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(Slate)   So now same sex marriage "endorses masturbation", maybe I signed up for the wrong team?   (slate.com) divider line 162
    More: Asinine, opponents of same-sex marriage, Utah, racial segregations, Articles of Confederation, President Dwight Eisenhower, homophobia, uprising, George Wallace  
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3446 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Jan 2014 at 8:34 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



162 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-01-10 12:30:07 AM  

MrEricSir: Somacandra: Leaders like Harvey Milk aren't getting assassinated these decades.

Milk was killed by someone he worked with, Dan White, who held relatively progressive views on gay rights for the time. Besides, White's other victim was straight. Doesn't seem like an anti-gay hate crime any way you look at it.


Not the Dan White I heard about. He was twisted about gaysnot being manly like police and firefighters if i call correctly. And hated Harvey Milk so much that he killed the mayor for being supportive of Milk. I will have to look this up, but l remember White not the least progressive about gays other than what he had to be.
 
2014-01-10 12:34:20 AM  
www.customfighters.com
 
2014-01-10 12:45:22 AM  
Team "endorses masturbation"!
 
2014-01-10 12:50:52 AM  

Lsherm: Man I dated a woman in college who was fascinated with giving handjobs.  Loved giving them more than having sex, I think.  She took it as a point of personal pride every time I came, like it was a gold star for her doing well on an assignment.  And she would dole them out anywhere - in the back of a van on a road trip, our elevator, single-use restrooms, at a game under a coat - anywhere. We broke up after a few months, and when I went back to, uh, self-service, I really disappointed myself.

Unfortunately, she's the only woman I've ever met who had a thing about it.

/I've completely forgotten what my point was.


Maybe she really took the phrase "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" to heart.
 
2014-01-10 12:53:34 AM  

JohnnyC: I'm convinced that 99% of the people who get really worked up over other people's sex lives (or who they choose to have sex with) are really just having a hard time dealing with the fact that everyone is having more sex than them.

[i2.photobucket.com image 441x299]

Does everybody else... get that feeling?


Bless you, sir. Now I have to go and watch that again.
 
2014-01-10 12:59:52 AM  

Kevin72: MrEricSir: Somacandra: Leaders like Harvey Milk aren't getting assassinated these decades.

Milk was killed by someone he worked with, Dan White, who held relatively progressive views on gay rights for the time. Besides, White's other victim was straight. Doesn't seem like an anti-gay hate crime any way you look at it.

Not the Dan White I heard about. He was twisted about gaysnot being manly like police and firefighters if i call correctly. And hated Harvey Milk so much that he killed the mayor for being supportive of Milk. I will have to look this up, but l remember White not the least progressive about gays other than what he had to be.


It's not entirely clear why White killed Milk and Moscone, but it would be hard to paint him as a fundamentalist bigot type. SF Weekly had a great article on his motives a couple years ago that explains this much better than I can.
 
2014-01-10 01:07:42 AM  
That old guy with the sign doesn't know jack about masturbation.
 
2014-01-10 01:18:57 AM  

JohnnyC: I'm convinced that 99% of the people who get really worked up over other people's sex lives (or who they choose to have sex with) are really just having a hard time dealing with the fact that everyone is having more sex than them.

[i2.photobucket.com image 441x299]

Does everybody else... get that feeling?


www.trilobite.org

What feeling?
 
2014-01-10 01:26:35 AM  
Homophobes are master debaters.
 
2014-01-10 01:31:10 AM  

vernonFL: What is wrong with masturbation?


Masturbation is a sin because it is generally linked to the commandment of Thou Shalt Not Covet.
One protects children from sinning and eternal damnation if you can keep them from masturbating. (Good luck with that.)

And then Christians took the story of Onan to ridiculous heights of speculative doctrine.
 
2014-01-10 01:32:42 AM  

MrEricSir: Kevin72: MrEricSir: Somacandra: Leaders like Harvey Milk aren't getting assassinated these decades.

Milk was killed by someone he worked with, Dan White, who held relatively progressive views on gay rights for the time. Besides, White's other victim was straight. Doesn't seem like an anti-gay hate crime any way you look at it.

Not the Dan White I heard about. He was twisted about gaysnot being manly like police and firefighters if i call correctly. And hated Harvey Milk so much that he killed the mayor for being supportive of Milk. I will have to look this up, but l remember White not the least progressive about gays other than what he had to be.

It's not entirely clear why White killed Milk and Moscone, but it would be hard to paint him as a fundamentalist bigot type. SF Weekly had a great article on his motives a couple years ago that explains this much better than I can.


Your article is an interview with this man:
Nearly 30 years after the murders, Sloan still works for White, performing the quixotic task of spin control for perhaps the most hated man in San Francisco's history.
Dan White worked well with Harvey at first. But hated him after a disagreement over an issue, putting a rehab for violent youth facility in White's district. White's campaign shpiel was pro-native SF/anti-all those gay immigrants (we're talking mid70s remember).
 
2014-01-10 01:34:11 AM  
From my cold, dead hands, biatch.
 
