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(Fox Sports)   11 reasons why Jerry Jones needs to draft Johnny Manziel   (msn.foxsports.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Johnny Manziel, Jerry Jones, Johnny Football, the cowboys, Cowboys, passing pocket, America's Team, disc injury  
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2377 clicks; posted to Sports » on 09 Jan 2014 at 8:01 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-01-09 05:29:13 PM  
I can counter with one reason why he should not:

The moment he does, the board of directors will rise as one and toss him out the window of his high-rise office.
 
2014-01-09 05:33:05 PM  
12)
media.onsugar.com
 
2014-01-09 05:36:11 PM  
Jerry should trade up to get him.  No matter what it takes.

/go iggles
 
2014-01-09 06:11:19 PM  
The most popular team? Wut?
 
2014-01-09 07:14:45 PM  
12. He might know a good coach or two.
 
2014-01-09 07:35:30 PM  

Quasar: The most popular team? Wut?


TFA says "most popular and polarizing team."  Despite well over a decade of mediocrity, they get the big tv games, and are broadcast across the country and talked about in national media.  They sell the most merchandise and remain the most popular if you average out multi year periods (sales and popularity vary year to year with the best performing teams generally at or near the top).  They are also one of (if not the) most hated team in the NFL.  They are kind of like the Yankees.  Popular with people across the country, but generally hated by most fans in a given specific area.  This is from October 2013 from Yahoo Sports:

According to a Harris Poll released this week, the Cowboys remain the most popular NFL team among Americans who follow football. In a survey of 2,577 adults conducted last month, came out on top for the sixth consecutive poll, which is done annually (except 2012, when the poll was not done).
 
2014-01-09 08:05:53 PM  
This could be a super nova level thread.  Yet another Cowboy thread slamming Jerruh as a shiatbag, casting turds Romo's way for always and forever choking at the wrong time, with the usual white knights weighing in with their time honored counterpoints.  Add to that the secret ingredient -- Johnny Football -- with all the redneck, white trash baggage he and his inbred family brings to the table.  Yes, this will be one for the ages.
 
2014-01-09 08:06:05 PM  
11. A fresh start - The Cowboys are disappointing. Romo is a choker. The coach is a puppet. Jones is a buffoon.

Nice one.  Should get plenty of bites.
 
2014-01-09 08:12:46 PM  

scottydoesntknow: 12)
[media.onsugar.com image 550x440]


this is the second hilarious post written by you i have read today

("One thing is clear: this type of behavior is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it because the people of New Jersey deserve better.

Do they Chris? Do they really?)

being the other.
 
2014-01-09 08:16:26 PM  
Here are the 11 reasons:

T
R
A
I
N
W
R
E
C
K
.
 
2014-01-09 08:17:52 PM  
Even Dallas isn't this stupid.
 
2014-01-09 08:20:11 PM  

rjakobi: I can counter with one reason why he should not:

The moment he does, the board of directors will rise as one and toss him out the window of his high-rise office.


The who of what? The what of who?
 
2014-01-09 08:20:30 PM  
Please do draft him.  I hate Johnny Football and the Cowboys.
 
2014-01-09 08:21:37 PM  
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.


/I think that's 12
//please do this, for the love of god, just for the hilarity, please please please
 
2014-01-09 08:25:36 PM  

SlothB77: Even Dallas isn't this stupid.


Are you sure?
 
2014-01-09 08:29:02 PM  
It could work. Both only care about money, so they're off to a good start there
 
2014-01-09 08:30:13 PM  

erupt2001: Please do draft him.  I hate Johnny Football and the Cowboys.


So if he fails in Dallas, is it him or the running of the team?  We'll only know in 5 years.
 
2014-01-09 08:33:11 PM  
heh if Dallas was to go after Manziel it should be interesting to see what kind of deal they make to drop low enough to do it.

/would love for them to come out on the wrong end of a Hershell Walker level trade.

