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(Yahoo)   10 Steak. 9 Steak. 8 Steak. 7 Steak. 6 Steak. 5 Steak. 4 Steak. 3 Steak. 2 Steak. 1 Steak   (shine.yahoo.com) divider line 62
    More: Obvious, betacarotenes, resveratrol, vitamin A, folic acid, green beans, eating dogs, cantaloupes  
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10217 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2014 at 6:04 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-09 11:02:11 PM  
Hmmm...what were Karen Carpenter's last ten words?

grubstreet.ca
 
2014-01-09 11:05:14 PM  
Feed your dog by that list and you WILL be able to blame those noxious farts on the dog

/not that you won't get blamed anyway
 
2014-01-09 11:18:20 PM  
dog like typing detected
 
2014-01-09 11:21:45 PM  
That's 55 Steak!
 
2014-01-10 12:01:20 AM  
One of my dogs favorite meals is chicken bones and chocolate.
 
2014-01-10 12:17:45 AM  
So I had a couple of those Omaha Steaks in those vacuum sealed bags in my fridge on the bottom shelf. Somehow I left the door open a bit before I went to bed.

My five pound cat managed to get the door open, drag out the steaks, chew through the wrappers, and ate both of the steaks raw.

She was a very happy yet sleepy kitty all day.
 
2014-01-10 12:21:37 AM  

jaylectricity: So I had a couple of those Omaha Steaks in those vacuum sealed bags in my fridge on the bottom shelf. Somehow I left the door open a bit before I went to bed.

My five pound cat managed to get the door open, drag out the steaks, chew through the wrappers, and ate both of the steaks raw.

She was a very happy yet sleepy kitty all day.


I have one like that

/I swear that cat would eat a truck tire if it smelled like any kind of food
//no leftovers, either
 
2014-01-10 12:37:21 AM  
The difference between dogs and wolves?  Dogs eat carbohydrates.
 
2014-01-10 12:59:24 AM  

Sgygus: The difference between dogs and wolves?  Dogs eat carbohydrates.


I love carbs, but I can't eat them or else I'll get faaattt.

th02.deviantart.net
 
2014-01-10 01:01:06 AM  
Faaattt

img.fark.net
 
2014-01-10 02:51:44 AM  
The number of years that annoying meme has been on fark?
 
2014-01-10 06:09:15 AM  
" powerful antioxidants  "

Sheesh. Idiocy alert...

Anti-oxidants don't work that way you bib-wearing nutjobs....
 
2014-01-10 06:09:40 AM  
1 steak, 2 steak, red steak, blue steak.
 
2014-01-10 06:11:47 AM  
If I put any of that in a bowl for my old dog (RIP) I would come back 30 minutes later to find none of it touched.  I could dump a bowl of gravy, steak, chicken, and broccoli into her bowl (just making up an example) and come back to find nothing but broccoli sitting there.
 
2014-01-10 06:14:58 AM  
My neighbor's dog used to beg for broccoli. I mean, I really like broccoli, but this fella would *beg* for it. Weird farking dog.
 
2014-01-10 06:20:28 AM  

unyon: One of my dogs favorite meals is chicken bones and chocolate.


See, people, I hope you're taking notes here, because this, THIS, is how you internet.
 
2014-01-10 06:37:04 AM  
Its about dogs, right? (Checks article). Yep
 
2014-01-10 06:37:16 AM  
Pumpkin. Oh. God. Mine looove pumpkin. The cat will stick his whole head in the can to get at some. Painless way to give out pills, BTW--they're so busy getting the pumpkin off the spoon they never notice the pill.
 
2014-01-10 06:44:33 AM  
wealsoran.com
 
2014-01-10 06:47:31 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: /I swear that cat would eat a truck tire if it smelled like any kind of food


So, Oreos, basically?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2014-01-10 06:48:30 AM  
l1.yimg.com

.oO "Where is my bacon, you sanctimonious prick??"
 
2014-01-10 06:53:09 AM  
My soon-to-be 3 year old miniature schnauzer will eat raw veggies including green beans, broccoli, carots, tomatoes, cauliflower, leaf lettuce (has to be crisp) spinach and corn. I have to watch giving him too much corn, because it comes out just as it goes in. He also eats fresh (not canned) mandarin oranges and fried apples. he doesn't care for raw apples. If you give him any of this with meat he will eat the meat first, and then what's left.
 
