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(Mother Nature Network)   Your cat thinks you're a much larger cat with good taste in food   (mnn.com) divider line 102
    More: Obvious, good taste, cat thinks, spaying and neutering, cats  
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12861 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2014 at 7:05 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-12 01:15:54 AM  
it's true.
 
2014-01-12 01:42:40 AM  
My cat does not think of me as non-hostile.

He thinks of me as his ally in his never ending battle to repel neighborhood cats, dogs, raccoons, squirrels, foxes, bobcats, great horned owls, and other assorted vermin from using his dirt baths, gravel baths, and litter boxes.
 
2014-01-12 02:00:03 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: My cat does not think of me as non-hostile.

He thinks of me as his ally in his never ending battle to repel neighborhood cats, dogs, raccoons, squirrels, foxes, bobcats, great horned owls, and other assorted vermin from using his dirt baths, gravel baths, and litter boxes.


i like you. that's why your posts are green.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 02:11:06 AM  
This is true. I have more cat related books than I'd like to admit.

Most of them my woman bought, but I read them also.

And anyone who says "cats are dumb" has never been owned by a cat. We're on our second batch of rescues, the first lived to 18 and 19.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 02:12:58 AM  
Oh, and yes, the kittens get table scraps and eat what we do, in addition to their normal food.
 
2014-01-12 02:21:46 AM  

FNG: Oh, and yes, the kittens get table scraps and eat what we do, in addition to their normal food.


mine are fairly particular. the oldest one goes wild for seafood, especially shrimps. the siamese female...really only eats her dry food. but the big fat scottish fold...anything creamy...yougurt, sourcream, butter. he also will try to eat anything that moves. carrot tops, onion ends, and garlic peels. idiot.
 
2014-01-12 02:26:37 AM  

some_beer_drinker: i like you. that's why your posts are green.


Me too, buddy.  Only yours are beer colored.
 
2014-01-12 03:04:41 AM  
And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.


I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."
 
2014-01-12 03:43:42 AM  
My remaining cat dropped a live mouse on my forehead while I was sleeping six years ago, and to this day I'm unsure about whether or not he was showing me how to hunt or telling me to fark off.  One thing is for sure, I didn't sleep in the bedroom again until that mouse was caught.  I briefly toyed with idea of not feeding the cat until he learned mice were food, but my wife nixed it.
 
2014-01-12 04:16:51 AM  
My outside orange cat I've never met just likes the food I put out for him/her. I don't know if it belongs to someone or was just dumped by some typical city person. It needs to stop farking with my quail friends.
 
2014-01-12 07:11:11 AM  
My cat thinks of me as a chair that pets it and produces miracle food.
 
2014-01-12 07:21:32 AM  
FNG:
And anyone who says "cats are dumb" has never been owned by a cat. We're on our second batch of rescues, the first lived to 18 and 19.

I've known some pretty dumb cats.  Fortunately, none of them were mine.

The dumbest cat I ever had was still smart enough to figure out how to open screen doors and sliding windows.
 
2014-01-12 07:22:13 AM  
i got that book for christmas

perhaps i should read it
 
2014-01-12 07:22:23 AM  
The provision of food is the only thing that prevents cats murdering us for our antics.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-12 07:24:12 AM  

Mister Peejay: FNG:
And anyone who says "cats are dumb" has never been owned by a cat. We're on our second batch of rescues, the first lived to 18 and 19.

I've known some pretty dumb cats.  Fortunately, none of them were mine.


Stupid cats have the highest entertainment value. One of my friends has one that is convinced her own tail is some sort of evil parasite and constantly tries to kill it.
 
2014-01-12 07:24:45 AM  
Mine considers me to be a bed and a machine to scratch his back.
Occasionally he will gift me with half of a mouse. So should I eat it to keep from offending him?
 
2014-01-12 07:26:03 AM  
If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.
 
2014-01-12 07:28:10 AM  

Catlenfell: If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.


oddstuffmagazine.com

What do you mean by "If"?
 
2014-01-12 07:32:13 AM  
My ex-owner (passed on a few years back)  mostly thought of me as a petting machine, at least those times  she was awake and not ignoring me. A couple times a day she would think of me as the magician. Or should I say The Magician! because of the miracle of can-opening-hands.
 
2014-01-12 07:33:43 AM  

log_jammin: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."


yeah, i don't buy it either. my kitty loves to kill a feathery bird toy, and i often find it left in or next to my bed, which i assume is a gift/tribute

unless she's just vainly hoping for playtime while i'm asleep

i.imgur.com

/never wanted a pet, but she wouldn't leave me alone when i was at the shelter with a friend and i couldnt resist
 
2014-01-12 07:43:19 AM  
Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.
 
2014-01-12 07:45:32 AM  
My cat sees me as a giant squeaky toy.

/Grab the human's toes under while he sleeps and he'll make funny noises.
 
2014-01-12 07:50:18 AM  
"Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

--Christopher Hitchens
 
2014-01-12 07:54:50 AM  

log_jammin: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.
Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."


Yeah, I was fine with the article until I got to that part.

