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(Detroit Free Press)   "Hi, I'm from the IRS. You owe $3,854, but send me that amount as pre-paid cards and I won't have you arrested, OK?"   (freep.com) divider line 35
    More: Unlikely, IRS, Farmington Hills, special agents, hellos, scams  
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4412 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2014 at 3:29 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-15 12:00:36 AM
Can the IRS put you in jail for that much in unpaid taxes?
 
2014-01-15 12:06:51 AM
I had a fairly pleasant interaction with the real IRS last year.
IRS: you owe us $2800
Me: no, you did your math wrong. I owe you $225
Them: nope. Actually you did your math wrong too. You owe us $17.50

Deal!
 
2014-01-15 03:41:02 AM

fusillade762: Can the IRS put you in jail for that much in unpaid taxes?

yes
 
2014-01-15 03:41:44 AM

serial_crusher: I had a fairly pleasant interaction with the real IRS last year.
IRS: you owe us $2800
Me: no, you did your math wrong. I owe you $225
Them: nope. Actually you did your math wrong too. You owe us $17.50

Deal!


I had a similar encounter with them years ago except it went

Me: You owe me $115.
IRS: No, we owe you $283, dumbass.  By cashing this check, you accept your revised refund.
 
2014-01-15 03:44:38 AM
And the scammer bought like ten houses with the money?
 
2014-01-15 03:47:21 AM

serial_crusher: I had a fairly pleasant interaction with the real IRS last year.
IRS: you owe us $2800
Me: no, you did your math wrong. I owe you $225
Them: nope. Actually you did your math wrong too. You owe us $17.50

Deal!


I had a similar experience. They accused me of not paying my self-employment tax, despite the fact that I'm not self-employed. I mailed them the copy of the check, which I already claimed, that they stupidly misunderstood.

fusillade762: They can jail you over one cent.
 
2014-01-15 03:58:24 AM
This happened to me, but they asked for blow jobs in a men's bathroom.

Now I'm starting to think that I may have been deceived.
 
2014-01-15 04:03:25 AM

jtown: serial_crusher: I had a fairly pleasant interaction with the real IRS last year.
IRS: you owe us $2800
Me: no, you did your math wrong. I owe you $225
Them: nope. Actually you did your math wrong too. You owe us $17.50

Deal!

I had a similar encounter with them years ago except it went

Me: You owe me $115.
IRS: No, we owe you $283, dumbass.  By cashing this check, you accept your revised refund.


I got a letter this year from the IRS that I did not claim the profits from a sale of some securities and owed $2,500. I actually sold those at a loss and was owed $500 by the IRS because of the new adjusted income level. I'd say it was a funny story but the truth is I was a moron for not claiming those in the first place.
 
2014-01-15 04:24:23 AM
itsatrap.jpg
 
2014-01-15 04:30:05 AM
csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb
 
2014-01-15 04:54:44 AM
I'm still not sure what I was doing wrong*, but for 5 years running, the IRS kept telling me I was doing my taxes wrong, and here was some extra money on my refund as punishment (they usually sent me ~$300 more a year).  On the one hand, I was annoyed I was doing something wrong; on the other hand, more refund.

* The letter just simply said "You incorrectly filled out Lines X - Y. It has been corrected, and your revised refund is $Z."  It covered a dozen or so lines, dealing with a couple dozen possible things, none of which I could ever figure out applied to the wife and I.  I would have seriously been fine with a letter saying "It's Line 45, dumbass; we're keeping the money as a dummy tax.  Better luck next year" simply because I could have homed in on the problem.
 
2014-01-15 05:07:00 AM

danielscissorhands: This happened to me, but they asked for blow jobs in a men's bathroom.

Now I'm starting to think that I may have been deceived.


No, that really was a GOP Senator calling.
 
2014-01-15 05:17:00 AM

Gordon Bennett: danielscissorhands: This happened to me, but they asked for blow jobs in a men's bathroom.

Now I'm starting to think that I may have been deceived.

No, that really was a GOP Senator calling.