2014-01-10 07:13:06 AM  

dolphkhan: unyon: One of my dogs favorite meals is chicken bones and chocolate.

See, people, I hope you're taking notes here, because this, THIS, is how you internet.


-50 points for not including grapes....
 
2014-01-10 07:16:33 AM  
My last Golden really, really loved cantaloupe. He usually wasn't bad about begging for human people food but when I started slicing a cantaloupe he always wanted to stand between me and the counter.

When I was a kid we had an outside dog who regularly got all of the leftovers and scraps after dinner that mom deemed not worth keeping.  Everything just went into one bowl that was given to the dog.  I would often come back later to find a cleanly posished bowl with the exception of one or two tomato slices that had been licked clean of any other tasty substance but not eaten.
 
2014-01-10 07:28:33 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: dolphkhan: unyon: One of my dogs favorite meals is chicken bones and chocolate.

See, people, I hope you're taking notes here, because this, THIS, is how you internet.

-50 points for not including grapes....


would have been too subtle. I think he nailed it. We'll mark you as a 3.5 from the obviously bribed French judge.
 
2014-01-10 07:33:15 AM  
But sure, keep on feeding them the same corn- or otherwise grain-based extruded kibbles their entire lives. Don't change brands, don't switch animal protein sources, don't feed them human food evar. When they come down with "food allergies," here's a $100 bag of rabbit/kangaroo/beaver/deer/feather kibble that they must eat for the rest of their lives, and they can only eat that, nothing else OR ELSE.
 
2014-01-10 07:34:55 AM  
My dog just seems to want to eat paper towel and frozen turds.
 
2014-01-10 07:42:09 AM  

TheOnion: dog like typing detected


If a dog typed that, cat poop would definitely have made it in there somewhere.
 
2014-01-10 07:48:01 AM  

TwiztidDream: But sure, keep on feeding them the same corn- or otherwise grain-based extruded kibbles their entire lives. Don't change brands, don't switch animal protein sources, don't feed them human food evar. When they come down with "food allergies," here's a $100 bag of rabbit/kangaroo/beaver/deer/feather kibble that they must eat for the rest of their lives, and they can only eat that, nothing else OR ELSE.


we feed ours blue buffalo, switching up between turkey & potato or salmon or chicken every so often.  it's grain-free. no corn, wheat or other grains. my black lab loves everything under the sun, even raw onion and peppers, but deviating from the blue buffalo will result in ass-fountain.  not pretty.  my AmStaff puppy (18months) loves to eat the pears in the back yard... same result.  uncontrollable shiatstorms.

sensitive stomachs, require delicate diets.
 
2014-01-10 07:53:51 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Feed your dog by that list and you WILL be able to blame those noxious farts on the dog

/not that you won't get blamed anyway


THIS.  You might think the dog would suffer while emitting one of these room clearers but, I swear, my Westies will just lie with the most blissful looks on their face as if to say, "that will teach you to feed me that crap."
 
2014-01-10 07:54:24 AM  

jaylectricity: So I had a couple of those Omaha Steaks in those vacuum sealed bags in my fridge on the bottom shelf. Somehow I left the door open a bit before I went to bed.

My five pound cat managed to get the door open, drag out the steaks, chew through the wrappers, and ate both of the steaks raw.

She was a very happy yet sleepy kitty all day.


I can relate.  Remember those small towels with a hangar kind of thing that folks would have hanging around their kitchen to wipe their hands on?  Yeah, my ex had one of those hanging from the refrigerator handle.  Had a gorgeous beef tenderloin in the refrigerator for a dinner party where the main course was going to be Filet of Beef Wellington.  Came home from work to find it missing.  I looked around and found the butcher paper chewed up, wadded, and stuffed under the kickspace of a corner of the cupboards.  On the other end of the kitchen lay my Airedale Terrier, completely sated and nearly comatose with what could only be described as a shiat-eating grin under his mustache.

I threw out all of those hanging towel things.

The worst part is that you can't be mad at the pet.  They only  used the available resources to acquire what they felt they needed.
 
