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(Toronto Sun)   Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger   (torontosun.com) divider line 131
    More: Sad, Shia Labeouf, J.D. Salinger, Blast!  
•       •       •

7141 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Jan 2014 at 2:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-01-10 02:39:35 PM  
23 votes:
"You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference".

 - Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 03:52:38 PM  
11 votes:
"All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?

O-o"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:07:03 PM  
11 votes:
"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth."
-Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 03:30:03 PM  
9 votes:
 "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon..."

 -Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:25:49 PM  
8 votes:
Artistic integrity.  Un-f*cking-believable.  Some people are so completely delusional and narcissistic it hurts my head.  At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.
2014-01-10 02:45:05 PM  
8 votes:
Who's going to take up the mantle in the Indiana Jones franchise??

I'm sorry, I stabbed myself in the cock for even saying that.
2014-01-10 08:23:14 PM  
6 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-01-10 03:45:08 PM  
6 votes:
"Fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, and fark you, I'm out! "

-Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 05:11:40 PM  
5 votes:
"college co-eds..

img.fark.net


If you are opposed to this, well, you can't be my friend."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:16:54 PM  
5 votes:
"Time for some traffic problems in Ft. Lee."

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 03:50:10 PM  
5 votes:
img.fark.net

"Leave Shia alone!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:40:29 PM  
5 votes:
"Crush your enemies. See the men driven before you.  Hear the lamentations of their women"


Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:37:41 PM  
5 votes:
 "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:31:07 PM  
5 votes:
"Flyyou fools!"

 -Shia LeBeouf  (to skywriters)
2014-01-10 04:56:06 PM  
4 votes:

BafflerMeal: [www.farbish.com image 737x552]


fix'd

i.imgur.com
2014-01-10 03:55:14 PM  
4 votes:
 "if you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan"

-Shia Labeouf
2014-01-10 03:49:27 PM  
4 votes:
"What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:37:42 PM  
4 votes:
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

 -Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:31:05 PM  
4 votes:
"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain "
-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:51:00 PM  
3 votes:
"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom!"

Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:43:50 PM  
3 votes:
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."
-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:43:11 PM  
3 votes:
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells...and...I like to kiss my own butt."--Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:40:25 PM  
3 votes:
"Either the wallpaper goes, or I do."

- Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:32:47 PM  
3 votes:
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:32:07 PM  
3 votes:
"I said, to the people of the Philippines whence I came, I shall return. Tonight, I repeat those words: I shall return!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:24:22 PM  
3 votes:
"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. "

*Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:13:13 PM  
3 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
2014-01-10 01:27:56 PM  
3 votes:
ROFL.

So, he's plagiarizing Rand Paul, who threatened to quit because he plagiarized.
2014-01-10 01:21:22 PM  
3 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2014-01-11 12:18:43 PM  
2 votes:
i1182.photobucket.com
2014-01-11 05:07:21 AM  
2 votes:
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses. "

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 01:30:01 AM  
2 votes:
"There is no Shia!  Only Zuul!"

~ Zuul Laboeuf
2014-01-11 12:38:29 AM  
2 votes:
"Would you fark me? I'd fark me. I'd fark me hard. I'd fark me so hard."

- Shia "Buffalo Bill" Lebeof
2014-01-10 09:48:44 PM  
2 votes:
That was the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling disjointed apology did I hear anything even remotely approaching a rationale thought. Everone in this thread is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.
Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 08:54:59 PM  
2 votes:
i1078.photobucket.com
2014-01-10 05:41:03 PM  
2 votes:
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time... to die."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 05:23:48 PM  
2 votes:

Don't let reality's door hit you in the ass on the way out, cockspittle!

What a colossal douche. "You caught me repeatedly stealing IP from people - I'm gonna run away now." Perhaps, Shia, you should develop not just a personality, but some original material, during your self-imposed hiatus in your Fortress of Solipsism.
2014-01-10 05:07:56 PM  
2 votes:
oops, wrong thread.


not that anyone will complain
2014-01-10 04:47:40 PM  
2 votes:
I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose free will."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:44:35 PM  
2 votes:
"My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy.  When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...Family too... if you're desperate.  Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:37:43 PM  
2 votes:
Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me. P.S: Tell Heywood I'm sorry I put a knife to his throat. No hard feelings

Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:20:57 PM  
2 votes:
"Go for the eyes, Boo!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:18:06 PM  
2 votes:
"Your kind cannot bear that the world be ordinary.  That it contain nothing save what stands before one.  But the Mexican world is a world of adornment only and underneath it is very plain indeed.  While your world ... your world totters upon an unspoken labyrinth of questions.  And we will devour you, my friend.  You and all your pale empire."

