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(Gawker)   Stodgy ASU rules keep college president from getting any nookie on her home turf   (gawker.com ) divider line 62
    More: Stupid, Alabama State University, Arizona State University, establishments  
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10631 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2014 at 12:48 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-10 11:56:22 AM  
It's not THAT ASU... or that one... or that one..... I hadn't even heard of that one, but it's not that either....

In any case, this will soon be a thread of hot Arizona State chicks, won't it?
 
2014-01-10 12:00:19 PM  
She can't cohabitate, so she can't live in "sin." Doesn't say anything about not being able to bring home some strange for a night.
 
2014-01-10 12:20:59 PM  
"For so long as Dr. Boyd is President and a single person, she shall not be allowed to cohabitate in the President's residence with any person with whom she has a romantic relation."

Trust me baby, there's not going to be any romance.
 
2014-01-10 12:34:52 PM  

naughtyrev: She can't cohabitate, so she can't live in "sin." Doesn't say anything about not being able to bring home some strange for a night.


Agree. Gawker reporter and subby sound...young.  "Cohabitate" in this instance is not a euphemism for booty call, it means living together in the same house.  If she wants to live with someone, she has to do it in another house or get married.
 
2014-01-10 12:38:47 PM  
ASS-U?
 
2014-01-10 12:52:41 PM  
I'm also assuming they had a similar clause for male presidents.

Also, this restriction covers roommates, so you can't have your brother/cousin/whatever move in permanently.
 
2014-01-10 12:53:16 PM  

haemaker: naughtyrev: She can't cohabitate, so she can't live in "sin." Doesn't say anything about not being able to bring home some strange for a night.

Agree. Gawker reporter and subby sound...young.  "Cohabitate" in this instance is not a euphemism for booty call, it means living together in the same house.  If she wants to live with someone, she has to do it in another house or get married.


This.
She can't shack up.  She can do the nasty all she wants, but the dude (or dudette) has to go home in the morning.
 
2014-01-10 12:53:48 PM  
Actually the contract stipulates she can ONLY have booty calls.   Not a bad deal really.
 
2014-01-10 12:56:09 PM  
I'd cohabitate her so hard she'd forget her own name.

i.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-01-10 12:56:24 PM  
www.afro.com
 
2014-01-10 12:57:33 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the contract stipulates she can ONLY have booty calls.   Not a bad deal really.



Exactly. They don't want her to bring in a trashy, live-in boyfriend that jacks up the cable bill and gets free rent.

But then again, don't expect anyone at Gawker to know, or care, what big words like "cohabitation" actually mean,
 
2014-01-10 12:57:47 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the contract stipulates she can ONLY have booty calls.   Not a bad deal really.


That's how I interpret it.  No romance = A-OK.
 
2014-01-10 12:57:52 PM  
Yeah, this actually encourages "booty calls"; it just means that if she takes a boyfriend or girlfriend, s/he can't live in the president's house with her.

There's actually a similar legal covenant on Gracie mansion in NYC: only the mayor and his family can live there.  As Bloomberg wasn't married to his long-time girlfriend, he chose to reside at his townhouse.  And when Ruby and his wife split, she stayed at Gracie and Rudy moved out, so he could move in with his girlfriend!
 
2014-01-10 12:58:20 PM  

Why Don't We Do It In The Road?

 
2014-01-10 12:58:33 PM  
Further down in the contract, it actually requires her to engage in foreplay every night but not be able to succumb to a satisfying release.

What kind of weird torture is going on there?
 
2014-01-10 12:59:32 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: I'm also assuming they had a similar clause for male presidents.

Also, this restriction covers roommates, so you can't have your brother/cousin/whatever move in permanently.


It specifically states her immediately family is allowed to live with her
 
2014-01-10 12:59:53 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: I'm also assuming they had a similar clause for male presidents.

Also, this restriction covers roommates, so you can't have your brother/cousin/whatever move in permanently.


Look at section 5.5.  Members of her immediate family can live with her.
 
2014-01-10 01:00:22 PM  
It just says that the sig-oth can't cohabitate. Not sure how they can prove booty calls unless s/he sleeps over.
 
2014-01-10 01:00:39 PM  
Rule 5.4 says she can't shack up in the house. But rule 5.5 says she can have family members living with her.

So if she's boinking her brother, which rule does she follow??
 
