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(Topless Robot)   A review of the new Grilled Stuft Nacho, of which Taco Bell has been marketing by showing commercials which imply the food is designed to be eaten while running away from the father of the underage girl you just tried to f*ck   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 116
    More: Amusing, Grilled Stuffed Nacho, Taco Bell, underage girls, nachos, flour tortilla, first impression, ranch dressing, scallions  
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12000 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2014 at 3:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-10 05:56:27 AM  

8tReAsUrEz: Hm. "like your first time having sex". Mine was spectacular (She thought so too, still comes back for more after many years and many other partners).


Yeah.. hate to be the one to break it to you, but.. you got the herp. And the Syph. You're clean on the Hivvy test, though, so.. woo hoo!
 
2014-01-10 06:57:29 AM  
I'd love to try a grilled stuft nacho, but all I had was a $2 bill.
 
2014-01-10 07:01:15 AM  
Wow, the trope of implying taco bell food is bad will never die. Extra points for putting quotes around beef and saying sour cream is gross.
 
2014-01-10 07:06:08 AM  

DanZero: It's pretty good, reminds me of the Volcano stuff they have, but it's no Crunchwrap Supreme


Chalupas. Oh my god, chalupas. When I was pregnant w/ my youngest son, I craved chalupas something
fierce. I lost count of the number of times my husband when on late night Taco Bell runs for me.

With my first kid, I craved McChicken sandwiches and Checkers fries - and water from the inside of partly
frozen ice cubes.
 
2014-01-10 07:31:55 AM  

C18H27NO3: Dear Taco Bell,
    Add some real fire to one item on your menu and you'll get the sales.
Not any of this namby-pamby stuff that everyone tries to pass off as hot; eg., your Volcano thinger, Wendy's spicy chicken thing, whatever Carl's Jr's caliente du jour is...
I'm talking actually hot. Make it like you mean it. Just one obvious item that burns your face off and people will line up for it.


The problem with that is that your avereage person would be like "I'm a man, I like hot things. *munch* ZOMG! Is too hot! Why you no tell me is hot?? I wants back my monies"

There are people who enjoy things that are actualy spicy. There are a lot more who just think they do. For instance this one chinese buffet I used t to go to had awesome peppered crunchy green beans. Lots of pepper for a good spice kick. Well one day I get some, and they are bland as hell hell. They are labeled 'peppered greenbeans' but there is maybe 2 specks of pepper per square inch. I asked the chinese lady WTF. She says "Everyone complained. They said it was too hot" I told her "it says *peppered* greenbeans. If they don't like pepper on it, they shouldn't eat it then" She agreed, but had to cater to the most people. She'd make me a proper batch whenever I asked, but I still hated that they had to change it for a few sissies.

I don't like things that are so hot that everything just tastes like burning. But I enjoy heat when it adds flavor. I am of the firm belief that if you are using pepper in something, you damn well better be able to see little black bits everywhere, or why even bother?
 
2014-01-10 07:43:05 AM  

Ishidan: 1nsanilicious: When did reviews of things become profanity laced comparisons of extreme hate?

Why not ask why our cooking shows no longer look like Julia Child or even Iron Chef, and instead look like Gordon Ramsay? Same reason.
/know what we need? An edgy, angry show about painting. If we can turn The Galloping Gourmet into a spectacle of screaming and profanity, just imagine what we could do with Bob Ross's favorite activity.


Drama sells.

You can still find good instruction if you know where to look though.  Alton Brown, America's Test Kitchen and Jacques Pepin just off the top of my head, and are three of my favorites.

Also, Thomas Keller recently started doing a YouTube show.  He's a remarkably good teacher for having no background in acting or broadcasting or anything.  He has natural ease like Pepin does that probably comes part from natural talent and part from the confidence of having such a complete mastery of everything he talks about.
 
2014-01-10 07:44:49 AM  
I kind of like the grilled stuft nacho.
 
2014-01-10 07:47:51 AM  
 
2014-01-10 07:50:50 AM  

you are a puppet: Shadowtag: Is that what's happening in that ad? Cuz I heard it as "YOUR dad came home early". So maybe the kid's banging his sister.

