If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Times)   Bringing more than 20 items may cause a vicious old man fight to break out in the Walmart express lane   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 20
    More: Florida, express lanes, Terry McAuliffe  
•       •       •

5314 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2014 at 4:11 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-14 04:19:20 AM
4 votes:
Excessive, but still. Fark those people. The other day I tried to buy a single tube of toothpase and the lady at the 20 items or less isle had a cart full, a check book, AND broke up the items into three groups with three separate checks for some damn reason.

Sometimes I wish I could get into the heads of these people and try to understand their thought process.
2014-01-14 09:34:30 AM
3 votes:
I would be OK with surcharges for excess items. Specifically, surcharges that grow exponentially.

Say it's a 15-item lane -- the 16th item might ring up for an extra dime. The 17th for an extra 20 cents. The 18th for 40. And so on and so on.

Then a slight miscalculation about how many items you have or an impulsive Kit Kat that puts you over 15 gets punished, but not severely. However, showing up in the express lane with a full cart will let them remodel the store.
2014-01-14 05:05:11 AM
3 votes:

Esroc: Excessive, but still. Fark those people. The other day I tried to buy a single tube of toothpase and the lady at the 20 items or less isle had a cart full, a check book, AND broke up the items into three groups with three separate checks for some damn reason.

Sometimes I wish I could get into the heads of these people and try to understand their thought process.


Or... get inside their heads and plant EXPLOSIVES ;)
2014-01-14 11:01:46 AM
2 votes:
I think being in the "X items or fewer" lane with more than "X" number of items should be a misdemeanor crime. We should be able to call the cops on assholes who do this. Seriously-- F♥ck you, you ignorant, rude, f♥cktards who do this. I'm standing there juggling a gallon of milk and a case of Coke, with things to do, and you're casually unloading 40 items and scanning them as ineptly as possible?! BITE ME.

For that matter, it should be a crime for anyone who can't operate their DVD player to attempt to operate a U-Scan checkout. Seriously, if you can't figure it out, then STEP ASIDE, DUMB-ASS.

Of course, it would help if Walmart had U-Scans that actually worked properly and didn't freak out when a breeze blows across the scales, causing it to seize up and whine "Unexpected item in bagging area" when you didn't put anything  in  the goddamned bagging area.
2014-01-14 06:15:40 AM
2 votes:

Radioactive Ass: Qwuix: When did 20 items become "express"? I thought it was always ten.

My local store has it at four. Cash only. Plus it's where they do most of their lottery ticket sales and cash payouts. It's either packed with a bunch of old people doing lottery or sparsely populated with 1 or 2 people at most if not empty. But it's almost always open.

I've used it when it was empty for more than 4 items a few times. They didn't care as long as there wasn't a line and it all fit into 1 bag.


Tried to stop in one local store with a similar "4 or less/cash only line to buy a pack of underwear because I knew I couldn't fit doing laundry into the next couple days in the schedule. Then the Prune walks up and thinks she gets to go to the head of the line at the register because she's returning 15 items.  People doing returns come first!  She's also buying 18 items but that's really only 3, because she's returning the 15! The price of each item is scrutinized rung up as marked, and as she's read it on the tags, and every item brings the same protest, it was supposed to have been on sale for much less! Advertisement out, scrutinized by her and cashier who points out the item isn't actually the one on sale.  But it's just like the one on sale, she protests, looking hurt and pathetic and helpless. Repeat identical "error" and logic 18 times, her as surprised and on the last item as the first... Yeah, sure. Pruny old biatch.
2014-01-14 05:12:13 AM
2 votes:
When did 20 items become "express"? I thought it was always ten.
2014-01-14 10:35:04 AM
1 votes:

Esroc: Excessive, but still. Fark those people. The other day I tried to buy a single tube of toothpase and the lady at the 20 items or less isle had a cart full, a check book, AND broke up the items into three groups with three separate checks for some damn reason.
Sometimes I wish I could get into the heads of these people and try to understand their thought process.


When stuff like this happens to me, I stand there and read every gossip rag in sight, then space out and smile at the offender until they get uncomfortable, since they know I should be seething. By the time they finally check out, they're so rattled they forget their checkbook.

