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(Jezebel)   Traditional American masculinity is on its way out, and men have no one to blame but themselves. Men are useless trifecta now in play   (jezebel.com) divider line 71
    More: Obvious, Americans, American masculinity, James Taranto  
•       •       •

8272 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2014 at 11:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-01-12 09:43:01 AM  
12 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2014-01-12 12:51:17 PM  
11 votes:
www.funnymemes.com
2014-01-12 05:05:06 PM  
6 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2014-01-12 01:29:37 PM  
4 votes:

Kanemano: [www.funnymemes.com image 600x600]


intradayfun.com
2014-01-12 12:03:22 PM  
4 votes:
TFA: we need to blame... men.

This is every Jezebel article.
2014-01-12 12:01:03 PM  
4 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-12 11:59:19 AM  
4 votes:
It's always adorable how women think they can say things into existence.
2014-01-12 09:37:16 AM  
4 votes:
TL;DR, too much henpecking.
2014-01-13 01:24:36 AM  
3 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-01-12 12:02:15 PM  
3 votes:

bunner: Ah, more

  broad  dame  and authoritative pronouncements from the misandry content farm.  I mean, I dunno.  It could be true.  It IS on the internet.


FTFY. You must respect their preference.
2014-01-12 10:02:15 AM  
3 votes:
Man up and stop reading Jezebel, nancies.
2014-01-12 02:56:45 PM  
2 votes:

JoieD'Zen: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: AbiNormal:

Jesus, they're making men without chests now.

This is worse than I thought.

This all started when men began waxing their chest hair.


There needs to be a Dove advertising campaign to promote chest hair beauty.
2014-01-12 02:36:25 PM  
2 votes:

AbiNormal:


Jesus, they're making men without chests now.

This is worse than I thought.
2014-01-12 02:28:48 PM  
2 votes:

ajgeek: grumpfuff: Is this the thread where men argue over what makes a "real man," while ignoring the fact that a "real man" wouldn't give two shiats about other people thinking he's not masculine enough/too masculine?

No one cares what you think. Go away and let the men talk.


image.spreadshirt.com
2014-01-12 01:10:38 PM  
2 votes:

cryinoutloud: We get tired of you guys always trying to take the boxes out of our hands, or standing around snickering because we can't lift 100 pounds like YOU can.

Well, congratulations--you're stronger than a typical woman!


Sounds sexist to me.
2014-01-12 01:03:39 PM  
2 votes:
These types of articles remind me to thank FSM that I'm not a Fat Chick.
2014-01-12 12:29:38 PM  
2 votes:
To be fair, "traditional femininity" (e.g. women who aren't morbidly obese) has also gone the way of the dodo bird.
2014-01-12 12:26:25 PM  
2 votes:

Gentoolive: The sissification of men started long ago. Do you notice in old black and white tv programs the father figure is a standup, respected leader of the household.

Nowadays the father figure is the brunt of any joke on television programs.


The "Father Knows Best" type was the straight example before shows like "Married With Children" and "The Simpsons" came along and subverted the hell out of that trope, to the point that the subversion *is* the trope nowadays.

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com

Nobody gives a fark about Daddy. Everybody takes Daddy for granted. Just listen to the radio. Everything's ''Mama. Dear Mama. Always loved my Mama.'' What's the Daddy song? Papa was a Rollin' Stone. Nobody gives a fark. Nobody appreciates Daddy.

Now, Mama's got the roughest job. l ain't gonna front. But at least people appreciate Mama. Every time Mama do something right, Mama gets a compliment... 'cause women need to hear compliments all the time. Women need food, water, and compliments. That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes. That's right. Women got to hear it all the time, or they lose their minds.

And get Daddy to make sure you thank your mama for everything. ''Tell your mama how good the food is. Tell her how nice the house looks. ''Tell your mama how nice her hair looks. ''Did you tell your mama? You better go in there and tell your mama.'' That's right! ''Tell your mama.''

Nobody ever tells Daddy shiat. l'm talking about the real daddies that handle their farking business. Nobody ever says, ''Hey, Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent.'' ''Hey, Daddy, l sure love this hot water.'' ''Hey, Daddy, this is easy to read with all this light.'' Nobody gives a fark about Daddy. l'm talking about a daddy that handles his business. Nobody gives a fark about Daddy. Think about everything that the real daddy does: pay the bills, buy the food, put a farking roof over your head. Everything you could ever ask for. Make your world a better, safer place.

And what does Daddy get for all his work? The big piece of chicken. That's all Daddy gets... is the big piece of chicken. That's right. And some women don't want to give up the big piece of chicken. ''Who the fark is you... ''to keep the big piece of chicken? ''How dare you keep the big piece of chicken!'' A man can't work hours and come home to a wing.
2014-01-12 12:17:35 PM  
2 votes:

gadian: baconbeard: I understand where the author is coming from. When the only men you encounter are the pathetic, pussified gamma males taking the same gender studies courses that you are (or post to the same news aggregator site that you do), it's easy to come to the these conclusions.

