consider climbing a tree.
 
2014-01-15 03:39:23 PM
Nice article, there, Katy Waldman! My favorite part was how you paraphrased or block-quoted virtually every part of Kasey Edwards' article, then added a paragraph to make it seem as if you were commenting on it rather than just reposting it in its entirety. Journalism!

/That's how you talk to a woman who deserves to be talked to like that.
 
2014-01-15 03:39:40 PM
"How to Talk to a Woman Without Saying, "Great Boots!": A Guide for Women"

How about...

1. Nice flannel shirt.
2. Cool pickup truck.
3. Hey, are those your golf clubs?

/Whatdya bench?
 
2014-01-15 03:40:44 PM

JackieRabbit: "Why, no. That skirt hardly makes your ass look big at all."


"And your sleeveless blouse totally isn't highlighting your nasty lunch lady arms and is very flattering"
 
2014-01-15 03:40:57 PM
You like fish...?


You look like you like pudding... cause you're fat.
 
2014-01-15 03:41:18 PM
"Anecdata"

Is this a word now? Is it a synonym for confirmation bias?
 
2014-01-15 03:41:21 PM
After initiating prolonged eye contact proceed to shouting, "Men, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em, right!?" followed by a hardy slap on the breasts. You have now successfully infiltrated the human female sisterhood. Now, onto preparing for the Harvesting...
 
2014-01-15 03:41:37 PM
Do you REALLY want to engage a 4 year old about her thoughts and interests?

"So... how's the old 401k doin?"
 
2014-01-15 03:42:28 PM
I read this and shook my head.  Yeah, men tend to fall back on sports - but that's a non-personal topic.

If you're at a professional function, ask "who do you work for/what do you do/how long have you been in the field/which breakout session did you attend/etc"
If you're at a social function, ask "how do you know the bride/have you known the Smith's long/isn't Joe a great host/i love the decor, don't you/have you been to other embassy parties here/what did you think of the 1st act of the opera/etc"
If you're in the park or at a bookstore or whatever "nice weather, isn't it/do you know if they have scones at the coffee bar/I wish they had more comfortable chairs, don't you/etc"
And for children, "have you seen any squirrels in the park today/are you having fun/did you ride the carousel/etc"

tl;dr, ask questions that draw someone out, prompt them to express their opinions and thoughts, or create a second-hand connection between you that you can further explore.
 
2014-01-15 03:42:57 PM
I was wondering if those are real, can I check?... it's the other women over there that were asking.
 
2014-01-15 03:44:05 PM
It's fun when I go out with my roomate to bars and listen to the guys hit on her it can be amusing to downright creepy.
 
2014-01-15 03:44:09 PM
I really like the juxtaposition of Santa complimenting a girl on what she is wearing vs. talking about reindeer to the boy.  So, Santa actually pays attention to something about the girl, while basically just blowing off the boy with small talk that relates to nothing, and it's awful to the poor girl.
 
2014-01-15 03:45:38 PM

cgraves67: "Anecdata"

Is this a word now? Is it a synonym for confirmation bias?


Basically.  It's the evidence relied on by mommybloggers, anti-vaxxers, and other internet experts, and it proves they're completely right, even if those so-called "scientists" don't accept it.
 
2014-01-15 03:47:11 PM
So if I notice a change in hairstyle, is it okay to compliment a stranger or casual acquaintance or coworker?

Because I do it just as freely in complimenting men, but it feels potentially sexist if I say it to a woman...

"Nice tie" is different from "nice skirt", I certainly understand, but what are the parameters?

/DNRTA
 
2014-01-15 03:49:03 PM
Chicks f*cking suck.

And not in the good way.
 
2014-01-15 03:49:58 PM

Voiceofreason01: exick: How young are you?

Really? Asking a little kid how old they are is cute and appropriate. Asking an adult how old they are (even couched in a barfingly-cutesy way by replacing the world old with young) is ridiculous. I hope anyone who thinks this is a good idea gets responses like "28 and three quarters" or "422 months".