Of course, I'm usually blazed when I do this. It's the only way I can deal with going out in public.

LittleSmitty: At my local Walmart, the express lane is almost always worked by the most ancient person in the store. Express lane my ass. The woman is so slow you can go through the regular checkout behind an elderly cat lady with 100 cans of cat food and a checkbook she doesn't bother to drag out until every can is wrung up, and still get out before the guy buying a pack of Camels in the express lane.
/hooray run on sentences


There's a gal at our Wal-Mart who is disabled somehow, and she is very, very slow. You can just see everyone in line standing there, then watching her, then getting more and more peeved. They only put her on the express lane, but she is just very slow. Has trouble with her hands, talking, putting things in the bags. I know it's her and I go to her line deliberately, just because. Because if that gal gets fired from Wal-Mart, she'll never get a job again. I can't even get a job in this town.
2014-01-14 10:14:48 AM
1 votes:
i remember counting some lady's items out loud once....she got pissed off and told me to stop.

Haha. Good times.
2014-01-14 09:27:49 AM
1 votes:

zepillin: Are they not the same by tally?


You count the number of scans that have to be made.

The beer is one scan. The cans are individual scans. What is important is the time it takes to ring someone up.
2014-01-14 08:27:54 AM
1 votes:
Some idiot in front of me in the express lane actually took the time (a lot of it) to go through his change and count out 97 cents when his total came to $3.97. If that doesn't deserve a cock-punch, I don't know what does.
2014-01-14 08:22:23 AM
1 votes:
MythDragon's rules for the express lane.

You are allowed to go 20% over the limit without incruing any face punches.

For example if the limit is 10 items you may have 12.
If it's 20, you may have 14.
If the limit is 12, you can only have 14, because you always have to round down. If your excess limit number is 2.9, it becomes 2.

Definition of 'Item':

An item is something in a container of any sort. A box of cerial is one item. A bag of loose fruit is one item. Individual un-bagged fruit (or similar edible items) is one item each, as it comes in it's own natural container (ie, the skin or rind)

2 for 1 priced items still count as two items. You are getting two items for the price of one item, but refer to the first 5 words in this sentance.

Items secured together (by the store or manufacturer only.) count as one item. For example like how Costco will have two gallons of milk secured together by that plastic thing and are sold as a set....that is one item.

Similar items are still seperate items. If you have 5 boxes of Swanson turkey neck and chitlins frozen dinners, even though they are the same brand and type, they are 5 items. This prevents people from trying to abuse the system and bring 8 shopping carts of the same thing and claim it as one item.

Compainion items that are not priced do not count towards your item limit. For instance if you get a box of salad from the salad bar, and it comes with dressing packets, those packets do not count toward the limit. If they are priced, this does become a grey area. Generaly it will be tolerated as long as it is not abused and understood to be necissary to go along with your inital item. You can't enjoy your salad for lunch without dressing, so it is allowed a pass. If you are buying supplies for a cookout, however, the rules remains in strict effect. Yes you need ketchup and mustard and buns for your hotdogs and hamburgers, but if you are over the limit, carry your ass to the slow lane.

Additional rules:
No coupons unless you are the only one in line. If you have already begun the checkout process and someone comes into line. You've got 5 coupons to wrap that shiat up.

No checks. Seriously, why are you writing a check for 10 items? Get with the damn 21st centuary and use your debit card. Hell, get some cash back for the next time you hit the express lane and save everyone some time.

Have your cash or card ready or at least easily accessable. After your purchases have been totaled and bagged, and the cashier is now looking at you like she expects some sort of action on your part is not the time to be digging through that overnight bag you call a purse to find your debit card which you leave rolling around loose somewhere on the bottom with your chapstick, tampons, perfume, panties that got dirtied the night before whilst banging your boss, lipstick, 4 bottles of water, flax seed bars, old corroded pennies and all the other crap you keep in there.

We understand that sometimes you can't math, and might exceed your allowable overage by another item or two. This will be judged on a case by case basis. This is judged strictly on a whim and can be affected by how bad a mood the person behind you is in, how quickly everyone needs to be at work, how hot you are, and other various factors. You may get off with a warning, you may get a face punch. It's one of the risks you will have to be ready to accept.