WTH is a gamma male?  I thought the hate was on for those pussy Beta dudes who like to hug, let their "partners" have girls' nights out, and actually...talk about how they feel.  Is there a new man-on-man hating division?



I'm an omega male. Yeah, ladies, I'm the last man on earth. Time for that date you promised!
2014-01-12 12:14:09 PM  
2 votes:
I remember when these harpies were screaming at men to get in touch with their feminine side.
2014-01-12 12:12:22 PM  
2 votes:

gadian: baconbeard: I understand where the author is coming from. When the only men you encounter are the pathetic, pussified gamma males taking the same gender studies courses that you are (or post to the same news aggregator site that you do), it's easy to come to the these conclusions.

WTH is a gamma male?  I thought the hate was on for those pussy Beta dudes who like to hug, let their "partners" have girls' nights out, and actually...talk about how they feel.  Is there a new man-on-man hating division?


A gamma male is a self-hating beta male... Or a Brony.
2014-01-12 12:09:40 PM  
2 votes:
img1.imagesbn.com
2014-01-12 12:04:16 PM  
2 votes:
I understand where the author is coming from. When the only men you encounter are the pathetic, pussified gamma males taking the same gender studies courses that you are (or post to the same news aggregator site that you do), it's easy to come to the these conclusions.
2014-01-12 12:03:49 PM  
2 votes:

FriarReb98: I blame hipsters.



I blamed hipsters before it was cool. But only the indy ones, you probably haven't heard of them.
2014-01-12 12:01:02 PM  
2 votes:

DanZero:


Whenever I read "cisgender" my mind thinks "Cisalpine Gaul" and I wonder what Julius Caesar has to do with Feminism.
2014-01-12 11:55:17 AM  
2 votes:

quickdraw: DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 600x445]

Have you ever met anyone like that? Because I never have and I live in Portland. Maybe you need to get out more.


wegotabadass.jpg
2014-01-12 11:51:57 AM  
2 votes:

quickdraw: DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 600x445]

Have you ever met anyone like that? Because I never have and I live in Portland. Maybe you need to get out more.


It describes you, doesn't it?
2014-01-12 10:52:45 AM  
2 votes:
I can cook, clean, do my washing, change my own tires, oil and spark plugs and light remodeling.  And do.  If I meet a bright, pretty and kind woman who wants to hang out and hold up her half of the sky, that'd be lovely.  As far as who does, what, I'm sort of communist about that.  Each according to their abilities, each according to the needs of the common good.

/badass sammich maker.
//can gap plugs.
///none of my white shirts are pink
2014-01-12 10:08:26 AM  
2 votes:
I blame hipsters.
2014-01-12 10:01:18 AM  
2 votes:
Ah, more broad and authoritative pronouncements from the misandry content farm.  I mean, I dunno.  It could be true.  It IS on the internet.
2014-01-12 09:50:59 AM  
2 votes:
Homo sapiens: the first species to DESERVE extinction
2014-01-12 09:17:42 AM  
2 votes:
Uh, yeah. Declining male power is largely the result of the economy making traditionally male-dominated physical jobs mostly obsolete.

"It's the economy, stupid"
2014-01-13 08:48:52 AM  
1 votes:
nerdreactor.com
THE FEMPUTER HAS SPOKEN!
2014-01-13 12:36:05 AM  
1 votes:

Ishidan: Go on, try to be a stereotypical "man"- loud, alpha-dominant, and burly--in an office environment.  See what you get.
/hint:  it's 'regularly called up to HR for disciplinary measures because somebody felt 'threatened'


We should be allowed to be racist and finger-bang our secretaries!

/$1 to Eugene Mirman
2014-01-12 08:53:21 PM  
1 votes:
I am so sick of the suggestion that I am some sort of effeminate loser simply because I am not a super-aggressive, testosterone-spurting gorilla.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to do some dusting. My sinuses!
2014-01-12 03:51:06 PM  
1 votes:

Death Whisper:


So what you're saying is, we need another World War to bring back manliness?
2014-01-12 03:28:42 PM  
1 votes:

Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: JoieD'Zen: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: JoieD'Zen: Barry Lyndon's Annuity Cheque: AbiNormal:

Jesus, they're making men without chests now.

This is worse than I thought.

This all started when men began waxing their chest hair.

There needs to be a Dove advertising campaign to promote chest hair beauty.

I don't want get naked with some guy that is so hairy he looks like he is always wearing a sweater, but men should look like men.

/middle aged

That's awfully sexist and objectifying. Men should be whatever they want to be, free from oppressive cultural norms and stereotypes forced on them from their peers and the media.