I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?
 
2014-01-12 07:55:19 AM  

big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.


How do they know you're the one who does it?
 
2014-01-12 07:57:54 AM  

Rocket To Russia: log_jammin: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.
Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

I'm not sure I buy that.

"finally got that mouse! *crunch crunch* wait a minute...that really big cat who keeps trying to put lipstick on my butthole will probably give me friskies later on....meh...this mouse sucks..."

Yeah, I was fine with the article until I got to that part.

I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?


It was a legendary Fark thread.
 
2014-01-12 08:00:47 AM  
sundriedtomatoe.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-12 08:00:50 AM  

Rocket To Russia: I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?


You don't know about the lipstick on the cat's butthole to see if it will leave butthole prints thread? It's right up there with the ballsack conundrum.
 
2014-01-12 08:00:52 AM  

Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?


My cats swarm me like circling sharks when I'm changing the boxes. So guessing "vision". My dog meanwhile is just hoping to catch a stray poo to snack on. Sick farker.
 
2014-01-12 08:03:16 AM  

Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?


They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.
 
2014-01-12 08:07:58 AM  
I've only ever actually seen my cat Smokey hunt and kill mice,her and my sister's mini schnauzer Ziggy got all of them. It was beautiful cause Smokey hates the shiat out of dogs,she attacked a pitbull once,yet they were working together to get those mice.
 
2014-01-12 08:19:26 AM  
i176.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-12 08:20:56 AM  
No they don't. They view you as their captor and are plotting to kill you. Just read their diary.
 
2014-01-12 08:22:09 AM  
I don't own a cat but compared to most of the whargarbl articles related to pets that was a breath of fresh air that made biological sense. I might get this Cat Sense book for a friend.
 
2014-01-12 08:28:10 AM  
My cat knows that I think that he thinks of me as a big cat. And he's OK with it because that was the plan from the start.
 
2014-01-12 08:37:13 AM  
The conclusions reached in this study/article were beyond idiotic. For instance, they use the modern practices of spaying and neutering to dictate the long term genetic development regarding domestication. But those programs have existed on a wide scale only in the modern era. And cats, like dogs, have been bred for purpose, hence the wide variety of breeds. And the whole article reads like that, just this long winded denial of reality.
 
2014-01-12 08:38:40 AM  
Your cat knows that you are not another cat. You don't smell like a cat, look like a cat, act like a cat. But the cat only knows so many ways to behave, so many ways to show ownership or affection. It treats you like another cat because it doesn't have any other way to treat you.

CRtwenty: Catlenfell: If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.

[oddstuffmagazine.com image 600x450]

What do you mean by "If"?


Depends(especially with lions)

Christian the Lion- Reunion!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr1pWzoLvT8
 
2014-01-12 08:42:18 AM  
Unlike dogs, which have been bred for specific purposes, cats essentially domesticated themselveshumans.
 
2014-01-12 08:49:37 AM  

Jarhead_h: Your cat knows that you are not another cat. You don't smell like a cat, look like a cat, act like a cat. But the cat only knows so many ways to behave, so many ways to show ownership or affection. It treats you like another cat because it doesn't have any other way to treat you.

CRtwenty: Catlenfell: If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.

[oddstuffmagazine.com image 600x450]

What do you mean by "If"?

Depends(especially with lions)

Christian the Lion- Reunion!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr1pWzoLvT8


This is probably correct.

I've worked at a rescue and there are plenty of cats that hate other cats but like people or vice versa. Cats can differentiate species. That a cat treats human they like like cats is probably the most astute thing I have ever heard on the topic. You must be some kind of animal scientician.

Seriously, it's not cats treating us like cats, it cats just acting like cats. (or more like perma-kittens).
 
2014-01-12 08:49:41 AM  

Nogale: I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?


youmustbenewhere.jpg
 
2014-01-12 08:50:31 AM  
My Orange is an idiot, plain and simple..but the smartest, sweetest, most cunning and brutal idiot a cat could be..

Lost both his brothers when we moved from 'city' to BFE-here (really..  Last census I can find has the whole town a bit over 900 pop and ethnic breakdown includes 1 'african american' and 0.7 of 'asian' descent..  *0.7*..!!!  How the he11 do you get *that* figure..?!?!), over two years ago..and I was *certain* he was the one that rural life would kill inside a week..  Ghost and Silver were both gone within five months..  :/

He sees the two other humans in the house as adversaries..and they are..they actively dislike him, even though they were the two who brought the trio home as kittens..  Maybe they resent him for surviving..?  Dunno..  Mind you, they are not cruel to him and keep up with food, water and doing best can be done to make sure he's back inside on bad weather nites..  I honestly think they don't consciously realize I keep food and water for him up in my room (my bad, I meant "My Evil Operational Central Nexus of Pending Global Domination"), and I am not about to disabuse them of the notion..

The tortoises and fish are transparent to him.  No impact or attention at all.  Now, I understand it with the torts..they're just rocks that move a little faster than other rocks..but the fish..?  No clue..that was a bit of a surprise..