2014-01-10 01:38:58 AM  
MrEricSir in the final analysis, it was a revenge murder. And Dan White also wanted to murder Willie Brown and supervisor Carol Ruth Silver. But his sizzling homophobia in the background was enough to drive him to multiple murder as a "solution".
 
2014-01-10 01:47:45 AM  
Well if you oppose masturbation, then opposing gay marriage DOES make a certain type of sense.  "Traditional" marriage will inevitably encourage masturbation and I have no reason to assume gay marriage is any different.  So standing against any and all forms of marriage (thus encouraging people to actually get laid) does discourage masturbation.
 
2014-01-10 02:12:41 AM  
Obviously it goes back to the Free Love '60s. Listen to the the soundtrack from the musical Hair. It's all right there in the song Sodomy.

/get a brain moranis
//got nuthin
 
2014-01-10 03:45:44 AM  
I'm guessing constant worry about masturbation is what keeps the Mormon Lunatic Complex wound up so tight emotionally, yet so full of energy that its adherents can endure their bike rides, can constantly support their made-up "doctrine" and can obsess over genealogical research.
 
2014-01-10 04:05:33 AM  

Somacandra: That's wasn't Secretary of State Albright. In fact, if she had discussed masturbation that would have caused most teen boners to wilt. I think you mean Dr. Joycelyn Elders, his nominee for Surgeon General.


I'm trying to find who said it, but I think it was the English comedian Andy Hamilton who said "Only in America would people have to be taught how to masturbate..."
Whether it was on QI or not...
 
2014-01-10 04:14:18 AM  
Look it's really very simple. Everyone knows that women don't want to put out after they are married, unless it's to make babies. In gay couples, one of them is the woman. Naturally the gay man-woman will stop putting out once they are married, and since gays can't even make babies, they won't even be having sex for procreation, which will lead to masturbation in the oversexed male 'man' half of the gay dudebro couples. They are used to having filthy hot fetish sex with random strangers in bars and truckstops and bathrooms so once they get married if their spouse cuts them off they'll be masturbating up a blizzard. And no one cares about lesbians. I think that covers everything?
 
2014-01-10 04:17:15 AM  

Kevin72: MrEricSir in the final analysis, it was a revenge murder. And Dan White also wanted to murder Willie Brown and supervisor Carol Ruth Silver. But his sizzling homophobia in the background was enough to drive him to multiple murder as a "solution".


And the fact that he was able to beat the murder rap and get a slap on the wrist says a lot about the climate of the time.
 
2014-01-10 04:49:41 AM  
Fill your hand you son of a biatch!
imageshack.com
 
2014-01-10 05:29:35 AM  

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: Being able to reach your junk endorses masturbation


Done in 3
 
2014-01-10 05:31:04 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: Cagey B: ArcadianRefugee: ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: Being able to reach your junk endorses masturbation

[global3.memecdn.com image 480x332]

The T-Rex is terrifying enough that it could have coerced smaller dinosaurs into giving it handies at will. Which is pretty funny to imagine, so I guess your graphic is correct after all.

Something something, deep-throat an apatosaurus (brontosaurus).


Gayzilla says what?
 
2014-01-10 07:48:24 AM  

fatassbastard: [www.slate.com image 590x421]

Dear Sir,

You have just become an internet meme.

Congratulations!

Yours truly,
Everyone


Im masturbating right now thinking of that lady in the red dress's leg and wondering if her panties are wet from passing that poster because she is a homosexual and is thinking of the happy fun times she will have at home with her lover later tonight.


so yeah.. gay marriage does lead to masturbation
 
2014-01-10 08:44:24 AM  
So let's see if I get the logical arguments here:

Premise 1:  Gay Marriage is wrong
Premise 2:  Gay Marriage encourages masturbation

Conclusion:  We should declare an uprising against the federal government to block Gay marriage.

Is that about right?  Because I personally think they're missing "a few" steps in between.
 
2014-01-10 08:58:47 AM  
OMG, that's gotta be a 'shop.

/right?
//RIGHT?!?!
 
2014-01-10 09:01:17 AM  
Two hot women getting married makes me think of two hot women having sex, which leads me to masturbate. QED
 
2014-01-10 09:03:16 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: I'm guessing constant worry about masturbation is what keeps the Mormon Lunatic Complex wound up so tight emotionally, yet so full of energy that its adherents can endure their bike rides, can constantly support their made-up "doctrine" and can obsess over genealogical research.



Seriously, you're going to get a bug up your ass about studying history? If ignorance is truly bliss, you're most likely the happiest person on the farking planet.
 
2014-01-10 09:21:23 AM  
This reminds me of Oreilly's very odd conflation of legalized weed and texting.

These old RWers are some confused scared morons aren't they?

wait...what?
 
2014-01-10 09:46:05 AM  
The headline sounds like one of those "Family Guy" conversations:

"Okay, I've got one: Would you rather be unable to masturbate ever again but be free to have sex with women, or be able to masturbate whenever you want, but only be allowed to have sex with other men?"

"Ooohh, good one Peter!"
 
