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(Mother Nature Network)   Your cat thinks you're a much larger cat with good taste in food   (mnn.com) divider line 33
    More: Obvious, good taste, cat thinks, spaying and neutering, cats  
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12915 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2014 at 7:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-12 09:19:34 AM  
6 votes:
My cats think of me as a god.
Unfortunately, they're all atheist.
2014-01-12 07:45:32 AM  
6 votes:
My cat sees me as a giant squeaky toy.

/Grab the human's toes under while he sleeps and he'll make funny noises.
2014-01-12 07:11:11 AM  
6 votes:
My cat thinks of me as a chair that pets it and produces miracle food.
2014-01-12 03:43:42 AM  
6 votes:
My remaining cat dropped a live mouse on my forehead while I was sleeping six years ago, and to this day I'm unsure about whether or not he was showing me how to hunt or telling me to fark off.  One thing is for sure, I didn't sleep in the bedroom again until that mouse was caught.  I briefly toyed with idea of not feeding the cat until he learned mice were food, but my wife nixed it.
2014-01-12 09:10:51 AM  
5 votes:

Derkins: big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.


Just use it once to freak the cats out then have someone else clean the box and post the video to youtube
2014-01-12 08:00:52 AM  
4 votes:

Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?


My cats swarm me like circling sharks when I'm changing the boxes. So guessing "vision". My dog meanwhile is just hoping to catch a stray poo to snack on. Sick farker.
2014-01-12 07:50:18 AM  
4 votes:
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

--Christopher Hitchens
2014-01-12 07:43:19 AM  
4 votes:
Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.
2014-01-12 03:04:41 AM  
4 votes:
And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.


I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."
2014-01-12 09:47:30 AM  
3 votes:

Mad Scientist: "Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

--Christopher Hitchens


There are no atheists in litter boxes.
2014-01-12 07:28:10 AM  
3 votes:

Catlenfell: If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.


oddstuffmagazine.com

What do you mean by "If"?
2014-01-12 07:22:23 AM  
3 votes:
The provision of food is the only thing that prevents cats murdering us for our antics.

i.imgur.com
2014-01-12 01:42:40 AM  
3 votes:
My cat does not think of me as non-hostile.

He thinks of me as his ally in his never ending battle to repel neighborhood cats, dogs, raccoons, squirrels, foxes, bobcats, great horned owls, and other assorted vermin from using his dirt baths, gravel baths, and litter boxes.
2014-01-12 09:42:58 AM  
2 votes:
www.catster.com
2014-01-12 09:34:38 AM  
2 votes:
Yet they still suck at grammar.
2014-01-12 09:19:23 AM  
2 votes:
Derkins:

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.

One of my cats would freak out easily if he saw an unfamiliar cat in the yard.  He'd slink down low and his tail would poof out dramatically.

To this day, I still laugh at the thought of how he might react if I took a dump in his litterbox and buried it for him to find later.  "OMG what in this house DID THAT? WTF!!!"
2014-01-12 08:42:18 AM  
2 votes:
Unlike dogs, which have been bred for specific purposes, cats essentially domesticated themselveshumans.
2014-01-12 02:21:46 AM  
2 votes:

FNG: Oh, and yes, the kittens get table scraps and eat what we do, in addition to their normal food.


mine are fairly particular. the oldest one goes wild for seafood, especially shrimps. the siamese female...really only eats her dry food. but the big fat scottish fold...anything creamy...yougurt, sourcream, butter. he also will try to eat anything that moves. carrot tops, onion ends, and garlic peels. idiot.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 04:50:18 PM  
1 votes:
HairBolus

Your cats could be trying to teach you to hunt, or making a comment on your personal hygiene.

"Boo Boo?"

"Yes, Mew Mew?"

"Mommy has that 'not so fresh' smell but refuses to use the personal hygiene products I bring for her. She throws them away no matter how many times I bring them back."

"That's disgusting. Let's go claw her waterbed."
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 03:01:54 PM  
1 votes:
The explanation I like for the "dead mouse on the doorstep" phenomenon is also explained by cats' limited ability to understand non-cat things. We are either cats, kittens, prey, or predator. We are too big to eat and we don't eat cats. We are rarely seen hunting for ourselves so we are not cats. We must be kittens who need help learning to hunt. The mouse is a hint that we should be going out to catch mice.