/yes i am still bitter after all these years
 
2014-01-09 08:37:37 PM  
I like how half of those reasons boil down to "for the lulz."  After all, I'm pretty sure that's the only reason you'd go for him.
 
2014-01-09 08:40:25 PM  
Manziel will go to Jacksonville. They're desperate for a QB but even more desperate to put butts in the seats. Maybe they'll lose a tarp or two.
 
2014-01-09 08:43:43 PM  

Wadded Beef: Manziel will go to Jacksonville. They're desperate for a QB but even more desperate to put butts in the seats. Maybe they'll lose a tarp or two.


That...actually wouldn't be a bad thing for those reasons, assuming one of the higher teams doesn't take him *cough* Texans *cough*.
 
2014-01-09 08:44:25 PM  

rjakobi: I can counter with one reason why he should not:

The moment he does, the board of directors will rise as one and toss him out the window of his high-rise office.


So there's an upside.
 
2014-01-09 08:46:09 PM  
I figured the cowgirls would pick up Vick now that the iggles have moved on to Nick Foles
 
2014-01-09 08:53:33 PM  
"We don't have enough Cowboys threads today ... let's make up a topic!"

"How about a Jerry Football / Johnny Football thread?"

"Make it so!!"
 
2014-01-09 09:00:30 PM  

Prey4reign: This could be a super nova level thread.  Yet another Cowboy thread slamming Jerruh as a shiatbag, casting turds Romo's way for always and forever choking at the wrong time, with the usual white knights weighing in with their time honored counterpoints.  Add to that the secret ingredient -- Johnny Football -- with all the redneck, white trash baggage he and his inbred family brings to the table.  Yes, this will be one for the ages.


Jerry's not a shiatbag he's just a moron who knows nothing about building an NFL team, the only time they won was because Jimmy built the team.
 
2014-01-09 09:04:55 PM  
it's really a super good idea to use your high draft picks on skill players when the basic composition of your team, o-line and d-line aren't very good or are injury prone. it always works out well to put a highpriced qb behind a shiatty line, or add some star cornerback when your line couldn't stop an 80 year old from 5 yards per carry.
 
2014-01-09 09:13:00 PM  
Quincy Carter II:  Electric Boogaloo.
 
2014-01-09 09:13:31 PM  

Wadded Beef: Manziel will go to Jacksonville. They're desperate for a QB but even more desperate to put butts in the seats. Maybe they'll lose a tarp or two.


This. Kiper (yeah, I know) already has Manziel going to the Jags at 4, and lord knows that team needs SOMETHING to give it an identity.
 
2014-01-09 09:14:59 PM  

steamingpile: Jerry's not a shiatbag he's just a moron who knows nothing about building an NFL team, the only time they won was because Jimmy built the team.


Well, he DID know enough to hire Jimmy in the first place.
 
2014-01-09 09:17:07 PM  

tnpir: Wadded Beef: Manziel will go to Jacksonville. They're desperate for a QB but even more desperate to put butts in the seats. Maybe they'll lose a tarp or two.

This. Kiper (yeah, I know) already has Manziel going to the Jags at 4, and lord knows that team needs SOMETHING to give it an identity.


He does? Yeesh. Nothing against Kiper per se, but I now feel like I need to coif my hair and don eyeglasses as seen in American Hustle.
 
2014-01-09 09:23:56 PM  
Let's go through this list, just for the heck of it:

1) Good point, actually. Romo is getting older, he's gotten injured the last couple of years, he gets beat up behind that Swiss Cheese they call an o-line, and they're going to need someone to take over for him long-term sooner rather than later.

2) Kid does have skills, but it's a question if his head is screwed on quite right sometimes

3) I'm pretty sure Jerry Jones never has to worry about lack of attention, Manziel or not

4) Regardless of how much media and fan attention is present in college, there's really no comparison (outside of Alabama) to the national attention (including ridicule and criticism) given to the NFL. *ESPECIALLY* the Cowboys. He might be able to handle it better than others, but who knows.