Oh really? I have a picture of him actually, but don't know anything about politics really. Does he look familiar?


www.biography.com
 
2014-01-15 05:39:29 AM
Foreign filers, apparently you need to file your FBAR electronically this year.

Sometimes glad to have these tax stories to remind me to find out what's new every year.
 
2014-01-15 06:00:29 AM

SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb

 Isn't your story just: "I was too lazy to accurately report on my taxes, and then I had to fix it because I was too lazy?" Huh.
 
2014-01-15 06:04:18 AM

Fuzzmosis: SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb
 Isn't your story just: "I was too lazy to accurately report on my taxes, and then I had to fix it because I was too lazy?" Huh.


No no, it's more like "I was told I owed a quarter of a million dollars, and that would have taken me several months to pay off. It's not as if I am made of money, you know!"
 
2014-01-15 06:45:22 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Foreign filers, apparently you need to file your FBAR electronically this year.

Sometimes glad to have these tax stories to remind me to find out what's new every year.


Oh dear.
 
2014-01-15 06:54:50 AM
I got a call from a scammer a few weeks ago, he said he was from the Federal Security Agency (never heard of it) and due to my position in the government (I dont work for them) the patriot act gave him broad sweeping power (hang up). I figured it was BS since it was 5 am and when I looked up the number online it was a private cell. The thing that pissed me off the most was the called back 3 more times and left no message. A call right after that which I also ignored was from another number but they left a message. I checked it and it was some girl she knew my name sounded ditzy and asked me to get in touch with someone at that pentagon place I worked at (never have just visited) to help her. I forgot to save it damnit.
 
2014-01-15 07:33:44 AM
I just them it will be in Applebee's gift cards and they hang up and never call back.
 
2014-01-15 07:35:02 AM

Public Savant: Fuzzmosis: SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb
 Isn't your story just: "I was too lazy to accurately report on my taxes, and then I had to fix it because I was too lazy?" Huh.

No no, it's more like "I was told I owed a quarter of a million dollars, and that would have taken me several months to pay off. It's not as if I am made of money, you know!"


No, Fuzzmosis had it right.

/Tax preparer.
 
2014-01-15 07:40:05 AM
I am an "older American" and I wouldn't be surprised if the government started harassing me with phone calls for taxes owed, but "would be charged with crimes if he didn't send the caller $3,854 in prepaid money cards." (FTFA) would clue me that the call was fake. What could the government possibly want with prepaid money cards?
 
2014-01-15 07:59:08 AM

danielscissorhands: This happened to me, but they asked for blow jobs in a men's bathroom.

Now I'm starting to think that I may have been deceived.


Well at least you got a blow job out of it so....oh....I see.....
 
2014-01-15 07:59:14 AM

borg: fusillade762: Can the IRS put you in jail for that much in unpaid taxes?
yes


Just think that through and you see how just pants-on-head stupid that ability is.

Most countries tax organizations would just try collecting that bill by the means that other businesses do, with harassing calls, garnishee wages, property seizures, bad credit ratings, etc.

But no, the suits in your precious IRS are butthurt because someone dares to go against their precious rules so it responds with unleashing  vengeance that actually winds up costing the country way more keeping some guy in prison than if they just forget the bill in the first place.

Plus prison is an excellent way to ruin the opportunity of the non-payer to get a decent job and, you know, ACTUALLY provide further tax revenue.

On the plus side, it did present a means to get Capone off the streets...
 
2014-01-15 08:08:20 AM

Public Savant: Fuzzmosis: SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb
 Isn't your story just: "I was too lazy to accurately report on my taxes, and then I had to fix it because I was too lazy?" Huh.

No no, it's more like "I was told I owed a quarter of a million dollars, and that would have taken me several months to pay off. It's not as if I am made of money, you know!"


I have this picture in my head of him sitting on a BMW, sipping on champaigne while wearing white wingtips.
 
2014-01-15 08:17:03 AM

fusillade762: Can the IRS put you in jail for that much in unpaid taxes?


No, they can't, PROVIDING THAT you've honestly reported everything.

For instance, if I file that I owe $10k, and that filing was correct, I will not be jailed even if I don't pay it.

What they CAN and WILL do is go levy every account I have, put liens on all of my property, etc.

