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(Deadspin)   Cleveland held hostage, day 17: Browns are now the last team without a head coach. Fans gathering pitchforks and torches. Owner sends out letter. Paraphrase: "All is well ALL IS WELL"   (deadspin.com) divider line 81
    More: Followup, Browns, held hostage, head coaches, Rob Chudzinski, football team, owners, cap room  
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719 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 Jan 2014 at 2:34 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-15 12:44:20 PM
Does it actually matter whether the Browns have a head coach or not? Couldn't you just put a headset on a scarecrow and finish 3-13 most years?
 
2014-01-15 12:52:55 PM
Nobody wants to work for the Three Stooges.
 
2014-01-15 01:00:21 PM

BunkoSquad: Does it actually matter whether the Browns have a head coach or not? Couldn't you just put a headset on a scarecrow and finish 3-13 most years?


Jacksonville's done that for years.
 
2014-01-15 01:42:51 PM
They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos
 
2014-01-15 01:47:17 PM

whither_apophis: They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos


Belicheck will die on the sidelines in Foxborough before moving to another team
 
2014-01-15 02:28:41 PM

cameroncrazy1984: BunkoSquad: Does it actually matter whether the Browns have a head coach or not? Couldn't you just put a headset on a scarecrow and finish 3-13 most years?

Jacksonville's done that for years.


Until 2013. I don't think anyone can dispute that Gus Bradley exceeded expectations with the JV squad they handed him.
 
2014-01-15 02:39:50 PM

somedude210: whither_apophis: They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos

Belicheck will die on the sidelines in Foxborough before moving to another team


Well, there are other coaches for New England y'know.
 
2014-01-15 02:39:57 PM
McDaniels, bookit, done
 
2014-01-15 02:40:18 PM

Shame Us: cameroncrazy1984: BunkoSquad: Does it actually matter whether the Browns have a head coach or not? Couldn't you just put a headset on a scarecrow and finish 3-13 most years?

Jacksonville's done that for years.

Until 2013. I don't think anyone can dispute that Gus Bradley exceeded expectations with the JV squad they handed him.


Statistical outlier, pay it no mind.
 
2014-01-15 02:42:41 PM

somedude210: whither_apophis: They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos

Belicheck will die on the sidelines in Foxborough before moving to another team


Both of those things happening would be awesome. Well not at the same time, but in any order you want...
 
2014-01-15 02:47:45 PM
Was the letter in comic sans?
 
2014-01-15 02:48:31 PM
Why not just go full on "Last Starfighter"
Secretly monitor the one or two people out there (because there has to be) using the Browns on Madden.
If they can win the Super Bowl on the highest difficulty, there's your new coach.
 
2014-01-15 02:49:51 PM

Lost Thought 00: McDaniels, bookit, done


FTFA: Arizona DC Todd Bowles took his name out of consideration, as did New England OC Josh McDaniels. Reports have McDaniels withdrawing after he was told he wasn't Cleveland's first choice, which is odd-why would the Browns tell him that?

I think your prediction is going to be wrong.
 
2014-01-15 02:53:30 PM

Primitive Screwhead: Why not just go full on "Last Starfighter"
Secretly monitor the one or two people out there (because there has to be) using the Browns on Madden.
If they can win the Super Bowl on the highest difficulty, there's your new coach.


I always draft a QB of the future in the first round of my Madden drafts.....
 
2014-01-15 02:58:07 PM
Haslam hasn't found the right guy to drive the truck yet.
 
2014-01-15 03:01:16 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

/ the next Cleveland Browns coach: YOUR Beer Man
 
2014-01-15 03:01:39 PM
lolCleveland
 
2014-01-15 03:05:00 PM
Are the fans that excited about knowing the name of the next disappointment?
 
2014-01-15 03:07:39 PM

Serious Black: Lost Thought 00: McDaniels, bookit, done

FTFA: Arizona DC Todd Bowles took his name out of consideration, as did New England OC Josh McDaniels. Reports have McDaniels withdrawing after he was told he wasn't Cleveland's first choice, which is odd-why would the Browns tell him that?

I think your prediction is going to be wrong.


He HAS to be their next head coach, because he HAS to be the one to trade up to draft Manziel
 
2014-01-15 03:10:16 PM
I saw a preview for it. It's going to be Kevin Costner.
 
2014-01-15 03:17:37 PM
Funny thing, the fans in Detroit are pissed that the team didn't wait another month before hiring a head coach.
 