5) True. Question is: what type of value would you get for Romo and his contract? And of the teams that would be able to pay highly for QB help, would JJ really want to send a player he loves to, say, Cleveland?

6) Does Jerry really care about the Texans? (This is a serious question; I actually don't know the answer)

7) Can't argue with the marketing aspect

8) On one hand, Manziel could bring #2 legitimacy. On the other, maybe that number is cursed.

9) "They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight... fight fight fight, fight fight fight... The Dezzy and Manzie Show!"

10) True

11) Ah, yes, the requisite "Troll the Cowboys' fans" line *sigh*
 
2014-01-09 09:28:37 PM  

tnpir: Wadded Beef: Manziel will go to Jacksonville. They're desperate for a QB but even more desperate to put butts in the seats. Maybe they'll lose a tarp or two.

This. Kiper (yeah, I know) already has Manziel going to the Jags at 4, and lord knows that team needs SOMETHING to give it an identity.


Which is kinda weird, because the Jags have the 3, and the Browns have the 4.
 
2014-01-09 09:32:41 PM  

Slow To Return: steamingpile: Jerry's not a shiatbag he's just a moron who knows nothing about building an NFL team, the only time they won was because Jimmy built the team.

Well, he DID know enough to hire Jimmy in the first place.


Yeah and a broken clock is right twice a day.

Luck has more to do with that hire.
 
2014-01-09 09:33:13 PM  

Joe_diGriz: Let's go through this list, just for the heck of it:

1) Good point, actually. Romo is getting older, he's gotten injured the last couple of years, he gets beat up behind that Swiss Cheese they call an o-line, and they're going to need someone to take over for him long-term sooner rather than later.

2) Kid does have skills, but it's a question if his head is screwed on quite right sometimes

3) I'm pretty sure Jerry Jones never has to worry about lack of attention, Manziel or not

4) Regardless of how much media and fan attention is present in college, there's really no comparison (outside of Alabama) to the national attention (including ridicule and criticism) given to the NFL. *ESPECIALLY* the Cowboys. He might be able to handle it better than others, but who knows.

5) True. Question is: what type of value would you get for Romo and his contract? And of the teams that would be able to pay highly for QB help, would JJ really want to send a player he loves to, say, Cleveland?

6) Does Jerry really care about the Texans? (This is a serious question; I actually don't know the answer)

7) Can't argue with the marketing aspect

8) On one hand, Manziel could bring #2 legitimacy. On the other, maybe that number is cursed.

9) "They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight... fight fight fight, fight fight fight... The Dezzy and Manzie Show!"

10) True

11) Ah, yes, the requisite "Troll the Cowboys' fans" line *sigh*


Cleveland would be a decent spot. Flip first rounders and something to sweeten the pot...
 
2014-01-09 09:37:43 PM  
So at the end the writer biatches about too much publicity and being force fed stories about the Cowboys in his I just invented a cowboy story to fill column space and force feed you a cowboy story

Brilliant!
 
2014-01-09 09:42:19 PM  
Cowboys do need to draft a QB but they are not dumb enough to draft him
 
2014-01-09 09:42:41 PM  

SlothB77: scottydoesntknow: 12)
[media.onsugar.com image 550x440]

this is the second hilarious post written by you i have read today

("One thing is clear: this type of behavior is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it because the people of New Jersey deserve better.

Do they Chris? Do they really?)

being the other.


Thanks! Honestly there are only a few things that I take seriously when it comes to commenting on this site. Otherwise my links/posts are here to make farkers laugh.

Glad I could help :)
 
2014-01-09 09:54:03 PM  
Do it, Jerry. Doooooo eeeeeeetttt!!!
 
2014-01-09 10:03:45 PM  

steamingpile: Slow To Return: steamingpile: Jerry's not a shiatbag he's just a moron who knows nothing about building an NFL team, the only time they won was because Jimmy built the team.