They changed the audio from her to your. I looked it up because I thought the same thing (why is this kid banging his sister)


I was going to ask the same thing, because that's the only version I've seen/heard... I was wondering just why the hell he was running from his own father getting home early... I never even considered the possibility of him getting caught banging his own sister, but I suppose that's the only thing that makes sense with the new audio... Great job with the change there, marketing monkeys... You've taken it from funny to creepy...
 
2014-01-10 07:56:06 AM  

robohobo: Nothing better than underage tail. Seriously. Way less mileage, too. Which is always a good thing.


When you eventually know the touch of an adult woman, you'll feel ashamed for ever thinking this.
 
2014-01-10 08:10:15 AM  
I always figure the boy didn't fark the dad's daughter; he's fully dressed and doesn't look disheveled at all. In addition, he hadn't started eating the Taco Bell food at all; we see him taking his first bite while he's running.

So, either he stole Dad's taco and is eating it, or he brought it with him intending to eat it after the farking was done, only Dad showed up early before they got to the 'clothes on the floor' step.
 
2014-01-10 08:13:11 AM  

Harry_Seldon: unyon: Haven't seen the ad- does the kid run before or after he makes Shawn Johnson's taco pop?

Oh you!


I farking love Shaun Johnson, and I don't care who knows it. She's taken the gold... of my heart.
 
2014-01-10 08:20:33 AM  
Ah, Taco Bell.  Much like the GOP, I didn't leave you, you left me.  In the 80's, you were quite possibly the finest stoner drive thru food available in a medium sized midwestern city, and now, you don't even assemble anything resembling food.

A loss, to be sure, but I'll survive.  But I am saddened and a bit wistful for the early blush of affection our relationship used to have.
 
2014-01-10 08:24:50 AM  

digitalrain: DanZero: It's pretty good, reminds me of the Volcano stuff they have, but it's no Crunchwrap Supreme

Chalupas. Oh my god, chalupas. When I was pregnant w/ my youngest son, I craved chalupas something
fierce. I lost count of the number of times my husband when on late night Taco Bell runs for me.

With my first kid, I craved McChicken sandwiches and Checkers fries - and water from the inside of partly
frozen ice cubes.


Huh, when I was pregnant (30 years ago), I craved lobster. My husband finally took me to San Francisco to a nice restaurant in my eighth month and I got to eat one. Haven't had one since :(

/only got pregnant once
//so only one lobster
 
2014-01-10 08:26:37 AM  

Arthen: Extra points for putting quotes around beef


There's a reason for that, you know.
 
2014-01-10 08:33:23 AM  
i43.tinypic.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-01-10 08:35:56 AM  

Bendal: I always figure the boy didn't fark the dad's daughter; he's fully dressed and doesn't look disheveled at all. In addition, he hadn't started eating the Taco Bell food at all; we see him taking his first bite while he's running.

So, either he stole Dad's taco and is eating it, or he brought it with him intending to eat it after the farking was done, only Dad showed up early before they got to the 'clothes on the floor' step.


.

I think the nacho is a euphemism for the Dad's daughter.

"Eating one of these gives the same joy as losing your virginity for the first time"
 
2014-01-10 08:42:50 AM  

you are a puppet: Shadowtag: Is that what's happening in that ad? Cuz I heard it as "YOUR dad came home early". So maybe the kid's banging his sister.

They changed the audio from her to your. I looked it up because I thought the same thing (why is this kid banging his sister)


Could be banging the baby sitter.


But I'm just glad that someone confirmed that the audio was changed.   The first couple of times I heard, I heard "HER parents" and thereafter, when listening it seemed to be "YOUR parents" and most recently seemed to have flipped back to "HER" once again.
 
2014-01-10 08:44:35 AM  
My wife tried one and very unhappily kept referring to it as a "burnt pancake".  Needless to say, she was not impressed ;)
 
2014-01-10 08:45:42 AM  

1nsanilicious: Bendal: I always figure the boy didn't fark the dad's daughter; he's fully dressed and doesn't look disheveled at all. In addition, he hadn't started eating the Taco Bell food at all; we see him taking his first bite while he's running.

So, either he stole Dad's taco and is eating it, or he brought it with him intending to eat it after the farking was done, only Dad showed up early before they got to the 'clothes on the floor' step.

.

I think the nacho is a euphemism for the Dad's daughter.

