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(Gawker)   Fear not, man without butt crack still farts at perfect pitch (Not safe for work)   (gawker.com) divider line 54
    More: Weird, T-Bone, intergluteal cleft, farts  
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8376 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 1:44 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-13 01:47:17 PM  
I bet he still leaves skidmarks on his tidy whiteys.
 
2014-01-13 01:50:12 PM  

r1niceboy: I bet he still leaves skidmarks on his tidy tighty whiteys.



FTFY.
 
2014-01-13 01:51:49 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: r1niceboy: I bet he still leaves skidmarks on his tidy tighty whiteys.


FTFY.


Yeah, skidmarks certainly do not fall under the tidy description.
 
2014-01-13 01:51:51 PM  
I honestly wish I hadn't learned about doubledickdude.
 
2014-01-13 01:51:53 PM  
So no video or sound clip?
 
2014-01-13 01:52:31 PM  
Yes but how is his staccato? Or is it more of a glissando?
 
2014-01-13 01:54:25 PM  
Not-really CSB: I also had a pilonidal cyst. I was utterly unaware of it until I was 20, when I fell on an icy sidewalk and it ruptured. They're really miserable and gross.

When I finally got it surgically removed, I was left with four extra inches of ass crack as a result of how large and deep the cyst was. Since then, I've had people in various workplaces complain that I was wearing "inappropriate" clothing and been forced to prove that the area people are complaining about is a scar on three different occasions.

Anyway, pilonidal cysts COMPLETELY SUCK but given the choice I'd rather have no ass crack at all than what I've got.
 
2014-01-13 01:55:03 PM  
That's what he gets for not learning long division.
 
2014-01-13 01:56:01 PM  

likefunbutnot: Not-really CSB: I also had a pilonidal cyst. I was utterly unaware of it until I was 20, when I fell on an icy sidewalk and it ruptured. They're really miserable and gross.

When I finally got it surgically removed, I was left with four extra inches of ass crack as a result of how large and deep the cyst was. Since then, I've had people in various workplaces complain that I was wearing "inappropriate" clothing and been forced to prove that the area people are complaining about is a scar on three different occasions.

Anyway, pilonidal cysts COMPLETELY SUCK but given the choice I'd rather have no ass crack at all than what I've got.


They kept Rush Limbaugh out of Vietnam. You can judge their level of suckiness accordingly.
 
2014-01-13 01:56:08 PM  
Well, that's a relief.
 
2014-01-13 01:56:21 PM  

Hector Remarkable: I honestly wish I hadn't learned about doubledickdude.


Why?
 
2014-01-13 01:58:03 PM  
One buttock? Not three?
 
2014-01-13 01:59:03 PM  
Missed the picture...

i.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-13 02:01:01 PM  
Well that's... um... something.

:-/
 
2014-01-13 02:01:27 PM  
That's really half-assed.
 
2014-01-13 02:03:49 PM  
There's something that I'd really like to say
I'm glad that we're together every day
I wanted you to know, I've always got your back
And I'll be right here behind you all the way

I'm your buttcrack, I'm your buttcrack
Between your buns is where I'll always be
I'm soakin' up the shade, down where the fudge is made
I'm your buttcrack - that's me!

A buttcrack comes in handy, I'm not kiddin'
I do my best to keep your sphincter hidden
Sorry 'bout those skidmarks in your BVDs
Last night you ate burritos, too bad you had to sneeze

I'm your buttcrack, I'm your buttcrack
That pungent part of your anatomy
Something everybody's got, some are hairy, some are not
I'm your buttcrack - that's me!

(The aperture that splits your tush)
Where the sun don't shine
(The gap in your gluteus maximus)
That's the bottom line

I'm your buttcrack, I'm your buttcrack
I could use a change of scenery
I'm the crevice in your tail, I'd be popular in jail (*ding!*)
I'm your buttcrack (He's your buttcrack)
I'm your buttcrack - that's me!

Life sure is sweet in the middle of your seat!
 
2014-01-13 02:05:49 PM  
He'll never be a plumber.
 
2014-01-13 02:06:20 PM  
What a pilonidal cyst looks like.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-13 02:13:10 PM  

r1niceboy: I bet he still leaves skidmarks on his tidy whiteys

collar.
 
2014-01-13 02:15:08 PM  
On the plus side though, no one will be able to give him a wedgie anymore.
 
2014-01-13 02:19:24 PM  
pilonidal cysts are no damn fun.  Had to have mine surgically excised twice.  First time was just with local anaesthesia so I could hear (and smell) everything, including the nurses comments to the effect of "oh my god that's gross" and "wow that really smells awful".  It did.

