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(BBC)   Central African Republic officials want to emphasize that that there is no cannibalism in militia groups. Absolutely none, and when they say none, they mean there is a certain amount, more than they are prepared to admit   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 142
    More: Sick, Central African Republic, foreign exchange reserves, cannibals  
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6498 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2014 at 11:29 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-13 12:55:46 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: You mean the part about the Muslim killing his family members?  I never said the Religion of Peace wasn't in play here.  But I seem to remember something about not taking revenge as a part of the teachings of the Christian god.  Or was I misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures?



Whoa!

/ mind blown
 
2014-01-13 12:57:41 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: DubyaHater: Benevolent Misanthrope: Ouandja Magloire, who calls himself "Mad Dog", was in a Christian mob who attacked a Muslim in the capital.

Ah, the Religion of Love...

If you're referring to the Christian, keep reading. There's more information at the end of that sentence.

You mean the part about the Muslim killing his family members?  I never said the Religion of Peace wasn't in play here.  But I seem to remember something about not taking revenge as a part of the teachings of the Christian god.  Or was I misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures?


Yep, this guy is definitely representative of the average Christian in the world. Or, you know, he's gone of the deep end and committed something horrific in response to atrocities in a place where atrocities are all to common.
 
2014-01-13 01:01:09 PM  

Son of Thunder: TheShavingofOccam123: Benevolent Misanthrope: DubyaHater: Benevolent Misanthrope: Ouandja Magloire, who calls himself "Mad Dog", was in a Christian mob who attacked a Muslim in the capital.

Ah, the Religion of Love...

If you're referring to the Christian, keep reading. There's more information at the end of that sentence.

You mean the part about the Muslim killing his family members?  I never said the Religion of Peace wasn't in play here.  But I seem to remember something about not taking revenge as a part of the teachings of the Christian god.  Or was I misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures?

Your error was doing something most modern day Christians don't do--actually reading the Holy Scriptures.

Really?  You mental giants want to turn a perfectly fun cannibalism thread into another atheist circle-jerk?  Just get a room.


A native guide returned to Stanley's camp in the African jungle.

The guide announces "We located Livingstone."
"Really?" asks Stanley. "How did you find him?"
"Delicious."
 
2014-01-13 01:02:35 PM  

EbolaNYC: Oh Goddamn it...


Yeah, we've done that skit frontwards, backwards, up and downwards ...all that's left to do is cook it and eat it.

;)
 
2014-01-13 01:04:30 PM  

Evil Mackerel: So, was he a good man?


What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans, man? That he had wisdom? Bullshiat, man!
 
2014-01-13 01:07:51 PM  
Something, something, modest proposal

/sorry, in a hurry
 
2014-01-13 01:08:52 PM  
That could have been Obama's son.
 
2014-01-13 01:08:57 PM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2014-01-13 01:14:30 PM  

Thunderpipes: That could have been Obama's son.


This is why you're farkied as King Troll.
 
2014-01-13 01:15:18 PM  
It's in Africa, the toilet of the world. If it's stupid, disgusting, criminal, insane and repugnant, then it is common practice there.

We really need an 'Africa' tag. They make the laundry list of the atrocities of the Middle East seem like a minor irritation and lead the world in 'traditional stupidity'.

Like slaughtering albinos to use in magic, raping virgin kids to cure AIDS and then there's that 'disappearing penis' plague that shows up now and then caused by witchcraft. (Of course, no one bothers to look down there at a victim to confirm his junk is actually gone. They just find the witch and slaughter them.)
 
2014-01-13 01:15:24 PM  
I will be taking my holiday at Lake Parhoe this summer.
 
2014-01-13 01:16:16 PM  
The BBC's Paul Wood sent this report from Bangui, which some may find distressing.

Why would it be distressing that he sent the report from Bangui?
 
2014-01-13 01:20:52 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: ZzeusS: cryinoutloud: These are the kinds of people who run around cutting off people's limbs, just because. I'd be shocked if they didn't also indulge in cannibalism.

Waste no want not, I always say

Really they're just being environmentally friendly. Instead of criticizing for cannibalism instead we should be highlighting the environmentally progressive nature of their actions.


I'm thinking of one word.  And that word is Nobel.
 
2014-01-13 01:23:04 PM  
If I ever visit Africa, I'm dressing as clown. Everyone knows cannibals hate clowns; they taste funny.
 
2014-01-13 01:24:30 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: DubyaHater: Benevolent Misanthrope: Ouandja Magloire, who calls himself "Mad Dog", was in a Christian mob who attacked a Muslim in the capital.

Ah, the Religion of Love...

If you're referring to the Christian, keep reading. There's more information at the end of that sentence.

You mean the part about the Muslim killing his family members?  I never said the Religion of Peace wasn't in play here.  But I seem to remember something about not taking revenge as a part of the teachings of the Christian god.  Or was I misinterpreting the Holy Scriptures?


Africans don't get a lot of things right, why should they be perfect at Christianity? Look at how badly they do Islam for Allah's Sake!
 
