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(Toronto Sun)   Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger   (torontosun.com) divider line 351
    More: Sad, Shia Labeouf, J.D. Salinger, Blast!  
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7130 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Jan 2014 at 2:59 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



351 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-10 12:59:37 PM
wellbye.jpg
 
2014-01-10 01:03:18 PM
I used to think that he was just someone who was cast in too many films, being pretty much the same character in each.

Now I know he's just a stupid dick.
 
2014-01-10 01:21:22 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-01-10 01:27:56 PM
ROFL.

So, he's plagiarizing Rand Paul, who threatened to quit because he plagiarized.
 
2014-01-10 02:35:04 PM
Good.  I won't miss you.
 
2014-01-10 02:39:35 PM
"You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference".

 - Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 02:45:05 PM
Who's going to take up the mantle in the Indiana Jones franchise??

I'm sorry, I stabbed myself in the cock for even saying that.
 
2014-01-10 02:52:19 PM

Diogenes: "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference".
 - Shia LeBoeuf


I LOL'ed
 
2014-01-10 03:03:58 PM

Diogenes: ROFL.

So, he's plagiarizing Rand Paul, who threatened to quit because he plagiarized.


"Yo, dawg..."
 
2014-01-10 03:03:59 PM
What's the over / under on Shia TheBeef pulling an Amanda Bynes?
 
2014-01-10 03:06:16 PM
He's only 27.  I give him a year, tops, before he's chasing the attention.
 
2014-01-10 03:07:03 PM
"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth."
-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 03:09:17 PM

Trocadero: "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth."
-Shia LeBoeuf


Winner.
 
2014-01-10 03:12:08 PM
"Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

-Shia LeBoef
 
2014-01-10 03:12:19 PM
Believe it or not the Daily Fail had a better take on this story, including the full cease and desist letter which is priceless!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2537264/Shia-LaBeouf-re ve als-quitting-fame-following-attacks-artistic-integrity.html
 
2014-01-10 03:12:22 PM
If only I could be so rich as to retire from public life at 27.
 
2014-01-10 03:12:42 PM

Diogenes: "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference"....

 - Shia LeBoeuf


...until the next one.
 
2014-01-10 03:13:13 PM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2014-01-10 03:13:40 PM

quizzical: He's only 27.  I give him a year

3 weeks, tops, before he's chasing the attention.

FTFY
 
2014-01-10 03:14:08 PM
"Start the plane!!!"

- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:14:42 PM
*waves my fark-o-meter around*

Hm. Number of farks given about his statement is barely detectable.
 
2014-01-10 03:16:33 PM
"Remember, always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Always remember, others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."

- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:17:24 PM
"I really see no problem with it. At least half of the people involved are enjoying it. Why spoil their fun?"

- Shia LaBeouf on rape
 
2014-01-10 03:18:18 PM
Well his hair line is certainly retiring from the front part of his head...so maybe the timing is right
 
2014-01-10 03:20:24 PM
World needs plenty of ditch diggers

content9.flixster.com
 
2014-01-10 03:20:52 PM
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."
 -Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:24:22 PM
"One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. "

*Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:25:49 PM
Artistic integrity.  Un-f*cking-believable.  Some people are so completely delusional and narcissistic it hurts my head.  At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.
 
2014-01-10 03:30:03 PM
 "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing, because if I had known that sort of thing was frowned upon..."

 -Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:30:15 PM
But just as sure as it takes two eyes to make a pair,
Brother, we can't quit until we get our share.

Say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud

-Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 03:31:05 PM
"You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain "
-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:31:07 PM
"Flyyou fools!"

 -Shia LeBeouf  (to skywriters)
 
2014-01-10 03:31:19 PM
It won't last. He's just being a brat.
 
2014-01-10 03:32:07 PM
"I said, to the people of the Philippines whence I came, I shall return. Tonight, I repeat those words: I shall return!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:32:47 PM
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:33:57 PM
"Perilous thoughts, actually..."

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:34:46 PM
You know how sometimes, in a comments thread, some new knucklehead troll will get his ass handed to him and then he tries to play it off with sillier and sillier posts, just to make it seem like we all played into his hands?

This is like that, except with actionable plagiarism .
 
2014-01-10 03:36:24 PM
"Au revoir, gopher."
 -Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:36:33 PM
"If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

- Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:36:48 PM
"It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. I've outrun Imperial starships. Not the local bulk cruisers mind you, I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now. She's fast enough for you old man. What's the cargo?"

 -Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:36:54 PM
"To be, or not to be, that is the question "
-Shia LeBouf
 
Bf+
2014-01-10 03:37:14 PM

Publikwerks: "You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain "
-Shia LeBeouf


Wait, wasn't that RAND PAUL?
 
2014-01-10 03:37:18 PM
" I vant to be alone. I am not a crook. I'm just going outside...and I may be some time. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to retire" - Shia LeBeuf
 
2014-01-10 03:37:40 PM
I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy
 
2014-01-10 03:37:41 PM
 "Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:37:42 PM
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

 -Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:38:13 PM
He and Bieber should hook up.
 
2014-01-10 03:38:37 PM
"I have a dream..." --Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:40:05 PM
WHERE'S THE BEEF?

Someone should totally make a t-shirt of that.
 
2014-01-10 03:40:19 PM
"That's FRANK-en-steen."  --Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:40:25 PM
"Either the wallpaper goes, or I do."

- Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:40:29 PM
"Crush your enemies. See the men driven before you.  Hear the lamentations of their women"


Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:40:35 PM
"Save me, Jebus!"

 -Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:40:57 PM
"Where's the beef?"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:41:06 PM
"What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" - Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:41:14 PM

quizzical: He's only 27.  I give him a year, tops, before he's chasing the attention.


So he's still eligible for the 27 Club?  Woohoo!
 
2014-01-10 03:41:21 PM
I have always heard that imitation is the sincerest form of theft.
 