Now, the snake (up in my room)..?  He'll paw at her screen when she's out and active..pads only, no claws..  Really, she's far more aggressive towards him and I keep them apart fer the cat's safety..  ;P

Then come the dogs..two 90+lb Black Labs..father and son..  We got Orange when the dad was around 3 and before the son came on the scene..  He regards them as really big and stupid cats..that he's in charge of..  The elder treats him as an equal and the younger *tries* to treat him as a brother and a toy..  The 'toy' part is just 'bout when Orange sends the pup (Bandit) yipping away to contemplate his transgressions and nurse a sore nose..

Myself..?  That's a hard call..  I range from provider, defender, furniture, food source, skritchies on demand, warm mattress on a cold night, companion, servant, slave, litterbox maintenance technician, scratching post, sanctuary, etc, etc, etc..

Wow.  I've sure been talk'y the last 24..  Anyways, that's *my* cat..  :D
 
2014-01-12 08:51:55 AM  

VendorXeno: The conclusions reached in this study/article were beyond idiotic. For instance, they use the modern practices of spaying and neutering to dictate the long term genetic development regarding domestication. But those programs have existed on a wide scale only in the modern era. And cats, like dogs, have been bred for purpose, hence the wide variety of breeds. And the whole article reads like that, just this long winded denial of reality.


He may still be right, though. Feral cats are still around and available to many house cats for reproduction, and have been for centuries. I suspect it would have been much harder for a dog to find a wolf to mate with (or vice versa).

(Interesting project about the behaviour of house cats in an English village, that even the owners were sometimes unaware of:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-22567526)
 
2014-01-12 08:54:49 AM  

big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.


My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.
 
2014-01-12 09:10:51 AM  

Derkins: big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.


Just use it once to freak the cats out then have someone else clean the box and post the video to youtube
 
2014-01-12 09:15:11 AM  

VendorXeno: The conclusions reached in this study/article were beyond idiotic. For instance, they use the modern practices of spaying and neutering to dictate the long term genetic development regarding domestication. But those programs have existed on a wide scale only in the modern era. And cats, like dogs, have been bred for purpose, hence the wide variety of breeds. And the whole article reads like that, just this long winded denial of reality.


I agree.
Dogs do the same thing (sniffing crotch/butts, submissive/dominant behavior, will howl if you play an instrument etc.). Cats and Dogs can just as easily be behaving this way because that's how they roll, not because they are doing the equivalent of anthropomorphizing you (animalization?).
 
2014-01-12 09:15:30 AM  
I refuse to accept that my 2 cats don't love me on some feline level.
that being said,
on that same feline level I fully expect to be faceless when the EMT's arrive after I die of a heart attack.
 
2014-01-12 09:15:37 AM  
your feline friend likely thinks of you not as a parent, but as "a larger, non-hostile cat."

Needs an explanation for neotenic behaviour like meowing.
 
2014-01-12 09:19:23 AM  
Derkins:

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.

One of my cats would freak out easily if he saw an unfamiliar cat in the yard.  He'd slink down low and his tail would poof out dramatically.

To this day, I still laugh at the thought of how he might react if I took a dump in his litterbox and buried it for him to find later.  "OMG what in this house DID THAT? WTF!!!"
 
2014-01-12 09:19:34 AM  
My cats think of me as a god.
Unfortunately, they're all atheist.
 
2014-01-12 09:31:07 AM  

Mister Peejay: Derkins:

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.

One of my cats would freak out easily if he saw an unfamiliar cat in the yard.  He'd slink down low and his tail would poof out dramatically.

To this day, I still laugh at the thought of how he might react if I took a dump in his litterbox and buried it for him to find later.  "OMG what in this house DID THAT? WTF!!!"


I thought about that once too, except half the time my big orange hair monster leaves turds bigger than my own.
 
2014-01-12 09:31:25 AM  

VendorXeno: The conclusions reached in this study/article were beyond idiotic. For instance, they use the modern practices of spaying and neutering to dictate the long term genetic development regarding domestication. But those programs have existed on a wide scale only in the modern era. And cats, like dogs, have been bred for purpose, hence the wide variety of breeds. And the whole article reads like that, just this long winded denial of reality.


Cats have been bred for purpose? No, they have been domesticated to either kill rodents or be a companion. There are less than 40 breeds of cats, with over 95% of the global population either a domestic short-hair or a domestic long-hair, also known as mutts. It's one of the reasons why they suffer from few genetic disorders, as opposed to dogs.
 
2014-01-12 09:34:38 AM  
Yet they still suck at grammar.
 
2014-01-12 09:36:02 AM  

VendorXeno: The conclusions reached in this study/article were beyond idiotic. For instance, they use the modern practices of spaying and neutering to dictate the long term genetic development regarding domestication. But those programs have existed on a wide scale only in the modern era. And cats, like dogs, have been bred for purpose, hence the wide variety of breeds. And the whole article reads like that, just this long winded denial of reality.