2014-01-13 01:25:29 PM  

Valiente: maudibjr: That is not upping my desire to visit the Central African Republic from absolutely no chance.

At a certain point, you have to stop blaming the former colonial regime and take responsibility for your corrupt shiattiness.


It's less 'corrupt shiattiness' and 'take a bunch of warfaring tribes, introduce crazy new elements and fark 'em over for a long time, then leave and watch the fireworks'. It's not very straightforward, and neither is life.
 
2014-01-13 01:27:58 PM  

deanis: Thunderpipes: That could have been Obama's son.

This is why you're farkied as King Troll.


Why? If Obama had a son, he would look like that. Works for you when he is spurring anti-white (Latino) hate, why not the other way around?

Anyway, was a joke, Cupcake.
 
2014-01-13 01:28:58 PM  

Thunderpipes: That could have been Obama's son.


Well lookie who wandered into a perfectly good cannibalism thread and pooped his pants.
 
2014-01-13 01:30:15 PM  

someonelse: Thunderpipes: That could have been Obama's son.

Well lookie who wandered into a perfectly good cannibalism thread and pooped his pants.


... and then rolled around in it.
 
2014-01-13 01:31:07 PM  

Snarfangel: Perhaps if I were in a lifeboat and had no food, I might eat the captain -- but what if he had a gammy leg?


img.fark.net
 
2014-01-13 01:35:04 PM  
Have we started again?
 
2014-01-13 01:36:42 PM  

Thunderpipes: deanis: Thunderpipes: That could have been Obama's son.

This is why you're farkied as King Troll.

Why? If Obama had a son, he would look like that. Works for you when he is spurring anti-white (Latino) hate, why not the other way around?

Anyway, was a joke, Cupcake.


Just go back under your bridge in the politics tab.
 
2014-01-13 01:37:33 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Would you rather walk 12 miles in the snow or taste human flesh?


why not both?
 
2014-01-13 01:44:24 PM  
Cupcake?

i586.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-13 01:51:20 PM  
 
2014-01-13 01:52:23 PM  

Snarfangel: Perhaps if I were in a lifeboat and had no food, I might eat the captain -- but what if he had a gammy leg?


We'd probably eat Johnson, then.
 
2014-01-13 01:53:02 PM  
i.imgur.com

Sounds like a hard life... but not as hard as Allie Brosh has it.
 
2014-01-13 02:01:49 PM  

Rik01: It's in Africa, the toilet of the world. If it's stupid, disgusting, criminal, insane and repugnant, then it is common practice there.

We really need an 'Africa' tag. They make the laundry list of the atrocities of the Middle East seem like a minor irritation and lead the world in 'traditional stupidity'.

Like slaughtering albinos to use in magic, raping virgin kids to cure AIDS and then there's that 'disappearing penis' plague that shows up now and then caused by witchcraft. (Of course, no one bothers to look down there at a victim to confirm his junk is actually gone. They just find the witch and slaughter them.)


"disapearing penis" is called "Koro"
That's pretty bad!
 
2014-01-13 02:02:00 PM  

edmo: Let's have a thread about clean, decent human beings.


Then correct the seasoning.
 
2014-01-13 02:25:13 PM  

Magorn: OK, I can imagine if my pregnant wife was murdered, along her sister, and her's sister infant; I would be enraged.   I would likely even be so furious I could see going out to look for payback, and even short-circuiting so I took it out on the nearest person that even LOOKED like they were involved.  What I'm not getting is step two.  The aprt where you vent your fury on the hapless victim and then say."you know, he DOES look mighty tasty...."


So very much THIS.

I can get behind blistering rage. I've been there. What I missed was the "logical" jump from kill dude to om nom nom on his leg.

Maybe it's a taboo thing. Meaning, dude who was dinner is doomed fiery eternity in (African tribal equivalent) Hell. Or, dinner guy's "honor" is somehow tied with the disposition of his earthly remains.

Or, more likely, none of the above. There's a Fark expert for everything though!
 
2014-01-13 02:27:34 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Nabb1: Magorn: OK, I can imagine if my pregnant wife was murdered, along her sister, and her's sister infant; I would be enraged.   I would likely even be so furious I could see going out to look for payback, and even short-circuiting so I took it out on the nearest person that even LOOKED like they were involved.  What I'm not getting is step two.  The aprt where you vent your fury on the hapless victim and then say."you know, he DOES look mighty tasty...."

Apparently, in Japan years ago, one of the greatest phobias people had was being eaten. It was some big deal that if someone ate you after you died, a huge fear, something to be avoided. I'm not sure why. In any case, in WWII, American troops wondered why Japanese soldiers often fought to the bitter end when it was obvious that the battle had been lost. Some surviving Japanese soldiers told their American captors that they had been told by their officers that the Americans would eat them and they were actually surprised when their captors did not start prepping them for supper. So, I guess, you know, if the people you have a grudge against have this deep-seeded cultural thing against being eaten, you could make it a point to dine on one of them as a warning to the others.

