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(Fars News Agency)   If you have "the mad-as-hell Philippines" as the country most likely to start a war with China in 2014 over a string of worthless, disputed islands, come get your cookie. Bring protective clothing for the fallout   (english.farsnews.com) divider line 60
    More: Scary, Phillipines, protective clothing, South China Sea, Major Changes, shot across the bow, East China Sea, islands  
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1852 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Jan 2014 at 9:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-14 07:42:53 AM  
so, just to make sure ... this is FARS quoting infowars ?
 
2014-01-14 07:48:45 AM  

cunning_linguist_dc: so, just to make sure ... this is FARS quoting infowars ?


Yep. So it's like 435% legit.
 
2014-01-14 08:04:10 AM  
Why invade? Just use the Weather Machine that Edward Snowden stole the plans for and gave to China has the toll to safe passage in Hong Kong.
 
2014-01-14 08:22:16 AM  

Relatively Obscure: cunning_linguist_dc: so, just to make sure ... this is FARS quoting infowars ?

Yep. So it's like 435% legit.


Not 5000%? Thanks Obama!
 
2014-01-14 08:28:15 AM  
FARS quoting Infowars quoting some bullsh*t paranoid blog

/nicely done
//I pay for this stuff
 
2014-01-14 08:32:09 AM  
FTFA:  Relying on US support, the Philippines is so arrogant as to announce in the New Year that it will increase its navy and air force deployment at Zhongye Island, a Chinese island that it has illegally occupied for years, Infowars reported

Aaaaaaaaand we're done here.
 
2014-01-14 08:39:08 AM  
Yes, the Philippines is going to attack China.  Any minute now.  Everybody panic.
 
2014-01-14 08:47:32 AM  
Sofa King Totes for reals. Double pinkie swearsies. Not the paranoid delusions of a guy who believed that the US will be a Communist state in the next year or so, and that we'd be living under Martial Law by now, and that hording guns, ammunition, food and water would be criminalized. Nope. THIS time he's totes for reals...
 
2014-01-14 08:51:52 AM  

2.bp.blogspot.com

1.bp.blogspot.com

www.935wain.com

 
2014-01-14 08:55:01 AM  

hubiestubert: Sofa King Totes for reals. Double pinkie swearsies. Not the paranoid delusions of a guy who believed that the US will be a Communist state in the next year or so, and that we'd be living under Martial Law by now, and that hording guns, ammunition, food and water would be criminalized. Nope. THIS time he's totes for reals...


At first I was worried.  Then I realized I was reading the interwebs, so it's probably 900% fake.  But it did waste about two minutes of my time, so I'm okay with this.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-01-14 08:56:07 AM  
Iranian state media getting it's information from Infowars?

That sounds like journalistic integrity to me.

Besides, the Philippines has no ability to fight China.  Apart from an Old Coast guard cutter that we gave them recently, their most powerful naval vessel is an old WW-II destroyer escort.
 
2014-01-14 08:59:07 AM  
Chinese flotilla, armed with chinchilla wearing guerilla gorillas, raiding vanilla-scented villas a la Attila, in the next thrilla in Manila?

Sounds legit.
 
2014-01-14 08:59:37 AM  
No one is starting a war with China any time soon.  No one.
 
2014-01-14 09:19:16 AM  
I'll start a war with China.


A Nuclear War.

/at the gay bar
//gay bar
///gay bar
 
2014-01-14 09:23:45 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: No one is starting a war with China any time soon.  No one.


This.  Not the Philippines, that's just clownshiat, but not us either.  Not Russia.  Not India.  No one.  Not going to happen.
 
2014-01-14 09:27:02 AM  
Get your Pinoy mods now, vapers!
 
2014-01-14 09:27:15 AM  
Looks like China could have themselves a Falklands to pick a quickie war with. Worked for Maggie Thatcher.
 
2014-01-14 09:31:38 AM  
Except for the weather, is there anything that wouldn't improve in the world by just nuking China already?
 
2014-01-14 09:32:40 AM  
The Chinese have historically performed poorly in battle. They're a paper tiger.

/not saying that war with them is a good idea.
 
2014-01-14 09:33:25 AM  

Descartes: Except for the weather, is there anything that wouldn't improve in the world by just nuking China already?


The world economy.
 
2014-01-14 09:37:50 AM  

nekom: Three Crooked Squirrels: No one is starting a war with China any time soon.  No one.

This.  Not the Philippines, that's just clownshiat, but not us either.  Not Russia.  Not India.  No one.  Not going to happen.


But it does stir the soup to keep that lovely aroma of fear just wafting, and keeping the crazy people motivated to KEEP posting up crap, and more importantly, clicking on links and giving sweet, sweet cash to folks to prevent their worst fears from occurring. That continued domestic instability only keeps idiots donating and voting to "protect" themselves from the engineers of said instability is just icing on the cake.

