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(Daily Mail)   There's nothing like a warm cup of virgin cow urine in the morning   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 48
    More: Sick, Hindu, Chin chin, cow urine  
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3784 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 4:39 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-13 04:01:28 PM
weirdthings.com
 
2014-01-13 04:39:45 PM
There's nothing like a warm cup of virgin cow urine in the morning

Thank heaven.
 
2014-01-13 04:40:05 PM
Boy are they going to be embarrassed when they find out the cow isn't a virgin. Drinking all that cow urine for nothing!
 
2014-01-13 04:42:14 PM
Call it what you like, but I still like my Corona.
 
2014-01-13 04:44:47 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-01-13 04:46:07 PM
CSB: When I was working in an immigration detention facility years ago, we had all sorts of whackjobs trying to come into Canada without proper documentation. They'd be detained by the federal government until they were identified properly and released, or sent to jail if they were criminals trying to flee crimes in their mother countries, or they'd be turned around after a quick hearing and sent back on the next flight out, etc..

One crazy Jamaican woman was detained for months at our facility while her paperwork/hearings were being processed and she did the weirdest shiat. One of which was peeing into a bowl and soaking her arm in it for hours to cure a rash that she had. What type of rash I don't know and don't want to know but the ointment she got after seeing a nurse was ignored...always had to use pee for some reason. You can imagine what she and her room smelled like. I believe she was referred to as 'the Voodoo lady' by the staff, and thank god when she was finally shiatcanned out of this country.

/end CSB
 
2014-01-13 04:46:30 PM
Articles like these remind me that there are people on the same level of crazy as Scientology all over the place.
 
2014-01-13 04:46:33 PM

farkingismybusiness: Boy are they going to be embarrassed when they find out the cow isn't a virgin. Drinking all that cow urine for nothing!


nobody say nothing!
 
2014-01-13 04:47:17 PM
content6.flixster.com

Obscure?
 
2014-01-13 04:59:18 PM
I really want to know where these beliefs start.  Somewhere along the line, someone saw reeking cow piss and thought "I'm gonna drink that."  From there, someone had to make a connection between guzzling waste products and not having cancer.  I want to know who this person was and how often they were dropped on their head as a baby.
 
2014-01-13 05:02:19 PM

gopher321: CSB: When I was working in an immigration detention facility years ago, we had all sorts of whackjobs trying to come into Canada without proper documentation. They'd be detained by the federal government until they were identified properly and released, or sent to jail if they were criminals trying to flee crimes in their mother countries, or they'd be turned around after a quick hearing and sent back on the next flight out, etc..

One crazy Jamaican woman was detained for months at our facility while her paperwork/hearings were being processed and she did the weirdest shiat. One of which was peeing into a bowl and soaking her arm in it for hours to cure a rash that she had. What type of rash I don't know and don't want to know but the ointment she got after seeing a nurse was ignored...always had to use pee for some reason. You can imagine what she and her room smelled like. I believe she was referred to as 'the Voodoo lady' by the staff, and thank god when she was finally shiatcanned out of this country.

/end CSB


Voodoo Lady may be crazy, but urea is a well known therapeutic for many skin conditions. They even add the stuff to commercial skin creams. Link
 
2014-01-13 05:07:43 PM
... The best part of waking up
Is cow urine in your cup...
 
2014-01-13 05:10:12 PM

Bondith: I really want to know where these beliefs start.  Somewhere along the line, someone saw reeking cow piss and thought "I'm gonna drink that."  From there, someone had to make a connection between guzzling waste products and not having cancer.  I want to know who this person was and how often they were dropped on their head as a baby.


