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(Reuters)   Lawmakers reveal $1.1 trillion budget deal. Democrats get increased funding for domestic programs and infrastructure, Republicans finally get their revenge on ObamaCare and incandescent lightbulbs   (reuters.com) divider line 91
    More: Interesting, obamacare, Republicans, Democrats, lawmakers, Barbara Mikulski, funds, United States budget process, light bulbs  
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2402 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Jan 2014 at 8:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-14 07:43:56 AM  
DAMN YOU COMPROMISE! HOW DARE YOU INVADE THIS FINE AMERICAN DEMOCRACY!
 
2014-01-14 07:52:14 AM  
I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.
 
2014-01-14 07:57:16 AM  
It also provides an additional $85.2 billion for Afghanistan war funding that is typically handled off-budget.

how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?
 
2014-01-14 08:00:33 AM  

what_now: how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?


Flex money. The sad part is that you can't run an effective war on a set budget.
 
2014-01-14 08:13:28 AM  
They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.
 
2014-01-14 08:13:39 AM  

WTF Indeed: what_now: how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?

Flex money. The sad part is that you can't run an effective war on a set budget.




When I think of an "effective war" the clusterfark in Afghanistan does not come to mind, but I take your point.
 
2014-01-14 08:54:00 AM  
Just like it says in Federalist Papers #402: Governance Through Vengeance.
 
2014-01-14 08:58:41 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.


I swear you've used that one before... Why hasn't it been added to the Urban Dictionary yet?
 
2014-01-14 08:59:55 AM  
I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.
 
2014-01-14 09:06:27 AM  
It appears that the only way to appease the Republicans and get them to not fark over the entire economy is to let them fark over people who need health insurance. Apparently as long as they're allowed to fark someone over, they're at least partially satisfied.
 
2014-01-14 09:07:16 AM  

what_now: It also provides an additional $85.2 billion for Afghanistan war funding that is typically handled off-budget.

how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?


I was told that the reason Obama's deficits were 1T was because he placed these wars on budget.
 
2014-01-14 09:08:29 AM  

TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.


The long term National security of the US would be better served by having a generation of highly skilled/educated people.  Give everyone a free university education for 20 years.

Whatever future threats are, you will be better served by having highly educated people and a powerful economy.  If war in the future is necessary.  The military will need the right people and resources to ramp production of death ray guns and micro assassin droids more than rusty cold war era technology.

Long term security should focus on space anyways.
 
2014-01-14 09:08:38 AM  

Saiga410: what_now: It also provides an additional $85.2 billion for Afghanistan war funding that is typically handled off-budget.

how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?

I was told that the reason Obama's deficits were 1T was because he placed these wars on budget.


Except for the additional funding, it is.
 
2014-01-14 09:08:41 AM  
So, $1 billion cut from funds for implementation of healthcare exchanges. But ObamaCare will never work because government can't do anything right, right? Right.

Great! Let's cut funding for R&D on something that saves money for everyone, and helps the environment to boot. Great job. I'm still going to continue replacing every bulb in my house with those 18-year LEDs.
 
2014-01-14 09:12:27 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.


Artistry, man.  Pure artistry.
 
2014-01-14 09:13:14 AM  

clkeagle: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.

I swear you've used that one before... Why hasn't it been added to the Urban Dictionary yet?


The surprising thing it that a Guatemalan Otter Squat, though it sounds gauche, is actually a term for an amiable conversation held by two people over herbal tea and crudités. This is, of course, then followed by the insertion of a single catheter, one end in each person, and a reverse tug-of-war battle in which both parties attempt to force enough urine through the catheter to cause it to forcefully eject from the other participant. It's a delightful romp.
 
2014-01-14 09:13:35 AM  

mrshowrules: TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over....

The long term National security of the US would be better served by having a generation of highly skilled/educated people.  Give everyone a free university education for 20 years....


We should stop lying about this having anything to do with military capacity. It's all about the pork. If we cared about military capacity, we would have stopped long before we reached the "only aliens could beat us conventionally" threshold.
 
2014-01-14 09:14:28 AM  
Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?
 
2014-01-14 09:14:46 AM  

Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.


CSB:  My RWNJ brother in TN gave my parents a big box of outlawed incandescent bulbs for Christmas.
 
2014-01-14 09:15:37 AM  

TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.


1.1 trillion -- 45 billion split between the military and domestic spending, 85.2 for afghanistan but somehow some 130.2 billion equals a majority of 1.1 trillion in your world...