"Eating one of these gives the same joy as losing your virginity for the first time"


You can lose it more than once?
 
2014-01-10 08:47:43 AM  

GDubDub: 1nsanilicious: Bendal: I always figure the boy didn't fark the dad's daughter; he's fully dressed and doesn't look disheveled at all. In addition, he hadn't started eating the Taco Bell food at all; we see him taking his first bite while he's running.

So, either he stole Dad's taco and is eating it, or he brought it with him intending to eat it after the farking was done, only Dad showed up early before they got to the 'clothes on the floor' step.

.

I think the nacho is a euphemism for the Dad's daughter.

"Eating one of these gives the same joy as losing your virginity for the first time"

You can lose it more than once?


I lost my virginity!!!!!  No, wait, there it is...
 
2014-01-10 08:49:56 AM  

Somacandra: jaylectricity: When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?

The dad is also portrayed in as slightly chewing on some remnant of the stuffed nacho. Clearly, the nacho is a metaphor for thoughts about the girl's sexuality as reduced to a commercial consumable product---as the the guardian of his daughter her father is portrayed as only having oblique contact (as fathers do)  with awareness of his daughter's desires. He chases the boy who has the Lacanian phallus (nacho) and represents the father's simultaneous authority and repressed wish to fulfill his own desire for his daughter's friends. Of course the daughter is never actually portrayed--she is silenced as a vanishing mediator for the transference of authority between the male youth and the male father. Everything is depicted in slow motion, causing the eye to focus directly on the mouth and its contact point with the nacho (or in the father's case, the deferred nacho). The subtext of the commercial clearly says that if you purchase and openly eat the grilled stuffed nacho, you are actually farking the daughter.

I'm kidding.

No one has the Lacanian Phallus.


Your.

Post.

Epic.
 
2014-01-10 08:50:55 AM  

Arthen: Wow, the trope of implying taco bell food is bad will never die. Extra points for putting quotes around beef and saying sour cream is gross.


Yup

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2014-01-10 08:51:38 AM  

1nsanilicious: "Eating one of these gives the same joy as losing your virginity for the first time"


Fun in the moment, sometimes a little painful, over pretty quick, and with a multitude of regrets afterward?
 
2014-01-10 08:51:54 AM  

blindio: GDubDub: 1nsanilicious: Bendal: I always figure the boy didn't fark the dad's daughter; he's fully dressed and doesn't look disheveled at all. In addition, he hadn't started eating the Taco Bell food at all; we see him taking his first bite while he's running.

So, either he stole Dad's taco and is eating it, or he brought it with him intending to eat it after the farking was done, only Dad showed up early before they got to the 'clothes on the floor' step.

.

I think the nacho is a euphemism for the Dad's daughter.

"Eating one of these gives the same joy as losing your virginity for the first time"

You can lose it more than once?

I lost my virginity!!!!!  No, wait, there it is...


You can lose your cherry, but you'll always have the box it came in.


Sorry.  Hey, it's friday and I'm at work and already bored.
 
2014-01-10 09:08:39 AM  
The guy acts like you can't get Volcanon tacos/burritos/etc. anymore. You can. You just have to ask for lava sauce on whatever you order. I loved me some volcano tacos before life cruelly yanked away my ability to tolerate grains, corns, or gluten.
 
2014-01-10 09:13:35 AM  

Misconduc: [mitchieville.com image 500x371]

Maybe some girls like Taco Bell instead?


I know someone who wants that man's number...

2.bp.blogspot.com

A man's gotta eat...
 
2014-01-10 09:23:43 AM  

jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.


What bothers me is that it's the same dad from that Nintendo WiiU commercial...

And the girl in that commercial looks to be about 9-10.

/fictional character outrage??
 
2014-01-10 09:36:07 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Arthen: Extra points for putting quotes around beef

There's a reason for that, you know.


No. That was a fraudulent lawsuit that was dropped 2 years ago.

http://www.tacobell.com/nutrition/foodfacts/BeefQuality/BeefIngredie nt FAQ
 
2014-01-10 09:51:25 AM  

jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.


I had envisioned he was getting a beejer from the girl while he ate some taco bell.
 
2014-01-10 09:55:07 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [i43.tinypic.com image 480x722]

[i.imgur.com image 480x323]


I refer to the mad dash to the toilet after Taco Bell as having to "Make a Run for the Border".
 