These are the rules that have now been set forth. I expect everyone to abide by them.
2014-01-14 08:00:48 AM
1 votes:

LittleSmitty: At my local Walmart, the express lane is almost always worked by the most ancient person in the store. Express lane my ass. The woman is so slow you can go through the regular checkout behind an elderly cat lady with 100 cans of cat food and a checkbook she doesn't bother to drag out until every can is wrung up, and still get out before the guy buying a pack of Camels in the express lane.

/hooray run on sentences


Your Walmart has people working the registers? You're lucky, the Walmart near me has like 500 checkouts and all but one of them is closed
2014-01-14 07:54:15 AM
1 votes:
At my local Walmart, the express lane is almost always worked by the most ancient person in the store. Express lane my ass. The woman is so slow you can go through the regular checkout behind an elderly cat lady with 100 cans of cat food and a checkbook she doesn't bother to drag out until every can is wrung up, and still get out before the guy buying a pack of Camels in the express lane.

/hooray run on sentences
2014-01-14 07:50:24 AM
1 votes:

zepillin: So is 5 @ .99, 5 items or one item?


It's five items. It doesn't matter what the price is, it's the number of items that need to be handled and scanned.

If a six pack of beer is one item, how can four singles rung 4@ be considered to be four items?

A six-pack has a single code, four bottles require four separate scans. Yes, there are some cashiers that are clueful enough to see four of the same thing, scan one and press "4," but they seem to get better jobs pretty quickly and leave so you have to assume the typical mouth breather cashier.

My big issue with the guy in the article is that he waited until the other fellow already was putting stuff on the belt. At that point it's too late and you might as well hold your damned tongue. You yell at people when they're still in line and their stuff is still in the cart.
2014-01-14 07:04:58 AM
1 votes:
Signs are only put up for other people, they don't apply to you
2014-01-14 06:58:58 AM
1 votes:

fasahd: I ran in to the grocery for a pack of beer. There was a long line at the ten item express. and customer service counter. So I moved over to the next lane and two people with carts sent me to the front of the line. I'm fortunate. People seem to be polite here.


I'll often do that, especially if I see that they have cash in hand. I can wait the extra 30 seconds or so.
2014-01-14 06:51:23 AM
1 votes:
my peev is when a family owned little store has the cashier also answering the phone. the phone rings and the cashier pays more attention to the caller asking about a item then they do to the customer that is in the store with money in hand and their items ready to be checked out. put the damn caller on hold immediately and wait on us who are already in the store. come to think of it the chain stores for auto parts can be the worse for having the phone always ringing and the part's guys walking away to look for something for the caller instead of finishing waiting on us.
2014-01-14 06:19:58 AM
1 votes:
I always wonder why the person working the checkout doesn't send these ass-hats away. This always seems to happen to me when I need to run in and pick up one or two things. It's either them or the jags with full carts at the self checkout who need help because they don't know what the fark their doing. How do people that stupid function?
2014-01-14 05:54:29 AM
1 votes:
My life is such that I am roped into taking my mother-in-law to the Muncie, Indiana Wal-Mart on alternating Saturdays. For reasons that I'm sure are based on the area's demographics, there are NO self-checkouts in that place. So you need to pick which of the three open lanes (in a packed store), you'd like to waste a chunk of your life in.

Said choice is followed, inevitably, by at least a twenty-minute wait, "express lane" or no, behind some white trash couple with a baby, two loud, hyperactive toddlers, and one in the oven as they locate their food stamps (literal, printed on paper, certificates) and hand them to the cashier. The cashier must then sort the certificates and the contents of two heaping grocer carts, take out a calculator and a three-ring binder, do calculations, fill out some goddamn form or six, and argue with the freeloading idiots who always seem to think that the store is trying to screw them out of something. At some point in this process, one or both of the couple will look at the next person in line (me), and crack some joke about taking so long.

Yes, I can understand where the equivalent to road rage might crop up in such an environment.
2014-01-14 04:20:59 AM
1 votes:
I can understand the rage. You ever get in the 20 items or less line to buy a pack of cigarettes only to have people with 2 carts full of crap in front of you,you calmly wait until you can take no more after a woman argues with the cashier about marbolo lights being $20 off at speedway then you just set your shiat down and walk out.
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report