If this hypothesis is correct, female cats will leave more dead mice than male cats. If this is true, post. If you have not observed this sexual bias, shut up because I want to believe.
2014-01-12 01:19:51 PM  
1 votes:
Dog: They care for me, they feed me. They must be God.
Cat: They care for me, they feed me . I must be God.
2014-01-12 09:15:30 AM  
1 votes:
I refuse to accept that my 2 cats don't love me on some feline level.
that being said,
on that same feline level I fully expect to be faceless when the EMT's arrive after I die of a heart attack.
2014-01-12 08:54:49 AM  
1 votes:

big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.


My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.
2014-01-12 08:50:31 AM  
1 votes:
My Orange is an idiot, plain and simple..but the smartest, sweetest, most cunning and brutal idiot a cat could be..

Lost both his brothers when we moved from 'city' to BFE-here (really..  Last census I can find has the whole town a bit over 900 pop and ethnic breakdown includes 1 'african american' and 0.7 of 'asian' descent..  *0.7*..!!!  How the he11 do you get *that* figure..?!?!), over two years ago..and I was *certain* he was the one that rural life would kill inside a week..  Ghost and Silver were both gone within five months..  :/

He sees the two other humans in the house as adversaries..and they are..they actively dislike him, even though they were the two who brought the trio home as kittens..  Maybe they resent him for surviving..?  Dunno..  Mind you, they are not cruel to him and keep up with food, water and doing best can be done to make sure he's back inside on bad weather nites..  I honestly think they don't consciously realize I keep food and water for him up in my room (my bad, I meant "My Evil Operational Central Nexus of Pending Global Domination"), and I am not about to disabuse them of the notion..

The tortoises and fish are transparent to him.  No impact or attention at all.  Now, I understand it with the torts..they're just rocks that move a little faster than other rocks..but the fish..?  No clue..that was a bit of a surprise..

Now, the snake (up in my room)..?  He'll paw at her screen when she's out and active..pads only, no claws..  Really, she's far more aggressive towards him and I keep them apart fer the cat's safety..  ;P

Then come the dogs..two 90+lb Black Labs..father and son..  We got Orange when the dad was around 3 and before the son came on the scene..  He regards them as really big and stupid cats..that he's in charge of..  The elder treats him as an equal and the younger *tries* to treat him as a brother and a toy..  The 'toy' part is just 'bout when Orange sends the pup (Bandit) yipping away to contemplate his transgressions and nurse a sore nose..

Myself..?  That's a hard call..  I range from provider, defender, furniture, food source, skritchies on demand, warm mattress on a cold night, companion, servant, slave, litterbox maintenance technician, scratching post, sanctuary, etc, etc, etc..

Wow.  I've sure been talk'y the last 24..  Anyways, that's *my* cat..  :D
2014-01-12 08:28:10 AM  
1 votes:
My cat knows that I think that he thinks of me as a big cat. And he's OK with it because that was the plan from the start.
2014-01-12 08:20:56 AM  
1 votes:
No they don't. They view you as their captor and are plotting to kill you. Just read their diary.
2014-01-12 08:00:50 AM  
1 votes:

Rocket To Russia: I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?


You don't know about the lipstick on the cat's butthole to see if it will leave butthole prints thread? It's right up there with the ballsack conundrum.
2014-01-12 08:00:47 AM  
1 votes:
sundriedtomatoe.files.wordpress.com
2014-01-12 07:57:54 AM  
1 votes:

Rocket To Russia: log_jammin: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.
Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."

Yeah, I was fine with the article until I got to that part.

I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?


It was a legendary Fark thread.
2014-01-12 07:33:43 AM  
1 votes:

log_jammin: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."


yeah, i don't buy it either. my kitty loves to kill a feathery bird toy, and i often find it left in or next to my bed, which i assume is a gift/tribute

unless she's just vainly hoping for playtime while i'm asleep

i.imgur.com

/never wanted a pet, but she wouldn't leave me alone when i was at the shelter with a friend and i couldnt resist
2014-01-12 07:32:13 AM  
1 votes:
My ex-owner (passed on a few years back)  mostly thought of me as a petting machine, at least those times  she was awake and not ignoring me. A couple times a day she would think of me as the magician. Or should I say The Magician! because of the miracle of can-opening-hands.
2014-01-12 07:24:45 AM  
1 votes:
Mine considers me to be a bed and a machine to scratch his back.
Occasionally he will gift me with half of a mouse. So should I eat it to keep from offending him?
2014-01-12 07:24:12 AM  
1 votes:

Mister Peejay: FNG:
And anyone who says "cats are dumb" has never been owned by a cat. We're on our second batch of rescues, the first lived to 18 and 19.

I've known some pretty dumb cats.  Fortunately, none of them were mine.


Stupid cats have the highest entertainment value. One of my friends has one that is convinced her own tail is some sort of evil parasite and constantly tries to kill it.
 
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