I just got a crazy mental image of some guys in lab coats trying to breed a cat to sleep 23.5 hours/day instead of the normal 23.25 hours/day

/may have been a far side
 
2014-01-12 09:36:30 AM  
If scientists could genetically engineer a dog that doesn't smell and licks itself clean, I'd be all over it.
 
2014-01-12 09:38:51 AM  
FTFA: "And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind."


More is going on here. The cat wants the prey in a noticeable or "central" place (though not necessarily thinking of it as a gift). If it really wanted a "safe place" the mouse or whatever would be left in more of a hiding place such as under a sofa. Cats often leave the prey in prominent places such as (for an outdoor cat) the entrance to a house and for our indoor cat the bottom step of the flight up from the ground floor.

Some cats (particularly when younger) will "play fetch". Our cat used to hunt tampax from their secret lair in the box in the cabinet in the bathroom and bring them to us. Throw them and she would bring them back. I guess she thought our location defined "the nest" and that was the proper place for such prey. I wonder if there are any sex differences in "playing fetch" because female cats are more into nesting than male.
 
2014-01-12 09:42:55 AM  

cardex: Derkins: big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.

Just use it once to freak the cats out then have someone else clean the box and post the video to youtube


s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-01-12 09:42:58 AM  
www.catster.com
 
2014-01-12 09:43:08 AM  
www.charlottepantry.com
My idiot cat's version of cat crack.
 
2014-01-12 09:44:19 AM  

bifford: If scientists could genetically engineer a dog that doesn't smell and licks itself clean, I'd be all over it.


Some dog breeds stink more than others, just sayin. And not all cats are very assiduous at cleaning themselves.

You know, Smelly Cat.
 
2014-01-12 09:45:38 AM  
Still don't buy their explanation of Presenting. My opinion is that they are saying, "look here I too can provide food."

Example: used to live in an apartment where the upstairs outdoor cat would present an average of two to three on our stairs and more than five on his owner's stairs... A day.
 
2014-01-12 09:45:50 AM  

HairBolus: FTFA: "And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind."

More is going on here. The cat wants the prey in a noticeable or "central" place (though not necessarily thinking of it as a gift). If it really wanted a "safe place" the mouse or whatever would be left in more of a hiding place such as under a sofa. Cats often leave the prey in prominent places such as (for an outdoor cat) the entrance to a house and for our indoor cat the bottom step of the flight up from the ground floor.


One of my guys would bring me the Fritos bag because he couldn't open it himself.

He loved Fritos.  (I hate 'em)  He also had a thing for black olives.
 
2014-01-12 09:47:30 AM  

Mad Scientist: "Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods."

--Christopher Hitchens


There are no atheists in litter boxes.
 
2014-01-12 09:55:03 AM  

NathanAllen: Still don't buy their explanation of Presenting. My opinion is that they are saying, "look here I too can provide food."

Example: used to live in an apartment where the upstairs outdoor cat would present an average of two to three on our stairs and more than five on his owner's stairs... A day.


Agreed. I had Mort, whom the local rabbits and mice must have seen as a death god. You didn't go out on the porch barefoot without looking first because he was always leaving half-bunnies right in front of the door.

Obviously he didn't prefer Friskies, otherwise he'd have left whole carcasses once his toy stopped wriggling.
 
2014-01-12 10:12:05 AM  
I've been "studying" cats longer than this guy and this is not science, it's bookselling bullshiat.  Just because cats do cat-like things with the humans doesn't mean they think humans are cats.

What else are cats going to do if not the things they're capable of as cats?  Does the author expect them to read to us the daily paper in the King's english?

The underlying premise is that cats can't tell the difference between creatures that are CLEARLY different genetically and anatomically.  And obviously this is not the case, as evidenced by their behavior toward other animals.

Stupid article, try again.
 
2014-01-12 10:18:43 AM  
We've dubbed my husband the unofficial cat whisperer b/c all cats flock to him--our cats, neighbors' cats, feral cats, etc. I don't know what it is, but they love him.

I'm convinced our cats just view me as the cat whisperer's accessory, so I'm allowed to stay. They do talk back to me and try to trip me often.

Maybe they don't want me to stay.
 
2014-01-12 10:27:21 AM  

CRtwenty: Stupid cats have the highest entertainment value. One of my friends has one that is convinced her own tail is some sort of evil parasite and constantly tries to kill it.


My normally clever cat once got locked in a pretty serious deathmatch brawl between her front paws and her own rear paws. Slanging, hissing, even a screech or two. Most serious fight she's ever been in. I had to break it up with the squirt bottle.
 
2014-01-12 10:27:55 AM  
Sr cat discounts us staffies' "good taste in food".  He needs eat Rx chow due to his diabetes, would way prefer chow other cats get. Other cats also get Rx chow for safety's sake cept for last chow of day.  Do Prefer other chow which tastes less like cardboard.
 
2014-01-12 10:32:19 AM  

Mister Peejay: Derkins:

My cats are too dumb to realize I'm cleaning the box. They probably think I'm using it. Ew.

One of my cats would freak out easily if he saw an unfamiliar cat in the yard.  He'd slink down low and his tail would poof out dramatically.

