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(Topless Robot)   A review of the new Grilled Stuft Nacho, of which Taco Bell has been marketing by showing commercials which imply the food is designed to be eaten while running away from the father of the underage girl you just tried to f*ck   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 116
    More: Amusing, Grilled Stuffed Nacho, Taco Bell, underage girls, nachos, flour tortilla, first impression, ranch dressing, scallions  
•       •       •

11996 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jan 2014 at 3:16 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



116 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-09 07:09:13 PM  
Eww.. I find wanting to eat a girl's stuffed taco to be a very specific and bizarre fetish.
 
2014-01-09 07:14:25 PM  
A triangular burrito is a nacho

/right
 
2014-01-09 07:15:50 PM  
mitchieville.com

Maybe some girls like Taco Bell instead?
 
2014-01-09 07:20:57 PM  
After a pink taco, enjoy a Grilled Stuffed Nacho!
 
2014-01-09 07:51:18 PM  
It doesn't look remotely appetizing in the commercial either.
 
2014-01-09 08:53:37 PM  
Haven't seen the ad- does the kid run before or after he makes Shawn Johnson's taco pop?
 
2014-01-09 10:34:20 PM  

technofiend: Eww.. I find wanting to eat a girl's stuffed taco to be a very specific and bizarre fetish.


You're thinking of an Alabama Hot Pocket.
 
2014-01-09 11:19:53 PM  
"Stuft", subby.. "Stuft"

/but considering how it's only in the headline and mentioned throughout the article, I can understand how subby didn't see it
 
2014-01-09 11:23:16 PM  
So we're all on the same page here, what are we outraged about... The crappy food or some kid getting his rocks off?
 
2014-01-09 11:24:21 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: So we're all on the same page here, what are we outraged about... The crappy food or some kid getting his rocks off?


* What are we supposed to be outraged about
 
2014-01-09 11:29:42 PM  

BSABSVR: After a pink taco, enjoy a Grilled Stuffed Nacho!


Speaking of tacos, Taco Bell used to do shrimp tacos for lent, but they haven't had them the last couple years.  It's a shame, I always looked forward to them, hands down the best thing they've had on their menu.
 
2014-01-10 12:29:15 AM  
I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.
 
2014-01-10 12:42:19 AM  

jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.


You're really over-thinking this.
 
2014-01-10 12:46:35 AM  
Can I eat my stuffed nacho while jumping my Nissan Rogue onto a moving train?

/This post is fantasy.  Cars don't drive on trains
 
2014-01-10 12:56:16 AM  

fusillade762: jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.

You're really over-thinking this.


I'm not fretting about it...just trying to flesh some material out of it.
 
2014-01-10 01:05:45 AM  

jaylectricity: When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?


The dad is also portrayed in as slightly chewing on some remnant of the stuffed nacho. Clearly, the nacho is a metaphor for thoughts about the girl's sexuality as reduced to a commercial consumable product---as the the guardian of his daughter her father is portrayed as only having oblique contact (as fathers do)  with awareness of his daughter's desires. He chases the boy who has the Lacanian phallus (nacho) and represents the father's simultaneous authority and repressed wish to fulfill his own desire for his daughter's friends. Of course the daughter is never actually portrayed--she is silenced as a vanishing mediator for the transference of authority between the male youth and the male father. Everything is depicted in slow motion, causing the eye to focus directly on the mouth and its contact point with the nacho (or in the father's case, the deferred nacho). The subtext of the commercial clearly says that if you purchase and openly eat the grilled stuffed nacho, you are actually farking the daughter.

I'm kidding.

No one has the Lacanian Phallus.
 
2014-01-10 01:26:15 AM  

jaylectricity: fusillade762: jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.

You're really over-thinking this.

I'm not fretting about it...just trying to flesh some material out of it.


I just figured it was some sort of "adding insult to injury" angle -- not only was the young man screwing the dad's daughter, but he stole his Taco Bell on the way out of the house. Of course that poses a new question for you to chew on: is dad angrier about the sex or on account of the purloined stuft nacho?
 
2014-01-10 01:52:57 AM  

Somacandra: jaylectricity: When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?

The dad is also portrayed in as slightly chewing on some remnant of the stuffed nacho. Clearly, the nacho is a metaphor for thoughts about the girl's sexuality as reduced to a commercial consumable product---as the the guardian of his daughter her father is portrayed as only having oblique contact (as fathers do)  with awareness of his daughter's desires. He chases the boy who has the Lacanian phallus (nacho) and represents the father's simultaneous authority and repressed wish to fulfill his own desire for his daughter's friends. Of course the daughter is never actually portrayed--she is silenced as a vanishing mediator for the transference of authority between the male youth and the male father. Everything is depicted in slow motion, causing the eye to focus directly on the mouth and its contact point with the nacho (or in the father's case, the deferred nacho). The subtext of the commercial clearly says that if you purchase and openly eat the grilled stuffed nacho, you are actually farking the daughter.