2014-01-10 03:41:39 PM
I hope he does not lose health care.
 
2014-01-10 03:41:46 PM
"Ich Bin Ein Berliner" -- Shia LeBeef
 
2014-01-10 03:41:55 PM
"Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be 'constitutional' does not make it so."

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:42:19 PM
"I cannot tell a lie."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:42:42 PM
"Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:43:01 PM
You can't buy back your respect; you can't buy back your career. You only get one, so I don't want to mess that up.

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:43:04 PM
That's one small step for man. .. one giant leap for mankind.

Shia ledouche
 
2014-01-10 03:43:11 PM
"I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells...and...I like to kiss my own butt."--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:43:50 PM
"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."
-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:44:53 PM
I turned down a scholarship to Yale.  The problem with college is that there is a tendency to mistake preparation for productivity. You can prepare all you want, but if you never roll the dice you'll never be successful.

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:44:54 PM
"I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking serious anal."

- Shia LeBeouf

/no, really
//he actually said that to me
 
2014-01-10 03:45:03 PM
"Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt? "
-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:45:08 PM
"Fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, and fark you, I'm out! "

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 03:45:23 PM
"Is Shia LeBeouf gonna have to choke a biatch?"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:45:35 PM
"I'm being criticized for not having proper attribution, and yet they are able to write stuff that if I were their journalism teacher in college, I would fail them."

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 03:46:28 PM
"THIS. IS. SPARTA!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:48:00 PM
"I wept."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:48:19 PM
I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)
 
2014-01-10 03:48:42 PM
People were going to geometry class and I was swimming through vats of chili on 'Even Stevens.'  It was like a dream!

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 03:49:27 PM
"What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:49:33 PM

FarkingReading: "I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking serious anal."

- Shia LeBeouf

/no, really
//he actually said that to me


i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-10 03:49:37 PM
All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?

O-o
 
2014-01-10 03:49:53 PM
"Listen, and understand. That transformer is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."

- Shia LaBoof
 
2014-01-10 03:50:10 PM
img.fark.net

"Leave Shia alone!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:50:37 PM
"I believe that all of the people who were affected by this conduct deserve this apology and that's why I'm giving it to them," LeBeouf said. "I also need to apologize to them for my failure as the governor director of this state, err, movie, to understand the true nature of this problem sooner than I did."
 
2014-01-10 03:50:43 PM
"Also, don't you dare tell me what I can use in a photoshop contest movie, I'll use anything I like!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:50:54 PM

Publikwerks: FarkingReading: "I am not looking for casual sex. I am seeking serious anal."

- Shia LeBeouf

/no, really
//he actually said that to me

[i.imgur.com image 263x191]


Oh, follow up - Was he looking to pitch or catch?
 
2014-01-10 03:51:00 PM
"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom!"

Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:52:38 PM
"All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?

O-o"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:52:47 PM
Oh I guess I should've read the comments first.  What I meant to say was:

"Et tu, Brute?

-Shia Labeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:54:16 PM
"Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:55:14 PM
 "if you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan"

-Shia Labeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:55:19 PM
"Get the butter."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:56:03 PM

FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)


He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.
 
2014-01-10 03:56:25 PM
"Read my lips: no new taxes"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:56:39 PM
And nothing of value was lost.
 
2014-01-10 03:57:36 PM
"I was trying to feel some kind of good-bye. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-bye or a bad good-bye, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it. If you don't you feel even worse."

-Shia Labeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:57:50 PM

Diogenes: "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference".

 - Shia LeBoeuf


Much respect for this reference.
 
2014-01-10 03:58:11 PM
I suspect he's just trolling everyone now.
 
2014-01-10 03:58:37 PM
"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 03:58:56 PM

HotWingConspiracy: FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)

He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.


Yeah that seems most likely.  It is unfortunate for him that lofty ideas like that are maybe more than a little bit beyond his actual grasp.

Or maybe it's all part of even larger and more carefully orchestrated scheme, and you and I will merely be another set of dominos to fall when Shia Labeouf executes his final master stroke.
 
2014-01-10 04:00:44 PM
"Do you want fries with that?"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:00:57 PM
"Remember, you're the 1st Marines!  Not all the Communists in Hell can overrun you!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:01:33 PM

FraggleStickCar: HotWingConspiracy: FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)

He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.

Yeah that seems most likely.  It is unfortunate for him that lofty ideas like that are maybe more than a little bit beyond his actual grasp.

Or maybe it's all part of even larger and more carefully orchestrated scheme, and you and I will merely be another set of dominos to fall when Shia Labeouf executes his final master stroke.


"If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, checkmate!"

-Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:02:52 PM
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"   "May the force be with you."

Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:03:57 PM
"Shia LeBEOUFS. Shia'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:04:35 PM
"All the fame you should look for in life is to have lived it quietly."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:05:41 PM

Majikthise: "One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. "

*Shia LeBeouf


Ah.  This nearly brought a tear to my eye.  Never knew Shia had a granddaughter named Susan Foreman.
 
2014-01-10 04:07:19 PM
"I couldn't care less about Shia LaBeouf."

-Shea LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:07:25 PM
"Is it in yet?" -Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:07:42 PM
"When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:08:34 PM
"Call me Ishmael."

-Shia LeBeoughft


Mugato: All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?

O-o


some of my previous ones were direct from the source, just like Manon.
 
2014-01-10 04:08:57 PM
kristinhoppe.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-10 04:10:12 PM
"Let's roll."

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 04:10:50 PM
Can we possibly retroactively remove him from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
 
2014-01-10 04:11:18 PM
"I've got to go, Rock. It's all right. I'm not afraid. Some time, Rock, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, ask them to go in there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll know about it, and I'll be happy."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:11:29 PM
img2.timeinc.net

Someone break the news to Vanity Fair...The New Tom Hanks he is not.
 
2014-01-10 04:12:08 PM
"Totes adorbs."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:13:40 PM
"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in."

  - Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 04:14:40 PM
"You remember when we used to go down to Bloy's to try to pick up girls?  That's where he met her at.  Camp meetin.  That'll make you ponder the ways of God.  He asked her out and she told him she wouldn't go out with a man that drank.  He looked her straight in the eye and told her he didn't drink.  She like to fell over backwards.  I guess it come as something of a shock to her to meet a even bigger liar than what she was.  But he told the naked truth.  Of course she called his hand on it.  Said she knew for a fact he drank.  Said everybody in Jeff Davis County knew he drank and drank plenty and was wild as a buck.  He never batted an eye.  Said he used to but he quit.  She asked him when did he quit and he said I just now did.  And she went out with him.  And as far as I know he never took another drink.  Till she quit him of course.  By then he had a lot of catchin up to do.  Tell me about the evils of liquor.  Liquor aint nothing. "

Shia LeBeef
 
2014-01-10 04:15:55 PM
www.farbish.com
 
2014-01-10 04:16:08 PM
"Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  Stupid!  You're so stupid!"

- Shia Lebeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:16:54 PM
"Time for some traffic problems in Ft. Lee."

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:17:24 PM
"You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:18:06 PM
"Your kind cannot bear that the world be ordinary.  That it contain nothing save what stands before one.  But the Mexican world is a world of adornment only and underneath it is very plain indeed.  While your world ... your world totters upon an unspoken labyrinth of questions.  And we will devour you, my friend.  You and all your pale empire."

The Beef
 
2014-01-10 04:18:56 PM
"Moral law is an invention of mankind for the disenfranchisement of the powerful in favor of the weak. Historical law subverts it at every turn."

Shia LeBouef
 
2014-01-10 04:19:09 PM
"Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future."

Shia "The Beef" LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:19:32 PM
"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that.... MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! GO! GO! GO!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:20:57 PM
"Go for the eyes, Boo!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:21:24 PM
"An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:22:04 PM
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Shia "Keep on Beefing" LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:24:00 PM
"Believe in the beat that's on the street, it's hoppin' and poppin', they're breakin' and locking'"

Shia "Beat It" LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:25:51 PM
I heard his mother was one of those flower child sluts who got passed around at the commune back in the day.
 
2014-01-10 04:26:24 PM
"It was a very stupid thing to do, I'll admit, but I hardly didn't even know I was doing it."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:26:27 PM
Magua knows that the white man is a dog to his women. When they are tired, he puts down his tomahawk to feed their laziness.  When the Grey Hair is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Grey Hair will know his seed is wiped out forever.

- Chiapas La Boheme

ZeroCorpse: Can we possibly retroactively remove him from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?


That movie was never made, so why bother?

Tomfoolery Rules Over Logical Living: "Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  Stupid!  You're so stupid!"

- Shia Lebeouf


Niiiiiiice.
 
2014-01-10 04:26:35 PM
"It is a mistake to expect too much of justice in the world.  The notion that evil is seldom rewarded is greatly overspoken for if there were no advantage to it then men would shun it and how could virtue then be attached to its repudiation?  It is true that time heals bereavement, but it does so only at the cost of the slow extinction of those loved ones from the heart's memory which is the sole place of their abode then or now.  Faces fade, voices dim.  Seize them back.  Speak with them.  Call their names.  Do this and do not let sorrow die for it is the sweetening of every gift."

Chia McBeef
 
2014-01-10 04:28:15 PM

Spare Me: I heard his mother was one of those flower child sluts who got passed around at the commune back in the day.


"My mom is the backbone not just of my family but of many families." -Sheera La Beard.


ZOMG, that puts the quote into so much context!
 
2014-01-10 04:29:05 PM
"So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:29:39 PM
    Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
    If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
    Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
    I must have you!"

--Shia le Boeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:30:40 PM
"You get nothing! You lose! Good day,sir!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:31:33 PM
No no no, no no no no no!
 
2014-01-10 04:33:28 PM
"A categorical imperative would be one which represented an action as objectively necessary in itself, without reference to any other purpose."

-Sheeshee LaRoux
 
2014-01-10 04:34:09 PM

Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.


HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy


Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!


I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.
 
2014-01-10 04:35:11 PM
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan?"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:35:19 PM
"Hoooottttt pocket!" - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:36:41 PM
"I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a MAAAAAPP!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:36:44 PM
"They have seen my strength for themselves, have watched me rise from the darkness of war, dripping with my enemies' blood. I drove five great giants into chains, chased all of that race from the earth. I swam in the blackness of night, hunting monsters out of the ocean, and killing them one by one; death was my errand and the fate they had earned. Now Grendel and I are called together, and I've come."

-Shia LaBeowulf
 
2014-01-10 04:37:43 PM
Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me. P.S: Tell Heywood I'm sorry I put a knife to his throat. No hard feelings

Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:38:02 PM
"I regret I only have one life to give to my country"

Shia LeBeefstain
 
2014-01-10 04:38:36 PM
"Sweep the leg. Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Lawrence?" - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:38:52 PM
"It's not over until I say it's over!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:39:19 PM
In this fall...this is very tough...in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.

-Shia Lebron
 
2014-01-10 04:40:56 PM
"There's a Devil in my dick, a demon in my semen."

~Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:41:17 PM

Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.


That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.
 
2014-01-10 04:42:55 PM
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

- Shia Leboof
 
2014-01-10 04:43:10 PM
"I'm still better liked than that Apple commercial guy."

-shiat LeBeef
 
2014-01-10 04:43:33 PM

Fireproof: Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.

That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.


it's obvious you just can't handle the rigors of Fark and you should probably cease.  Like, fundamentally.

"/am I doin' it rite?" -Shia .....  Just Shia.
 