To this day, I still laugh at the thought of how he might react if I took a dump in his litterbox and buried it for him to find later.  "OMG what in this house DID THAT? WTF!!!"


Funny idea, but not a good one. Many cats are particular about where they poop and won't even share a box with another cat. So if you poop in the cat's box, the cat will most likely interpret that as a violation of his territory, and hostilities will ensue, most likely in the form of the cat marking YOUR territory every chance he gets.

Mutual assured eviction.
 
2014-01-12 10:32:31 AM  

Spanky McStupid: [www.charlottepantry.com image 600x600]
My idiot cat's version of cat crack.


i1211.photobucket.com

Sadly they went off the shelves at our local stores all at once, but yay Amazon! The one male cat will chase them along the floor. :)

My three pretty much hate each other (though I think two of them like to play-mate), and they view me as the boss. Sometimes they will do passive-aggressive things to the boss, but they come and bug me about all sorts of things. My oldest became a lap cat, yay!
 
2014-01-12 10:49:35 AM  

Jarhead_h: It treats you like another cat because it doesn't have any other way to treat you.


That's not entirely true. Cats don't typically meow to other cats, but since humans don't respond to body language and scent clues, they learn to vocalize to get your attention. They treat you in some ways as though you were another cat, but they do adapt their behavior in others because they know you're not one.
 
2014-01-12 10:51:39 AM  
That's a lie. I can't be a Big Pussycat. I never wore a wire. Ratted to the FBI. And I definitely didn't get whacked on a boat.

/Bass Bing!
 
2014-01-12 10:53:03 AM  

JoshTheTech: That's a lie. I can't be a Big Pussycat. I never wore a wire. Ratted to the FBI. And I definitely didn't get whacked on a boat.

/Bass Bing!


BADA BING! -damn auto correct
 
2014-01-12 10:58:56 AM  
Everyone in this thread has Toxoplasmosis, I'm sure of it.
 
2014-01-12 11:10:22 AM  
You may think your cat loves you. You may think it shows compassion. You may think there's even some connection, like a mutual understanding. All of this is false. All your cat wants to do is murder you. You might catch them stalking you, but they seldom strike because you're massive; that's why they sit on the steps in the dark, because cats understand that you are susceptible to gravity, and they know how to make things look accidental. Mark my words.
 
2014-01-12 11:16:38 AM  
"Toxoplasmosis is considered to be a leading cause of death attributed to foodborne illness in the United States. More than 60 million men, women, and children in the U.S. carry theToxoplasma parasite, but very few have symptoms because the immune system usually keeps the parasite from causing illness."

http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/toxoplasmosis/

Since that's about 20% of the current US population, and that yer in a thread about cats/cat owners..yer prolly pretty much on the mark..

I manage mine by giving it it's own food/water bowls and a sleeping pad in the corner..  I call it "Bob"..
 
2014-01-12 11:20:11 AM  
..that last was in response to  RottNDude..  My bad on quote-failure..
 
2014-01-12 11:43:22 AM  

untaken_name: Jarhead_h: It treats you like another cat because it doesn't have any other way to treat you.

That's not entirely true. Cats don't typically meow to other cats, but since humans don't respond to body language and scent clues, they learn to vocalize to get your attention. They treat you in some ways as though you were another cat, but they do adapt their behavior in others because they know you're not one.


This--whilst cats are comparatively closer to their origin wild ancestors and largely self-domesticated, there ARE some known ethological differences in domestic cat behaviour versus that of the ancestral wild cats (particularly the African wildcat species residing in the Levant which is the immediate ancestor of domestic cats).

One of the differences is with vocalisation (domestic cats are definitively more "meowy" and studies have shown that they do have distinct meows for interacting with humans); another is that domestic cats (including ferals) are decidedly more eusocial (unlike their wild ancestors, there is a higher tolerance of "cats per square acre", and communal queening is known in feral cat colonies and domestic catteries--the phenomenon of multiple female cats caring for litters or having "communal litters" is pretty much unknown in modern cats aside from lions).

It's probably best ethologically to think of cats essentially treating humans as "honorary cats"...big, derpy cats who are utterly noseblind, but Honorary Members Of The Clowder nonetheless.

(And for folks who don't know that "ethology" word--ethology is to critters as sociology is to us humans.  It's pretty much how "pet psychologists" work--they're really pet ethologists, think of 'em as "dog and cat sociologists" and you get the idea.)

/pretty much figured out a long time ago that cats do see us as honorary cats, especially if the humans in question do know a bit of kitteh body language
 
2014-01-12 01:05:49 PM  

NathanAllen: Still don't buy their explanation of Presenting. My opinion is that they are saying, "look here I too can provide food."

Example: used to live in an apartment where the upstairs outdoor cat would present an average of two to three on our stairs and more than five on his owner's stairs... A day.


They... don't actually use the word "presenting", do they? Because I don't think that word means what they think it does. /cough

"Gifting", maybe?
 
2014-01-12 01:08:41 PM  

some_beer_drinker: Nogale: I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?

youmustbenewhere.jpg


That wasn't my comment. I got the reference ;-)
 
2014-01-12 01:14:48 PM  
I had a cat that would only eat wild caught food. She wouldn't eat anything I gave her really.
 