You sound waxed, with skinny girl arms..
2014-01-12 03:22:07 PM  
1 votes:

Lernaeus: Jezebel: proof that all problems look like nails if you're a hammer

 nail polish.
2014-01-12 03:21:44 PM  
1 votes:

zepillin: JoieD'Zen: men should look like men.

men have facial hair

boy's do not


www-tc.pbs.org

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
2014-01-12 02:51:10 PM  
1 votes:
Jezebel.com hating everything not Lena Dunham since 2008....

Isn't Jezebel the site that wants to tell me to shut my whore mouth on any issue regarding women because I have a pair of testicles and are thus wholly unqualified to have an opinion? And yet they have an article on the death of men.....

Jezebel reminds me of Breitbart.com except replace old angry white men with young angry multi-cultural women....
2014-01-12 02:50:37 PM  
1 votes:
We are to blame? There is only so much brow-beating we can take for being male. It wasn't OUR fault we were born male.

So sorry for not being born weak and catty.


/raised in a house full of women
//didn't stand a chance
///told daily the evil men caused
2014-01-12 01:59:19 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: Oh Jezebel. Your source for manufactured outrage, step right up.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Homo sapiens: the first species to DESERVE extinction

Very true. So true, it's truly true.


You go first...
2014-01-12 01:35:39 PM  
1 votes:
Is this the thread where men argue over what makes a "real man," while ignoring the fact that a "real man" wouldn't give two shiats about other people thinking he's not masculine enough/too masculine?
2014-01-12 01:26:21 PM  
1 votes:
Can we please just blame homosexuals for this, since they're apparently the cause of every other problem, and move on with it?
2014-01-12 01:24:27 PM  
1 votes:
As long as he dicks me down -and does it well- on a regular basis, I don't give a shiat if he manly-man beats on things with a hammer all day or wears lacy underwear.
2014-01-12 01:02:52 PM  
1 votes:

rebelyell2006: DanZero:

Whenever I read "cisgender" my mind thinks "Cisalpine Gaul" and I wonder what Julius Caesar has to do with Feminism.


Same here. Too much "Gallic Wars" and Suetonius in my younger days and not enough poorly constructed gender political debates, I guess.

Having said that, I'm looking for a female welder, because all the male ones are busy. I really don't care whether my tradespeople sit down to pee or not, but I've sure noticed that there's a huge shortage of people who can actually do things.

Note that "scribbling for Jezebel" is not "doing things".
2014-01-12 01:02:11 PM  
1 votes:

belhade: Admittedly I'm a fairly small, skinny guy. And a geeky computer tech to boot. After a day of being emasculated by the wife, I like to go outside and cut firewood to make myself feel better. Running a chainsaw, winging an axe, makes me feel manly. Except I always have the Lumberjack Song running through my head.


I get that song stuck in my head while cutting wood too, but I can never get the chainsaw to sing as well as Jackyl.
2014-01-12 12:55:00 PM  
1 votes:
At work. It's fun to see all the women make themselves scarce when it's time to unload the semi.
2014-01-12 12:48:30 PM  
1 votes:
Oh, this is a Jezebel article. Move along, women creating nothing of value here.
2014-01-12 12:44:19 PM  
1 votes:

FriarReb98: I blame hipsters.


I blame penis envy.
2014-01-12 12:43:50 PM  
1 votes:
Or you could just not give a fark what other people think of you. Works for me.
2014-01-12 12:41:51 PM  
1 votes:

Snarfangel: It seems to be a race between artificial sperm and sexy fembots in the battle of the sexes.

Ha! Just kidding. Fembots will be first, since men will have an incentive, and tend to be well-represented in science. Artificial sperm will arrive sometime after sandwich-making robots and motorized beer dispensers.


There is absolutely no reason to believe we cannot develop an artificial womb.

Then we can all be obsolete. Just robots breeding humans in tubes for no other reason than they've been programmed to do it, and humans wandering off into a wasteland to be unemployed and die.
2014-01-12 12:40:12 PM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: How the hell is his reflection on the hood of the car?


www.userlogos.org
2014-01-12 12:37:56 PM  
1 votes:
It seems to be a race between artificial sperm and sexy fembots in the battle of the sexes.

Ha! Just kidding. Fembots will be first, since men will have an incentive, and tend to be well-represented in science. Artificial sperm will arrive sometime after sandwich-making robots and motorized beer dispensers.
2014-01-12 12:37:36 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: walktoanarcade: Some "men" today do look as though they've made it a point to get help to lift any object they ever needed to lift because they are scrawnier than many women.

What i hate now is that if I want to ask someone advice about my car, I have to go find an old guy. The young guys know nothing. Which is OK, since I'm an old gal, but why can't I have a scenario like this ever?