2014-01-10 04:43:37 PM
"I am God's vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

Shia "Imma let you finish" LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:44:35 PM
"My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy.  When you're burned, you've got nothing: no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in. You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend... An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...Family too... if you're desperate.  Bottom line? Until you figure out who burned you... you're not going anywhere."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:45:24 PM
"Talking about killing? Y'all experts? Y'all know about killing? I'd like to hear about it, potheads. " - shiat The Bed
 
2014-01-10 04:45:48 PM
I'm resisting the thread tendencies to attach this guy's name to a random, famous quote.

Is this guy more famous than I think he is or something?  He was the star of a Transformers franchise that only impressed children and adults who think that a large CGI budget makes a movie good.  I'm possibly in the minority but, none of those movies was worth watching (because better eye candy is a mouse click away on the internet), were they?  He was in Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and managed to be only the 3rd or 4th least-likeable person in the movie, so he had that going for him.  (my childhood wants to forget that POS was ever made)

I've never seen the guy in anything that I would call "good".  I don't think his retirement is going to harm anyone.
 
2014-01-10 04:46:35 PM
he just had this done over west la / burbank . it said #StopCreating    (sorry wasn't legible for long )

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-10 04:46:38 PM
SHIA: Eat this, you giant tree trunk piece of ass. (Shia sticks his half-eaten banana cereal bar in his step-father's mouth and attempts to shove it down his throat.)

RICHARD: AHHHHH! (He pushes Shia away and takes out the cereal bar.)

SHIA: fark you, DAD!

RICHARD: (Out of sheer desecrated hurt and anger, Richard lifts his large arms and swings a deadly blow at the thirteen year old boy.)

- Richard McBeef
- Written by Shia McBeef
 
2014-01-10 04:47:11 PM

Fireproof: Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.

That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.


Not to pile on but, if you thought Transformers or Crystal Skull were good movies, the world would benefit from your immediate death.
 
2014-01-10 04:47:40 PM
I will choose a path that's clear, I will choose free will."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:48:24 PM
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go down to the salon to get my pubic hair straightened and dyed so that my dick looks like Santa Claus." *Farts loudly*

-Shia LeBeouf

/Obscure?
 
2014-01-10 04:48:55 PM
"I heard of a man
who says words so beautifully
that if he only speaks their name
women give themselves to him.

If I am dumb beside your body
while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips
it is because I hear a man climb stairs
and clear his throat outside our door."

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 04:49:25 PM
"I'll be back"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:49:35 PM
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"

Shia lepoof
 
2014-01-10 04:49:50 PM
"It's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:51:07 PM

SquiggsIN: Fireproof: Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.

That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.

Not to pile on but, if you thought Transformers or Crystal Skull were good movies, the world would benefit from your immediate death.


Uh...I did not.
 
2014-01-10 04:51:29 PM
"Shia LeBoeuf is my hero. His work is jaw-dropping."
-Cory Doctorow
 
2014-01-10 04:52:26 PM

Fireproof: Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.

That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.


Wanting to cause someone's death is disturbing.  In this particular instance, Shia LaBoeuf killing himself is for my entertainment.  And that just happens to be his job.
 
2014-01-10 04:52:30 PM
"Ze PLANE!!!  Ze PLANE!!!"

--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:56:06 PM

BafflerMeal: [www.farbish.com image 737x552]


fix'd

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-10 04:57:02 PM

SquiggsIN: I'm resisting the thread tendencies to attach this guy's name to a random, famous quote.



"One of us, one of us, one of us!"

-Sharia LeBond
 
2014-01-10 04:57:27 PM
"I'm not in favor of any discrimination of any form."

Rand LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 04:59:27 PM
i.imgur.com
R.I.P. Beef Stroganoff
/too soon?
 
2014-01-10 05:04:20 PM
"Go ahead.  Make my day."

--Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 05:06:34 PM
"Boobies" - Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:07:07 PM
college co-eds..

img203.imageshack.us


If you are opposed to this, well, you can't be my friend.
 
2014-01-10 05:07:56 PM
oops, wrong thread.


not that anyone will complain
 
2014-01-10 05:10:50 PM
No "HERO" tag?
 
2014-01-10 05:11:27 PM
What a little wiener.   i can't imagine a worse meltdown and handling of a pr gaffe.
he's probably so used to being surrounded by yes-men, he simply can't ever come off his perch.
 
2014-01-10 05:11:40 PM
"college co-eds..

img.fark.net


If you are opposed to this, well, you can't be my friend."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:12:20 PM
"I hereby announce my retirement from public life effective noon tomorrow. Vice President Ford will be sworn in as President in this office at that hour."

- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:12:21 PM
"I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille."

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 05:20:09 PM
First Bieber and now Labeouf.  Since when did 12 become the new retirement age?
 
2014-01-10 05:21:33 PM
"KHAAAAAAAN!"

~ Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 05:21:58 PM
"You'll Get Over It" - Shiat LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 05:22:49 PM
"Plop, plop! Fizz, fizz! Oh, what a relief it is!"

- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:23:48 PM

Don't let reality's door hit you in the ass on the way out, cockspittle!

What a colossal douche. "You caught me repeatedly stealing IP from people - I'm gonna run away now." Perhaps, Shia, you should develop not just a personality, but some original material, during your self-imposed hiatus in your Fortress of Solipsism.
 
2014-01-10 05:24:24 PM
"I was probably in a drunken stupor"

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 05:26:00 PM
assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2014-01-10 05:27:42 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: college co-eds..


If you are opposed to this, well, you can't be my friend.


She has glasses. She's hideous.
 
2014-01-10 05:28:24 PM
"The only hope now, I felt, was the possibility that we'd gone to such excess, with our gig, that nobody in a position to bring the hammer down on us could possibly  believe it." -- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:29:48 PM
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of the beef, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of beef, we had everything before us, we had beef before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of beef only.

Shia Oliver Beef
 
2014-01-10 05:35:11 PM
"It depends on what the definition of the word 'is' is." - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:36:17 PM
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:38:08 PM
What a great story. You'll hear bits of this post repeated by late night talk show hosts in the monologue for the next week.
 