2014-01-12 01:19:51 PM  
Dog: They care for me, they feed me. They must be God.
Cat: They care for me, they feed me . I must be God.
 
2014-01-12 02:15:58 PM  
La Maudite:
Funny idea, but not a good one. Many cats are particular about where they poop and won't even share a box with another cat. So if you poop in the cat's box, the cat will most likely interpret that as a violation of his territory, and hostilities will ensue, most likely in the form of the cat marking YOUR territory every chance he gets.

Mutual assured eviction.


Three cats, two boxes, and they weren't territorial about them.

The only litterbox issue we had was with the "dumb" (more like retarded) one.  He took like FOUR YEARS to realize that it was the litterbox he was supposed to go in.  First he just went anywhere quiet.  Then, when we had a covered litterbox, he'd go under the lid whether there was a box under it or not.  Then, he'd go where the litterbox place was, whether there was a box there or if we'd moved it three feet away.

After he figured it out, he would cover up for about a half hour.  First he'd cover his business with litter.  Then he'd yank up on the edges of the box with his claws.  Then he'd scratch at the toilet, then the wall, working further and further out in a spiral pattern until I'd get fed up and throw a rolled-up sock at him because the noise was bothering me and it's 3 freakin' AM.

House was weird.  My bedroom was the attic, which also housed the water heater, furnace, and a sink and toilet off in the corner.  And the two litterboxes.  Be nice if we had a basement, but at least it was strong incentive to keep the litterboxes clean.

/and then I'd be sitting on the toilet and one of them would sit at the top of the stairs on the opposite end of the house and look at me.  GO AWAY I AM TRYING TO POOP I DON'T WATCH YOU DO YOUR BUSINESS
 
2014-01-12 02:27:45 PM  
Great Porn Dragon:
That's not entirely true. Cats don't typically meow to other cats, but since humans don't respond to body language and scent clues, they learn to vocalize to get your attention. They treat you in some ways as though you were another cat, but they do adapt their behavior in others because they know you're not one.

/pretty much figured out a long time ago that cats do see us as honorary cats, especially if the humans in question do know a bit of kitty body language


This is probably why the cat who currently lives with us never talks to me unless I'm trying to ignore him.  I can read feline body language fairly well.  It's not that hard, really.  It's all in how they carry themselves, their head height/angle, their ears and whiskers, and their tail disposition.  I'm also the only one who he'll play rough with - he would not dare bite or jump at anybody else.  Then he goes back to his happy/friendly body language for a bit and goes away - "I ain't mad, you're good folk, but I'm going to go over here now."

My Mom had a pair of near-identical twin cats, and she was shocked that I could tell them apart upon first meeting them.  Well, yeah, it's simple.  One was brash and bold and outgoing, always held his tail and head high.  The other one was nervous and easily spooked and always slunk around with his head/tail low and would skitter away quickly if he felt even more threatened than normal.  Frankly, I was shocked that she couldn't see the difference until after I pointed it out.
 
2014-01-12 02:40:47 PM  

maxheck: NathanAllen: Still don't buy their explanation of Presenting. My opinion is that they are saying, "look here I too can provide food."

Example: used to live in an apartment where the upstairs outdoor cat would present an average of two to three on our stairs and more than five on his owner's stairs... A day.

Agreed. I had Mort, whom the local rabbits and mice must have seen as a death god. You didn't go out on the porch barefoot without looking first because he was always leaving half-bunnies right in front of the door.

Obviously he didn't prefer Friskies, otherwise he'd have left whole carcasses once his toy stopped wriggling.


I think the whole gifting thing is more social in nature. We are big, don't spend any time hunting and can be called on for protection, so we somewhat fit into the role of the male lion. Male lions are brought food by the rest of the pride. The gifting acknowledges us as part of the family/clan/pack/clowder/pride.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 03:01:54 PM  
The explanation I like for the "dead mouse on the doorstep" phenomenon is also explained by cats' limited ability to understand non-cat things. We are either cats, kittens, prey, or predator. We are too big to eat and we don't eat cats. We are rarely seen hunting for ourselves so we are not cats. We must be kittens who need help learning to hunt. The mouse is a hint that we should be going out to catch mice.

If this hypothesis is correct, female cats will leave more dead mice than male cats. If this is true, post. If you have not observed this sexual bias, shut up because I want to believe.
 
2014-01-12 03:41:09 PM  

A Terrible Human: Rocket To Russia: I was also fine with your comment until I got to the part about lipstick and buttholes. What the hell?

You don't know about the lipstick on the cat's butthole to see if it will leave butthole prints thread? It's right up there with the ballsack conundrum.


Think that was one of the first threads I read here on Fark
 
2014-01-12 04:16:26 PM  

ZAZ: The explanation I like for the "dead mouse on the doorstep" phenomenon is also explained by cats' limited ability to understand non-cat things. We are either cats, kittens, prey, or predator. We are too big to eat and we don't eat cats. We are rarely seen hunting for ourselves so we are not cats. We must be kittens who need help learning to hunt. The mouse is a hint that we should be going out to catch mice.