2014-01-10 07:54:46 AM  

Sad King Billy: My last Golden really, really loved cantaloupe. He usually wasn't bad about begging for human people food but when I started slicing a cantaloupe he always wanted to stand between me and the counter.

When I was a kid we had an outside dog who regularly got all of the leftovers and scraps after dinner that mom deemed not worth keeping.  Everything just went into one bowl that was given to the dog.  I would often come back later to find a cleanly posished bowl with the exception of one or two tomato slices that had been licked clean of any other tasty substance but not eaten.


This. Our farm dogs ate everything, but that was in the 70s before table scraps were bad for them.

They ate whole apples off of the ground, chicken bones, small amounts of chocolate, and virtually everything else people freak out about.
 
2014-01-10 08:00:43 AM  

Sybarite: cat poop would definitely have made it in there somewhere.


Cat poop is, indeed, a much sought after delicacy.
 
2014-01-10 08:01:12 AM  

Mirandized: My soon-to-be 3 year old miniature schnauzer will eat raw veggies including green beans, broccoli, carots, tomatoes, cauliflower, leaf lettuce (has to be crisp) spinach and corn. I have to watch giving him too much corn, because it comes out just as it goes in. He also eats fresh (not canned) mandarin oranges and fried apples. he doesn't care for raw apples. If you give him any of this with meat he will eat the meat first, and then what's left.


My three year old miniature schnauzer will not eat broccoli or carrots or (surprisingly) peanut butter.  He loves fruit and will eat green beans.  If I have him a bowl of fruit and broccoli, he will eat all of the fruit and leave the broccoli.

Also, on Tuesday nights, he gets to choose the TV programs we watch:

scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-01-10 08:05:19 AM  
porterhouse and a t bone, with a cigar and scotch

because my dog is an American
 
2014-01-10 08:06:46 AM  
We did some grocery shopping and had left a bag containing a wrapped focaccia bread on the kitchen chair. We had to run out to another appointment, and our Rottweiler found the focaccia and very neatly unwrapped and ate everything except the tomatoes, she had neatly picked the tomatoes off and left those for us.

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. We bought a cheap food dehydrator from Amazon, and Once every couple of weeks we dehydrate slices of nice chewy sweet potatoes. Has to be one of her favorite things in the world. We ask her if she wants spuds...you should see the dog light up.
 
2014-01-10 08:09:30 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: We did some grocery shopping and had left a bag containing a wrapped focaccia bread on the kitchen chair. We had to run out to another appointment, and our Rottweiler found the focaccia and very neatly unwrapped and ate everything except the tomatoes, she had neatly picked the tomatoes off and left those for us.

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. We bought a cheap food dehydrator from Amazon, and Once every couple of weeks we dehydrate slices of nice chewy sweet potatoes. Has to be one of her favorite things in the world. We ask her if she wants spuds...you should see the dog light up.


Love Rotties, but I've never known one to do things neatly.
 
2014-01-10 08:15:00 AM  
DO NOT WANT Poster Girl:

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. We bought a cheap food dehydrator from Amazon, and Once every couple of weeks we dehydrate slices of nice chewy sweet potatoes. Has to be one of her favorite things in the world. We ask her if she wants spuds...you should see the dog light up.

I cannot get my dog to touch sweet potatoes.  I guess he is weird because I talk to people all of the time that say their dogs love them, but it doesn't matter what I do, my dog will not touch them.
 
2014-01-10 08:22:13 AM  

GalFriday: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl:

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. We bought a cheap food dehydrator from Amazon, and Once every couple of weeks we dehydrate slices of nice chewy sweet potatoes. Has to be one of her favorite things in the world. We ask her if she wants spuds...you should see the dog light up.

I cannot get my dog to touch sweet potatoes.  I guess he is weird because I talk to people all of the time that say their dogs love them, but it doesn't matter what I do, my dog will not touch them.


Have you tried offering him raw ones? I tried several different preparations of sweet potatoes before I realized the only way I could stomach them was to eat them raw. They taste similar to carrots.
 
2014-01-10 08:28:53 AM  

Nogale: GalFriday: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl:

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. 