Took forever to heal because you have this big gaping hole that has to heal from the inside out.  Hole has to be packed with iodine soaked gauze and changed daily.

// not a CSB
/// yea, to much information
 
2014-01-13 02:19:51 PM  

likefunbutnot: Not-really CSB: I also had a pilonidal cyst. I was utterly unaware of it until I was 20, when I fell on an icy sidewalk and it ruptured. They're really miserable and gross.

When I finally got it surgically removed, I was left with four extra inches of ass crack as a result of how large and deep the cyst was. Since then, I've had people in various workplaces complain that I was wearing "inappropriate" clothing and been forced to prove that the area people are complaining about is a scar on three different occasions.

Anyway, pilonidal cysts COMPLETELY SUCK but given the choice I'd rather have no ass crack at all than what I've got.


CSB time.  I got to help my brother-in-law change the dressings on his.  He had several cysts, it turned out, so the surgical wound was quite deep (maybe 2.5 to 3 inches) and had to be repacked with gauze daily.  He came to live with my wife and me for a couple weeks while this was going on.

Sounds like fun, right? That's not the half of it.  His other sister, who is an RN, changed the dressings for the first couple days.  Apparently she wasn't aware that there was a roll of gauze in the wound in addition to the gauze on the outside.  So by the time I got to change the first dressing, the "inside" gauze hadn't been changed for a few days and was beginning to stink to high heaven (and of course there was huge risk of infection).  I can still remember that smell. Anyway, not only that but the wound was beginning to heal around the gauze so it wasn't just going to come out on its own.  I had him soak in the tub for a while and then we removed it with tweezers.  Blechhhhh what a smell and it was the color of pea soup.  Of course the wound started bleeding profusely (probably helped him avoid infection though) and our bathtub and tile looked like we slaughtered a pig in there.  We couldn't stop the bleeding so we took him to urgent care.  Eventually they transported him to an ER to get re-cauterized.

/CSB

//I vividly remember two things from that night.  The smell, and the blood.  Blood, everywhere, and the smell of death.

///he's fine now.
 
2014-01-13 02:21:23 PM  

A Terrible Human: Hector Remarkable: I honestly wish I hadn't learned about doubledickdude.

Why?


Dear God, really? Because...it's haunting. Like Chyna's penis, something the Internet has somehow burned into the synapses of my mind's eye, and there is simply no eye-bleach that exists for it.
 
2014-01-13 02:25:17 PM  
propane, and propane acessories.
 
2014-01-13 02:29:39 PM  
I don't know about these ass cysts, but I get sebaceous cysts on my scalp from time to time. Not as big
as some of the ones I've seen being excised on YouTube though. The biggest one was probably the
size of a marble. They grow for about a year and eventually rupture on their own.

The first time one ruptured though, I was in church. You know that feeling when the skin on the back of
your neck starts to crawl? It was like that but on my head. I reach up and there's this wet, grainy stuff
coming out of my head. It was very unattractive.

So I head into the bathroom and tried to speed things along by squeezing it like a pimple. The damn
thing erupted and shot a geyser of...stuff...all over the bathroom mirror. It was like very liquidy, grainy
cottage cheese. Ick.

/ enjoy your lunch, farkers
 
2014-01-13 02:29:41 PM  
My goodness. I'm glad I had lunch before I read these comments. I'm about to gag!
 
2014-01-13 02:30:58 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-01-13 02:34:03 PM  
i299.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-13 02:39:57 PM  

likefunbutnot: Not-really CSB: I also had a pilonidal cyst. I was utterly unaware of it until I was 20, when I fell on an icy sidewalk and it ruptured. They're really miserable and gross.

When I finally got it surgically removed, I was left with four extra inches of ass crack as a result of how large and deep the cyst was. Since then, I've had people in various workplaces complain that I was wearing "inappropriate" clothing and been forced to prove that the area people are complaining about is a scar on three different occasions.

Anyway, pilonidal cysts COMPLETELY SUCK but given the choice I'd rather have no ass crack at all than what I've got.


Given that your profile says you're a techie guy, have you considered adjusting your work apparel, to a jumpsuit?
Just saying, easier to rock the Ghostbuster/flight suit look than explain your condition to overly sensitive office mice who are afraid of a little ass crack.
 
2014-01-13 02:57:54 PM  

Ishidan: Given that your profile says you're a techie guy, have you considered adjusting your work apparel, to a jumpsuit?


I ALWAYS wear a tucked-in T-shirt now. Even if I wear another T-shirt over it.
 
2014-01-13 02:57:57 PM  
Dana Carvey?