If this hypothesis is correct, female cats will leave more dead mice than male cats. If this is true, post. If you have not observed this sexual bias, shut up because I want to believe.


So you would support my guess that there is a female bias toward "playing fetch" though you would regard it as a teaching effort rather than just an instinct to keep things in a central territory?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-01-12 04:50:18 PM  
HairBolus

Your cats could be trying to teach you to hunt, or making a comment on your personal hygiene.

"Boo Boo?"

"Yes, Mew Mew?"

"Mommy has that 'not so fresh' smell but refuses to use the personal hygiene products I bring for her. She throws them away no matter how many times I bring them back."

"That's disgusting. Let's go claw her waterbed."
 
2014-01-12 04:55:14 PM  
And here all this time I figured my cat thought of me as her personal slave.
 
2014-01-12 05:02:17 PM  
Doubtful.   Cats are capable of happiness, boredom, deceit, grief, and anger.

They react dramatically differently towards deer, small birds, hawks, and people which indicates they have the intelligence to differentiate themselves from other species as readily as they know fish are to eat as are birds, but not us because whatever we are, we're too big., so best play nice with the odd creature and it'll make life easy.
 
2014-01-12 05:18:15 PM  

big pig peaches: Nogale: big pig peaches: Depends on the cat and the person. My cats see everyone else in the house as other cats. They see me as a magical being. Here's why :

Everyone in the house shares cat care duties except litter box cleaning. For some reason I'm the only person who does it on a regular basis. Cats fully understand providing food, grooming and affection. They do that naturally. However, I make the poopies disappear. Cats instinctively bury their waste, but they know it's still there. Making poop vanish to them is a godlike power. It's something beyond there abilities. That makes me their favorite.

How do they know you're the one who does it?

They have eyes and ears. They always come to investigate when they hear scratching around in the litter.


Our cats come to investigate when the litter box is being scooped.  Which usually leads to the following conversation between the cat and my wife.

Wife:  If you've got to go, go ahead and go now, before I scoop.
Cat:  No, I'm fine.  Not sure if I really need to go.  But I'll just hang out and watch you.
Wife:  Please use the box before I scoop.
Cat:  Naw, I'm good.

Five minutes after the box is scooped, the cat unleashes shock and awe on the nice, pristine litterbox.

re: vocalization.  On occasion my wife will do something that pisses my cat off and she (the cat) will let loose a stream of invective that if we understood cat, would most likely make us either really mad, or blush.
 
2014-01-12 05:21:24 PM  

BizarreMan: Our cats come to investigate when the litter box is being scooped.  Which usually leads to the following conversation between the cat and my wife.

Wife:  If you've got to go, go ahead and go now, before I scoop.
Cat:  No, I'm fine.  Not sure if I really need to go.  But I'll just hang out and watch you.
Wife:  Please use the box before I scoop.
Cat:  Naw, I'm good.

Five minutes after the box is scooped, the cat unleashes shock and awe on the nice, pristine litterbox.


Same at my house.  We have a variety of litterboxes, and a variety of cats - I think whatever cat happens to be there as it's cleaned is thinking "aha, I'm gonna claim this one first this time!"  They're in there pooping before I even get the door to the enclosure shut.
 
2014-01-12 05:56:24 PM  

Mister Peejay: Great Porn Dragon:
That's not entirely true. Cats don't typically meow to other cats, but since humans don't respond to body language and scent clues, they learn to vocalize to get your attention. They treat you in some ways as though you were another cat, but they do adapt their behavior in others because they know you're not one.

/pretty much figured out a long time ago that cats do see us as honorary cats, especially if the humans in question do know a bit of kitty body language

This is probably why the cat who currently lives with us never talks to me unless I'm trying to ignore him.  I can read feline body language fairly well.  It's not that hard, really.  It's all in how they carry themselves, their head height/angle, their ears and whiskers, and their tail disposition.  I'm also the only one who he'll play rough with - he would not dare bite or jump at anybody else.  Then he goes back to his happy/friendly body language for a bit and goes away - "I ain't mad, you're good folk, but I'm going to go over here now."

My Mom had a pair of near-identical twin cats, and she was shocked that I could tell them apart upon first meeting them.  Well, yeah, it's simple.  One was brash and bold and outgoing, always held his tail and head high.  The other one was nervous and easily spooked and always slunk around with his head/tail low and would skitter away quickly if he felt even more threatened than normal.  Frankly, I was shocked that she couldn't see the difference until after I pointed it out.


Hell, my dad couldn't tell the difference between my two red tabbies for the longest time, even though one is skinny and all tabby, and one is fat and has white paws and belly, nevermind their completely different personalities.
 
2014-01-12 06:23:29 PM  
BizarreMan:

Five minutes after the box is scooped, the cat unleashes shock and awe on the nice, pristine litterbox.

re: vocalization.  On occasion my wife will do something that pisses my cat off and she (the cat) will let loose a stream of invective that if we understood cat, would most likely make us either really mad, or blush.


