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(Lincolnshire Echo)   Sexy and you know it- Great Grandma celebrating her 100th birthday with a male stripper ended up with whipped cream on her face to the sound of LMFAO   (lincolnshireecho.co.uk) divider line 53
    More: Strange, male stripper, LMFAO, celebrations  
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5345 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 11:37 AM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-13 11:27:33 AM
I'd say should could extend her longevity by stealing his life essence but strippers have no souls.
 
2014-01-13 11:38:35 AM
I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.
 
2014-01-13 11:40:15 AM
GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.
 
2014-01-13 11:40:56 AM
The doctor said she had the heart and lungs of a 30 year old.

[pause]
 
2014-01-13 11:41:09 AM

ChipNASA: GGGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.


/Missed a "g"....ftfy.
 
2014-01-13 11:41:18 AM
FTFA: ""She's in great health for her age - the doctor says she has the heart and lungs of a 30-year-old," added Barry, 58."

Does the 30-year-old know she's got 'em?
 
2014-01-13 11:45:06 AM

Mangoose: I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.


You could compare her to the Grand Canyon, which is just as old, and still a good crack.
 
2014-01-13 11:46:09 AM
awesomegifs.com
 
2014-01-13 11:46:20 AM
It's so sad that this 100 year old granny wasn't at the party

i1207.photobucket.com
all she wanted for her birthday was a good dick!
 
2014-01-13 11:48:00 AM
That's not whipped cream!
 
2014-01-13 11:48:55 AM

Wellon Dowd: That's not whipped cream!


No, it's a pearl necklace.
 
2014-01-13 11:50:42 AM
Great Great Granny facials.

Okay then.

/bet she would have popped her dentures out and gummed on that thing like it was a piece of peanut brittle if given a chance.
 
2014-01-13 11:50:43 AM

dittybopper: Mangoose: I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.

You could compare her to the Grand Canyon, which is just as old, and still a good crack.


Her pussy smells like the great depression?
 
2014-01-13 11:52:37 AM

AbiNormal: dittybopper: Mangoose: I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.

You could compare her to the Grand Canyon, which is just as old, and still a good crack.

Her pussy smells like the great depression?


Go on....
 
2014-01-13 11:53:49 AM

Mangoose: I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.


Old slut walks into a topless bar and the bartender asks "why the long tits?"
 
2014-01-13 11:54:53 AM
As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there
 
2014-01-13 11:55:54 AM

LewDux: Mangoose: I am trying to think of an old slut joke but can't.

Old slut walks into a topless bar and the bartender asks "why the long tits?"


What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and an old skinny prostitute?

One is a phony buck . . .
 
2014-01-13 11:57:02 AM
Do you know how hard it is get whipped cream out of those crevices?
 
2014-01-13 11:58:11 AM

Diogenes: I'd say should could extend her longevity by stealing his life essence but strippers have no souls.


From the headline, I'd say she already tried it.
 
2014-01-13 11:58:38 AM
When they took the strippers blindfold off, he threw up a little.
 
2014-01-13 12:01:43 PM

ChipNASA: GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.


I like women up to 10 or 15 years older than myself. Some rare exceptions beyond that.


65 years older not so much.
 
2014-01-13 12:04:42 PM
We should all be that lively on our 100th birthday.

/By the time I turn 100, all the strippers will be androids.
//Insert Android/iOS joke here.
 
2014-01-13 12:05:30 PM
FTFA: "As a young woman, she was a keen rider..."

I bet she was
 
2014-01-13 12:07:25 PM

Cybernetic: We should all be that lively on our 100th birthday.

/By the time I turn 100, all the strippers will be androids.
//Insert Android/iOS joke here.


heh.  insert.
 
2014-01-13 12:08:50 PM

Cybernetic: We should all be that lively on our 100th birthday.

/By the time I turn 100, all the strippers will be androids.
//Insert Android/iOS joke here.


Obviously.

Although Apple will try to patent rounded breasts.
 
2014-01-13 12:12:51 PM

CleanAndPure: Cybernetic: We should all be that lively on our 100th birthday.

/By the time I turn 100, all the strippers will be androids.
//Insert Android/iOS joke here.

Obviously.

Although Apple will try to patent rounded breasts.


Will they replace their retina displays with areola displays? Oh man...
 
2014-01-13 12:14:00 PM

Johnny_Whistle: FTFA: "As a young woman, she was a keen rider..."