2014-01-15 03:18:39 PM
We're now hearing that Chud isn't talking to the candidates about how he got the screwjob.  Not that it matters; all the coaches know what that job entails.  It's like the Raiders in the last years of Al Davis' life - they're going to have a hard time convincing anyone competent to put up with that organization.
 
2014-01-15 03:22:54 PM

UNC_Samurai: We're now hearing that Chud isn't talking to the candidates about how he got the screwjob.  Not that it matters; all the coaches know what that job entails.  It's like the Raiders in the last years of Al Davis' life - they're going to have a hard time convincing anyone competent to put up with that organization.


Chud's one piece of advice: rent -- don't buy.
 
2014-01-15 03:22:56 PM
troglopundit.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-15 03:23:15 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Was the letter in comic sans?


nicely done.
 
2014-01-15 03:23:39 PM
I'd be more than happy to take the job for the league minimum.
 
2014-01-15 03:25:38 PM
Norv Turner.  Book it.  Done.
 
2014-01-15 03:28:13 PM
Man, they're REALLY hellbent on getting Adam Gase, aren't they?
 
2014-01-15 03:28:19 PM
 
2014-01-15 03:29:26 PM
thenewrambleon.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-15 03:33:03 PM

m1ke: I'd be more than happy to take the job for the league minimum.


This is pretty much it.  There are exactly 32 jobs for head coaches in the NFL.  For lots of NCAA head coaches, NFL coordinators, and former NFL coaches -- a job with the Cleveland Browns this year right now very well might be the only chance they have at being an NFL head coach between now and forever.

Plus, no matter how pathetic your organization is -- be it the Lions or the Browns or whatnot -- every incoming head coach knows he's good enough to turn it around.
 
2014-01-15 03:33:32 PM

m1ke: I'd be more than happy to take the job for the league minimum.


Do they even *have* a league minimum for coaches?
 
2014-01-15 03:33:40 PM

UNC_Samurai: We're now hearing that Chud isn't talking to the candidates about how he got the screwjob.  Not that it matters; all the coaches know what that job entails.  It's like the Raiders in the last years of Al Davis' life - they're going to have a hard time convincing anyone competent to put up with that organization.


The worst part is that if you are McDaniel's type of candidate, why would you ever take the job? At least with the Broncos (a really good job) he got a couple of years. After Chud, all you know is that you get 1 year and the Browns job is kind of crappy.

If you were Billick or someone like that, sure. You take the job with total control. I'm just not sure a younger candidate can take the job after Chud.
 
2014-01-15 03:34:05 PM

whither_apophis: They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos


I think you mean an assistant coach as in an Off coordinator or def coordinator?

In that case, and I hate to say it, but the Browns are smart.

It kind of sucks for assistant coaches on the teams that make it to the Championship round of the playoffs because all of the coaching vacancies have been filled by less successful assistants who have already been eliminated.

I honestly thought there would be a feeding frenzy on the 49ers 2 coordinators but no one seems to want to wait an extra week or two.

And this boys and girls is one of the reasons why the same group of teams are always drafting in the top 10 every year....
 
2014-01-15 03:37:57 PM
I wouldn't want to work with Joe Banner either.. no manner how much they paid me.

Joe should go back to the men's clothing business and leave football alone.
 
2014-01-15 03:39:30 PM
If I was a Browns fan, and they fired the head coach after a single season, I might take issue, but I'd rather them take a little bit of time, rather than hiring the first Buddy Ryan that comes walking past the office, like Arizona likes to do.

If it gets to be the end of February and they haven't made a decision, there's an issue, but Jesus people, the Super Bowl hasn't even been played yet, calm down...
 
2014-01-15 03:41:06 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Was the letter in comic sans?


Came for this. Thank you.
 
2014-01-15 03:45:14 PM

Mikey1969: If I was a Browns fan, and they fired the head coach after a single season, I might take issue, but I'd rather them take a little bit of time, rather than hiring the first Buddy Ryan that comes walking past the office, like Arizona likes to do.

If it gets to be the end of February and they haven't made a decision, there's an issue, but Jesus people, the Super Bowl hasn't even been played yet, calm down...


Oh and this. It isn't like youbhave to make a hire to get ahead of recruiting season in college. There isn't much that a new coach can do right now.
 