2014-01-10 10:21:05 AM  

jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.


The other issue I have with that commercial is that the audio seems to say "YOUR parents come home early."  I don't hear "HER parents come home early" at all, and I've hit rewind on the DVR a couple of times to make sure I'm getting it right.  Maybe it's different in my market.  So as I hear it, the kid is running away from his own home.  Carrying food.  I just figured he had a party there or something.
 
2014-01-10 10:47:07 AM  
Apparently this Nacho was designed to be eaten on the run while being chased by the father of the daughter whose Nacho you just tried to eat.
 
2014-01-10 10:49:01 AM  
Had one last week.  It was farking horrible, and I'm no food snob.  None of the flavors jive at all, and there was zero discernable cheese flavor.  The sour cream (which I like, in general) made it worse.  But my four year-old kind of liked it, so Taco Bell has that going for them, which is nice.
 
2014-01-10 10:58:23 AM  

lawboy87: But I'm just glad that someone confirmed that the audio was changed.   The first couple of times I heard, I heard "HER parents" and thereafter, when listening it seemed to be "YOUR parents" and most recently seemed to have flipped back to "HER" once again.


gluttonize.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-01-10 11:02:10 AM  
Stop discriminating against triangular Romulan food.
 
2014-01-10 11:08:51 AM  

DrBenway: jaylectricity: fusillade762: jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.

You're really over-thinking this.

I'm not fretting about it...just trying to flesh some material out of it.

I just figured it was some sort of "adding insult to injury" angle -- not only was the young man screwing the dad's daughter, but he stole his Taco Bell on the way out of the house. Of course that poses a new question for you to chew on: is dad angrier about the sex or on account of the purloined stuft nacho?


Sounds like the dude figured since he left a stuffed taco at the house, he might as well take one from dad on the way out the door.
 
2014-01-10 11:22:33 AM  

Boo_Guy: Why do companies do that? Put out "hot" stuff that isn't that hot? Is it so that people who never eat spicy food can feel like they're taking a walk on the wild side? Are they afraid of being liable for heart attacks or exploding ulcers?


I've noticed that with hot mustard from Chinese restaurants as well. The vast majority serve little packets of dumbed-down mustard that might as well be French's. Fortunately, there's one near me that makes its own, packaged into little plastic cups with lids, and it does a wonderful job of cleaning out your sinuses.
 
2014-01-10 11:40:52 AM  

silvervial: digitalrain: DanZero: It's pretty good, reminds me of the Volcano stuff they have, but it's no Crunchwrap Supreme

Chalupas. Oh my god, chalupas. When I was pregnant w/ my youngest son, I craved chalupas something
fierce. I lost count of the number of times my husband when on late night Taco Bell runs for me.

With my first kid, I craved McChicken sandwiches and Checkers fries - and water from the inside of partly
frozen ice cubes.

Huh, when I was pregnant (30 years ago), I craved lobster. My husband finally took me to San Francisco to a nice restaurant in my eighth month and I got to eat one. Haven't had one since :(

/only got pregnant once
//so only one lobster


upload.wikimedia.org

"At least you found your lobster."
 
2014-01-10 11:51:49 AM  

Zombalupagus: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [i43.tinypic.com image 480x722]

[i.imgur.com image 480x323]

I refer to the mad dash to the toilet after Taco Bell as having to "Make a Run for the Border".


Maybe you should see a doctor. Plenty of people have no problem eating and digesting Taco Bell food (or fast food in general).

I find it funny that some people go on and on about how McDonalds/Taco Bell/Starbucks/etc products are so horrible, while completely ignoring the fact that all these companies are extremely successful, to the tune of Billions a year. How much money did _you_ make this year, Mr. 'Tacobellsucks'?
 
2014-01-10 11:55:03 AM  

tommyl66: At least the dad is gaining on the kid, and the dog is gonna get there even sooner. If the commercial were 20 seconds longer you'd get to see some grade A child abuse footage.


That's because the kid grew up on terrible foodstuffs like Taco Bell, and he has the health and wind of a 75-year-old. Dad made healthy food choices for most of his life, and for that young whippersnapper to not only try to bang his daughter, but to bring such inedible trash into his house--well, that's going to be an epic ass-beating.