I bet she was


Aaaaaaaah bet she was, I bet she was, say no more, say no more, know whatahmean, nudge nudge?  Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!
 
2014-01-13 12:15:31 PM
Apple sexbots will cost twice the price of Android sexbots and only come in one model "Rosie O'Donnell".

They will brag youre less likely to get an STD from iRosie because fewer people will stick their dick in her.


There will also be a win sexbot but they will all come with both a penis and a vagina and claim this is what people want as it is more flexible.
 
2014-01-13 12:24:12 PM
Came for the story of the 100 year old home-ec teacher, leaving with the strangest boner.
 
2014-01-13 12:24:34 PM

CleanAndPure: Apple sexbots will cost twice the price of Android sexbots and only come in one model "Rosie O'Donnell".

They will brag youre less likely to get an STD from iRosie because fewer people will stick their dick in her.


There will also be a win sexbot but they will all come with both a penis and a vagina and claim this is what people want as it is more flexible.


Blah blah blah, Unix sexbot.
 
2014-01-13 12:24:50 PM
Mom?
 
2014-01-13 12:33:36 PM

fireclown: CleanAndPure: Apple sexbots will cost twice the price of Android sexbots and only come in one model "Rosie O'Donnell".

They will brag youre less likely to get an STD from iRosie because fewer people will stick their dick in her.


There will also be a win sexbot but they will all come with both a penis and a vagina and claim this is what people want as it is more flexible.

Blah blah blah, Unix sexbot.


Unix sexbot may have best performance but will be too complicated for the average Joe to operate.
 
2014-01-13 12:34:53 PM
Forgot to mention... win sexbot will be mouse (or hamster) compatible.
 
2014-01-13 12:41:32 PM

ChipNASA: GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.


Like the fist of an angry god.

Just to say I did.
 
2014-01-13 12:47:15 PM
CFNM
 
2014-01-13 12:52:30 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there


...I might regret this.

Are we talking BJ party, as in one slutty, raunchy woman and a bunch of dudes doing things that end up doing things probably better left in fantasies, but still good for a few wanks, or "BJ party", AKA what happens when you Google "lemon party" or "blue waffle"?
 
2014-01-13 12:54:40 PM

Clutch2013: TheShavingofOccam123: As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there

...I might regret this.

Are we talking BJ party, as in one slutty, raunchy woman and a bunch of dudes doing things that end up doing things probably better left in fantasies, but still good for a few wanks, or "BJ party", AKA what happens when you Google "lemon party" or "blue waffle"?


Goddammit, Android.

/by Android, I mean me
//proofreading, folks - it's never valuable until you don't do it
 
2014-01-13 12:56:47 PM

Clutch2013: TheShavingofOccam123: As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there

...I might regret this.

Are we talking BJ party, as in one slutty, raunchy woman and a bunch of dudes doing things that end up doing things probably better left in fantasies, but still good for a few wanks, or "BJ party", AKA what happens when you Google "lemon party" or "blue waffle"?


Well, the one I will discuss looked like a bride's stag party. There was a fully erect stripper with a can of whipped cream and a circle of women in chairs. I'll let you figure the rest out from there. Let's just say he lingered in front of several women while they enjoyed themselves.

/like I said it was my last Bing porn search.
 
2014-01-13 12:58:41 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Clutch2013: TheShavingofOccam123: As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there

...I might regret this.

Are we talking BJ party, as in one slutty, raunchy woman and a bunch of dudes doing things that end up doing things probably better left in fantasies, but still good for a few wanks, or "BJ party", AKA what happens when you Google "lemon party" or "blue waffle"?

Well, the one I will discuss looked like a bride's stag party. There was a fully erect stripper with a can of whipped cream and a circle of women in chairs. I'll let you figure the rest out from there. Let's just say he lingered in front of several women while they enjoyed themselves.

/like I said it was my last Bing porn search.


So, Option A, in reverse?

/well, better than I was expecting
 
2014-01-13 12:59:00 PM

CleanAndPure: fireclown: CleanAndPure: Apple sexbots will cost twice the price of Android sexbots and only come in one model "Rosie O'Donnell".

They will brag youre less likely to get an STD from iRosie because fewer people will stick their dick in her.


There will also be a win sexbot but they will all come with both a penis and a vagina and claim this is what people want as it is more flexible.

Blah blah blah, Unix sexbot.

Unix sexbot may have best performance but will be too complicated for the average Joe to operate.