Good to know.
 
2014-01-14 09:16:20 AM  

fortheloveof: TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.

1.1 trillion -- 45 billion split between the military and domestic spending, 85.2 for afghanistan but somehow some 130.2 billion equals a majority of 1.1 trillion in your world...

Good to know.


AND... skip that I see where the numbers are -- math is hard.
 
2014-01-14 09:16:33 AM  

Danger Mouse: Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?


Who said it would pay for itself?
 
2014-01-14 09:17:13 AM  

what_now: It also provides an additional $85.2 billion for Afghanistan war funding that is typically handled off-budget.

how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?


The magic power of police-state thinking.
 
2014-01-14 09:17:14 AM  
Six day mail delivery continues?

(Yes, I'm old, and actually use the USPS.)
 
2014-01-14 09:19:26 AM  

Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.


That was a Bush thing, but do carry on.
 
2014-01-14 09:19:55 AM  

TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.


Meanwhile, military contractors get into embarrassing shenanigans.
 
2014-01-14 09:21:14 AM  

Danger Mouse: Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?


Well it just did save the government money. They cut total funding for Health and Human services by 1 billion this year.
 
2014-01-14 09:21:53 AM  
According to a House Republican summary, a public health fund will be reduced by $1 billion to prevent Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius from "raiding" these funds to spend on Obamacare insurance exchanges.

But Republicans did get a policy provision into the measure that prohibits funding of the Obama administration's "light bulb standard,"


What the hell do these things actually mean from a practical, reality-based, perspective?
 
2014-01-14 09:22:47 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.

CSB:  My RWNJ brother in TN gave my parents a big box of outlawed incandescent bulbs for Christmas.


Your RWNJ brother has a typical RWNJ terrible sense of humor and is cheap as hell.
 
2014-01-14 09:25:39 AM  

Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.


If it's dark, they have a hard time telling a tan person from a blah person.
 
2014-01-14 09:26:36 AM  

mrshowrules: The long term National security of the US would be better served by having a generation of highly skilled/educated people. Give everyone a free university education for 20 years.


The interesting topic is that there is a difference between "free university education" and "subsidizing commercial university tuition". One drives the cost of universities up because it is free money for schools, the other drives the cost of tuition down.
 
2014-01-14 09:27:06 AM  

Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.


Obama and his infernal time machine: "Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007" - passed by a Democratic House and signed by Dubya.

what_now: It also provides an additional $85.2 billion for Afghanistan war funding that is typically handled off-budget.

how the fark does that work? How can that much money be "handled off-budget"?


Two wars' worth so far. The best part is Regressives can then argue that the military budget is far lower than actual because it doesn't actually reflect what is spent.
 
2014-01-14 09:28:10 AM  

sno man: Shostie: They don't want revenge on the light bulbs. They want revenge on Obama for taking away their light bulbs.

That was a Bush thing, but do carry on.


The Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 passed both houses of Congress with a veto-proof majority.  Senator Obama voted in favor.  So yeah, he is marginally more responsible than george w. bush for taking yer light bulbs.
 
2014-01-14 09:30:15 AM  

fortheloveof: fortheloveof: TheGregiss: I like how the military gets the majority of the budget while the important part, the people, get farked over.


Goddamn this farking country.

1.1 trillion -- 45 billion split between the military and domestic spending, 85.2 for afghanistan but somehow some 130.2 billion equals a majority of 1.1 trillion in your world...

Good to know.

AND... skip that I see where the numbers are -- math is hard.


So you're done with trimming 2 trillion from the 7 trillion we spend on the military and dumping it into say...education here in the us? Cause that would still leave the military making hand over fist more than anyone else.

You know the military has won one war since 1990 Persian gulf. You would think they would be able to actually win a couple wars with the kind of money they're sucking out of the tit of the government.

Welfare reform, I know where to start.
 
2014-01-14 09:30:51 AM  

clkeagle: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.

I swear you've used that one before... Why hasn't it been added to the Urban Dictionary yet?


Went to Urban Dictionary hoping for a definition.
/Sadly it is lacking one
 
2014-01-14 09:33:09 AM  
Do you think that a real, muscular man like Chris Christie would compromise?  Never!  Compromise is for feminized America - not real America.
 
2014-01-14 09:35:11 AM  

Danger Mouse: Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?


auditorydumpling.com

Who's repeating the tired out conservative talking points?  Is it you? Yes it is! Yes it is!
 