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-13 03:08:37 PM  

Hector Remarkable: A Terrible Human: Hector Remarkable: I honestly wish I hadn't learned about doubledickdude.

Why?

Dear God, really? Because...it's haunting. Like Chyna's penis, something the Internet has somehow burned into the synapses of my mind's eye, and there is simply no eye-bleach that exists for it.


Eh it's just two dicks on one dude. Nothing that bad about it. I thought you were going to say you were jealous or something.
/Haunted by Penises would be a good band name.
 
2014-01-13 03:27:07 PM  
pbs.twimg.com

Approves.

/hot like Connie
 
2014-01-13 03:27:54 PM  
www.adventuresinpoortaste.com

.. challenge accepted.

//first?
///really?!
 
2014-01-13 03:29:12 PM  
Pilonidal cysts are proof that God hates us.
/almost missed high school graduation b/c of one
 
2014-01-13 03:37:06 PM  
My butt is broke... has a crack in it.
 
2014-01-13 03:39:58 PM  
To the farkers that have the PC, honestly, I'm so sorry you had to endure all that pain and stuff. Hope you're all doing much better now.
 
2014-01-13 03:44:06 PM  
Holy shiat you guys are on fire with the csbs in this thread.

Give me a few minutes to barf my brains out and then inspect my ass for the afternoon
 
2014-01-13 03:55:56 PM  
www.wired.com
 
2014-01-13 04:07:57 PM  
I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.
 
2014-01-13 04:13:14 PM  

A Terrible Human: Hector Remarkable: A Terrible Human: Hector Remarkable: I honestly wish I hadn't learned about doubledickdude.

Why?

Dear God, really? Because...it's haunting. Like Chyna's penis, something the Internet has somehow burned into the synapses of my mind's eye, and there is simply no eye-bleach that exists for it.

Eh it's just two dicks on one dude. Nothing that bad about it.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-13 04:17:49 PM  

zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.


You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.
 
2014-01-13 04:26:26 PM  

digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.



Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.
 
2014-01-13 04:34:09 PM  

zimbomba63: digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.


Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.


I will take your word for it :)
 
2014-01-13 04:36:59 PM  

zimbomba63: digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.


Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.


Meh, MSRA is much worse.
 
2014-01-13 04:49:57 PM  

Vector R: zimbomba63: digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.


Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.

Meh, MSRA is much worse.


I've had CA-MRSA, too. MRSA definitely hurt more but I only had to put up with it for around six months before I finally got some meds that worked for me. I'm still technically a carrier though.

The cyst was present for around a year and a half and required several surgeries to correct. It bled constantly and couldn't really be dressed except to replace cotton pads several times a day. And it smelled like death. Not B.O.or crap but more like dead animal.

I'd say it's a draw but maybe I was just lucky with my staph infection.
 
2014-01-13 05:48:43 PM  

likefunbutnot: Vector R: zimbomba63: digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.


Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.

Meh, MSRA is much worse.

I've had CA-MRSA, too. MRSA definitely hurt more but I only had to put up with it for around six months before I finally got some meds that worked for me. I'm still technically a carrier though.

The cyst was present for around a year and a half and required several surgeries to correct. It bled constantly and couldn't really be dressed except to replace cotton pads several times a day. And it smelled like death. Not B.O.or crap but more like dead animal.

I'd say it's a draw but maybe I was just lucky with my staph infection.


What has this turned into, a dick waving contest over disgusting, slow healing, infected wounds? This is so typically Fark!
 
2014-01-13 06:23:49 PM  

zimbomba63: likefunbutnot: Vector R: zimbomba63: digitalrain: zimbomba63: I've looked these pilonidal cysts up, and have decided that I don't want one of those, now or in the foreseeable future.

You're braver than I. I haven't been able to summon up the courage to GIS it yet.


Believe me, you're not missing anything.  Some say, "Ignorance is bliss".  This is one of those times.

Meh, MSRA is much worse.

I've had CA-MRSA, too. MRSA definitely hurt more but I only had to put up with it for around six months before I finally got some meds that worked for me. I'm still technically a carrier though.

The cyst was present for around a year and a half and required several surgeries to correct. It bled constantly and couldn't really be dressed except to replace cotton pads several times a day. And it smelled like death. Not B.O.or crap but more like dead animal.

I'd say it's a draw but maybe I was just lucky with my staph infection.

What has this turned into, a dick waving contest over disgusting, slow healing, infected wounds? This is so typically Fark!


Yes. Welcome to it. We welcome you.
 
2014-01-13 11:52:35 PM  
That's enough internet for today.
 
2014-01-14 12:00:08 AM  
Hell no am I going to that article.
 
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