It's the new masochism. Three hours of reading man pages and hunting down dependencies each time. Denial with a 21st century twist.

The win8 bot would switch which organs it's using at inappropriate times, and may brick itself if you install any unofficial software to work around that 'feature'. Still, there's a non-trivial market for that set of hardware.
But you can never turn off its camera, it uploads usage statistics each day or refuses to activate, and RROD gains a whole new meaning.
 
2014-01-13 12:59:13 PM

ChipNASA: GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.


Slowly raises hand with a sheepish look on his face.

78 is currently the oldest I've banged.

She was clean, tight, insisted I go bareback, and not pull out so she could "feel everything".

/There are a lot of freaky grannies out there

//I have done the MILF, GMILF, GGMILF trifecta from the same family

///No, not at the same time

\No, I will not post the pics
 
2014-01-13 01:03:44 PM

Clutch2013: TheShavingofOccam123: Clutch2013: TheShavingofOccam123: As someone who video Binged "bl*wj*b party", nothing surprises me anymore.

/it was my last Bing porn session...
/lots of sick people out there

...I might regret this.

Are we talking BJ party, as in one slutty, raunchy woman and a bunch of dudes doing things that end up doing things probably better left in fantasies, but still good for a few wanks, or "BJ party", AKA what happens when you Google "lemon party" or "blue waffle"?

Well, the one I will discuss looked like a bride's stag party. There was a fully erect stripper with a can of whipped cream and a circle of women in chairs. I'll let you figure the rest out from there. Let's just say he lingered in front of several women while they enjoyed themselves.

/like I said it was my last Bing porn search.

So, Option A, in reverse?

/well, better than I was expecting


There was a lot worse. FBI type worse. But yeah these were just a bunch of consenting adults using a stripper's schlong to taste each other's spittle.
 
2014-01-13 01:06:08 PM

illannoyin: ChipNASA: GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.

Slowly raises hand with a sheepish look on his face.

78 is currently the oldest I've banged.

She was clean, tight, insisted I go bareback, and not pull out so she could "feel everything".

/There are a lot of freaky grannies out there

//I have done the MILF, GMILF, GGMILF trifecta from the same family

///No, not at the same time

\No, I will not post the pics


...Fark is not your personal erotica site.

That said, for the purposes of this thread, I submit to the moderator that we let that slide. For now.

Next question - did the 78-year-old come close to Sophia Loren on the hotness scale?
 
2014-01-13 01:10:31 PM
You GO girl!
 
2014-01-13 01:15:52 PM
Um, we didn't have any whipped cream...

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2014-01-13 01:20:09 PM

fireclown: CleanAndPure: Apple sexbots will cost twice the price of Android sexbots and only come in one model "Rosie O'Donnell".

They will brag youre less likely to get an STD from iRosie because fewer people will stick their dick in her.


There will also be a win sexbot but they will all come with both a penis and a vagina and claim this is what people want as it is more flexible.

Blah blah blah, Unix sexbot.


Sure, but you need to recompile the kernal every time you want to do it in another position.
 
2014-01-13 01:22:24 PM

illannoyin: ChipNASA: GGMILF.

/Me personally?....no not really, but I'm sure someone here will fess up.

Slowly raises hand with a sheepish look on his face.

78 is currently the oldest I've banged.

She was clean, tight, insisted I go bareback, and not pull out so she could "feel everything".

/There are a lot of freaky grannies out there

//I have done the MILF, GMILF, GGMILF trifecta from the same family

///No, not at the same time

\No, I will not post the pics


There are A LOT of freaky old people out there. STDs are a huge problem in retirement/nursing communities. Most of the older people don't like condoms and as a consequence, they just spread the joy from one partner to the next.

That being said, I hope that when I get old (Ill consider 100 a blessing), I still have it in me to want things like that. Good for her; I bet that she would've banged that stripper if her family wasn't there (and he was willing).

As to you banging a 78-year old woman, I do not know how much she gets any, but you probably made her a very happy woman in her twilight years. Just because they're old doesn't mean they don't get horny.
 
2014-01-13 01:23:16 PM

Clutch2013: Next question - did the 78-year-old come close to Sophia Loren on the hotness scale?


Every old lady looks like that in the dark.
 
2014-01-13 02:29:13 PM
whatculture.com


/I bet she knows things.
 
2014-01-13 02:48:51 PM
illannoyin:
//I have done the MILF, GMILF, GGMILF trifecta from the same family

hero tag
 
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