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(Yahoo)   Dude, there are these places called "banks." They hold on to your money for you. And they have safe deposit boxes for all the excess jewelry, too   (sports.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, DeSean Jackson, wide receiver, Philadelphia Eagles  
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1997 clicks; posted to Sports » on 13 Jan 2014 at 3:46 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-01-13 01:19:39 AM  
$125,000 in jewelry

It's a safe bet that there wasn't a Super Bowl ring included in the missing items.
 
2014-01-13 01:52:04 AM  
God plan 4 me bigger then that!!

Um. OK.
 
2014-01-13 03:28:03 AM  

Kenny B: $125,000 in jewelry

It's a safe bet that there wasn't a Super Bowl ring included in the missing items.


blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com
 
2014-01-13 03:51:17 AM  
Why steal the guns with so much cash?
 
2014-01-13 03:58:36 AM  

mjones71822: Why steal the guns with so much cash?


Drop gun with DeSean's prints on it.

Pays for itself twice. Once when you bust a cap in yo dealer's ass, and again when you call a tip into Deadspin.
 
2014-01-13 04:22:50 AM  
The NFL doesn't care about its players.

Why wasn't he properly informed about the risks associated with not having a financial planner?
 
2014-01-13 04:28:21 AM  
I'm sure he's quite concerned, given what he's making.
 
2014-01-13 05:09:53 AM  
If he did go to a bank he'd probably leave it just outside thinking he was safely in.
 
2014-01-13 05:51:48 AM  
What would be the point of owning jewelry if you're just going to keep it in a safety deposit box?
 
2014-01-13 06:42:41 AM  

lennavan: What would be the point of owning jewelry if you're just going to keep it in a safety deposit box?


He'd drop the box right outside the vault.

/stealing Raider_dad's joke
 
2014-01-13 07:10:35 AM  
Broke by 45, probably sooner.
 
2014-01-13 07:21:43 AM  

the biggest redneck here: Broke by 45, probably sooner.


He's broke right now, he just won't realize it until the first month without checks.
 
2014-01-13 07:39:14 AM  

mjones71822: Why steal the guns with so much cash?


Easy to flip
 
2014-01-13 08:05:08 AM  
However, there were no signs for forced entry, according to the report. Jackson's mom reportedly told police her son's friends had access to his home

Yep, inside job. Time to get a new entourage, bro.
 
2014-01-13 08:09:09 AM  
I do what the really rich people do and keep all my money in a caiman.
 
2014-01-13 08:33:39 AM  
the biggest redneck here: Broke by 45, probably sooner.

This.
 
2014-01-13 08:43:21 AM  

bangmaid: The NFL doesn't care about its players.

Why wasn't he properly informed about the risks associated with not having a financial planner?


Not sure if serious, but it's early and I don't feel like doing any work yet so I'll bite:

The NFL does have a program designed to help players make financial decisions, and it's even mandatory for all rookies.  After the first year it's no longer mandatory, but the program is still offered to anyone that wants to take it beyond that.

So basically, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
 
2014-01-13 09:03:55 AM  
If you keep all of your money in the bank, what are you going to use to buy weed and coke?  Great spelling in his message.  His college must be proud.
 
2014-01-13 09:48:39 AM  

crzytxn: If you keep all of your money in the bank, what are you going to use to buy weed and coke?  Great spelling in his message.  His college must be proud.


Dunno about DeSean's upbringing but the bank is probably not the safest place for minorities or the poor to keep their money.  It's pretty easy for lenders to make arrangements with the bank to seize or freeze funds if they feel they're owed something.  At least with cash, the cops have to break down the door and find it. . . which they will do (Drug War and all), but if you stay under the radar you have half a chance.
 
2014-01-13 10:07:17 AM  

dragonchild: crzytxn: If you keep all of your money in the bank, what are you going to use to buy weed and coke?  Great spelling in his message.  His college must be proud.