The Beef
2014-01-10 04:15:55 PM  
2 votes:
www.farbish.com
2014-01-10 04:03:57 PM  
2 votes:
"Shia LeBEOUFS. Shia'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:00:44 PM  
2 votes:
"Do you want fries with that?"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:58:56 PM  
2 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)

He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.


Yeah that seems most likely.  It is unfortunate for him that lofty ideas like that are maybe more than a little bit beyond his actual grasp.

Or maybe it's all part of even larger and more carefully orchestrated scheme, and you and I will merely be another set of dominos to fall when Shia Labeouf executes his final master stroke.
2014-01-10 03:55:19 PM  
2 votes:
"Get the butter."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:49:37 PM  
2 votes:
All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?

O-o
2014-01-10 03:44:54 PM  
2 votes:
"I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking serious anal."

- Shia LeBeouf

/no, really
//he actually said that to me
2014-01-10 03:42:42 PM  
2 votes:
"Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:41:46 PM  
2 votes:
"Ich Bin Ein Berliner" -- Shia LeBeef
2014-01-10 03:40:57 PM  
2 votes:
"Where's the beef?"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:40:19 PM  
2 votes:
"That's FRANK-en-steen."  --Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:36:48 PM  
2 votes:
"It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. I've outrun Imperial starships. Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now. She's fast enough for you old man. What's the cargo?"

 -Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:36:33 PM  
2 votes:
"If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

- Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:36:24 PM  
2 votes:
"Au revoir, gopher."
 -Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:20:52 PM  
2 votes:
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."
 -Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:20:24 PM  
2 votes:
World needs plenty of ditch diggers

content9.flixster.com
2014-01-10 03:17:24 PM  
2 votes:
"I really see no problem with it. At least half of the people involved are enjoying it. Why spoil their fun?"

- Shia LaBeouf on rape
2014-01-12 03:18:42 AM  
1 votes:
"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 04:04:14 PM  
1 votes:
"Oh, this is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth?! I'm coming to join you, honey!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:03:19 PM  
1 votes:
"And this one time at band camp...."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 11:52:06 AM  
1 votes:
"Yes, women may have equal rights."

-Sharia law goof
2014-01-11 05:48:59 AM  
1 votes:
"The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 02:10:53 AM  
1 votes:
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

-Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-11 01:43:29 AM  
1 votes:
Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs?

Yours etc. Captain S.L. Beef in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
2014-01-11 12:18:16 AM  
1 votes:
"Father! Father, the sleeper has awakened!"

--Shia "Muad'Dib" LaBoeuf
2014-01-10 11:08:02 PM  
1 votes:
"Get to the chopah!"

-Shia BeefCurtains
2014-01-10 10:43:17 PM  
1 votes:
"In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit"

-Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 10:06:35 PM  
1 votes:
"Hey Peter!  I can see your house from here!"

Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-10 09:28:18 PM  
1 votes:
I don't remember his speech verbatim but I thought the part where he called us all Romans and asked to borrow our ears was weird.
2014-01-10 09:21:51 PM  
1 votes:
"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."

- Shia Laboeuf
2014-01-10 08:55:01 PM  
1 votes:
I'm here for the gangbang?
--Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 08:53:47 PM  
1 votes:
"So long and thanks for all the fish."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 08:31:59 PM  
1 votes:
"There's never going to be something quite so satisfying as relieving yourself in the kitchen sink.  You should try it."

--MrHappyRotter
2014-01-10 08:27:57 PM  
1 votes:
l.wigflip.com
2014-01-10 08:27:50 PM  
1 votes:
1/10/14 - never forget.
2014-01-10 08:25:31 PM  
1 votes:
"Garbage Day!!!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 08:18:21 PM  
1 votes:
"I AM the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

--Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 08:08:32 PM  
1 votes:

WhyKnot: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Are you by chance leaving on a jet plane? Any idea when you will be back again?