One of our cats from back in the day had a bit of a weight problem.  He also pooped funny.  Have you ever had a pimple that you popped and it made a big ball of pimple stuff instantly?  Now picture that a furry basketball just grunted that out, and it's brown not white.  I had the misfortune of observing this while he decided that my poop time was also his poop time.  He didn't poop so much as pop.  My stepdad said "I've never seen a cat that s-its patties before".  Patties like a quarter pound ball of hamburger.

Anyway, that aside, he talked to NOBODY except for my girlfriend.  He'd look up at her and say "meh mah mah mah" when she petted him.  Strangest noise I ever heard come from a cat.
 
2014-01-12 07:12:14 PM  

CRtwenty: Catlenfell: If cats were the same size as people, they would consider us prey.



What do you mean by "If"?


Tigers don't consider us prey.
 
2014-01-12 08:30:02 PM  
Interesting take but then why do cats totally ignore you when they want to. I rarely see a cat totally ignore another.

/Heading into shelter this week to get a 3rd feline
 
2014-01-12 09:05:10 PM  

Mister Peejay: BizarreMan:

Five minutes after the box is scooped, the cat unleashes shock and awe on the nice, pristine litterbox.

re: vocalization.  On occasion my wife will do something that pisses my cat off and she (the cat) will let loose a stream of invective that if we understood cat, would most likely make us either really mad, or blush.

One of our cats from back in the day had a bit of a weight problem.  He also pooped funny.  Have you ever had a pimple that you popped and it made a big ball of pimple stuff instantly?  Now picture that a furry basketball just grunted that out, and it's brown not white.  I had the misfortune of observing this while he decided that my poop time was also his poop time.  He didn't poop so much as pop.  My stepdad said "I've never seen a cat that s-its patties before".  Patties like a quarter pound ball of hamburger.

Anyway, that aside, he talked to NOBODY except for my girlfriend.  He'd look up at her and say "meh mah mah mah" when she petted him.  Strangest noise I ever heard come from a cat.


Without hearing it, I can't say for sure, but my cat does something similar when trying to attract birds. I call it singing. It almost sounds like chuckling.
 
2014-01-12 09:06:32 PM  

litespeed74: Interesting take but then why do cats totally ignore you when they want to. I rarely see a cat totally ignore another.

/Heading into shelter this week to get a 3rd feline


It's actually a sign of trust and affection. (Or a sign of complete disdain, if you're not a cat person) A cat won't ignore a potential threat.
 
2014-01-13 12:45:59 AM  
And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.


So why then does the dead mouse or bird not disappear because i purposely do not feed him when it brings me a kill?
 
2014-01-13 03:52:58 AM  

Maul555: And when your feline friend brings you the occasional dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it's not a gift or an attempt to feed you.

Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind.

So why then does the dead mouse or bird not disappear because i purposely do not feed him when it brings me a kill?


Because the cat thinks you're stupid.  It's a demonstration of his/her hunting skills, and the kill is showing you how it's done.  But you don't do it, do you?

Your cat is trying to tell you that you aren't a good hunter.  You can't ever win that fight, nor would you want to.  You want your cat to think you are a bad hunter.
 
2014-01-13 03:29:32 PM  
There's no way to tell who a cat is going to like better. My husband got our cat just a few months before we met, but that seemed to be enough to instill the fact that he is the mother. For 11 years, I've been the one primarily responsible for feeding him, cleaning his box, grooming him and providing medical care. Yet he (mostly) snuggles up only to my husband, defends him when we fight, and pines for him when he goes out the door. I'm pretty convinced he sees my husband as "mom" and me as the other animal that lives with him.

Our other cat was my husbands cat since he was a teenager, but when I came along he equally bonded to me. No idea why they had different attitudes towards us, but maybe because the one who liked me was greedy and knew I'd give him pastrami.
 
2014-01-13 04:38:38 PM  

Mister Peejay: BizarreMan:

Five minutes after the box is scooped, the cat unleashes shock and awe on the nice, pristine litterbox.

re: vocalization.  On occasion my wife will do something that pisses my cat off and she (the cat) will let loose a stream of invective that if we understood cat, would most likely make us either really mad, or blush.

One of our cats from back in the day had a bit of a weight problem.  He also pooped funny.  Have you ever had a pimple that you popped and it made a big ball of pimple stuff instantly?  Now picture that a furry basketball just grunted that out, and it's brown not white.  I had the misfortune of observing this while he decided that my poop time was also his poop time.  He didn't poop so much as pop.  My stepdad said "I've never seen a cat that s-its patties before".  Patties like a quarter pound ball of hamburger.

Anyway, that aside, he talked to NOBODY except for my girlfriend.  He'd look up at her and say "meh mah mah mah" when she petted him.  Strangest noise I ever heard come from a cat.


My cat also "marks" the litterbox as soon as I clean it.  I believe the sound you are referring to is called "chattering", look it up on Youtube.  Mine does the same thing when he can't reach prey (fly, moth, birds, etc.).
 
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