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(Toronto Sun)   Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger   ( divider line
    More: Sad, Shia Labeouf, J.D. Salinger, Blast!  
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7229 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Jan 2014 at 2:59 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

343 Comments     (+0 »)
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2014-01-11 12:11:01 AM  
"Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:12:14 AM  
Biscuits and mustard...mmmm hmmmmm...

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:17:18 AM  
He'll be back. And I will be there to mock him when he returns.
2014-01-11 12:18:16 AM  
"Father! Father, the sleeper has awakened!"

--Shia "Muad'Dib" LaBoeuf
2014-01-11 12:19:45 AM  

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
- Shia 'The Boof' La Boof

2014-01-11 12:34:28 AM  
Babs, Babs. Why isn't the eggman here? l'm starving to death for some eggs. Please,Babs, come in and give me some eggs!

-Shia Lebeouf
2014-01-11 12:38:29 AM  
"Would you fark me? I'd fark me. I'd fark me hard. I'd fark me so hard."

- Shia "Buffalo Bill" Lebeof
2014-01-11 12:40:48 AM  
"Heineken!? fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

-- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:58:46 AM  

Weatherkiss: "Heineken!? fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

-- Shia LeBeouf

2014-01-11 01:03:15 AM  
All your base are belong to us!

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-11 01:07:22 AM  
Trogdor was a man. I mean, he was a dragon man. Or maybe he was just a dragon.

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 01:23:30 AM  
I think therefore i am.

- Shia Le Boeuf with mushrooms and a nice red wine sauce
2014-01-11 01:24:58 AM  
"I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf
2014-01-11 01:30:01 AM  
"There is no Shia!  Only Zuul!"

~ Zuul Laboeuf
2014-01-11 01:33:17 AM  

DrunkenGator: "I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf

Why you dragging me into this?
2014-01-11 01:43:29 AM  
Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs?

Yours etc. Captain S.L. Beef in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
2014-01-11 02:10:53 AM  
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

-Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-11 02:37:30 AM  
"Well, see... At Bible Camp, we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal! "
-Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-11 03:18:56 AM  
"I rip it hardcore like porno flick biatches. I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 04:33:35 AM  
"You can't process me with a normal brain."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 04:45:00 AM  
"The Durango '95 purred away a real horrowshow - a nice, warm vibraty feeling all through your guttiwuts. And soon it was trees and dark, my brothers, with real country dark."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 05:07:21 AM  
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses. "

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 05:48:59 AM  
"The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 07:04:40 AM  
"My God - it's full of stars!"

Shia Labia-oof

/much like this entire thread
2014-01-11 07:07:24 AM  
"I'm as cold a motherfarker as you've ever put your farking eyes on. I don't give a shiat about those people."

--Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 08:44:41 AM  
"I just want to tell you good luck, we're all counting on you."

-Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 09:01:23 AM  
...And there was much rejoicing.
2014-01-11 09:58:36 AM  
"Business bad? fark you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? fark you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? fark you, pay me."

--Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 10:15:59 AM  
'During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.'

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 10:31:27 AM  
Rick Moranis did it better.
2014-01-11 10:50:21 AM  

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-11 10:53:51 AM  

digitalrain: I'm waiting for him to stop doing weird movies. I loved to hate him in Gladiator, thought he was great in Quills, and he
absolutely blew my mind in The Man In Black.

Me too. I was quite a fan for a while. He gave me the chills in Gladiator. Then he pulled that stunt. I have no patience for that Andy Kaufman B.S.
2014-01-11 11:04:19 AM  
"It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.  So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great."

-Shia Labeouf
2014-01-11 11:35:07 AM  

italie: Rick Moranis did it better.

Yes, have some
2014-01-11 11:52:06 AM  
"Yes, women may have equal rights."

-Sharia law goof
2014-01-11 11:54:12 AM  
And in the end the love you take
Is equal to the love you make

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:03:19 PM  
"And this one time at band camp...."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-11 12:18:43 PM
2014-01-11 12:43:27 PM  

Captain Steroid: [ image 415x275]

i cant stop giggling at that.
2014-01-11 03:00:53 PM  

SnakeMan: DrunkenGator: "I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf

Why you dragging me into this?

I really didn't mean to. I just trusted you'd understand.  My mistake, I know.

But to continue the theme:
"I'm pissed off now, Shia. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You don't help me now. I say "Fark you," Shia, I do it myself.  " - Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-11 08:42:07 PM  
When you grow up, your heart dies.
- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-12 02:30:25 AM  
Pompous twat.
2014-01-12 03:18:42 AM  
"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

-Shia LeBeouf
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