World Religions 101 (it's probably not a 100-level course most places, it was a 393 where I took it) is a class that displays the varying degrees of lunacy around the globe.  As odd as the bread/wine to body/blood transubstantiation thing is, it doesn't hold a candle to some beliefs around the world.  I read this morning that the conflict in CAR has involved certain groups of rebels cannibalizing their victims (doubtful it's because they are hungry)

static.environmentalgraffiti.com

^ they've got nothing on this guy
 
2014-01-13 05:11:52 PM
mmmmmmm

No, not like
"mmmmmm that's good"

More like a
"dude are you about to throw up?"
"mmmmmm, mmmmmmm, *yack* ... yes"
 
2014-01-13 05:13:12 PM
memecrunch.com
 
2014-01-13 05:13:30 PM
French press or percolator?
 
2014-01-13 05:13:41 PM
Isn't there a tribe in Africa that believes that cow urine can cure some sickness' ? Too lazy to Google it . Perhapes a smart Farker can help me out .
 
2014-01-13 05:14:55 PM

RottenEggs: Isn't there a tribe in Africa that believes that cow urine can cure some sickness' ? Too lazy to Google it . Perhapes a smart Farker can help me out .


Glad to. There are exits over there and to your left.
 
2014-01-13 05:15:15 PM
I like a nice cup of pee in the morning,
A nice cup of pee in the day.
And when its time for bed,
There's a lot to be said,
For a nice cup of pee.
 
2014-01-13 05:37:35 PM
But was it extra virgin?
 
2014-01-13 05:38:52 PM

CleanAndPure: I like a nice cup of pee in the morning,
A nice cup of pee in the day.
And when its time for bed,
There's a lot to be said,
For a nice cup of pee.


I like a good pee buzz early in the morning
And Billy likes to pee the labels off his bottle of Bud
But I'm sure his name is Mac or Bud or Carson or something.....
 
2014-01-13 05:41:11 PM
That cow looked like it had a calf and therefore was certainly not a virgin.

Bondith: I really want to know where these beliefs start.  Somewhere along the line, someone saw reeking cow piss and thought "I'm gonna drink that." ...


Not unlike  I'm gonna cut the tip of my dick off to please God. The fact that some people have mental illnesses that result in them hearing voices in their head that they think are God is one thing, the fact that they can convince other people to join in with their delusion and the following lunatic behaviour, is another altogether. The guy with the original idea at least has mental illness as a legitimate excuse. The rest don't.

There simply isn't enough people with a properly functioning brain in this world.
 
2014-01-13 05:48:09 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: [content6.flixster.com image 206x129]

Obscure?


Pff, this is fark, that was the first thing I thought of.  I love that movie.
 
2014-01-13 05:48:18 PM

yakmans_dad: RottenEggs: Isn't there a tribe in Africa that believes that cow urine can cure some sickness' ? Too lazy to Google it . Perhapes a smart Farker can help me out .

Glad to. There are exits over there and to your left.


Needs more exits.
img.fark.net

Nidiot: Not unlike  I'm gonna cut the tip of my dick off to please God.


After hearing about in some places they BITE the foreskin off and certain family members traditionally consume it ....
drinking cow urine is downright sane, right?
 
2014-01-13 05:50:43 PM
I like articles like this cause the Hindus I work with think all things Indian are better. I try to tell them the bell curve applies to all humanity, for every Einstein there is a Tickle, for every Ghandi there is an Aboo the cow piss drinker. Only reason there appears to be more smart guys from India in IT than average is simply that there are nearly 2 billion farkers on the sub continent.
 
2014-01-13 06:02:33 PM
On one of my trips to India I turned a corner in Pushkar and saw a little girl (probably 5 or 6) drinking urine straight from the cow. Just kept walking.
 
2014-01-13 06:04:14 PM

gopher321: CSB: When I was working in an immigration detention facility years ago, we had all sorts of whackjobs trying to come into Canada without proper documentation. They'd be detained by the federal government until they were identified properly and released, or sent to jail if they were criminals trying to flee crimes in their mother countries, or they'd be turned around after a quick hearing and sent back on the next flight out, etc..