On the other side of the coin, many WWII Japanese soldiers ate the flesh of slain opponents. Apparently, supplies were a real problem. Allied control of the air enabled the destruction of Japanese shipping.


Japan truly deserved the atomic weapon surprise it received. They were worthy partners of Hitler.
 
2014-01-13 02:29:38 PM  

Nabb1: Dear FARK,

I am glad to see that your commenters disapprove of this article as strongly as I. As a militia officer I abhor the implication that the Central African Republic militias are havens for cannibalism. It is well known that we have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the Somali pirates who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden? Arabs? Yours etc.

/Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic


Awesome. Came for this, etc.

/We can bury her, burn her or dump her
 
2014-01-13 02:40:31 PM  

maudibjr: That is not upping my desire to visit the Central African Republic from absolutely no chance.


Well, for me it kinda upped it from, no way in farking hell, to OK, but only very reluctantly to the areas the French Foreign Legion protects (airport, government facilities, French interests. Perhaps most of the capital, Abuja, this was apparently from a town called Bongo or something.).

Gonna get me some blood diamonds.

---

Also, just remember to wear your lucky charms, they'll work (no not trolling, I watched the imbedded video).

i.telegraph.co.uk


I found it very funny in a flying spaghetti monster kind of way, how the BBC reporter matter of factly stated "these people are Christians, but also sometimes believe in magic". Ooook BBC, do they pay more at Fox? ;)
 
2014-01-13 02:49:53 PM  

Mr-Wunderful: As long as the cannibals are Christian I have no problem with this.


Also, he BBQed him first. It wasn't like savage, and no ketchup.

---

Just to not post whore.

But when this shiat really broke out, and the 10% muslim minority, well some of them, picked up AK47s and killing Christians for no particular reason.

I mean, they have to know the Christians are 90%, and also that France already had troops there (they always do, otherwise the airport doesn't work. (there's only one weekly flight to Paris)). So it takes the French a few days tops to airlift the Foreign Legion in, and now all the Christians are completely pissed.


Is that like drinking and snorting coke even though you need to get to work in 8 hours? Can't be that much of happy looting/killing Christians time they got in before it was real soldiers present, and apparently cannabalistic Christians.
 
2014-01-13 02:51:14 PM  
The Central African Republic is launching a new currency called the "Punch-in-Face" (Pf). This is due to the fact that is all these people comprehend.
 
2014-01-13 03:11:10 PM  
"But the most disturbing thing happened the next day, he said. "Mad Dog" returned, having saved some of the dead man's flesh. He put it between two halves of a baguette and ate it, with a side of okra. "

files.coloribus.com
 
2014-01-13 03:55:53 PM  

Carn: WWJE


No.
WWEJ?
 
2014-01-13 07:08:09 PM  

The Bruce Dickinson: "But the most disturbing thing happened the next day, he said. "Mad Dog" returned, having saved some of the dead man's flesh. He put it between two halves of a baguette and ate it, with a side of okra. "

[files.coloribus.com image 600x337]


Okra?  My god...things really have gotten terrible.
 
2014-01-13 07:58:59 PM  
Someone kills someone; someone gets them back.  Then someone gets THEM back, etc. etc.

Eventually, though, they're going to kill someone nobody cares about so the cycle will stop and that revenge thinking will be so much closer to leaving the gene pool.

I say let 'em dine...
 
2014-01-13 09:12:21 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Nabb1: Magorn: OK, I can imagine if my pregnant wife was murdered, along her sister, and her's sister infant; I would be enraged.   I would likely even be so furious I could see going out to look for payback, and even short-circuiting so I took it out on the nearest person that even LOOKED like they were involved.  What I'm not getting is step two.  The aprt where you vent your fury on the hapless victim and then say."you know, he DOES look mighty tasty...."

Apparently, in Japan years ago, one of the greatest phobias people had was being eaten. It was some big deal that if someone ate you after you died, a huge fear, something to be avoided. I'm not sure why. In any case, in WWII, American troops wondered why Japanese soldiers often fought to the bitter end when it was obvious that the battle had been lost. Some surviving Japanese soldiers told their American captors that they had been told by their officers that the Americans would eat them and they were actually surprised when their captors did not start prepping them for supper. So, I guess, you know, if the people you have a grudge against have this deep-seeded cultural thing against being eaten, you could make it a point to dine on one of them as a warning to the others.

On the other side of the coin, many WWII Japanese soldiers ate the flesh of slain opponents. Apparently, supplies were a real problem. Allied control of the air enabled the destruction of Japanese shipping.


Or each other:

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-14 03:15:43 AM  

EbolaNYC: Dear Sir,

I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I.

As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs?

Yours etc.
Captain B.J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.


Have we started again?
 
2014-01-14 10:52:29 AM  
TheShavingofOccam123 - don't leave out The Silent Service.  US subs sank ships by the gross tonage!
ko_kyi - for your reading pleasure may I suggest   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyboys:_A_True_Story_of_Courage
On-Off - Koro, George Costanza, not available for comment
 
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