It's too bad that Dad isn't a Real American instead of just some dweeb who eats healthy food, or he could have shot that kid as he ran out the door, and we'd all be spared this commercial.
 
2014-01-10 11:58:42 AM  

Mentat: Can I eat my stuffed nacho while jumping my Nissan Rogue onto a moving train?

/This post is fantasy.  Cars don't drive on trains


That commercial drives me bugfark. The theme is Commute Your Way, then the rest of the spot is "you can't really so this,"

Please buy this car so you can not do anything we just showed you. See how cool it is?
 
2014-01-10 12:04:12 PM  

fredklein: How much money did _you_ make this year, Mr. 'Tacobellsucks'?


Enough that I don't have to eat a farkin' Taco Bell.
 
2014-01-10 12:15:02 PM  
fredklein:  I find it funny that some people go on and on about how McDonalds/Taco Bell/Starbucks/etc products are so horrible, while completely ignoring the fact that all these companies are extremely successful, to the tune of Billions a year. How much money did _you_ make this year, Mr. 'Tacobellsucks'?

Persons should not express a negative opinion about a company's products unless said person makes a certain level of money per year, preferably more money than said company earns annually (gross or net income?)

I guess that makes sense.
 
2014-01-10 12:17:24 PM  
Because like your first time having sex, the Grilled Stuft Nacho is farking awful.

my first time having sex was effing fantastic.

/it's all in the hips.
 
2014-01-10 12:39:24 PM  

SirEattonHogg: fredklein:  I find it funny that some people go on and on about how McDonalds/Taco Bell/Starbucks/etc products are so horrible, while completely ignoring the fact that all these companies are extremely successful, to the tune of Billions a year. How much money did _you_ make this year, Mr. 'Tacobellsucks'?

Persons should not express a negative opinion about a company's products unless said person makes a certain level of money per year, preferably more money than said company earns annually (gross or net income?)

I guess that makes sense.


That's not what I said.

My point is that these companies make a lot of money providing what they provide. This would not happen if their products were really 'horrible'. Thus, any opinion that the products are horrible is incorrect on the face of it.

Of course, people can like or dislike whatever they want. But personal dislike of a product or company does Not equal that product or company being horrible.
 
2014-01-10 12:48:10 PM  

Sgt Otter: technofiend: Eww.. I find wanting to eat a girl's stuffed taco to be a very specific and bizarre fetish.

You're thinking of an Alabama Hot Pocket.


Not a Tuscaloosa Dumpling?
 
2014-01-10 12:54:08 PM  
I admit, I eat their smothered burrito fairly frequently. It's a decent wet burrito for 3 bucks. Especially if you substitute onions for the rice (filler!), and have them eliminate that awful chipotle cream sauce.

The same thing at the Mexican restaurant down the street costs twice as much, and has the same ingredients.
 
2014-01-10 01:21:04 PM  

bagumpity: The other issue I have with that commercial is that the audio seems to say "YOUR parents come home early."  I don't hear "HER parents come home early" at all, and I've hit rewind on the DVR a couple of times to make sure I'm getting it right.  Maybe it's different in my market.  So as I hear it, the kid is running away from his own home.  Carrying food.  I just figured he had a party there or something.


Has no one paid any attention to the lyrics playing in the background?   Clearly, the commercial (at least as originally conceived and recorded) was referencing  "her parents."   The song is Evil Friend by Portugal and the relevant lyrics are as follows:  "  Your Mama's got nothing on me..  Your daddy's got nothing on me..."   In the commercial, just about the time the dad is shown coming flying across the lawn chasing the kid, is when the "your daddy's got nothing on me" lyric is heard.  So clearly, the kid (who the lyrics represent) is saying that to someone else, about their parents.

The first dozen or so times I saw this commercial (on a college bowl game where it was seemingly played ad infinitum) it was as plain as day that the announcer said "her parents."   A week or two later and now the script was altered and the announcer said "your parents."   I guess Taco Bell was taking some heat for potentially seeming to either condone possible rape, or underage sex and changed it up.
 
2014-01-10 01:23:05 PM  

ZeroCorpse:  ...decent wet burrito......



this......term.  It disturbs me greatly.
 
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