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(Standard Digital (Kenya))   Let him who has not celebrated the new year by having "carnal knowledge of a donkey" cast the first stone   (standardmedia.co.ke) divider line 88
    More: Sick, orderly  
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4224 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2014 at 10:21 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-01-10 08:17:06 AM  
Everyone likes to ring in the new year with a piece of ass.
 
2014-01-10 08:29:19 AM  
So I guess he was... burroed in
 
2014-01-10 08:45:33 AM  
Can't.  I already got my rocks off.
 
2014-01-10 08:51:15 AM  
♫ Jenny, jenny, who can I turn to?... ♫
 
2014-01-10 08:53:56 AM  
the accused was caught red handed committing the act in Karate village in Naivasha. Irate members of the public set on him with all manner of weapons

Nunchucks, sai, tonfas, you name it.
 
2014-01-10 09:06:10 AM  
"But do they call me 'Seamus the Bridge Builder'? No."
 
2014-01-10 09:20:57 AM  
*casts stone*
 
2014-01-10 09:45:47 AM  
jeff-fischer.net
 
2014-01-10 10:26:13 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-01-10 10:27:26 AM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-01-10 10:27:54 AM  
you better run for cover
 
2014-01-10 10:28:27 AM  
On New Year's? No.
 
2014-01-10 10:29:32 AM  
The donkey stood by quietly in the courtroom as the charges were read.
 
2014-01-10 10:31:09 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "But do they call me 'Seamus the Bridge Builder'? No."


"You f*ck one donkey..."
 
2014-01-10 10:31:21 AM  

grokca: Everyone likes to ring in the new year with a piece of ass.


www.skycultureclothing.com
 
2014-01-10 10:31:50 AM  
but did he talk to the donkey in Shrek's voice?
 
2014-01-10 10:34:59 AM  
www.iconsoffright.com
 
2014-01-10 10:35:44 AM  
Oh no, I hope Dominick is OK...
 
2014-01-10 10:40:18 AM  
Somebody gonna kiss f*ck the donkey!

s.mcstatic.com
 
2014-01-10 10:40:46 AM  
In some countries, when bestiality is proven, they make you marry the animal.

In others, they just fine you for damages to your neighbor's property.

I suspect that if bestiality weren't a sex crime in the English-speaking world, they would charge you with animal cruelty and the punishment would sometimes be worse than rape or murder of a human. Apparently it is not a crime at all in some places. Fark's favorite state is one of them. I suspect this is because it is impractical to have sex with an alligator or a Burmese python.

http://news.yahoo.com/bestiality-crimes-america-233736760.html

Patrick Louis Linn was arrested after trespassing in his neighbor's barn while attempting to have sex with a horse. According to the Examiner Linn plead not guilty stating that the horse reminded him of the actress Sarah Jessica Parker. Initial concerns that Linn was not competent to stand trial surfaced, but the Gadsden County Court ruled the criminal trail could proceed. Due to Florida's lack of bestiality laws, Linn could only be charged with trespassing and burglary.
 
2014-01-10 10:41:56 AM  
That sucks donkey balls.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-10 10:41:58 AM  

brantgoose: In some countries, when bestiality is proven, they make you marry the animal.


See! The FRC said this would happen...
 
2014-01-10 10:42:27 AM  
"He's gonna cornhole that ass......With his wiener..."

 - Jay (Clerks 2)


 One of my favorite lines...
 
2014-01-10 10:43:26 AM  
I hope there aren't any offspring. We don't need another honkey running around.
 
2014-01-10 10:43:42 AM  
*picks up stone*

*remembers that New Year's eve in '94*

*slowly puts stone back down*

Good times...
 
2014-01-10 10:45:02 AM  

Snarfangel: I hope there aren't any offspring. We don't need another honkey running around.


ha
 
2014-01-10 10:45:30 AM  

brantgoose: In some countries, when bestiality is proven, they make you marry the animal.


In some countries they force you to gay marry?!?

/ not serious
 
2014-01-10 10:45:47 AM  
I think I found our donkey:

i43.tinypic.com
 
2014-01-10 10:49:41 AM  
"The magistrate released him on bond of Sh30,000 and a surety of the same or a cash bail of Sh15,000."

is that excessive?
 
2014-01-10 10:49:43 AM  
Wouldn't the proper subjunctive be "Let he who has not celebrated the new year by having 'carnal knowledge of a donkey' cast the first stone"?
 
2014-01-10 10:51:47 AM  
I always thought it was "let HE..."