2014-01-14 09:36:08 AM  
 the Obama administration's "light bulb standard,"


the liberal media, folks
 
2014-01-14 09:38:14 AM  

qorkfiend: Danger Mouse: Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?

Who said it would pay for itself?


He's confused Obamacare with the Iraq war.
 
2014-01-14 09:40:50 AM  

clkeagle: Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.

I swear you've used that one before... Why hasn't it been added to the Urban Dictionary yet?


You know what, I'm pretty sure I did now that you mention it. Damn. Shuolda went with the even-rarer Kilimanjaro Wildebeest Churn, but who has time to set up all those traffic cones and White Lion posters?
 
2014-01-14 09:40:54 AM  

hinten: mrshowrules: The long term National security of the US would be better served by having a generation of highly skilled/educated people. Give everyone a free university education for 20 years.

The interesting topic is that there is a difference between "free university education" and "subsidizing commercial university tuition". One drives the cost of universities up because it is free money for schools, the other drives the cost of tuition down.


I'm not sure what the solution is but it would involve putting ongodly amounts of money into education.  Perhaps a much as half of defense spending but I'm talking crazy now.
 
2014-01-14 09:41:07 AM  

James!: qorkfiend: Danger Mouse: Whoa...no funding for Obmacare?  I thought Obamacare was going to pay for itself, save they "typical" familly $2500 and reduce the deficit?

Who said it would pay for itself?

He's confused Obamacare with the Iraq war.


Yeah... he's projecting.
 
2014-01-14 09:41:19 AM  

Graffito: Do you think that a real, muscular man like Chris Christie would compromise?  Never!  Compromise is for feminized America - not real America.


Sad thing is, Christie would squeal like a baby if he had to go through any feminized experiences like childbirth.
 
2014-01-14 09:43:42 AM  
I know we're all jaded and stuff, and most of us are used to the military-industrial complex and military worship, but this just kinda made me sad to see it in print:  "total non-war spending of about $520.5 billion under the bill, while agencies focused on domestic programs will get $491.8 billion"
 
2014-01-14 09:53:59 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I can't believe it's already 7:48AM and I'm not seeing Rand Paul crowbarring his way onto the cable news channels screaming about how this budget is exactly the same as holding George Washington's face in Stalin's buttcrack while ol' Joe blasts out the most heinous cabbage and goulash farts as the Statue of Liberty is forced to give Chinese tourists a Guatemalan Otter Squat and Monticello is converted into the world's first Atheist Mosque just in time for Obama to tear off his suit to reveal a "Destroy America Now, Ask Me How" shirt before he hands over the United States and swears eternal fealty to a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item.


Magic, dude.  Pure magic.
 
2014-01-14 09:54:57 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: a Voltron made out of Satan, Darwin, Pelosi, Amanda Bynes and the guy who refuses to make the McRib a full-time menu item


Fark is not your personal erotica site.

// and stay outta my fappin' drawer!
 
2014-01-14 09:57:18 AM  
TIL: there are otters in Guatemala.
 
2014-01-14 10:00:30 AM  

mrshowrules: I'm not sure what the solution is but it would involve putting ongodly amounts of money into education. Perhaps a much as half of defense spending but I'm talking crazy now.


If you're talking about spending at all levels of government, we already do spend more than half what we do on defense on education. Much more than half. By some measures, we spend more on education than we do on defense.
 
2014-01-14 10:06:50 AM  
But Republicans did get a policy provision into the measure that prohibits funding of the Obama administration's "light bulb standard," which prohibits the manufacture of incandescent light bulbs in favor of newer technologies that reduce energy consumption

Obama's light-bulb standard...sounds like the budget for Obama's time-machine is also still intact as well.
 
2014-01-14 10:14:29 AM  

thurstonxhowell: mrshowrules: I'm not sure what the solution is but it would involve putting ongodly amounts of money into education. Perhaps a much as half of defense spending but I'm talking crazy now.

If you're talking about spending at all levels of government, we already do spend more than half what we do on defense on education. Much more than half. By some measures, we spend more on education than we do on defense.


A Mars mission or a moon base would probably be the best way to re-fire education, research and innovation.  Actually, a fully functional moon base would probably be the best way to insure space security.

That's the solution.  Don't cut military spending.  Tell the military and NASA they have 20 years to build a fully functional, self-sufficient base on the moon.
 
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