This article has everything: not only is the premise flawed but the author gives what is mostly catastrophically bad advice and to top everything off, it's pretty sexist.


Have you ever listened to women snipe about each other? Holy cow! I thought guys were mean / sexist until I had to install a network in an office that was almost all women.

/some of the stuff said no guy would say
//women are most vicious toward each other
 
2014-01-15 03:51:03 PM

megarian: Chicks f*cking suck.

And not in the good way.


hey you.
 
2014-01-15 03:51:50 PM

thaduke: What to do if you see a Woman

If It Does Not Approach
If spotted in the distance, do not approach the woman. Make a wide detour or leave the area immediately.
If you are at close range, do not approach the woman.  Remain calm, keep it in view.  Avoid direct eye contact.  Move away without running.

If the Woman Approaches
If the woman is standing up, it is usually trying to identify you.  Talk softly so it knows what you are.  If it is snapping its jaws, lowering its head, growling or making 'woofing' signs, it is displaying aggression.
Do not run unless you are very close to a secure place.  Move away, keeping it in view.  Avoid direct eye contact.  Dropping something may distract it to give you more time.  If it is a large woman, consider climbing a tree.


best. advice. ever.
 
2014-01-15 03:57:09 PM
I am often inspired by other women and it's easy for me to give a respectful and most important, authentic compliment. There's a lot of women who are stylish and beautiful. When women compliment me on something I'm wearing or my hair or makeup, it's nice.
 
2014-01-15 03:57:27 PM

Far Cough: So if I notice a change in hairstyle, is it okay to compliment a stranger or casual acquaintance or coworker?

Because I do it just as freely in complimenting men, but it feels potentially sexist if I say it to a woman...

"Nice tie" is different from "nice skirt", I certainly understand, but what are the parameters?

/DNRTA


I just plain and simple do not compliment women at work on their appearance or clothing in any way, shape or form.  I ain't risking that sexual harassment complaint!

/could you imagine a man saying to a woman, "wow, those are really nice heels"?
//you just became the office creep
 
2014-01-15 03:57:29 PM
I got on the elevator the other day and the woman next o me said 'Can I smell your balls?' I said 'No' and she said 'Oh, it must be your feet then'.
 
2014-01-15 03:59:18 PM
LOL,love the headline subby, and now that I read some of the comments, I guess I'll have to read this train wreck of a story.
 
2014-01-15 03:59:51 PM
Edwards offers a few suggestions for how to break the ice with preschool girls in a way that doesn't spotlight their physical cuteness

Why do you need to break the ice with a kid? They might look like minature people, but they aren't really anything like adults and you should treat them accordingly.
 
2014-01-15 04:00:07 PM
"Hello, I'm an asshole" worked for me at a NJ Fark party.  That was around 5 years ago.  We just got married last year.

It's remarkable how effective honesty can be.
 
2014-01-15 04:00:16 PM

fortheloveofgod: /could you imagine a man saying to a woman, "wow, those are really nice heels"?
//you just became the office creep


You may be the one with the problem
 
2014-01-15 04:00:18 PM

unfarkingbelievable: I am often inspired by other women and it's easy for me to give a respectful and most important, authentic compliment. There's a lot of women who are stylish and beautiful. When women compliment me on something I'm wearing or my hair or makeup, it's nice.


It's called having self-esteem and self-respect. :)
 
2014-01-15 04:01:28 PM
So just who isn't offending white women these days?
 
2014-01-15 04:01:54 PM
"How much does your poo weigh, on average?"
 
2014-01-15 04:05:16 PM

lockers: Edwards offers a few suggestions for how to break the ice with preschool girls in a way that doesn't spotlight their physical cuteness

Why do you need to break the ice with a kid? They might look like minature people, but they aren't really anything like adults and you should treat them accordingly.


Er, kids are miniature people.

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-15 04:06:18 PM

tmyk: "Hello, I'm an asshole" worked for me at a NJ Fark party.  That was around 5 years ago.  We just got married last year.