My dear and loyal FARKers,

I must apologize to you all. Today, I have learned an immensely valuable lesson. Never, ever let Shia LaBeouf "artistically repurpose" your password.

My original submission, by those champions of truth, the writers of Family Guy, was meant to be the entirety of EdgeRunner wisdom for this thread. However, my unemployed and attention-starved roommate Shia, since learning of my password last night, has seen fit to take me down a few pegs. I fear that he may have succeeded, as quite a few of you will no doubt call this post a lie. Nevertheless, I can assure you all that the EdgeRunner you all know and love is back and in relative control of things (Shia's out of the room, transcribing the entirety of Barlett's "Familiar Quotations" onto his military application. He plans to join the Marine Core and help them finish up in Afghanistan.).

Once again, my sincerest apologies go out to all who have come to expect more from me. I'd apologize further, but I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes and I have a lot of mustard to clean off my shirt first.
2014-01-10 07:56:53 PM  
1 votes:
"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 07:54:19 PM  
1 votes:
Holy crap.

Shia LeBeouf must be the most quotable motherfarker in human history. It's so sad that he's retiring.
2014-01-10 07:49:41 PM  
1 votes:
Be patient till the last.
Autobots, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my
cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me
for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and
awake your senses, that you may the better judge.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Optimus', to him I say, that Bumblebee's love to Optimus
was no less than his. If then that friend demand
why Bumblebee rose against Optimus, this is my answer:
--Not that I loved Optimus less, but that I loved
Cybertron more. Had you rather Optimus were living and
die all slaves, than that Optimus were dead, to live
all free men? As Optimus loved me, I weep for him;
as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was
valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I
slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his
fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his
ambition. Who is here so base that would be a
bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be an Autobot? If
any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so
vile that will not love his country? If any, speak;
for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

-Shia "The Beef" LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 07:45:28 PM  
1 votes:

The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Please. Don't go.

Oh no, I said I was leaving and I meant it! I had a beautiful life here in this thread, and you all killed it! This is murder! Murder! You're all guilty, and you did it all for nothing! Killing my posts won't bring back your goddamn honey!

Edgerunner! Don't, I'll say anything! Please, Edgerunner, I'll say anything you want, tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it...please don't go!


Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this thread! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, FARK THREAD! You are all just little chickens! Cheep cheep cheep cheep!

Oh hi, Pope of Manwich Village.
2014-01-10 07:40:44 PM  
1 votes:
Game over man! Game over! -Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 07:27:58 PM  
1 votes:
"Sloth love Chunk!"

-Shia LaBoeuf
2014-01-10 07:22:53 PM  
1 votes:
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."

- Shia LeBouef
2014-01-10 07:18:14 PM  
1 votes:
"Where's the beef?"

- Shia The Beef
2014-01-10 07:12:42 PM  
1 votes:
You haven't seen the last of Barbados LeBoeuf! Now goodbye, forever!
- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 07:08:26 PM  
1 votes:

EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.


You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.
2014-01-10 06:49:42 PM  
1 votes:
"...would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

-Shia LeBeouf


Also I was thinking of a new meme. Take your favorite meme and replace the main character in it with Shia.
2014-01-10 06:39:23 PM  
1 votes:
Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.

In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.
2014-01-10 06:25:10 PM  
1 votes:
"Klaatu Barada Nickto"

--Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 06:09:37 PM  
1 votes:
"After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners, in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law."

Shia LeBeouf, when asked about his retirement.
2014-01-10 05:57:58 PM  
1 votes:
"A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 05:51:58 PM  
1 votes:

MISSION FARKING ACCOMPLISHED

2014-01-10 05:36:17 PM  
1 votes:
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 05:29:48 PM  
1 votes:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of the beef, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of beef, we had everything before us, we had beef before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of beef only.

Shia Oliver Beef
2014-01-10 05:24:24 PM  
1 votes:
"I was probably in a drunken stupor"

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 05:22:49 PM  
1 votes:
"Plop, plop! Fizz, fizz! Oh, what a relief it is!"

- Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-10 05:21:58 PM  
1 votes:
"You'll Get Over It" - Shiat LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 05:21:33 PM  
1 votes:
"KHAAAAAAAN!"

~ Shia LaBoeuf
2014-01-10 05:12:21 PM  
1 votes:
"I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille."

-Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 04:59:27 PM  
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
R.I.P. Beef Stroganoff
/too soon?
2014-01-10 04:57:02 PM  
1 votes:

SquiggsIN: I'm resisting the thread tendencies to attach this guy's name to a random, famous quote.



"One of us, one of us, one of us!"

-Sharia LeBond
2014-01-10 04:49:35 PM  
1 votes:
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Shia lepoof
2014-01-10 04:39:19 PM  
1 votes:
In this fall...this is very tough...in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.

-Shia Lebron
2014-01-10 04:17:24 PM  
1 votes:
"You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:14:40 PM  
1 votes:
"You remember when we used to go down to Bloy's to try to pick up girls?  That's where he met her at.  Camp meetin.  That'll make you ponder the ways of God.  He asked her out and she told him she wouldn't go out with a man that drank.  He looked her straight in the eye and told her he didn't drink.  She like to fell over backwards.  I guess it come as something of a shock to her to meet a even bigger liar than what she was.  But he told the naked truth.  Of course she called his hand on it.  Said she knew for a fact he drank.  Said everybody in Jeff Davis County knew he drank and drank plenty and was wild as a buck.  He never batted an eye.  Said he used to but he quit.  She asked him when did he quit and he said I just now did.  And she went out with him.  And as far as I know he never took another drink.  Till she quit him of course.  By then he had a lot of catchin up to do.  Tell me about the evils of liquor.  Liquor aint nothing. "

Shia LeBeef
2014-01-10 04:10:12 PM  
1 votes:
"Let's roll."

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 04:07:42 PM  
1 votes:
"When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:07:25 PM  
1 votes:
"Is it in yet?" -Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:01:33 PM  
1 votes:

FraggleStickCar: HotWingConspiracy: FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)

He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.

Yeah that seems most likely.  It is unfortunate for him that lofty ideas like that are maybe more than a little bit beyond his actual grasp.

Or maybe it's all part of even larger and more carefully orchestrated scheme, and you and I will merely be another set of dominos to fall when Shia Labeouf executes his final master stroke.


"If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, checkmate!"

-Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-10 03:56:25 PM  
1 votes:
"Read my lips: no new taxes"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:49:33 PM  
1 votes:

FarkingReading: "I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking serious anal."

- Shia LeBeouf

/no, really
//he actually said that to me


i.imgur.com
2014-01-10 03:48:00 PM  
1 votes:
"I wept."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:41:55 PM  
1 votes:
"Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be 'constitutional' does not make it so."

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:41:14 PM  
1 votes:

quizzical: He's only 27.  I give him a year, tops, before he's chasing the attention.


So he's still eligible for the 27 Club?  Woohoo!
2014-01-10 03:41:06 PM  
1 votes:
"What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" - Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:40:35 PM  
1 votes:
"Save me, Jebus!"

 -Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:38:37 PM  
1 votes:
"I have a dream..." --Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 03:37:40 PM  
1 votes:
I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy
2014-01-10 03:33:57 PM  
1 votes:
"Perilous thoughts, actually..."

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 03:30:15 PM  
1 votes:
But just as sure as it takes two eyes to make a pair,
Brother, we can't quit until we get our share.

Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud

-Shia LaBoeuf
2014-01-10 03:16:33 PM  
1 votes:
"Remember, always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Always remember, others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."

- Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-10 03:14:42 PM  
1 votes:
*waves my fark-o-meter around*

Hm. Number of farks given about his statement is barely detectable.
2014-01-10 03:13:40 PM  
1 votes:

quizzical: He's only 27.  I give him a year

3 weeks, tops, before he's chasing the attention.

FTFY
2014-01-10 03:12:08 PM  
1 votes:
"Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

-Shia LeBoef
2014-01-10 02:35:04 PM  
1 votes:
Good.  I won't miss you.
2014-01-10 12:59:37 PM  
1 votes:
wellbye.jpg
 
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