The one thing that these folks really fear is that lives will improve and things will go on an even keel. Well, that and the wrong folks will profit, because at this point, it's not about stability or consumer confidence, it's just a raid on the American piggy bank, and keeping folks voting against their interests, because FREEDOM...

Yeah, Hubie's a bit cynical this rainy, wintery morn...
 
2014-01-14 09:42:52 AM  

TheGregiss: I'll start a war with China.


A Nuclear War.

/at the gay bar
//gay bar
///gay bar


With their excess male population it would probably be quite the war....
 
2014-01-14 09:43:05 AM  

TheGregiss: I'll start a war with China.


A Nuclear War.

/at the gay bar
//gay bar
///gay bar


BRAVO

///Abraham Lincoln also approves
 
2014-01-14 09:45:04 AM  
Now, where did I put my pipboy...
 
2014-01-14 09:46:01 AM  

nekom: Three Crooked Squirrels: No one is starting a war with China any time soon.  No one.

This.  Not the Philippines, that's just clownshiat, but not us either.  Not Russia.  Not India.  No one.  Not going to happen.


Doesn't mean the Uighurs will stop trying to blow the shiat out of them.

Seriously, China, just let Xinjiang go.
 
2014-01-14 09:46:50 AM  
vpb:
Besides, the Philippines has no ability to fight China. Apart from an Old Coast guard cutter that we gave them recently, their most powerful naval vessel is an old WW-II destroyer escort.

They have a huge navy to rely on. Of course, most of it is based in places like San Diego.
 
2014-01-14 09:51:47 AM  
Worthless to those that don't live there.
 
2014-01-14 09:52:06 AM  
I would not call the islands worthless.  They add substantially to the mineral wealth of the parent country.... now if we can ever really figure out undersea mining.
 
2014-01-14 09:55:13 AM  
Three Crooked Squirrels:
No one is starting a war with China any time soon. No one.

It's amazing how often that phrase - with different country names in place of "China" - turns up in world history.

Heck, the "no one is starting a war with Germany" version happened twice in the last century alone.

For every planner in the West saying "China isn't going to war over the Spratly Islands," there's certainly someone in China saying, "we can take the Spratly Islands - nobody in the West will go to war over them."
 
2014-01-14 09:55:49 AM  
I have to admit, when I think of "Chinese badasses" in my head, I don't picture modern special forces operators. Until now. Yikes/Cool pic.
 
2014-01-14 09:56:29 AM  

Frank N Stein: The Chinese have historically performed poorly in battle. They're a paper tiger.

/not saying that war with them is a good idea.


Chosin Reservoir? Korean War?
 
2014-01-14 09:58:56 AM  

Saiga410: I would not call the islands worthless.  They add substantially to the mineral wealth of the parent country.... now if we can ever really figure out undersea mining.


I was just going to pop in to say this (studies International Relations and took a South East Asia class) China doesn't want these islands because they are 'part of China'. China wants these islands for the fishing and mineral rights. When it comes to maritime security and access, China is an asshole. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13748349  China has been known to stop Vietnamese fishing vessels and confiscate the catches because it claims that those fish were in Chinese waters- when China is MUCH farther away. It has also been known to put a shiat ton of concrete on a tiny rock to make it into a bigger island, build a barracks on it and place 10-15 troops there.
  When it comes to islands, China is that asshole on the plane who thinks both arm rests belong to him and sits with his legs splayed open like his balls are made of lava.
 
2014-01-14 10:09:00 AM  
Oh come on, the entire Philippines are worthless disputed islands.
 
2014-01-14 10:26:22 AM  

Smokey the Bare: FTFA:  Relying on US support, the Philippines is so arrogant as to announce in the New Year that it will increase its navy and air force deployment at Zhongye Island, a Chinese island that it has illegally occupied for years, Infowars reported

Aaaaaaaaand we're done here.


We were done at Fars News.
 
2014-01-14 10:28:19 AM  

vpb: Iranian state media getting it's information from Infowars?

That sounds like journalistic integrity to me.

Besides, the Philippines has no ability to fight China.  Apart from an Old Coast guard cutter that we gave them recently, their most powerful naval vessel is an old WW-II destroyer escort.


You realize WWII destroyers had some pretty kick-ass weapons by todays standards. Try finding a modern warship with a 5" rifle.
 
2014-01-14 10:30:42 AM  

cirby: vpb:
Besides, the Philippines has no ability to fight China. Apart from an Old Coast guard cutter that we gave them recently, their most powerful naval vessel is an old WW-II destroyer escort.

They have a huge navy to rely on. Of course, most of it is based in places like San Diego.


They also have these:

www.gpipdm.com
 
2014-01-14 10:31:23 AM  

Lemurknits: Saiga410: I would not call the islands worthless.  They add substantially to the mineral wealth of the parent country.... now if we can ever really figure out undersea mining.