Well, he DID know enough to hire Jimmy in the first place.

Yeah and a broken clock is right twice a day.

Luck has more to do with that hire.


That and both Jerruh and Johnson were old college teammates.
 
2014-01-09 10:07:39 PM  
Swap 1's with Oakland, this years 4 and a conditional 1/2 next year (depending on whether Dallas makes the payoffs)?  Probably not right with the chart but I'd take it as a Raider fan.

/Beats paying top 5 money for an eventual disappointment
//Sadly Jerruh is not Ted Sepien
 
2014-01-09 10:12:19 PM  

Prey4reign: with all the redneck, white trash baggage he and his inbred family brings to the table.


I too hate honkies and their culture
 
2014-01-09 10:59:19 PM  
Flip firsts.
Give whoever your second and third.
Probably have to throw in a player for cap reasons.
Done deal.
Wouldn't shock me seeing Jerry in action all these years.
 
2014-01-09 11:20:40 PM  
Subby you have finally found the bottom. A Cowboys troll article so low that neither Trey nor Di will bite.
 
2014-01-09 11:41:23 PM  

tnpir: Kiper (yeah, I know) already has Manziel going to the Jags at 4, and lord knows that team needs SOMETHING to give it an identity.


Other than those stupid-ass helmets, at least...
 
2014-01-10 12:07:54 AM  

mikaloyd: Subby you have finally found the bottom. A Cowboys troll article so low that neither Trey nor Di will bite.


Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll, I thought. I have no idea where Di is, she has some sort of radar for Cowboys threads ordinarily.

For my part, I've had enough as well. They're out of it, their season is over, it's time to put the brakes on and wait until Jerrah does something breathtakingly stupid during the offseason. If by some miracle that doesn't happen, we'll all be refreshed for August when the trolling begins anew.

Please let this be the last one for the season. When I'm feeling some sympathy for them you know it's gotten out of hand.
 
2014-01-10 04:10:02 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: mikaloyd: Subby you have finally found the bottom. A Cowboys troll article so low that neither Trey nor Di will bite.

Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll, I thought. I have no idea where Di is, she has some sort of radar for Cowboys threads ordinarily.

For my part, I've had enough as well. They're out of it, their season is over, it's time to put the brakes on and wait until Jerrah does something breathtakingly stupid during the offseason. If by some miracle that doesn't happen, we'll all be refreshed for August when the trolling begins anew.

Please let this be the last one for the season. When I'm feeling some sympathy for them you know it's gotten out of hand.


I said the same thing about 20 threads ago, so like tuesday
 
2014-01-10 05:35:12 AM  
So whats the odds on him winning a Superb Owl in a couple of years and making the haters choke on a hater tot?
 
2014-01-10 05:48:28 AM  
bridgewater at #1 is interesting


/go texans
 
2014-01-10 09:07:37 AM  
Young Manziel

images.starpulse.com
 
2014-01-10 09:25:51 AM  

Hoban Washburne: They are kind of like the Yankees.


Except for the 19 year championship drought they are in the midst of, of course.
 
2014-01-10 09:26:24 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll


And nothing of value was lost.
 
2014-01-10 09:58:57 AM  

rjakobi: I can counter with one reason why he should not:

The moment he does, the board of directors will rise as one and toss him out the window of his high-rise office.


Then he would be the greatest draft pick ever by the cowboys, even if he never plays a single down.
 
2014-01-10 10:07:39 AM  

bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.


He was an incredibly active poster in all football threads, friendly to all, and made trivia. I'd say he brought a lot more to the tab than you do.
 
2014-01-10 10:33:37 AM  

bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.


The trivia posts were the second best thing in the power rankings threads.
 
rka
2014-01-10 10:50:05 AM  
<i>Romo is 33 - Make that 34 at the start of next season's training camp. He'll be coming off herniated disc surgery. Ask Peyton Manning how that can go.  </i>

Hmm. Not sure exactly what he was going for. Ok. Aging athletes are bound to decline in skills. Time gets us all. Fine. Solid point.