[www.betcheslovethis.com image 367x600]

"Well, ma'am, I think you need a tune-up. A little fine tuning. You gotta grab hold and tighten up a few things, move them around some. On your car, I mean. Your car--GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"


How the hell is his reflection on the hood of the car?
2014-01-12 12:33:46 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: walktoanarcade: Some "men" today do look as though they've made it a point to get help to lift any object they ever needed to lift because they are scrawnier than many women.

What i hate now is that if I want to ask someone advice about my car, I have to go find an old guy. The young guys know nothing. Which is OK, since I'm an old gal, but why can't I have a scenario like this ever?

[www.betcheslovethis.com image 367x600]

"Well, ma'am, I think you need a tune-up. A little fine tuning. You gotta grab hold and tighten up a few things, move them around some. On your car, I mean. Your car--GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"


Hell, I'll give you a lube job if you-

what exactly do you consider "young"?
2014-01-12 12:28:50 PM  
1 votes:

AbiNormal: I remember when these harpies were screaming at men to get in touch with their feminine side.


That was a trap many idiot men fell right into face first.

There's a reason why some women are turning to the butchiest woman they can find. Now, I am not stating that all or even most are that way, but I have been in bars where I've noticed this, and the feminine women turn back to a strong man in an instant over a manish woman if the attraction is there.

No, I am not talking about real lesbians. The ones that are "on the fence" and dating an extremely butch woman on the other hand..

Oh, and of course my previous statements does not apply to true bisexuals, only barsexuals.
2014-01-12 12:27:49 PM  
1 votes:
So now "masculinity" = "upper body strength"?

Why is every Jezebel article I read even dumber than the previous one?
2014-01-12 12:15:37 PM  
1 votes:

baconbeard: A gamma male is a self-hating beta male... Or a Brony.


So, to translate into woman speak, a fat chick who hates herself for eating, but hides food in her purse and pretends that she was 300 lbs at the doctor's because she was wearing her shoes?
2014-01-12 12:13:29 PM  
1 votes:

MechaPyx: And the men just smile and nod and go back to being men confident in themselves and their ability to find a place in this world.


This.

*pats author on the head*
2014-01-12 12:09:50 PM  
1 votes:

baconbeard: I understand where the author is coming from. When the only men you encounter are the pathetic, pussified gamma males taking the same gender studies courses that you are (or post to the same news aggregator site that you do), it's easy to come to the these conclusions.


As a 34 year old single male with no children, what else am I going to do with my time? I just finished Assassin's Creed 4 and /b/ gets extremely repetitive at times.
2014-01-12 12:00:25 PM  
1 votes:
These threads are lamer than Jezebel.
2014-01-12 11:59:16 AM  
1 votes:

Saborlas: Nice to see that the pressure to be hyper-macho is lessening.


Let us all know when your testicles drop.
2014-01-12 11:58:05 AM  
1 votes:
Apparently, masculinity was defined by skin tight jeans, skin tight shirt and a scarf. How the styles have changed.
2014-01-12 11:55:41 AM  
1 votes:
We need meninism to get us back on par with women.

I'll be on the couch playing video games and being a grown-up kid in the meantime.
2014-01-12 11:53:34 AM  
1 votes:
I would like to give the author a pearl necklace.  Such an adornment would look good on her.  Of course, I would also like to see her blow on my whistle.  That would be enjoyable.
2014-01-12 11:32:53 AM  
1 votes:
Nice to see that the pressure to be hyper-macho is lessening.
2014-01-12 11:09:33 AM  
1 votes:
Ok, from now on can we refer to Jezebel as "BibleSlut.com"?
/I can't believe they were actually applauding the "death" of manliness!
//Well, actually I can, considering they seem obsessed with "the patriarchy" and seem to have a love/hate relationship with the male gender.
///Christ, we need to start toughening up our kids! Of both genders! If we actually have a real war, we can't be stopping ever ten minutes because someone has a boo-boo or wants to discuss their feelings.
2014-01-12 10:56:39 AM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I wonder about your underwear, though


Commando.
2014-01-12 10:55:54 AM  
1 votes:

bunner: I can cook, clean, do my washing, change my own tires, oil and spark plugs and light remodeling.  And do.  If I meet a bright, pretty and kind woman who wants to hang out and hold up her half of the sky, that'd be lovely.  As far as who does, what, I'm sort of communist about that.  Each according to their abilities, each according to the needs of the common good.

/badass sammich maker.
//can gap plugs.
///none of my white shirts are pink


I wonder about your underwear, though
2014-01-12 10:44:16 AM  
1 votes:

FriarReb98: I blame hipsters.


I blame a zeitgeist of "SOMEBODY HAS TO BE BLAMED!" being shoved under our noses like lilac sprinkled dogsh*t for four decades.  You don't have to pull a gun on people to steal from them.  Just keep them hating each other 24/7 while you pick their pockets.
 
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