One crazy Jamaican woman was detained for months at our facility while her paperwork/hearings were being processed and she did the weirdest shiat. One of which was peeing into a bowl and soaking her arm in it for hours to cure a rash that she had. What type of rash I don't know and don't want to know but the ointment she got after seeing a nurse was ignored...always had to use pee for some reason. You can imagine what she and her room smelled like. I believe she was referred to as 'the Voodoo lady' by the staff, and thank god when she was finally shiatcanned out of this country.

/end CSB


Due to an odd series of miscommunications, cultural and linguistic, and involving gin, I have indirectly caused three people to drink their own urine as a cure for the common cold and they swore by it after experiencing the results first hand.

/Don't do it.
//Don't plan on trying it.
///Only found out 18 months after the fact.
 
2014-01-13 06:10:18 PM

jgbrowning: On one of my trips to India I turned a corner in Pushkar and saw a little girl (probably 5 or 6) drinking urine straight from the cow. Just kept walking.


I would have been pissed off.
 
2014-01-13 06:32:01 PM
They are coming over here, taking our jobs! Next they'll be drinking our cow's piss!
 
2014-01-13 06:33:21 PM

bogmster: Due to an odd series of miscommunications, cultural and linguistic, and involving gin, I have indirectly caused three people to drink their own urine as a cure for the common cold and they swore by it after experiencing the results first hand.

/Don't do it.
//Don't plan on trying it.
///Only found out 18 months after the fact.


Now there is an episode of James Burke's "Connections" I missed!
 
2014-01-13 06:44:19 PM
It must be a joke; they're just taking the piss.
 
2014-01-13 06:57:09 PM
Seriously any MD type Farkers know if this is dangerous or just gross?

/could be as safe as clean water and I still wouldn't try it
//I suppose if you're diagnosed with a serious disease...any port in a storm
 
2014-01-13 07:04:25 PM
Nidiot Not unlike I'm gonna cut the tip of my dick off to please God.

Don't be so quick to dismiss that one. Long before they identified HPV they knew that women whose partner was circumcised had lower rates of cervical cancer
 
2014-01-13 07:29:30 PM

relaxitsjustme: Seriously any MD type Farkers know if this is dangerous or just gross?

/could be as safe as clean water and I still wouldn't try it
//I suppose if you're diagnosed with a serious disease...any port in a storm


To be fair, in India they don't really have clean water, therefore cow piss is probably the safer option over there.
 
2014-01-13 07:33:55 PM

relaxitsjustme: Nidiot Not unlike I'm gonna cut the tip of my dick off to please God.

Don't be so quick to dismiss that one. Long before they identified HPV they knew that women whose partner was circumcised had lower rates of cervical cancer


Whole threads are dedicated to the pros and cons of circumcision. Not really my point as much as the difference of deciding to do things on the basis of medical evidence, as opposed to doing it based solely on the word of someone who hears voices in his head.
 
2014-01-13 07:39:55 PM
Milk is just cow urine with better P.R.
 
2014-01-13 08:23:09 PM

Nidiot: relaxitsjustme: Seriously any MD type Farkers know if this is dangerous or just gross?

/could be as safe as clean water and I still wouldn't try it
//I suppose if you're diagnosed with a serious disease...any port in a storm

To be fair, in India they don't really have clean water, therefore cow piss is probably the safer option over there.


FTFA Only two things are pure in this universe, in this world. One is the water from the Holy Ganges river...

lol. You might be right about it being safer of the two.
 
2014-01-13 09:34:05 PM
FTA: 'Only two things are pure in this universe, in this world. One is the water from the Holy Ganges river and the other is urine from mother holy cow,' Ramesh Gupta, a Hindu priest, said.


Kind of a strange definition of pure.
 
2014-01-13 09:45:39 PM
I read the headline and the first thought that popped into my mind was 'India'.