2014-01-10 01:03:05 PM  

haemaker: If she wants to live with someone, she has to do it in another house or get married.


Nope. She's required to live in the house. So if she wants to live with someone not in her immediate family, she needs to get married.
 
2014-01-10 01:05:09 PM  

sunderland56: Rule 5.4 says she can't shack up in the house. But rule 5.5 says she can have family members living with her.

So if she's boinking her brother, which rule does she follow??


Don't laugh, it is Alabama after all.
 
2014-01-10 01:05:23 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: It just says that the sig-oth can't cohabitate. Not sure how they can prove booty calls unless s/he sleeps over.


That's why you keep a copy of the contract in the night stand.  "Sorry baby, you're going to have to leave...it's in the contract.  I'll TOTALLY call you though."
 
2014-01-10 01:05:57 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually the contract stipulates she can ONLY have booty calls.   Not a bad deal really.


"Thanks for the sex, but I'm contractually obligated to kick you out now."

That sounds AWESOME.
 
2014-01-10 01:09:39 PM  
300k and free housing? Sign me the fark up. We can just bang at her place.
 
2014-01-10 01:13:50 PM  
Related story:
'The U.S.'s higher education system has yet again produced a 'writer' lacking the ability to understand difficult words like 'cohabitate'...therefore defaulting to the belief that it means 'booty callz,'. When pressed on the issue regarding the grammatical misunderstanding, the author simply wrote 'YOLO' on a picture of the omnipresent internet sensation 'Grumpy Cat' and screamed "Jour-na-lism...I haz it, beotches!""

Look out Edgar R. Murrow...
 
2014-01-10 01:14:26 PM  

Wellon Dowd: I'd cohabitate her so hard she'd forget her own name.

[i.cdn.turner.com image 444x680]


Wrong pic. This is her

www.thehistorymakers.com

All yours
 
2014-01-10 01:17:50 PM  

naughtyrev: She can't cohabitate, so she can't live in "sin." Doesn't say anything about not being able to bring home some strange for a night.


Sigh.  This.  Reading comprehension has really taken a beating these last few years.
 
2014-01-10 01:22:51 PM  
*looks at pic*

They're worrying about nothing.
 
2014-01-10 01:23:39 PM  
"And here's you new home, Dr. Boyd, we hope you like it."
"Uh, why does the name on the mail box say 'GWENOLYN BOY'? There's no 'D' in there."
"Yes, and that's exactly how we'd like to keep it."
 
2014-01-10 01:27:47 PM  

Sybarite: "For so long as Dr. Boyd is President and a single person, she shall not be allowed to cohabitate in the President's residence with any person with whom she has a romantic relation."

Trust me baby, there's not going to be any romance.


Apparently, she can kiss them during sex, or they can sleep over afterward.

But not both.

I always wonder what makes them make these rules in the first place.
 
2014-01-10 01:29:21 PM  
I assume that much of these rules pertain to taxes and insurance.   If the residence is being provided free of charge and for a univ president probably parts are tax free there are probably a lot of tax implications.
 
2014-01-10 01:29:28 PM  
If this means your romantic partner has to be out by sun-up I wish my lease read the same.
 
2014-01-10 01:33:27 PM  
Do not think this will be an issue

www.commerce.gov
 
2014-01-10 01:35:33 PM  
Any booty is therefore contractually bound to conduct a walk of shame.  Probably should be documented in some way too, to verify that she isn't breaking the contract....
 
2014-01-10 01:39:25 PM  
If she wants to have sex, she'll have to use the dorms and the classrooms like everybody else there
 
2014-01-10 01:45:07 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: It specifically states her immediately family is allowed to live with her


flondrix: Look at section 5.5. Members of her immediate family can live with her.


But is she allowed to sleep with them, though?
 
2014-01-10 01:45:49 PM  
My favorite ASU student...

s-ak.buzzfed.com
 
2014-01-10 01:47:48 PM  

Donnchadha: this will soon be a thread of hot Arizona State chicks, won't it?


Mrs_Fabulous was a hot Arizona State chick, back in the day. Now she's, er, a well-kept and respectable-looking middle-aged ASU alumna.

/who i'm still banging like a tom-tom
//just not as often
 
2014-01-10 01:52:46 PM  
Booty calls are OK. She just can't have her baloney pony live with her.
 