On either count, this headline is sexist.  Everyone knows New Year's donkey shows involve a male donkey and a woman with problems.
 
2014-01-10 10:53:30 AM  
That's gross, but I'm not sure what prosecuting him is supposed to accomplish.

/let's just try not to think about it
 
2014-01-10 10:53:44 AM  

brantgoose: In some countries, when bestiality is proven, they make you marry the animal.

In others, they just fine you for damages to your neighbor's property.

I suspect that if bestiality weren't a sex crime in the English-speaking world, they would charge you with animal cruelty and the punishment would sometimes be worse than rape or murder of a human. Apparently it is not a crime at all in some places. Fark's favorite state is one of them. I suspect this is because it is impractical to have sex with an alligator or a Burmese python.

http://news.yahoo.com/bestiality-crimes-america-233736760.html

Patrick Louis Linn was arrested after trespassing in his neighbor's barn while attempting to have sex with a horse. According to the Examiner  Linn plead not guilty stating that the horse reminded him of the actress Sarah Jessica Parker. Initial concerns that Linn was not competent to stand trial surfaced, but the Gadsden County Court ruled the criminal trail could proceed. Due to Florida's lack of bestiality laws, Linn could only be charged with trespassing and burglary.


[snerk] I thought you added this as a joke, but I see he actually said that.


i0.kym-cdn.com

If you're going down anyway, might as well do it with a sense of humor.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-10 10:53:49 AM  

Hal5423: Wouldn't the proper subjunctive be "Let he who has not celebrated the new year by having 'carnal knowledge of a donkey' cast the first stone"?


um.. there was one illegal film I saw in college, and it it was *definitely* a female human with a male donkey.
 
2014-01-10 10:55:15 AM  
Maybe the guy just wanted some homemade Guy Fieri fare
 
2014-01-10 10:56:06 AM  
No donkey punch jokes?

I am disappoint.
 
2014-01-10 10:56:59 AM  
global3.memecdn.com

C'mon, he is a Democrat after all...
 
2014-01-10 10:58:36 AM  

the_foo: That's gross, but I'm not sure what prosecuting him is supposed to accomplish.

/let's just try not to think about it


Particularly if it was consensual or the donkey was dressed in a way that was asking for it.
 
2014-01-10 10:58:46 AM  

Brick-House: C'mon, he is a Democrat after all...


And from Kenya, no less
 
2014-01-10 10:59:59 AM  
I'm sure Pat Robertson will point this out as a result of same sex marriage.
 
2014-01-10 11:03:24 AM  
Nice ass.
 
2014-01-10 11:04:57 AM  

brantgoose: Due to Florida's lack of bestiality laws, Linn could only be charged with trespassing and burglary.


Surely the Florida Tourism office needs to decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Oh, Kenya? Somehow it sounded just like Florida.
 
2014-01-10 11:06:11 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Brick-House: C'mon, he is a Democrat after all...

And from Kenya, no less


As long as the donkey came into the country legally, I really don't care where it's from.
 
2014-01-10 11:10:02 AM  

bearded clamorer: ♫ Jenny, jenny, who can I turn to?... ♫



You give me somethin' I can hold on to
I know you think I'm like others before
Who saw your grain and bridle in the stall...
 
2014-01-10 11:11:26 AM  
What a sweet ass donkey.
 
2014-01-10 11:11:49 AM  
When I clicked on the link this was the ad that showed up in the middle of the article .

pagead2.googlesyndication.com

My first thought was, "Is this the donkey in question?"

If it is, this guy is really sick...
 
2014-01-10 11:12:41 AM  
I haven't watched in a while. Were there any recent contestants of "Hell's Kitchen" who were hittable?
 
2014-01-10 11:12:50 AM  

Huntceet: I'm sure Pat Robertson will point this out as a result of same sex marriage.


Here you go.
Cat
Dog
Dolphin
Horse

And don't you dare judge them.
 
2014-01-10 11:13:08 AM  
On the premises?
 
2014-01-10 11:15:34 AM  

brantgoose: In some countries, when bestiality is proven, they make you marry the animal.

In others, they just fine you for damages to your neighbor's property.



In Columbia, it's not a big deal. It's as natural as breathing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VKWLC87Uzw

I'm absolutely warning you - the documentary includes footage (somewhat obscured by bushes, but still...) of this dude farking a donkey like it's the most fun past-time ever and wonders why you've never farked a donkey, you rich western bastard donkey farking virgin.
 
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