But to bring up Manning as some sort of negative? The same Peyton Manning who after sitting out one year has come back and had two of the greatest statistical seasons of his career and set multiple QB records, has not missed a game in 2 complete seasons after everyone said he was one hit from being out of the NFL, and just lead the most prolific offense the NFL has ever seen? That's the comparison you want to make as to why the Cowboys need a new QB?

Weird.
 
2014-01-10 10:50:35 AM  

ValisIV: bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.

He was an incredibly active poster in all football threads, friendly to all, and made trivia. I'd say he brought a lot more to the tab than you do.


If youre going to whine about your favorite teams hate then quit going into obvious threads about that team, hell I quit going to the politics tab because its not exactly rational in there.
 
2014-01-10 11:00:23 AM  
Manziel or not (hopefully not) the cowboys need to draft and develop quarterbacks. The Cowboys problem is that need someone who. A. knows how to draft players  and B. knows how to develop them. Go Jerrah! You f*cking arse
 
2014-01-10 11:22:39 AM  
What is more important to Cowboys fans - how much money Jerry Jones makes, or the team's win record?
 
2014-01-10 12:09:34 PM  

YouWinAgainGravity: it's really a super good idea to use your high draft picks on skill players when the basic composition of your team, o-line and d-line aren't very good or are injury prone. it always works out well to put a highpriced qb behind a shiatty line, or add some star cornerback when your line couldn't stop an 80 year old from 5 yards per carry.


Hush, you. Jerry might hear. As a Redskins fan, I can't risk that possibility.
 
2014-01-10 12:18:14 PM  

rka: <i>Romo is 33 - Make that 34 at the start of next season's training camp. He'll be coming off herniated disc surgery. Ask Peyton Manning how that can go.  </i>

Hmm. Not sure exactly what he was going for. Ok. Aging athletes are bound to decline in skills. Time gets us all. Fine. Solid point.

But to bring up Manning as some sort of negative? The same Peyton Manning who after sitting out one year has come back and had two of the greatest statistical seasons of his career and set multiple QB records, has not missed a game in 2 complete seasons after everyone said he was one hit from being out of the NFL, and just lead the most prolific offense the NFL has ever seen? That's the comparison you want to make as to why the Cowboys need a new QB?

Weird.


'cept that Romo is nothing like Manning. Yeah, Manning is kinda pedestrian in playoffs, but at least he has more than 1 playoff win, and 1 superb owl ring.
 
2014-01-10 12:24:53 PM  

ValisIV: bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.

He was an incredibly active poster in all football threads, friendly to all, and made trivia. I'd say he brought a lot more to the tab than you do.


Perhaps, but if he gets his jimmies rustled when the comparison between Orton's game with Romo's last year's game 17 (number of interceptions, 2-min drill performance, et al) was brought up, then...

Dont get me wrong, I like Trey, but you could not talk about Romo's 2-min drill statistics without him crying foul every now and then.
 
2014-01-10 12:26:57 PM  
12.  Ensure future NFC East division titles for the Eagles
 
2014-01-10 12:59:34 PM  

Ken VeryBigLiar: Swap 1's with Oakland, this years 4 and a conditional 1/2 next year (depending on whether Dallas makes the payoffs)? Probably not right with the chart but I'd take it as a Raider fan.


Dammit no. The Bears are going to trade with Oakland to get Jadaveon Clowney.

/at least in my world they do
//but JC would have to drop some for that to happen
///come on JC! get caught with pot and scare off the stupid!
 
2014-01-10 01:07:43 PM  
And Jerry jones will have to admit that Tony Romo is not "The Man" or will not be "The Man" soon for the Cowboys.  Jerry would gladly eat his own penis before he would admit he was wrong
 
2014-01-10 01:33:41 PM  

rka: <i>Romo is 33 - Make that 34 at the start of next season's training camp. He'll be coming off herniated disc surgery. Ask Peyton Manning how that can go.  </i>

Hmm. Not sure exactly what he was going for. Ok. Aging athletes are bound to decline in skills. Time gets us all. Fine. Solid point.