I'm kidding.

No one has the Lacanian Phallus.


Well, this isn't hitting Main for a while still, and I have to go to bed, but kindly click the "Funny" button for me when it shows up.  That was a beautifully earnest analysis.

Two enthusiastic thumbs up.
 
2014-01-10 01:53:50 AM  

DrBenway: jaylectricity: fusillade762: jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.

You're really over-thinking this.

I'm not fretting about it...just trying to flesh some material out of it.

I just figured it was some sort of "adding insult to injury" angle -- not only was the young man screwing the dad's daughter, but he stole his Taco Bell on the way out of the house. Of course that poses a new question for you to chew on: is dad angrier about the sex or on account of the purloined stuft nacho?


He's probably pissed that his wife caught him with a stuffed nacho.  He's obviously overweight and probably has high blood pressure, so she's probably nagging him about exercising more and eating right.  Now that she caught him in the act thanks to douchenozzle, it's back to salads and no sex.  I'd chase after the little farker too.
 
2014-01-10 02:18:12 AM  
all I know is the nacho thing looks farking nasty.
 
2014-01-10 02:53:52 AM  
It's pretty good, reminds me of the Volcano stuff they have, but it's no Crunchwrap Supreme
 
2014-01-10 03:28:03 AM  
Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell
 
2014-01-10 03:30:40 AM  
Dear Taco Bell,
    Add some real fire to one item on your menu and you'll get the sales.
Not any of this namby-pamby stuff that everyone tries to pass off as hot; eg., your Volcano thinger, Wendy's spicy chicken thing, whatever Carl's Jr's caliente du jour is...
I'm talking actually hot. Make it like you mean it. Just one obvious item that burns your face off and people will line up for it.
 
2014-01-10 03:35:55 AM  

jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.


I'm kind of in love with the idea of the kid fleeing into a Taco Bell, placing his order with the fuming dad screeching to a halt behind him in line, who then feels obligated to order something himself before continuing the pursuit.. maybe a Baja Blast or a chicken soft taco.
 
2014-01-10 03:40:10 AM  
Nothing better than underage tail. Seriously. Way less mileage, too. Which is always a good thing.
 
2014-01-10 03:40:56 AM  

Cid_Highwind: Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell


There's a reason Taco Bell's primary clientele is the stoned and the hungover. I'm surprised they don't serve a free coffee with every meal.
 
2014-01-10 03:43:06 AM  

C18H27NO3: Dear Taco Bell,
    Add some real fire to one item on your menu and you'll get the sales.
Not any of this namby-pamby stuff that everyone tries to pass off as hot; eg., your Volcano thinger, Wendy's spicy chicken thing, whatever Carl's Jr's caliente du jour is...
I'm talking actually hot. Make it like you mean it. Just one obvious item that burns your face off and people will line up for it.


Why do companies do that?  Put out "hot" stuff that isn't that hot?  Is it so that people who never eat spicy food can feel like they're taking a walk on the wild side?  Are they afraid of being liable for heart attacks or exploding ulcers?

Did you ever try the spicy baconator?  It's not a regular menu item here but it's probably the hottest thing I've ever had from a big chain restaurant since it was covered in jalapeños.  I had a decent burn going on from it.
 
2014-01-10 03:44:39 AM  
Is that what's happening in that ad? Cuz I heard it as "YOUR dad came home early". So maybe the kid's banging his sister.
 
2014-01-10 03:45:17 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: Peter von Nostrand: So we're all on the same page here, what are we outraged about... The crappy food or some kid getting his rocks off?

* What are we supposed to be outraged about


That an underaged boy is having sex with an underaged girl and they're both eating overaged food.
 
2014-01-10 03:46:17 AM  

Shadowtag: Is that what's happening in that ad? Cuz I heard it as "YOUR dad came home early". So maybe the kid's banging his sister.


They changed the audio from her to your. I looked it up because I thought the same thing (why is this kid banging his sister)
 
2014-01-10 03:50:31 AM  

Cid_Highwind: Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell


Yup. I tried a Taco Bell once last year for the first time since 1995. I figured, hey, they were decent back then, they can only have gotten better, with improvements in health codes, recipes, technology, etc. Great farking lord was I wrong. I don't understand how such a major restaurant business can actually get worse over time and stay in business.
 