2014-01-10 01:59:44 PM  
IANAL, but don't Arizona's Right-to-Work provisions make contracts like this null and void?  I had a friend who negotiated an employment contract (in a different right-to-work state), but was unsuccessful because the hiring company's attorney and every attorney he contacted said that it wasn't worth the effort to have such a contract due to most provisions being unenforceable.  This was quite a long time ago, so things might have changed.
 
2014-01-10 02:03:25 PM  

bagumpity: IANAL, but don't Arizona's Right-to-Work provisions make contracts like this null and void?  I had a friend who negotiated an employment contract (in a different right-to-work state), but was unsuccessful because the hiring company's attorney and every attorney he contacted said that it wasn't worth the effort to have such a contract due to most provisions being unenforceable.  This was quite a long time ago, so things might have changed.


You didn't need to tell us, we can tell you're not a lawyer. Alabama State University does not have to obey Arizona's laws.
 
2014-01-10 02:07:18 PM  
It says she can't cohabitate with anyone with whom she has a romantic interest, which leave the door wide open to one-night stands, it seems to me. And what's cohabitate mean in this context anyway? If it's having the other person move in, then overnighters even with romantic interests would seem to be just fine.
 
2014-01-10 02:11:28 PM  
I'm just surprised they didn't also include a "members of the opposite sex only, for this romantic, non-cohabitative relationship".

// progress!
 
2014-01-10 02:12:07 PM  

JohnCarter: Do not think this will be an issue



Why not? Everyone likes to go out and get pooched every now and then. Including accomplished Black women.
 
2014-01-10 02:13:09 PM  

bagumpity: IANAL, but don't Arizona's Right-to-Work provisions make contracts like this null and void?  I had a friend who negotiated an employment contract (in a different right-to-work state), but was unsuccessful because the hiring company's attorney and every attorney he contacted said that it wasn't worth the effort to have such a contract due to most provisions being unenforceable.  This was quite a long time ago, so things might have changed.


I'm more thinking of this in terms of a lease between a tenant and a landlord.  She can live in her own home in sin all she wants, but if she lives in the university supplied building they can set the terms of who can live there under what circumstances.

I imagine there's also some legal liability issues if someone with no blood relation to the employee is living there full time.
 
2014-01-10 02:40:29 PM  
Alabama State U, what can I say.  25% of its student body has Math-English SATs BELOW 730.  That's total.   http://collegeapps.about.com/od/sat/a/alabama-sat-scores.htm
 
2014-01-10 03:25:35 PM  

Dr Dreidel: I'm just surprised they didn't also include a "members of the opposite sex only, for this romantic, non-cohabitative relationship".

// progress!


Well gay marriage isn't legal in Alabama, and she isn't allowed to cohabitate with an unmarried partner...
 
2014-01-10 03:30:53 PM  

muddythinker: Alabama State U, what can I say.  25% of its student body has Math-English SATs BELOW 730.  That's total.   http://collegeapps.about.com/od/sat/a/alabama-sat-scores.htm


It's an HBCU. Most of them have average test scores, graduation rates, and employment placement figures near the bottom of the spectrum. Then again, their mission is to provide educational opportunities primarily for disadvantaged minority students. The typical enrollment includes a lot of 2nd and 3rd chancers who might have had to drop out of more traditional schools due to financial concerns, or adults who never went to college in the first place.
 
2014-01-10 03:51:25 PM  

Satanic_Hamster: bagumpity: IANAL, but don't Arizona's Right-to-Work provisions make contracts like this null and void?  I had a friend who negotiated an employment contract (in a different right-to-work state), but was unsuccessful because the hiring company's attorney and every attorney he contacted said that it wasn't worth the effort to have such a contract due to most provisions being unenforceable.  This was quite a long time ago, so things might have changed.

I'm more thinking of this in terms of a lease between a tenant and a landlord.  She can live in her own home in sin all she wants, but if she lives in the university supplied building they can set the terms of who can live there under what circumstances.

I imagine there's also some legal liability issues if someone with no blood relation to the employee is living there full time.


I'm thinking liability is probably the big thing here.  They've probably got an insurance policy covering her and the home should something happen or she cause an accident, but if she's got a live-in boyfriend, he wouldn't be covered and any damage he causes could potentially leave the institution liable.
 
2014-01-10 04:06:36 PM  

SirEattonHogg: My favorite ASU student...

[s-ak.buzzfed.com image 506x413]


Yup.........checking in to make sure this was covered.
 
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