Have you tried offering him raw ones? I tried several different preparations of sweet potatoes before I realized the only way I could stomach them was to eat them raw. They taste similar to carrots.


He hates carrots too.
 
2014-01-10 08:39:43 AM  
What are 'ten things your dog wants', Alex?
 
2014-01-10 08:46:27 AM  
Peanut butter and semen. They just LOVE peanut butter and semen.
 
2014-01-10 08:51:41 AM  

GalFriday: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl:

Our Sheltie Cocker mix, however, will eat anything from orange slices to broccoli. What she really loves however are sweet potato slices. We bought a cheap food dehydrator from Amazon, and Once every couple of weeks we dehydrate slices of nice chewy sweet potatoes. Has to be one of her favorite things in the world. We ask her if she wants spuds...you should see the dog light up.

I cannot get my dog to touch sweet potatoes.  I guess he is weird because I talk to people all of the time that say their dogs love them, but it doesn't matter what I do, my dog will not touch them.


Mine either, and yet he'll eat every other vegetable, including carrots and farking celery (pre-sliced).
 
2014-01-10 08:55:08 AM  
My dog likes blueberries and carrots but I haven't gotten her to eat broccoli.  She took a frozen strawberry and hid it in her blanky and I found it a week later and it was smooshed in there so I had to wash it.
 
2014-01-10 08:55:30 AM  

GDubDub: [wealsoran.com image 400x300]


That's the exact face one of my dogs makes when I try and feed him veggies. The other three will eat anything.
 
2014-01-10 09:07:12 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-01-10 09:08:37 AM  

libranoelrose: porterhouse and a t bone, with a cigar and scotch

because my dog is an American


The rule in my house is that when making a martini, the dog gets an olive.  (or he sulks)


/ He's an 80lb German Shepherd.
// Also goes completely bonkers for oranges.
 
2014-01-10 09:10:26 AM  

styckx: If I put any of that in a bowl for my old dog (RIP) I would come back 30 minutes later to find none of it touched.  I could dump a bowl of gravy, steak, chicken, and broccoli into her bowl (just making up an example) and come back to find nothing but broccoli sitting there.


This. Occasionally I'll be chopping up carrots or cauliflower and something will hit the floor. Gus immediately trots over, sniffs it, pushes it around a bit, and then walks back to wherever he was lying down. Definitely not a veggie-oriented dog.

Little bastard will eat anything else, though.


img.fark.net

 
2014-01-10 09:26:10 AM  

Mirandized: My soon-to-be 3 year old miniature schnauzer will eat raw veggies including green beans, broccoli, carots, tomatoes, cauliflower, leaf lettuce (has to be crisp) spinach and corn. I have to watch giving him too much corn, because it comes out just as it goes in. He also eats fresh (not canned) mandarin oranges and fried apples. he doesn't care for raw apples. If you give him any of this with meat he will eat the meat first, and then what's left.


My miniature schnauzer is the same. Will eat almost any vegetable or fruit given to her.
 
2014-01-10 09:31:47 AM  

GalFriday: Mirandized: My soon-to-be 3 year old miniature schnauzer will eat raw veggies including green beans, broccoli, carots, tomatoes, cauliflower, leaf lettuce (has to be crisp) spinach and corn. I have to watch giving him too much corn, because it comes out just as it goes in. He also eats fresh (not canned) mandarin oranges and fried apples. he doesn't care for raw apples. If you give him any of this with meat he will eat the meat first, and then what's left.

My three year old miniature schnauzer will not eat broccoli or carrots or (surprisingly) peanut butter.  He loves fruit and will eat green beans.  If I have him a bowl of fruit and broccoli, he will eat all of the fruit and leave the broccoli.

Also, on Tuesday nights, he gets to choose the TV programs we watch:

[scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 716x960]


Love my Schnauzer. Great personalities and very intelligent.
I let her lick my dinner plates after I'm done and a couple of nights ago I was a little slow in putting it on the floor and she came over and tapped me on my leg with her paw to let
me know to get my shiat together.
 