2014-01-10 03:51:10 AM  
When did reviews of things become profanity laced comparisons of extreme hate?
 
2014-01-10 03:52:11 AM  

foxyshadis: Cid_Highwind: Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell

There's a reason Taco Bell's primary clientele is the stoned and the hungover. I'm surprised they don't serve a free coffee with every meal.


The last time I had Taco Bell was because I was getting sick of the Wendys near the hospital my dad was in. I regretted it about a half hour later, as always, and I think I'm done eating there for good. I'll make my own hangover food, thanks.
 
2014-01-10 03:57:04 AM  

Mentat: DrBenway: jaylectricity: fusillade762: jaylectricity: I have been talking about this commercial for weeks. I'm trying to figure it all out.

When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?
Or did the kid have the food already?
If he had the food already, why would he be farking the girl? Or why wouldn't the food already be gone when dad came home and caught him?
Getting back to the dad, if he brought the food home, did the kid steal the food and run?
Or maybe the kid bought the food, brought it to his OWN house thinking he'd have time to eat it before his jealous father got home. Maybe he had to run or else the dad would have beat him silly and taken his food.

There are really a number of different angles to this commercial and it bothers me that I can't be convinced on any one scenario.

You're really over-thinking this.

I'm not fretting about it...just trying to flesh some material out of it.

I just figured it was some sort of "adding insult to injury" angle -- not only was the young man screwing the dad's daughter, but he stole his Taco Bell on the way out of the house. Of course that poses a new question for you to chew on: is dad angrier about the sex or on account of the purloined stuft nacho?

He's probably pissed that his wife caught him with a stuffed nacho.  He's obviously overweight and probably has high blood pressure, so she's probably nagging him about exercising more and eating right.  Now that she caught him in the act thanks to douchenozzle, it's back to salads and no sex.  I'd chase after the little farker too.


The worst part of this, you know, is that here we are on Fark in the middle of the night writing fan fiction for Taco Bell commercials. This is not the way I expected my life to turn out.

I'm gonna need another drink or three.
 
2014-01-10 03:57:36 AM  

Mentat: Can I eat my stuffed nacho while jumping my Nissan Rogue onto a moving train?

/This post is fantasy.  Cars don't drive on trains


Yes.....the fine print in a commercial. It can be hilarious. Sometimes

/ The European model was shown.....in an American commercial!
 
2014-01-10 03:58:27 AM  
My wife and I are disabled-poor so Taco Bell used to be our thing because it didn't get us sick... then it got us sick.

Carl's may cost more but that once-a-month is worth it.
 
2014-01-10 04:01:11 AM  

you are a puppet: They changed the audio from her to your.


Come on. You're not really marketing if you're not willing to take some risks.
Pick something and stick with it.
 
2014-01-10 04:05:23 AM  
So apparently Taco Smell customers are supposed to be dumb enough to try to eat a meal while running for their lives.  Got it.
 
2014-01-10 04:07:15 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Cid_Highwind: Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell

Yup. I tried a Taco Bell once last year for the first time since 1995. I figured, hey, they were decent back then, they can only have gotten better, with improvements in health codes, recipes, technology, etc. Great farking lord was I wrong. I don't understand how such a major restaurant business can actually get worse over time and stay in business.


I've tried Taco Bell twice in my lifetime; suffered great disappointment.

Now, Taco Time? That's my go-to for fast (highly edible) tacos.
 
2014-01-10 04:16:12 AM  

Just_a_Bear: So apparently Taco Smell customers are supposed to be dumb enough to try to eat a meal while running for their lives. Got it.


If you're already going to be running for your life then why not multitask and eat something in the process?
If I were just falling off a cliff as opposed to falling off a cliff eating a cinnamon bun I'd probably choose the latter.

/not a fatty
 
2014-01-10 04:34:26 AM  

Just_a_Bear: So apparently Taco Smell customers are supposed to be dumb enough to try to eat a meal while running for their lives.  Got it.


Well, it is more like Taco Bell's ( Pepsi Co.& LLC) advertising executives are dumb enough to think that their customers are dumb enough to believe anything that they put in their commercials. Marketing is only about trying to sell pretty lies all dressed up with sex and some music background track. Oh, and I always really needed some kind of Mexican style food that I could eat on the run. Like burritos, chimichangas, the crunch wrap or many other items on the Taco Hell menu line up already there. Like Taco Bell is even considered food!

/ OK, processed foodstuff.....maybe.
// and I'm being generous with the foodstuff label there.
/// VERY generous
 
2014-01-10 04:42:22 AM  

Somacandra: jaylectricity: When the dad got home early, did he bring the food?