After Africa, they're about the dumbest idiots on the planet. Then again, after you have your cow pee, you can go down to the Rat Temple and drink out of bowls of spoiled milk right along with the rats as a chaser. Have your morning wash in the sewer that is the Ganges, just make sure to push the rotting human corpses and floating turds out of the way. You might want to stay upstream of the women washing their laundry in the sludge-like waters also.
 
2014-01-13 09:57:42 PM

Rik01: I read the headline and the first thought that popped into my mind was 'India'.

After Africa, they're about the dumbest idiots on the planet. Then again, after you have your cow pee, you can go down to the Rat Temple and drink out of bowls of spoiled milk right along with the rats as a chaser. Have your morning wash in the sewer that is the Ganges, just make sure to push the rotting human corpses and floating turds out of the way. You might want to stay upstream of the women washing their laundry in the sludge-like waters also.


Don't underestimate the areas of Asia that are driving animals like rhinos/sharks to extinction because they believe tusks, fins, and horns are a panacea of some sort.
 
2014-01-13 10:03:22 PM

SquiggsIN: Rik01: I read the headline and the first thought that popped into my mind was 'India'.

After Africa, they're about the dumbest idiots on the planet. Then again, after you have your cow pee, you can go down to the Rat Temple and drink out of bowls of spoiled milk right along with the rats as a chaser. Have your morning wash in the sewer that is the Ganges, just make sure to push the rotting human corpses and floating turds out of the way. You might want to stay upstream of the women washing their laundry in the sludge-like waters also.

Don't underestimate the areas of Asia that are driving animals like rhinos/sharks to extinction because they believe tusks, fins, and horns are a panacea of some sort.


Name an endangered animal, and some Chinese dude is convinced on of its organs will give him a boner.
 
2014-01-13 10:30:33 PM

Rigger1955: FTA: 'Only two things are pure in this universe, in this world. One is the water from the Holy Ganges river and the other is urine from mother holy cow,' Ramesh Gupta, a Hindu priest, said.


Kind of a strange definition of pure.


If you had to choose between the two, the urine would definitely be the safer choice.
 
2014-01-13 10:45:16 PM
So I guess that cow's calf must have been conceived through immooculate conception . It must be the moossiah!

Commence worshiping .
 
2014-01-13 11:02:50 PM

Nidiot: Not unlike  I'm gonna cut the tip of my dick off to please God.


Like lots of other Jewish (and African/Arab) traditions, that one almost certainly started in response to a health issue.  With the foreskin attached, and before self-hygiene was routine, I can only imagine the infections that developed and the problems it created.  They just figured out a down and dirty way to deal with the problem.  There's a number of African and South American tribes which routinely use circumcision for the same reason, and they were in no way influenced by the Jewish religion.

It's fairly obvious when you look at the dietary laws which developed in and around the same time frame, the "tribe" was forbidden to eat those things which routinely caused sickness/death.  Shell fish (especially when culled from warm waters), pork (trichinosis) and other forbidden items were all major health hazards of the day.  Claiming that God didn't want you to eat it, was probably much easier than trying to use "science" to convince the gullible masses to stop eating those things making them sick. (Even if they really didn't understand the science of bacteria, virus's, etc. the smarter of the group certainly understood the concept of "cause and effect.")
 
HKW
2014-01-13 11:26:58 PM

Rigger1955: FTA: 'Only two things are pure in this universe, in this world. One is the water from the Holy Ganges river and the other is urine from mother holy cow,' Ramesh Gupta, a Hindu priest, said.


Kind of a strange definition of pure.


.... and this is why I never set foot in an Indian restaurant anywhere.
 
2014-01-14 01:25:16 AM
The virgin cow is pure and holy and delivers unto us life-giving, magical urine. The cow who has known a bull, though... just toss her on the barbecue. Is this a farm or the Catholic Church?

OHHHH
 
2014-01-14 10:38:29 AM
Because when you're drinking pee from beef that's been jiggled, the latter part is what's gross.
 
2014-01-14 01:28:59 PM
Drinking urine from a virgin I get, but from a cow...?
 
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