Dunno about DeSean's upbringing but the bank is probably not the safest place for minorities or the poor to keep their money.  It's pretty easy for lenders to make arrangements with the bank to seize or freeze funds if they feel they're owed something.  At least with cash, the cops have to break down the door and find it. . . which they will do (Drug War and all), but if you stay under the radar you have half a chance.


This is so offensive in so many different ways.  Well done.
 
2014-01-13 10:14:40 AM  

Kenny B: $125,000 in jewelry

It's a safe bet that there wasn't a Super Bowl ring included in the missing items.


Probably stolen by Belicheck
 
2014-01-13 10:27:18 AM  

mjones71822: Why steal the guns with so much cash?


It's really easy to sell guns.  Certain people have been stockpiling guns since Obama was first elected since he was going to ban them and everything.

Check out Gun sales numbers from 2007 until today.
 
2014-01-13 10:27:20 AM  

INeedAName: I do what the really rich people do and keep all my money in a caiman.


Your financial planner:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-13 10:50:14 AM  

Raider_dad: If he did go to a bank he'd probably leave it just outside thinking he was safely in.


nice.
 
2014-01-13 11:40:05 AM  

browneye: the biggest redneck here: Broke by 45, probably sooner.

This.


the 30 for 30 on broke pro athletes was stunning and I can see DeSean in the sequel.
 
2014-01-13 12:46:10 PM  
If I had that kind of money and jewelry in my place I would have some kind of state of the art security system to go with it maybe even a panic room/vault.


monoski: browneye: the biggest redneck here: Broke by 45, probably sooner.

This.

the 30 for 30 on broke pro athletes was stunning and I can see DeSean in the sequel.


I remember seeing that and just pictured how they could piss it away so fast. Kinda like lottery winners
 
2014-01-13 01:04:45 PM  
Should have had an ATM installed in his kitchen.

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2014-01-13 01:11:37 PM  
 
2014-01-13 01:25:19 PM  

bangmaid: The NFL doesn't care about its players.

Why wasn't he properly informed about the risks associated with not having a financial planner?


You know its funny, if someone wins the lottery in Florida they are required to have a financial planner, some kid just from the ghetto and probably came from poverty gets a 10 million contract? meh rich people problemz.
 
2014-01-13 01:56:57 PM  
They stole the SAFE?!? d00d, you need a bigger safe!  And the 2 other safes were "cracked open".  Starting to sound a tad suspicious, how much insurance you got there, DeSean?
 
2014-01-13 01:59:12 PM  
I don't know about the bling and the guns but, the money was there because he was expecting a delivery from Biogenesis.
 
2014-01-13 02:08:06 PM  
I wonder which crimes those two pistols were used in that he's wanting to get rid of them?
 
2014-01-13 02:11:59 PM  

DupeOfURL: They stole the SAFE?!? d00d, you need a bigger safe!  And the 2 other safes were "cracked open".  Starting to sound a tad suspicious, how much insurance you got there, DeSean?


Insurance generally has a cap on cash. I think this was just a case of stupidity.
 
2014-01-13 02:45:06 PM  

Bigdogdaddy: I wonder which crimes those two pistols were used in that he's wanting to get rid of them?


That's crazy talk:
assets.nydailynews.com
 
2014-01-13 03:15:47 PM  

Mateorocks: Should have had an ATM Machine installed in his kitchen.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x388]


FTFY
 
2014-01-13 04:14:43 PM  
40 years from now physical cash will be hard to come by.  Or so  I think.
 
2014-01-13 04:49:48 PM  

degenerate-afro: Mateorocks: Should have had an ATM Machine installed in his kitchen.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x388]

FTFY


images.encyclopediadramatica.es
 
2014-01-13 05:01:02 PM  

degenerate-afro: Mateorocks: Should have had an ATM Machine installed in his kitchen.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x388]

FTFY


But what if he forgot his PIN number?
 
2014-01-13 05:48:31 PM  

degenerate-afro: Mateorocks: Should have had an ATM Machine installed in his kitchen.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x388]

FTFY


Pet peeve?

/It sure is one of mine
 
2014-01-13 07:59:36 PM  
Plus if the banks go and lose all the money, they get all the money back!
 
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