I was just going to pop in to say this (studies International Relations and took a South East Asia class) China doesn't want these islands because they are 'part of China'. China wants these islands for the fishing and mineral rights. When it comes to maritime security and access, China is an asshole. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13748349  China has been known to stop Vietnamese fishing vessels and confiscate the catches because it claims that those fish were in Chinese waters- when China is MUCH farther away. It has also been known to put a shiat ton of concrete on a tiny rock to make it into a bigger island, build a barracks on it and place 10-15 troops there.
  When it comes to islands, China is that asshole on the plane who thinks both arm rests belong to him and sits with his legs splayed open like his balls are made of lava.


This is the correct analysis. China's argument for what a fair distribution of the sea is based not upon a fair distribution based on the location of the mainland but upon how far they can reach out to whip ass.

To put it in context for Americans,  it is like saying Cuba is picking a fight with America because they reject the territorial rights of America to everything off their immediate coast.

China will be seizing these islands one day even though theyre geographically much closer to the Philippines than to the Chinese mainland.
 
2014-01-14 10:31:49 AM  

scumshine: Frank N Stein: The Chinese have historically performed poorly in battle. They're a paper tiger.

/not saying that war with them is a good idea.

Chosin Reservoir? Korean War?


Well, poorly in the sense of sheer body count.
 
2014-01-14 10:33:55 AM  
Maybe the Philippines has a special, ultimate weapon that could destroy the earth?
 
2014-01-14 10:40:31 AM  
Lol! InfoWars doesn't know the difference between the Philippines and Japan.

Japan's the one bickering with China over those barren islands, and even they aren't starting a war with China.
 
2014-01-14 10:52:22 AM  

mutterfark: Maybe the Philippines has a special, ultimate weapon that could destroy the earth?


Balut
 
2014-01-14 10:59:49 AM  

Vodka Zombie: Lol! InfoWars doesn't know the difference between the Philippines and Japan.

Japan's the one bickering with China over those barren islands, and even they aren't starting a war with China.


The Senkaku Islands are not the Spratley Islands. These are two separate archipelagos. Most of the Spratley Islands are controlled by Vietnam, but the one in question, Pag-asa, has a landing strip that can accommodate C130s, and has been under Philippine control for decades.
 
2014-01-14 11:04:38 AM  
Man, this article needs better sources.
 
2014-01-14 11:18:32 AM  
Infowars

img.4plebs.org
 
2014-01-14 11:26:05 AM  
I know most "journalism" today is yellow journalism (i.e. fanfiction, basically), but for fark's sake, really?
 
2014-01-14 11:45:07 AM  
It's interesting that these islands, and most of the others in the general area, are blacked out by Google maps.  Anyone know why these would be off limits to satellite imaging?
 
2014-01-14 12:06:14 PM  

Erix: It's interesting that these islands, and most of the others in the general area, are blacked out by Google maps.  Anyone know why these would be off limits to satellite imaging?


Several of the islands are home to supervillian lairs, one has the Earthquake Machine Facility, and at least two others are suspiciously penis-shaped.

The amazon warriors of Paradise Island threatened "Death by Snu Snu" to anybody posting satellite images of their domain, so of course it is now detailed in the highest resolution available. Every street map team dispatched there has failed to return, yet there are no shortages of street map techs volunteering to go.
 
2014-01-14 12:26:03 PM  

Lemurknits: I was just going to pop in to say this (studies International Relations and took a South East Asia class) China doesn't want these islands because they are 'part of China'. China wants these islands for the fishing and mineral rights. When it comes to maritime security and access, China is an asshole. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-13748349 China has been known to stop Vietnamese fishing vessels and confiscate the catches because it claims that those fish were in Chinese waters- when China is MUCH farther away. It has also been known to put a shiat ton of concrete on a tiny rock to make it into a bigger island, build a barracks on it and place 10-15 troops there.
When it comes to islands, China is that asshole on the plane who thinks both arm rests belong to him and sits with his legs splayed open like his balls are made of lava.


What do you expect when they are sitting next to an even fatter guy sipping on a HGH smoothie.  USA, USA.
 
2014-01-14 12:38:43 PM  

Riche: Erix: It's interesting that these islands, and most of the others in the general area, are blacked out by Google maps.  Anyone know why these would be off limits to satellite imaging?

Several of the islands are home to supervillian lairs, one has the Earthquake Machine Facility, and at least two others are suspiciously penis-shaped.

The amazon warriors of Paradise Island threatened "Death by Snu Snu" to anybody posting satellite images of their domain, so of course it is now detailed in the highest resolution available. Every street map team dispatched there has failed to return, yet there are no shortages of street map techs volunteering to go.


The supervillain district?  I wouldn't doubt it.  One of the islands that wasn't blacked out has this apparent mecha-spaceport or something.
 
2014-01-14 12:52:39 PM  

Kit Fister: Now, where did I put my pipboy...


+1 internet.
 
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