2014-01-10 05:41:03 PM
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time... to die."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:47:17 PM
"A mulatto, an albino. A mosquito, my libido."  - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:51:58 PM

MISSION FARKING ACCOMPLISHED

 
2014-01-10 05:54:29 PM
"Well, what do you wanna hear, man? Do you wanna hear that sometimes I think about eatin' a bullet? Huh? Well, I do! I even got a special bullet for the occasion with a hollow point, look! Make sure it blows the back of my goddamned head out and do the job right! Every single day I wake up and I think of a reason not to do it! Every single day! You know why I don't do it? This is gonna make you laugh! You know why I don't do it? The job! Doin' the job! Now that's the reason!"

-Shia Lebeouf
 
2014-01-10 05:54:55 PM
"Qualis artifex pereo!"
-Shia LeBoef
 
2014-01-10 05:57:58 PM
"A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:06:42 PM
"No wire hangers!"

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 06:08:57 PM
"These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you they're gold, and you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you would be throwing them away. They're for closers."

 - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:09:37 PM
"After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease. But no matter how you come to judge Charles Wheeler and his partners, in ethical, moral, and in human terms, the fact of the matter is, when they fired Andrew Beckett because he had AIDS, they broke the law."

Shia LeBeouf, when asked about his retirement.
 
2014-01-10 06:13:04 PM
"I pooped myself"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:15:10 PM
So, no Wall Street III - The Paint Never Dries, then?

Nooooo!!!
 
2014-01-10 06:18:18 PM
As comedian Martin Parker once correctly stated, did you all know that the literal French translation of Shia LeBoeuf is "Beef Flavored S#$t Spray"?
 
2014-01-10 06:19:25 PM

Foxxinnia: If only I could be so rich as to retire from public life at 27.


Maybe he's planning to join the 27 Club.

/I know, he's not a 'popular musician'.
 
2014-01-10 06:22:17 PM
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:23:40 PM
The crew of the space shuttle Challenger honored us by the manner in which they lived their lives. We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:25:10 PM
"Klaatu Barada Nickto"

--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:26:22 PM

ristst: "Klaatu Barada Nickto Necktie"

--Shia LeBeouf

 
2014-01-10 06:27:14 PM
"Beep beep beep"

Shia LeSputnik
 
2014-01-10 06:28:36 PM
Assume the controls, Holk Hogan!

--The Ultimate LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:33:15 PM

Fireproof: "Also, don't you dare tell me what I can use in a photoshop contest movie, I'll use anything I like!"

-Shia LeBeouf


That was a one hell of a photoshop thread!!

-Shia Lebouf
 
2014-01-10 06:33:23 PM
"At midnight of the appointed date, Mr. Scratch arrives and is greeted by Webster, who presents himself as Stone's Shia's attorney. Mr. Scratch tells Webster, "I shall call upon you, as a law-abiding citizen, to assist me in taking possession of my property," and so begins the argument. It goes poorly for Webster, since the signature and the contract are clear, and Mr. Scratch will not agree to a compromise."

-Shia Leboulf
 
2014-01-10 06:39:15 PM
Son, your mother and me would like for you to cozy up to the Finkelstein boy.

--Shia Lebeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:39:23 PM
Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.

In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.
 
2014-01-10 06:44:52 PM
"ManItellyouwhatHankboutdatdangol'mean ingoflifemanitslikethis, man. It'slikebutterflyflappin'itswingsdeepd ownintheforestman, gonnacauseatreefalls like 5,000 miles away, manain'tnobodyseeitnobodydunevenknowit evenhappen. Youknowlikebabybornintothisworldyoukno wain'tgotnogoddangfriendsain'tgo tnothinbuttheycomeinfindoutallaboutdat ol evil, man. Man, seelike, youdon'tevenknow, man whenyougoneit'slike you're born into this world, man. Andyouknowit'slikethis, likedustinthewind, man. Orlikeadangolcandleinthewindmanyougone getdon'tevenmattermanit'slikeall oldiesallthetimeman. YouknowwhatIthinkman?It'slike'Ithinkth erefore you are' man."

-Shia LeBeouf

/sorry if that's too hard to read
//just as hard to write
///slashies still come in three, right?
 
2014-01-10 06:45:42 PM
"-- RAND PAUL"

-- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 06:49:24 PM
Since he's plagiarizing bukowski, Was his apology along the lines of "F**k stardom, F**k this tree - a rotting, gray husk, and F*k this! " and eventually drilling down into a stream of consciousness only a man whose had half a bottle of bourbon can truly appreciate?
 
2014-01-10 06:49:42 PM
"...would you be willin' to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take... OUR FREEDOM!"

-Shia LeBeouf


Also I was thinking of a new meme. Take your favorite meme and replace the main character in it with Shia.
 
2014-01-10 06:50:16 PM
"All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up".

-Shia LePoof
 
2014-01-10 06:54:59 PM
I used to talk about killing myself all the time, man. But I don't wanna die now. It ain't long enough. Sixteen years ain't gonna be long enough. Hell, I wouldn't care so much if there hadn't been so many things I haven't done yet. So many damn things I ain't seen or done. That time when we were in Windrixville was the only time I've ever been away from my neighborhood.

- S.E. LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 07:02:16 PM
You know, there is a "27 club" he might want to join, not that they'd have him as a member if he passed the entry test, but, he could knock on that door...
 
2014-01-10 07:05:14 PM
When Quentin Tarantino does it it's called a "homage". Shia needs to get a better publicist or something.
 
2014-01-10 07:05:49 PM
"Today, we are cancelling the apocalypse!"
Field Marshal LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:07:40 PM
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow! - Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 07:08:26 PM

EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.


You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.
 