/had everything in my accounts frozen once for money I didn't know I owed.
//7 days before I was supposed to move in to a new house.
///was able to get them to reverse the levy by setting up a payment plan.
 
2014-01-15 12:08:09 PM
So, I was being audited. The IRS agent calls me and asks for my social security number, among other personal information. Of course, the cardinal rule of security is, "Never give out personal information to someone who contacts you first."

Now, this individual went on and on about the dire consequences - fines, lawyer fees, further penalties, etc, etc - which would result if I did not give up the social security number. I continued to refuse, as politely as I could, but it simply was not going to happen.

But wow. I have a much better understanding of how these scams work now. Once you can get the mark to accept the scenario, then you've got the keys to getting information.

// Pretty sure it was the agent because I was able to coordinate with the IRS main number and the information matched up.
/// Worked out an alternate information-transmittal means which didn't involve me giving my social to an anonymous caller.
//// But, wow.
 
2014-01-15 01:59:21 PM

SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb


So you lied to the IRS and cheated on your taxes, and we're supposed to feel sorry for you? You might want to stop bragging about this stuff online, in case one of us is an IRS agent, moron.

/but only libs suck on the government teat, amirite?
 
2014-01-15 03:17:05 PM
Send the bastards 5c.
 
2014-01-15 05:37:37 PM
So it sounds like a lot of people have the same problem I had, with the stocks and the IRS not having the purchase price.
Why the hell isn't that something my broker is required to put on the forms they send the IRS?

I shouldn't have to "do my taxes" every year.  I should just have to give TurboTax credentials to access my various accounts, and have them access those services through some standardized API, then generate from there.  But nooo, can't do that, can we?
 
2014-01-15 06:29:27 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie:
Most countries tax organizations would just try collecting that bill by the means that other businesses do, with harassing calls, garnishee wages, property seizures, bad credit ratings, etc.


If you substitute "letters" for "calls", that is exactly what the IRS already does. The IRS rarely goes after taxpayers criminally. I've never heard of the IRS or Tax Court trying to imprison a taxpayer who has been earnest about paying their taxes, even in situations where the taxpayer owed well over a hundred thousand dollars. Prison time for tax evaders is usually limited to repeat offenders, taxpayers (and their representatives) who repeatedly make unreasonable claims, or for those who try to use ridiculous stall tactics.
 
2014-01-15 09:00:56 PM

serial_crusher: So it sounds like a lot of people have the same problem I had, with the stocks and the IRS not having the purchase price.
Why the hell isn't that something my broker is required to put on the forms they send the IRS?

I shouldn't have to "do my taxes" every year.  I should just have to give TurboTax credentials to access my various accounts, and have them access those services through some standardized API, then generate from there.  But nooo, can't do that, can we?


TurboTax can make suggestions and ask questions, but it doesn't magically know what deductions you plan to claim. But if you have all your paperwork in front of you, it shouldn't take more than an hour to do your taxes. Are you claiming to be too lazy, or too stupid? Either way, it's not worth bragging about.
 
2014-01-15 10:47:47 PM

Abacus9: SevenizGud: csb

I got a letter from the IRS saying I owed nearly $250,000. In those years I was a high-frequency trader (my D-1 was over 500 pages). I didn't report purchase price for several securities that were sold at a loss because I figured it would cost me more in time to look up the particulars than it would save in dollars to report the loss.

So, the IRS naturally filled in the purchase price to be ZERO, and hence the sale was 100% profit in their view.

So I dug around and jumped through the bureaucratic hoops - and in the end they wrote me a check for some trivial sum like $800 or something.

Still, the letter was disquieting because it would have taken me several months to save up that kind of cabbage to pay the IRS.

/csb

So you lied to the IRS and cheated on your taxes, and we're supposed to feel sorry for you? You might want to stop bragging about this stuff online, in case one of us is an IRS agent, moron.

/but only libs suck on the government teat, amirite?


The IRS owed him a 'trivial amount' and he decided it wasn't worth doing the paperwork to claim it, effectively donating it back to the government. Then he got audited, and the IRS wanted said paperwork anyway, so he figured he'd go ahead and claim his money while he was up, "sigh, fine, give me the $80.00. Now go away."
 