But to bring up Manning as some sort of negative? The same Peyton Manning who after sitting out one year has come back and had two of the greatest statistical seasons of his career and set multiple QB records, has not missed a game in 2 complete seasons after everyone said he was one hit from being out of the NFL, and just lead the most prolific offense the NFL has ever seen? That's the comparison you want to make as to why the Cowboys need a new QB?

Weird.


Usually I read at least 2-3 points off of these lists before shaking my head, but this time I made it halfway through the first one.
 
2014-01-10 02:18:20 PM  
The biggest reason for Dallas to draft Manziel is so the rest of the country won't have to think about him once the regular season ends.
 
2014-01-10 02:37:21 PM  

mcmnky: The biggest reason for Dallas to draft Manziel is so the rest of the country won't have to think about him once the regular season ends.


Yeah, but that could be achieved with the Browns or Jags, and then we wouldn't have to hear about him during the regular season, either.
 
2014-01-10 02:44:05 PM  

IAmRight: mcmnky: The biggest reason for Dallas to draft Manziel is so the rest of the country won't have to think about him once the regular season ends.

Yeah, but that could be achieved with the Browns or Jags, and then we wouldn't have to hear about him during the regular season, either.


What can I say? You are right.
 
2014-01-10 02:51:36 PM  
I love the fact that JM doesn't even pretend to care about the rules.  He has to sit out part of a game and one of the first things he does is publicly flaunt (more or less) that he did what he was accused of.  He just didn't give a fark.

However, he kind of reminds me of Tebow in two distinct ways:
1.  He is a massive distraction - If Tebow was just tebow and not TEBOW, he'd probably still be in the NFL as a 2nd or 3rd stringer.  While probably a better all around QB compared to Tebow, JM brings a lot of that circus with him, and outside of the Jags I don't see him as a first year starter.  You want all that BS around your backup QB?

2. He's not your typical QB.  You have to design a system around him, you can't just drop him into a system.  Because of that you are screwing your team if he gets hurt or doesn't pan out.
 
2014-01-10 03:27:04 PM  

Dinobot: ValisIV: bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.

He was an incredibly active poster in all football threads, friendly to all, and made trivia. I'd say he brought a lot more to the tab than you do.

Perhaps, but if he gets his jimmies rustled when the comparison between Orton's game with Romo's last year's game 17 (number of interceptions, 2-min drill performance, et al) was brought up, then...

Dont get me wrong, I like Trey, but you could not talk about Romo's 2-min drill statistics without him crying foul every now and then.


Yep, he was decent until you poked the sacred cow, then he turned politics tab idiot.
 
2014-01-10 03:46:39 PM  

germ78:

Dammit no. The Bears are going to trade with Oakland to get Jadaveon Clowney.

/at least in my world they do
//but JC would have to drop some for that to happen
///come on JC! get caught with pot and scare off the stupid!


After the Sam Hurd debacle, I don't think the Bears are too high on substance abusers.


Dinobot:
'cept that Romo is nothing like Manning. Yeah, Manning is kinda pedestrian in playoffs, but at least he has more than 1 playoff win, and 1 superb owl ring.


An owl ring? That does sound superb!
 
2014-01-10 07:33:56 PM  
nah.....the cowboys are gonna draft famous jameis rapist in 2 years
 
2014-01-10 08:07:21 PM  

ValisIV: bel4sucks: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Trey quit Fark during the last Cowboys troll

And nothing of value was lost.

He was an incredibly active poster in all football threads, friendly to all, and made trivia. I'd say he brought a lot more to the tab than you do.


Please, most of the active posting was him pissing and moaning.  Plus, he was a welshing biatch that didn't pay his debts.  fark em.
 
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