2014-01-10 07:12:42 PM
You haven't seen the last of Barbados LeBoeuf! Now goodbye, forever!
- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:12:42 PM
"What's he that wishes so?
My cousin Bumblebee? No, my fair cousin;
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
Bay's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Prime, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires.
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.
No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from Burbank.
Bay's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Bumblebee, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian."
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say "These wounds I had on Crispian's day."
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Shia the Beef, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in Burbank now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. "

-Shia LeBouef
 
2014-01-10 07:18:14 PM
"Where's the beef?"

- Shia The Beef
 
2014-01-10 07:21:14 PM

EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.


Please. Don't go.
 
2014-01-10 07:22:53 PM
"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it."

- Shia LeBouef
 
2014-01-10 07:24:47 PM
"Welcome to Erf!"

-Shia LeBouef
 
2014-01-10 07:27:58 PM
"Sloth love Chunk!"

-Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:28:07 PM

The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Please. Don't go.


Oh no, I said I was leaving and I meant it! I had a beautiful life here in this thread, and you all killed it! This is murder! Murder! You're all guilty, and you did it all for nothing! Killing my posts won't bring back your goddamn honey!
 
2014-01-10 07:29:52 PM

"You all know the mission, and what is at stake.

I have come to trust each of you with my life -- but I have also heard murmurs of discontent. I share your concerns.
We are trained for espionage; we would be legends, but the records are sealed. Glory in battle is not our way.
Think of our heroes; the Silent Step, who defeated a nation with a single shot. Or the Ever Alert, who kept armies at bay with hidden facts.
These giants do not seem to give us solace here, but they are not all that we are.
Before the network, there was the fleet. Before diplomacy, there were soldiers!

Our influence stopped the Rachni, but before that we held the line!


Our influence stopped the Krogan, but before that we held the line!


Our influence will stop Saren; in the battle today, we will hold the line!"

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:30:48 PM
"America's long national nightmare has finally come to an end."

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:34:29 PM
"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, '... I drank what?'"

 - Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:36:11 PM
"O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" - Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:40:06 PM

EdgeRunner: The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Please. Don't go.

Oh no, I said I was leaving and I meant it! I had a beautiful life here in this thread, and you all killed it! This is murder! Murder! You're all guilty, and you did it all for nothing! Killing my posts won't bring back your goddamn honey!


Edgerunner! Don't, I'll say anything! Please, Edgerunner, I'll say anything you want, tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it...please don't go!
 
2014-01-10 07:40:44 PM
Game over man! Game over! -Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:41:46 PM
The Boeufaloos, the Boeufaloos
We're in the air and everywhere
Flying high, flying loose
Flying free as a summer breeze
Happy as a summer breeze

   -- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:45:28 PM

The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: The Pope of Manwich Village: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Please. Don't go.

Oh no, I said I was leaving and I meant it! I had a beautiful life here in this thread, and you all killed it! This is murder! Murder! You're all guilty, and you did it all for nothing! Killing my posts won't bring back your goddamn honey!

Edgerunner! Don't, I'll say anything! Please, Edgerunner, I'll say anything you want, tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it...please don't go!


Everybody betrayed me! I'm fed up with this thread! YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, FARK THREAD! You are all just little chickens! Cheep cheep cheep cheep!

Oh hi, Pope of Manwich Village.
 
2014-01-10 07:45:36 PM
"There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon."
-- Louis Stevens
 
2014-01-10 07:49:41 PM
Be patient till the last.
Autobots, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my
cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me
for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and
awake your senses, that you may the better judge.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Optimus', to him I say, that Bumblebee's love to Optimus
was no less than his. If then that friend demand
why Bumblebee rose against Optimus, this is my answer:
--Not that I loved Optimus less, but that I loved
Cybertron more. Had you rather Optimus were living and
die all slaves, than that Optimus were dead, to live
all free men? As Optimus loved me, I weep for him;
as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was
valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I
slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his
fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his
ambition. Who is here so base that would be a
bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be an Autobot? If
any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so
vile that will not love his country? If any, speak;
for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

-Shia "The Beef" LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:50:03 PM

Shrugging Atlas: "Au revoir, gopher."
 -Shia LeBeouf


Winner right here. If I had 5$ you would be a reviled TFer
 
2014-01-10 07:53:09 PM
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
shiathead Labafoon.
 
2014-01-10 07:54:19 PM
Holy crap.

Shia LeBeouf must be the most quotable motherfarker in human history. It's so sad that he's retiring.
 
2014-01-10 07:54:24 PM

EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.


Are you by chance leaving on a jet plane? Any idea when you will be back again?
 
2014-01-10 07:54:42 PM
"My name is Shia LeBoeuf"

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:56:53 PM
"As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 07:57:31 PM
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
 Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
 Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
 Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it

--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:08:32 PM

WhyKnot: EdgeRunner: EdgeRunner: Oh, oh, you know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Shia LaBeouf. The fact is the man's out there every bloody night, putting a fresh spin on other people's material, and he's charming.
In light of the recent attacks against Shia's artistic integrity, I am retiring from this thread. My love goes out to those who have supported me.

You guys saw this, right? Where I said I'm retiring from this thread? And my love goes out to those who have supported me?

I'm not joking around here. All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. I'm standin' here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye, but the dawn is breakin', it's early morn, the taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn. Already I'm so lonesome I could die.

Are you by chance leaving on a jet plane? Any idea when you will be back again?


My dear and loyal FARKers,

I must apologize to you all. Today, I have learned an immensely valuable lesson. Never, ever let Shia LaBeouf "artistically repurpose" your password.

My original submission, by those champions of truth, the writers of Family Guy, was meant to be the entirety of EdgeRunner wisdom for this thread. However, my unemployed and attention-starved roommate Shia, since learning of my password last night, has seen fit to take me down a few pegs. I fear that he may have succeeded, as quite a few of you will no doubt call this post a lie. Nevertheless, I can assure you all that the EdgeRunner you all know and love is back and in relative control of things (Shia's out of the room, transcribing the entirety of Barlett's "Familiar Quotations" onto his military application. He plans to join the Marine Core and help them finish up in Afghanistan.).