It's remarkable how effective honesty can be.


I'm also apparently an idiot since this belonged in the pick-up line thread.  Ah well...
 
2014-01-15 04:07:18 PM

you_idiot: "How much does your poo weigh, on average?"


I recommend not talking to anyone, for any reason. If someone tries to rope you into a conversation, point over their shoulder and run as soon as they turn to look. That, or throw smoke grenades.
 
2014-01-15 04:08:49 PM

PanicMan: you_idiot: "How much does your poo weigh, on average?"

I recommend not talking to anyone, for any reason. If someone tries to rope you into a conversation, point over their shoulder and run as soon as they turn to look. That, or throw smoke grenades.


Oops, that wasn't meant as a reply to you, just a general piece of advice. Which I apparently should have taken.
 
2014-01-15 04:13:23 PM

tmyk: tmyk: "Hello, I'm an asshole" worked for me at a NJ Fark party.  That was around 5 years ago.  We just got married last year.

It's remarkable how effective honesty can be.

I'm also apparently an idiot since this belonged in the pick-up line thread.  Ah well...


No, it was so very, very perfect.
 
2014-01-15 04:15:50 PM

Wangiss: tmyk: tmyk: "Hello, I'm an asshole" worked for me at a NJ Fark party.  That was around 5 years ago.  We just got married last year.

It's remarkable how effective honesty can be.

I'm also apparently an idiot since this belonged in the pick-up line thread.  Ah well...

No, it was so very, very perfect.


Yup.  Organic, even.
 
2014-01-15 04:18:16 PM

A Leaf in Fall: I really like the juxtaposition of Santa complimenting a girl on what she is wearing vs. talking about reindeer to the boy.  So, Santa actually pays attention to something about the girl, while basically just blowing off the boy with small talk that relates to nothing, and it's awful to the poor girl.


Well, it's really about an overall pattern: appearance is the subject of compliments toward little girls a pretty big majority of the time. Which is kinda sexist and really contributes to ... Oh, eff it. This thread is gonna be a trainwreck anyway. Have at it.
 
2014-01-15 04:19:23 PM

you_idiot: "How much does your poo weigh, on average?"


"I'd say usually around 2lbs, but I'm on a new diet where I don't have to weigh it every day."
 
2014-01-15 04:19:42 PM

PanicMan: PanicMan: you_idiot: "How much does your poo weigh, on average?"

I recommend not talking to anyone, for any reason. If someone tries to rope you into a conversation, point over their shoulder and run as soon as they turn to look. That, or throw smoke grenades.

Oops, that wasn't meant as a reply to you, just a general piece of advice. Which I apparently should have taken.


You must have panicked, man.
 
2014-01-15 04:20:50 PM
Article is bullshiat.
 
2014-01-15 04:20:57 PM

you_idiot: "How much does your poo weigh, on average?"


You don't jump to something so personal so quickly.  You need to begin with something more like "You look so much thinner than your mom.  Are you sure you are related?"
 
2014-01-15 04:23:39 PM

Voiceofreason01: This article has everything: not only is the premise flawed but the author gives what is mostly catastrophically bad advice and to top everything off, it's pretty sexist.


I agree that it is a terrible article, but for some reason women are expected to complement other women as part of regular casual social interaction, such as between co-workers.  

I don't really understand it, but not handing out empty compliments can lead to annoying friction when dealing with some women who seem to expect it.   I don't understand why "hey, how's it going?" isn't enough to maintain a polite relationshipwith somewomen, but it really isn't.  This author's explanation for how little girls are socialized is as good as any.

I have had many strangers try to start conversations with me by complementing my looks or clothes, which I find awkward because once the compliment is paid I don't have anything to say about my clothes.  I much prefer to start conversations with "so what do you do?"  It leads to more interesting topics.
 
2014-01-15 04:25:31 PM
I see you're drinking 2%. Is that because you think you're fat? You could totally drink whole milk
 
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