2014-01-10 09:37:03 AM  

jgilb: GalFriday: Mirandized: My soon-to-be 3 year old miniature schnauzer will eat raw veggies including green beans, broccoli, carots, tomatoes, cauliflower, leaf lettuce (has to be crisp) spinach and corn. I have to watch giving him too much corn, because it comes out just as it goes in. He also eats fresh (not canned) mandarin oranges and fried apples. he doesn't care for raw apples. If you give him any of this with meat he will eat the meat first, and then what's left.

My three year old miniature schnauzer will not eat broccoli or carrots or (surprisingly) peanut butter.  He loves fruit and will eat green beans.  If I have him a bowl of fruit and broccoli, he will eat all of the fruit and leave the broccoli.

Love my Schnauzer. Great personalities and very intelligent.
I let her lick my dinner plates after I'm done and a couple of nights ago I was a little slow in putting it on the floor and she came over and tapped me on my leg with her paw to let
me know to get my shiat together.


That sounds like my little guy.  He sleeps with me.  Last night I was propped up on pillows reading a book and he put a paw on my Kindle and nosed me because I had inadvertently grabbed HIS pillow when I made my pillow prop and so I leaned up and he pulled on his pillow until he got it out of the pile.  Then he flops down with a big sigh, like, "Woman, you know better than to mess with my pillow.  Get it together biatch."
 
2014-01-10 10:09:54 AM  
We accidentally left a bowl of licorice all-sorts on the table when we went out. Came home to find the whole bowl empty and the most putrid jet-black stain on the carpet where she puked it up. That one left a permanent mark that only fire could remove. Dog would eat anything.
 
2014-01-10 10:32:48 AM  
Green beans mixed with food was how I was able to get an ex girlfriend's dog to lose wait when she was in town.

As opposed to not over feeding and exercising him when she was out of town. Aka the "you're so mean!" diet.
 
2014-01-10 11:14:45 AM  
"Hey, if Rex gets a meal like that, how come we have to eat from Jack in the Box again?"
 
2014-01-10 11:43:38 AM  

ipxodi: libranoelrose: porterhouse and a t bone, with a cigar and scotch

because my dog is an American

The rule in my house is that when making a martini, the dog gets an olive.  (or he sulks)


/ He's an 80lb German Shepherd.
// Also goes completely bonkers for oranges.


matthershberger.com
 
2014-01-10 12:01:45 PM  

dolphkhan: My neighbor's dog used to beg for broccoli. I mean, I really like broccoli, but this fella would *beg* for it. Weird farking dog.



My last dog used to beg for the stalks of romain leftover from the greens I'd rip off to feed my lizards at the time.  She Also LOVED corn cobs...but those gave her gas so bad I couldn't give 'em to her.
 
2014-01-10 12:44:10 PM  
 
2014-01-10 01:08:13 PM  

GalFriday: ...That sounds like my little guy.  He sleeps with me.  Last night I was propped up on pillows reading a book and he put a paw on my Kindle and nosed me because I had inadvertently grabbed HIS pillow when I made my pillow prop and so I leaned up and he pulled on his pillow until he got it out of the pile.  Then he flops down with a big sigh, like, "Woman, you know better than to mess with my pillow.  Get it together biatch."


I have a single bed--very narrow, yet Otho insists on sleeping with me. I used to make him lay down on his own bed next to mine, but he would just wait until I fell asleep and then crawl in with me. Some things you just have to accept.
 
2014-01-10 01:10:50 PM  

elvindeath: My dog just seems to want to eat paper towel and frozen turds.


You know those little puffy absorbent things on the bottom of meat packages? I think if my dog eats one of those, her bowels will be permanently obstructed and I'll have to watch her die writhing on the floor of the kitchen.

So far they haven't done that, but I take them away from her anyway. She just gets the hamburger grease.
 
2014-01-10 03:40:03 PM  
I don't care how much you cried when you saw Bambi, your dog needs meat. You will cry more when he dies of a protein deficiency if you try to impose your vegetarian screwball beliefs on your dog.
 
2014-01-10 05:40:26 PM  
Small dog or giant pear?
 
2014-01-10 08:14:05 PM  

DanZero: The number of years that annoying meme has been on fark?


I referenced it in a "guaranteed green" headline yesterday. Doesn't matter how crappy the headline is, if it mentions a dog wanting steak it gets insta-greened.
 
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