Once again, my sincerest apologies go out to all who have come to expect more from me. I'd apologize further, but I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes and I have a lot of mustard to clean off my shirt first.
 
2014-01-10 08:09:28 PM

baconbeard: "My name is Shia LeBoeuf"

- Shia LeBoeuf


Hey! He stole that line from me.
 
2014-01-10 08:09:46 PM
"I'm probably one of the most dangerous men in the world if I want to be. But I never wanted to be anything but me."

--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:18:21 PM
"I AM the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:18:52 PM
"You know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:21:14 PM
That'll do, donkey.
That'll do.

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:22:20 PM
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 08:23:14 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-10 08:25:31 PM
"Garbage Day!!!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:27:50 PM
1/10/14 - never forget.
 
2014-01-10 08:27:57 PM
l.wigflip.com
 
2014-01-10 08:29:23 PM

Nonrepeating Rotating Binary: Foxxinnia: If only I could be so rich as to retire from public life at 27.

Maybe he's planning to join the 27 Club.

/I know, he's not a 'popular musician'.


Make an exception?

There's a bunch of candidates for Club 27 from the movies this year.
 
2014-01-10 08:31:59 PM
"There's never going to be something quite so satisfying as relieving yourself in the kitchen sink.  You should try it."

--MrHappyRotter
 
2014-01-10 08:51:32 PM
"It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving!"
-shiat LeBeuf
 
2014-01-10 08:53:47 PM
"So long and thanks for all the fish."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 08:54:59 PM
i1078.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-10 08:55:01 PM
I'm here for the gangbang?
--Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 09:02:43 PM
"What the fark did you just farking say about me, you little biatch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fark out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my farking words. You think you can get away with saying that shiat to me over the Internet? Think again, farker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're farking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shiat. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your farking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shiat fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're farking dead, kiddo. "

-Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:06:39 PM
Ain't no thang but a chicken wing (wang?)
-Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:09:35 PM
"I'm a Bondurant. We don't lay down for nobody."
-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-10 09:12:26 PM
"You know, Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavyweight champion of Sicilian liars. From growin' up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guy's got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, a guy's got seventeen. But if you know 'em like ya know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell."

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:19:04 PM
'Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend,' I shrieked, upstarting-
'Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off mydoor!'

Quoth The Beef, 'Nevermore.'
 
2014-01-10 09:21:51 PM
"You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get."

- Shia Laboeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:24:05 PM
"Seit 5:45 Uhr wird zurückgeschossen"

- SLB
 
2014-01-10 09:28:18 PM
I don't remember his speech verbatim but I thought the part where he called us all Romans and asked to borrow our ears was weird.
 
2014-01-10 09:28:40 PM
"Never trust a junkie as Savoir-Faire is everywhere!"

- Shia Laboeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:35:01 PM

digitalrain: Ain't no thang but a chicken wing (wang?)
-Shia LaBoeuf




How in hell are you going to recognize a legitimate holy man when you see one if you don't even know a cup of consecrated chicken soup when it's right in front of your nose?

- Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:36:03 PM

Mad_Radhu: "If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

- Shia LeBouf


That should be signed 'Shia LePouf'.

But whatever.  :-)
 
2014-01-10 09:37:04 PM
"The horror!  The horror!"

- Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:39:42 PM

Ishkur: Holy crap.

Shia LeBeouf must be the most quotable motherfarker in human history. It's so sad that he's retiring.


"No one wants advice, only corroboration"

- Shia LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:46:43 PM
"I fooled you, I fooled you. I got pig iron. I got pig iron. I got all pig iron."

-- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 09:48:38 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: I suspect he's just trolling everyone now.


I think he's taking career advice from Joaquin Phoenix. How's that working out for you, Joaquin?

"You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. "

--Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 09:48:44 PM
That was the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling disjointed apology did I hear anything even remotely approaching a rationale thought. Everone in this thread is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.
Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 10:06:35 PM
"Hey Peter!  I can see your house from here!"

Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 10:07:16 PM

cryinoutloud: FuryOfFirestorm: I suspect he's just trolling everyone now.

I think he's taking career advice from Joaquin Phoenix. How's that working out for you, Joaquin?



He was nominated for an Oscar last year for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master and is expected to be nominated again for his highly-acclaimed performance in Spike Jonze's Her.
 
2014-01-10 10:08:31 PM

gunga galunga: He was nominated for an Oscar last year for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master and is expected to be nominated again for his highly-acclaimed performance in Spike Jonze's Her.


I know; I just don't like him after his little "I've gone crazy" stunt.
 
2014-01-10 10:21:13 PM
"You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little farked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to farkin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? "

- Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-10 10:38:52 PM
"Arbeit macht Frei."

-Shia DasBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 10:43:17 PM
"In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit"

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 10:45:21 PM
"It ain't the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I'm smart! Not like everybody says... like dumb... I'm smart and I want respect!"

Shyeah Labeououf
 
2014-01-10 10:50:12 PM

cryinoutloud: gunga galunga: He was nominated for an Oscar last year for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master and is expected to be nominated again for his highly-acclaimed performance in Spike Jonze's Her.

I know; I just don't like him after his little "I've gone crazy" stunt.


That was performance art!  Philistine!

/cannot stand people justifying stupidity as "performance art."
 
2014-01-10 11:03:24 PM
DULCE ET DECORUM EST

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, 
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge, 
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs 
And towards our distant rest began to trudge. 
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots 
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind; 
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! - An ecstasy of fumbling, 
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time; 
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling, 
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . . 
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light, 
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning. 
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight, 
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning. 
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace 
Behind the wagon that we flung him in, 
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, 
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin; 
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood 
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, 
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues, 
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory, 
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est 
Pro patria mori.
--  Wilfred Owen Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 11:04:31 PM
I read books and draw life from the eye.  All my life is drawings from the eye.
   -- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 11:04:31 PM
"biatch set me up."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 11:08:02 PM
"Get to the chopah!"