2014-01-15 03:49:15 PM

whither_apophis: They need to wait for the season to end before they can headhunt a coach from the Pats/Niners/Hawks/Broncos


They're waiting for Peyton's Yes Man to become available so they can interview him to become Banner's Yes Man...
 
2014-01-15 03:54:27 PM
I haven't listened to a whole lot of Bill Simmons' NFL podcast this year, but, in years past Mike Lombardi was a frequent guest, often a weekly guest during playoff season. He and Simmo had a pretty collegial, fun, 'give and take' relationship. If I recall,  once Lombardi took the Browns job, he more or less stopped talking to Simmons?  I kinda recall Simmons saying that in the off season.

Anyways.  my point is, has Simmons said much at all about Lombardi's tenure?  the Browns were pretty dreadful this year (ok, make your jokes) and, while I doubt Lombardi as DPP has any contractual say over the head coach position, but, obviously, if the players suck then what coach would want the position?  My point is Simmons was extremely vocal in his criticism of Doc Rivers, but I wonder if his former professional relationship with Lombardi has led him to kinda spare him from criticism.  I don't know.  For as little as I listened to the podcast this year I could be completely wrong.  It is just when I did, the Browns seemed to get by without much criticism, which I thought was Bill going nice on his boy.
 
2014-01-15 03:59:10 PM

Bob The Nob:


"Tire World..."
"HEY! How would you like to coach the Browns this season..."
"Oh.... Ida know..."
"What are you talking about? This is your chance to coach in the NFL!"
"I got a guy on the other line about some white walls, I'll talk to you later..."
 
2014-01-15 03:59:35 PM

rickythepenguin: It is just when I did, the Browns seemed to get by without much criticism, which I thought was Bill going nice on his boy.


Maybe, but I'd think it is simply more likely that he doesn't care about the Browns. He was extremely vocal about Doc Rivers because he's a Celtics fan.
 
2014-01-15 04:03:15 PM

Primitive Screwhead: Why not just go full on "Last Starfighter"
Secretly monitor the one or two people out there (because there has to be) using the Browns on Madden.
If they can win the Super Bowl on the highest difficulty, there's your new coach.


If they do that, 'what do we do?'
 
2014-01-15 04:11:26 PM

JayCab: aybe, but I'd think it is simply more likely that he doesn't care about the Browns. He was extremely vocal about Doc Rivers because he's a Celtics fan.


yeah, both logical.  i'm not saying Simmo should have a Browns 2013 post-mortem podcast, it just seems like i siad, when i listened this year, he really didn't say much about Lombardi, even when the team was foundering.  Now that they are the only team sans a coach, i wonder if he will address it.

but again, Lombardi on the Browns' own org chart is only on the player side;  his title is general manager but he oversees player development.  on the org chart at least, I don't see where he has any de facto power on the coach.  the Brownies' org chart shows that as "Management" and Lombardi aint' there.  dunno.
 
2014-01-15 04:13:37 PM
Just name a player-coach.
 
2014-01-15 04:13:52 PM
Considering all the other teams who've hired someone (besides Vikings) are being blasted for lackluster choices, i don't see why waiting a bit is bad.
 
2014-01-15 04:14:28 PM
images.zap2it.com

This guy is available I think.
 
2014-01-15 04:29:32 PM
I thought they fired Chud before he was finished making the final post-game speech so they could have first shot at the market.

Seriously, NOBODY wants to coach there. The coach is going to be a first-timer who never hoped to be a head coach, because everybody else is going to run for their lives. And that's a shame. I want Cleveland to be relevant again.
 
2014-01-15 04:37:14 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: I thought they fired Chud before he was finished making the final post-game speech so they could have first shot at the market.

Seriously, NOBODY wants to coach there. The coach is going to be a first-timer who never hoped to be a head coach, because everybody else is going to run for their lives. And that's a shame. I want Cleveland to be relevant again.


I understand Jim Zorn is available.
 
2014-01-15 04:44:59 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: I thought they fired Chud before he was finished making the final post-game speech so they could have first shot at the market.

Seriously, NOBODY wants to coach there. The coach is going to be a first-timer who never hoped to be a head coach, because everybody else is going to run for their lives. And that's a shame. I want Cleveland to be relevant again.


"NOBODY" huh?   And you are led to this conclusion, how? because all of the lower-rung scrubs have signed elsewhere?   How, exactly is that a bad thing..  Who did they miss out on?

You, being a fan of a team run by Tomlin should really not comment on another team's coaching search.
 
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