2014-01-15 11:06:42 PM

Abacus9: serial_crusher: So it sounds like a lot of people have the same problem I had, with the stocks and the IRS not having the purchase price.
Why the hell isn't that something my broker is required to put on the forms they send the IRS?

I shouldn't have to "do my taxes" every year.  I should just have to give TurboTax credentials to access my various accounts, and have them access those services through some standardized API, then generate from there.  But nooo, can't do that, can we?

TurboTax can make suggestions and ask questions, but it doesn't magically know what deductions you plan to claim. But if you have all your paperwork in front of you, it shouldn't take more than an hour to do your taxes. Are you claiming to be too lazy, or too stupid? Either way, it's not worth bragging about.


I'm more upset as a taxpayer than anything else.  The IRS is spending a lot of man hours (theirs and ours) doing a job manually that could and should be automated.  But you're right, I should spend my time doing unnecessary work to prove I'm not lazy, or something

The idea that it should take less than an hour to do your taxes is ridiculous too.  I measure it in drinks not hours, but somewhere around 2.5.  It's easy if you just have a few W2s and a 1040 to fill out, but if you've bought and sold stocks, you're in bureocratic hell.

That "if you have all your paperwork in front of you" qualifier is a seriously big "if" also.  Getting the correct paperwork is frequently the hardest part.  Stock broker (they're terrible, but my company set up the deal, so I'm stuck with them)  sends the wrong forms, puts the wrong info on those forms, etc.  And of course I don't even know which forms I'm going to need until I sit down to actually start the work.
 
2014-01-15 11:29:54 PM

serial_crusher: Abacus9: serial_crusher:  And of course I don't even know which forms I'm going to need until I sit down to actually start the work.


I usually do a dry run in January, on paper, off of assumed numbers, then a final draft in March with the real numbers (and forms)

I still say it's a pain in the ass you can't do fillable forms online which do the math for you. No, you've got to print them all out or order them and the post and double-check all your own calculations and physically mail them paper; and all, I'm told, because H&R block complained it was too easy that way and they'd lose business. So now you need to pay a completely uninvolved 3rd party for permission to efile your taxes, which is blatant rent-seeking if I've ever heard it.
 
2014-01-16 02:11:42 AM

serial_crusher: Abacus9: serial_crusher: So it sounds like a lot of people have the same problem I had, with the stocks and the IRS not having the purchase price.
Why the hell isn't that something my broker is required to put on the forms they send the IRS?

I shouldn't have to "do my taxes" every year.  I should just have to give TurboTax credentials to access my various accounts, and have them access those services through some standardized API, then generate from there.  But nooo, can't do that, can we?

TurboTax can make suggestions and ask questions, but it doesn't magically know what deductions you plan to claim. But if you have all your paperwork in front of you, it shouldn't take more than an hour to do your taxes. Are you claiming to be too lazy, or too stupid? Either way, it's not worth bragging about.

I'm more upset as a taxpayer than anything else.  The IRS is spending a lot of man hours (theirs and ours) doing a job manually that could and should be automated.  But you're right, I should spend my time doing unnecessary work to prove I'm not lazy, or something

The idea that it should take less than an hour to do your taxes is ridiculous too.  I measure it in drinks not hours, but somewhere around 2.5.  It's easy if you just have a few W2s and a 1040 to fill out, but if you've bought and sold stocks, you're in bureocratic hell.

That "if you have all your paperwork in front of you" qualifier is a seriously big "if" also.  Getting the correct paperwork is frequently the hardest part.  Stock broker (they're terrible, but my company set up the deal, so I'm stuck with them)  sends the wrong forms, puts the wrong info on those forms, etc.  And of course I don't even know which forms I'm going to need until I sit down to actually start the work.


My point about TurboTax is that it is mostly automated, but if you claim deductions you have to let them know. I'm sorry if that's too much work for you, but everyone else has to do it too, and you're not special. And yes you sound lazy. Oh no, taxes are so hard because I've got stock dividends! Shut the hell up you useless fool.
 
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