-Shia BeefCurtains
 
2014-01-10 11:21:23 PM
"Excuse me for imposing. But I am the ocean."

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-10 11:37:53 PM
"Mama, I want hot dogs for dinner. Mama, I want hot dogs!"

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 11:50:31 PM
"In this moment I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing, but because I am enlightened by my own intelligence."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-10 11:59:54 PM
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:07:06 AM
I think being known as "'Transformers' star Shia LaBouef" is punishment enough.
 
2014-01-11 12:08:07 AM

cryinoutloud: gunga galunga: He was nominated for an Oscar last year for Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master and is expected to be nominated again for his highly-acclaimed performance in Spike Jonze's Her.

I know; I just don't like him after his little "I've gone crazy" stunt.


I'm waiting for him to stop doing weird movies. I loved to hate him in Gladiator, thought he was great in Quills, and he
absolutely blew my mind in The Man In Black.
 
2014-01-11 12:11:01 AM
"Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:12:14 AM
Biscuits and mustard...mmmm hmmmmm...

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:17:18 AM
He'll be back. And I will be there to mock him when he returns.
 
2014-01-11 12:18:16 AM
"Father! Father, the sleeper has awakened!"

--Shia "Muad'Dib" LaBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 12:19:45 AM

Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!
- Shia 'The Boof' La Boof

 
2014-01-11 12:34:28 AM
Babs, Babs. Why isn't the eggman here? l'm starving to death for some eggs. Please,Babs, come in and give me some eggs!

-Shia Lebeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:38:29 AM
"Would you fark me? I'd fark me. I'd fark me hard. I'd fark me so hard."

- Shia "Buffalo Bill" Lebeof
 
2014-01-11 12:40:48 AM
"Heineken!? fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

-- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:58:46 AM

Weatherkiss: "Heineken!? fark that shiat! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

-- Shia LeBeouf


+1
 
2014-01-11 01:03:15 AM
All your base are belong to us!

-Shia LeBouf
 
2014-01-11 01:07:22 AM
Trogdor was a man. I mean, he was a dragon man. Or maybe he was just a dragon.

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 01:23:30 AM
I think therefore i am.

- Shia Le Boeuf with mushrooms and a nice red wine sauce
 
2014-01-11 01:24:58 AM
"I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf
 
2014-01-11 01:30:01 AM
"There is no Shia!  Only Zuul!"

~ Zuul Laboeuf
 
2014-01-11 01:33:17 AM

DrunkenGator: "I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf


Why you dragging me into this?
 
2014-01-11 01:43:29 AM
Dear Sir, I am glad to hear that your studio audience disapproves of the last skit as strongly as I. As a naval officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs?

Yours etc. Captain S.L. Beef in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
 
2014-01-11 02:10:53 AM
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

-Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-11 02:37:30 AM
"Well, see... At Bible Camp, we made a flow chart. Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal! "
-Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-11 03:18:56 AM
"I rip it hardcore like porno flick biatches. I roll with groups of ghetto bastards with biscuits."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 04:33:35 AM
"You can't process me with a normal brain."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 04:45:00 AM
"The Durango '95 purred away a real horrowshow - a nice, warm vibraty feeling all through your guttiwuts. And soon it was trees and dark, my brothers, with real country dark."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 05:07:21 AM
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses. "

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 05:48:59 AM
"The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 07:04:40 AM
"My God - it's full of stars!"

Shia Labia-oof

/much like this entire thread
 
2014-01-11 07:07:24 AM
"I'm as cold a motherfarker as you've ever put your farking eyes on. I don't give a shiat about those people."

--Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 08:44:41 AM
"I just want to tell you good luck, we're all counting on you."

-Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 09:01:23 AM
...And there was much rejoicing.
 
2014-01-11 09:58:36 AM
"Business bad? fark you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? fark you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? fark you, pay me."

--Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 10:15:59 AM
'During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.'

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 10:31:27 AM
Rick Moranis did it better.
 
2014-01-11 10:50:21 AM
'E=mc2'

- Shia LeBoeuf
 
2014-01-11 10:53:51 AM

digitalrain: I'm waiting for him to stop doing weird movies. I loved to hate him in Gladiator, thought he was great in Quills, and he
absolutely blew my mind in The Man In Black.


Me too. I was quite a fan for a while. He gave me the chills in Gladiator. Then he pulled that stunt. I have no patience for that Andy Kaufman B.S.
 
2014-01-11 11:04:19 AM
"It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.  So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great."

-Shia Labeouf
 
2014-01-11 11:35:07 AM

italie: Rick Moranis did it better.


Yes, have some
 
2014-01-11 11:52:06 AM
"Yes, women may have equal rights."

-Sharia law goof
 
2014-01-11 11:54:12 AM
And in the end the love you take
Is equal to the love you make

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:03:19 PM
"And this one time at band camp...."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 12:18:43 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-11 12:43:27 PM

Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 415x275]


i cant stop giggling at that.
 
2014-01-11 03:00:53 PM

SnakeMan: DrunkenGator: "I trusted you before, Snakeman! Before My Gods I trust you once again! Bury me Snakeman! Bury me Alive! BURY MEEEE!"   -  The Shialtimate LaBeouf

Why you dragging me into this?


I really didn't mean to. I just trusted you'd understand.  My mistake, I know.

But to continue the theme:
"I'm pissed off now, Shia. Look, I go to you. I stick up for you. You don't help me now. I say "Fark you," Shia, I do it myself.  " - Shia LaBeouf
 
2014-01-11 04:04:14 PM
"Oh, this is the big one! You hear that, Elizabeth?! I'm coming to join you, honey!"

- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-11 08:42:07 PM
When you grow up, your heart dies.
- Shia LeBeouf
 
2014-01-12 02:30:25 AM
Pompous twat.
 
2014-01-12 03:18:42 AM
"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

-Shia LeBeouf
 
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