The dad is also portrayed in as slightly chewing on some remnant of the stuffed nacho. Clearly, the nacho is a metaphor for thoughts about the girl's sexuality as reduced to a commercial consumable product---as the the guardian of his daughter her father is portrayed as only having oblique contact (as fathers do)  with awareness of his daughter's desires. He chases the boy who has the Lacanian phallus (nacho) and represents the father's simultaneous authority and repressed wish to fulfill his own desire for his daughter's friends. Of course the daughter is never actually portrayed--she is silenced as a vanishing mediator for the transference of authority between the male youth and the male father. Everything is depicted in slow motion, causing the eye to focus directly on the mouth and its contact point with the nacho (or in the father's case, the deferred nacho). The subtext of the commercial clearly says that if you purchase and openly eat the grilled stuffed nacho, you are actually farking the daughter.

I'm kidding.

No one has the Lacanian Phallus.


I'm not sure who has done more drugs right now...the ad-writing team, or you.
 
2014-01-10 04:58:32 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Cid_Highwind: Just as long as it's not another Dorito thing. After hearing everyone talk about how good the Doritos Locos Tacos were, I thought I'd try one.

It was like eating the innards of a taco through a shell made completely of salt. It didn't taste like Doritos. It didn't taste like a taco. It tasted like crunchy, lumpy salt. Probably the grossest thing I've ever eaten.

What the fark is wrong with people

/csb
//seriously they're gross as hell

Yup. I tried a Taco Bell once last year for the first time since 1995. I figured, hey, they were decent back then, they can only have gotten better, with improvements in health codes, recipes, technology, etc. Great farking lord was I wrong. I don't understand how such a major restaurant business can actually get worse over time and stay in business.


Seems to me that has been happening across many industries lately.
It's what happens when a new batch of B-school hotshots decide they can cut costs everywhere and cash in on the company's "name cache". Merger mania also causes this-and Taco Bell was acquired (along with Pizza Hut and KFC) into Yum brands since then.
And it works for a while.
Especially if the company had gotten so big under competent management that...I believe the term is "too big to fail".
 
2014-01-10 05:07:37 AM  

DrBenway: The worst part of this, you know, is that here we are on Fark in the middle of the night writing fan fiction for Taco Bell commercials. This is not the way I expected my life to turn out.

I'm gonna need another drink or three.


a few days ago I watched a two hour youtube video of the people at neweggtv talking about themselves. about half way through it sunk in that I somehow became a fan of a certain companies commercials. so much so, that I'll watch the actors/presenters answer questions about themselves for two full hours. why? I honestly don't know.
 
2014-01-10 05:09:22 AM  
www.besthairstyles2013.net

Her eyes may say, "I am all yours".
But her age will make the judge say, "Your ass belongs to Big Bubba for the next 5-10 years".
 
2014-01-10 05:11:32 AM  

1nsanilicious: When did reviews of things become profanity laced comparisons of extreme hate?


Why not ask why our cooking shows no longer look like Julia Child or even Iron Chef, and instead look like Gordon Ramsay? Same reason.
/know what we need? An edgy, angry show about painting. If we can turn The Galloping Gourmet into a spectacle of screaming and profanity, just imagine what we could do with Bob Ross's favorite activity.
 
2014-01-10 05:28:24 AM  
Hm. "like your first time having sex". Mine was spectacular (She thought so too, still comes back for more after many years and many other partners). It pays to actually read something about female sexual responses, u kno?

/Not that I'm bragging. Oh no, nothing could be further from my mind.
//Taco Bell is one of the reasons the aliens will blow us to smithereens
///Tacos are what I ate in Mexico. Taco Bell is dung wrapped in shiat
 
2014-01-10 05:33:59 AM  

unyon: Haven't seen the ad- does the kid run before or after he makes Shawn Johnson's taco pop?


Oh you!

i.ytimg.com
 
2014-01-10 05:41:21 AM  
At least the dad is gaining on the kid, and the dog is gonna get there even sooner. If the commercial were 20 seconds longer you'd get to see some grade A child abuse footage.
 
2014-01-10 05:49:08 AM  

Ishidan: 1nsanilicious: When did reviews of things become profanity laced comparisons of extreme hate?

Why not ask why our cooking shows no longer look like Julia Child or even Iron Chef, and instead look like Gordon Ramsay? Same reason.
/know what we need? An edgy, angry show about painting. If we can turn The Galloping Gourmet into a spectacle of screaming and profanity, just imagine what we could do with Bob Ross's favorite activity.


"WHAT THE FARK ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT, TREES?!?!?"
 
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