2014-01-10 09:47:16 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: [i1214.photobucket.com image 375x720]


So you'll still be popular opinion in Alabama, Mississippi and rural Texas.
 
2014-01-10 09:52:57 AM  

unexplained bacon: This reminds me of Oreilly's very odd conflation of legalized weed and texting.


Yeah, I came across that one yesterday... WTF? Was he out of medication or something? At least with the masturbation thing, it's linked to sex, I have no idea where the testing and pot thing came from at all...
 
2014-01-10 09:53:18 AM  
i157.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-10 09:55:21 AM  
I'm going to masturbate to the two guys making out in the photo on his sign.
 
2014-01-10 10:09:29 AM  

Mikey1969: unexplained bacon: This reminds me of Oreilly's very odd conflation of legalized weed and texting.

Yeah, I came across that one yesterday... WTF? Was he out of medication or something? At least with the masturbation thing, it's linked to sex, I have no idea where the testing and pot thing came from at all...


I loved the reaction from the pro-pot guy he had on set (had a pic of him in that post but it got thrown out).
He looked as confused as I was with the entire segment.
To me it really sounded like the ramblings of a frightened and confused old man angrily lashing out. Much like this jerk-off with the sign.
 
2014-01-10 10:10:16 AM  
You know what else endorses masturbation? UNWANTED TEEN PREGNANCY.
 
2014-01-10 10:15:15 AM  
media.urbandictionary.com
 
2014-01-10 10:18:03 AM  

Lsherm: Man I dated a woman in college who was fascinated with giving handjobs.  Loved giving them more than having sex, I think.  She took it as a point of personal pride every time I came, like it was a gold star for her doing well on an assignment.  And she would dole them out anywhere - in the back of a van on a road trip, our elevator, single-use restrooms, at a game under a coat - anywhere. We broke up after a few months, and when I went back to, uh, self-service, I really disappointed myself.

Unfortunately, she's the only woman I've ever met who had a thing about it.

/I've completely forgotten what my point was.



the point was you were going to give us her number.
 
2014-01-10 10:23:36 AM  

ArcadianRefugee: OK... I still don't get the chain of logic, though. Two guys marrying one another encourages other people to jack off? Huh?



Clearly, looking at two men kissing makes them so incredibly turgid, their only recourse is furious self-flagellation.
 
2014-01-10 10:24:31 AM  

unexplained bacon: Mikey1969: unexplained bacon: This reminds me of Oreilly's very odd conflation of legalized weed and texting.

Yeah, I came across that one yesterday... WTF? Was he out of medication or something? At least with the masturbation thing, it's linked to sex, I have no idea where the testing and pot thing came from at all...

I loved the reaction from the pro-pot guy he had on set (had a pic of him in that post but it got thrown out).
He looked as confused as I was with the entire segment.
To me it really sounded like the ramblings of a frightened and confused old man angrily lashing out. Much like this jerk-off with the sign.


Yeah, that's pretty much the impression I got. Early onset Alzheimer's, perhaps?
 
2014-01-10 10:27:42 AM  

Dr Dreidel: [media.urbandictionary.com image 260x145]


Awww, that was supposed to be the sound a pic of one hand fapping.

// total enlightenment
// for about 5 seconds at a time
 
2014-01-10 10:36:12 AM  
Hey Subby. instead of changing teams, have you considered being a switch-hitter? With a little practice to improve hand-eye coordination, I'l bt you coul hit yourself a home-run every time.
 
2014-01-10 10:51:35 AM  
i13.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-10 11:35:07 AM  
Does anyone think the fact that the couple on the  poster is mixed-race is deliberate? (And ironic, too, since the same arguments they used to make about miscegenation are being made right now about same-sex marriage).
 
2014-01-10 11:52:05 AM  
img.fark.net

I wonder what made him choose that specific photo. Did he pick the first one he saw? Or did he browse photos like that for hours on end, under the pretext that he had to get it juuuuuust right?
 
2014-01-10 11:59:07 AM  

hobnail: Does anyone think the fact that the couple on the  poster is mixed-race is deliberate? (And ironic, too, since the same arguments they used to make about miscegenation are being made right now about same-sex marriage).


That hadn't occurred to me, but it does seem significant now that you mention it. Imagine, those beastly jungle-bunnies going after our fit, young college professors as well as our lily-white daughters!
 
2014-01-10 12:00:09 PM  

Hilarity_N_Sues: I wonder what made him choose that specific photo. Did he pick the first one he saw? Or did he browse photos like that for hours on end, under the pretext that he had to get it juuuuuust right?


Something tells me that guy does a lot of research.
 
2014-01-10 12:46:26 PM  
Satanic_Hamster:   So it's a common and accepted practice for adult Mormon priests to ask children if they've been masturbating?  That's even more messed up then the shiat Catholic priests have been doing.

static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-01-10 12:47:08 PM  
To men kissing is clearly gay.

scallywagandvagabond.com
 
2014-01-10 12:48:04 PM  
i1214.photobucket.com
 
2014-01-10 12:49:25 PM  
handy-dandy blank...

i1214.photobucket.com
 
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